If Only I had Known
by wherewestandisnowhere
Summary: Never once did she think Maura would ever be interested in a woman. And yet now it's something she is blatantly aware of and so angry about. Because had she known, she would have made it clear long ago that she was in love with her best friend. Rizzles
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay so this is my first ever fanfic so please be gentle. Read and enjoy. Another A/N will be at the bottom.**

* * *

There she lay for the third time this week, in her empty bed within her dull and lifeless apartment wide awake staring at her popcorn ceiling. She remained looking above, tracing its mountains and valleys with her eyes, willing sleep to come. But this being her third night in a row going over the same routine, she knew it wouldn't happen. Because she can't shut her brain down when all it's thinking about is her and the what ifs.

One name runs through her head constantly reminding her of how stupid she is.

Julia Fields.

A name so pleasantly bland for such a well rounded, perfect person. And she hated her for it.

But why?

Because for a woman with a name that seemed so plain, she was actually anything but. Because she had done something Jane has never thought possible. Never once did she think Maura would ever be interested in a woman. And yet now it's something she is blatantly aware of and so angry about.

Because had she known, she would have made it clear long ago that she was in love with her best friend.

And now she sits here a painfully average woman with a bad attitude, a dangerous job and a foul mouth in competition with a well educated, strikingly beautiful, talented, artistic, classy (hell she could go on forever about how perfect this damn woman is and that's the fucking problem) young A.D.A. And it's no wonder she caught Maura's eye. Any straight woman would be interested. And then she thinks back to the word competition and realizes there really isn't any. Because Julia has Maura and Jane isn't even sure if Maura would ever be interested in her…especially when she has her lovely and ever perfect counselor.

Fuck. She is never sleeping.

A sound invades her ears and she realized she has zoned out again, her mind on one person. Honey blonde locks, strikingly sharp, green eyes and a smile that lights up her life. She hadn't even realized until a week after not talking to her, how much she has missed it.

A week?

It's been a fucking week?

Why is she such an asshole? Why is she taking this out on Maura? It's not her fault and she doesn't even know why Jane's mad.

Finally recognizing the noise she starts looking for her phone that's usually attached to her at all times, but this time it isn't. Fuck she really is losing it.

"Ah ha" she exclaims, reaching under her sheets to grab the phone. "Rizzoli" she characteristically answers. Listening to the words she has been expecting. There has been a murder and now she has to stop ignoring Maura and actually face her. Fuck she really can't deal with this on only 6 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours. A dead body will not stop Maura Isles from getting everything out in the open.

She can't help it when she thinks back to her last encounter with the doctor.

* * *

_She knocks on the door of the honey blonde's apartment exhausted from finally closing the triple homicide that had been stumping her and her team for the past 2 weeks. But between Maura and Jane, cases seem to be having a lot higher closing rates lately; Boston Homicide receiving several accolades as a result. There was no doubt they'd solve this one no matter how tough it was._

_Thinking back to this week though she couldn't help but notice Maura had been a bit distant. Dreamy almost, like she was in a world of her own. Last time she was like this, Ian was in town. But every time she asked, Maura just brushed her off. They had promised to tell each other everything since Ian, so she just chalked it up to fatigue from the hard case and the three bodies on Maura's tables._

_Which is why she sits on Maura's doorstep with the cheapest of Maura's favorite wines and a six-pack of beer in hopes of relaxing with her best friend after the long week._

_After three minutes and no answer she begins to worry. Her friend has never not opened the door. Pulling out her phone readying to call Maura and see if she was home and safe, the door finally opens to reveal a slightly disheveled doctor._

_After a few seconds of observation Jane finally decides to break the awkward silence._

"_Hey Maur. Are you okay? You look a little out of your element." _Maura only ever looks like this when- _and then realization dawns on her. "You have a hot date over right now don't you." She jabs, smirking and raising an eyebrow while hiding her hurt that Maura is entertaining yet another unworthy male visitor._

_When Maura doesn't respond she furrows her eyebrows. "It's not Ian is it? I'm not interrupting am I? Maur I told you to tell me if he came back. I thought we were sharing everything. I can't believ-_

"_Jane" Maura cuts her off. "It's not Ian…It's. I-Its's someone new I've met."_

"_Oh" Jane breathes. "Well sorry I interrupted. I just figured you'd tell me you met someone. I hope he treats you right. Maybe I could meet him?" she asks slumping her shoulders. Maura has found someone she cares enough about to hide from Jane and this truly worries her because the last person she hid was the "love of her life."_

"_Jane I don't think that's a good idea right now." Maura responds._

_Jane sighs. "You know I thought we'd been through this. I mean I'm not especially nosey but I'd like to know who's in your life and assess whether or not he's good enough for you. I'm sorry I just want to make sure he's a good guy and worthy of-"_

"_Jane" Maura interrupts for the second time. "I just-" she pauses and stares at the ground for a few seconds before decidedly collecting herself. She steels herself for what she is about to say and then just blurts "it'sashejane"_

_Jane just stands there bewildered, the shock evident on her face as her eyes widen and jaw drops. Maura stands there knowing this would happen but Jane has so many thoughts going through her head she doesn't respond. What Maura thinks is shock that she is interested in women is only half of Jane's internal struggle with the news. She can't help but wonder if she ever had a shot and how stupid she feels now for never sharing her feelings with her best friend. Now she stands here in disbelief, her chances out the window. The biggest thing holding her back was the fear Maura had no interest in women and now… she has no idea what to think. She finally collects herself and straightens up to speak._

_But the silence is interrupted before she can react by a tall, curvy brunette, with tan skin, plump lips and a face Maura would describe as very symmetrical. The woman makes herself known by clearing her throat and asking in a soft yet slightly hoarse voice If everything is okay._

_Maura just nods walks to her and whispers something into her ear. Seconds later the brunette retreats and Maura steps outside shutting the door behind her poised to face Jane._

"_So?" Maura drawls out, the doctor uncharacteristically out of words._

"_Ummm that was…unexpected." A second passed before she finally just says what's on her chest. "Why didn't you tell me?"_

"_Jane? Do you really have to ask? It's my personal life and I didn't want it to get out just yet…I mean look at the reaction you're having to this news." She shrugs._

"_So she is kind of getting serious?"_

_Maura just stares at her quirking an eyebrow._

"_Sorry. I guess it's not really my business but come on Maur! You can tell me anything! You know that. Why hide this? I don't care if you're gay" she responds clearly upset though in her head she just wishes she knew and had been less cowardly in expressing her feelings._

"_I'm not gay Jane" Maura bites back._

"_What?" Jane just stares at her clearly not understanding. _Oh God please don't tell me I've completely misjudged this and made an ass out of myself.

"_I'm not gay." Maura says slower like Jane is deaf._

_Jane stares at her for a minute somewhat angered at the blonde's tone before finally speaking. "Then what is the meaning of this? Have you found a new best friend Maura?" Jane barks clearly getting angrier now._

"_No. We are dating. Her name is Julia Fields. She's one of Boston's new A.D.A.s and she-"_

"_So then what do you mean you're not gay Maura because I'm pretty sure dating a woman means you're gay." Somewhat taken back at the doctor's conflicting statements._

"_Clearly Jane you haven't heard of the LGBTQQIAAP community" Maura responds getting frustrated._

_Jane just stares wide eyed so Maura continues. "Sexuality is not as black and white as gay or straight anymore. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Ally, Asexual and Pansexual are all differing sexualities acknowledged in the acronym." The doctor informs her spitting facts like always._

"_Okay" Jane sighs. "So what does that make you?"_

"_Well I'd hardly like to label myself because I truly don't believe sexuality is significant to me. I go by facts and science. I realize I am attracted to people just like others but acknowledge the scientific causes. Meaning pheromones, courtship, facial symmetry and sometimes personally I enjoy a good personality. I hardly look at sex. So I guess I could be labeled as Pansexual in a way." Maura responds in her very scientific tone._

_Jane stands there listening and all the thoughts go through her head so fast she can hardly process and separate them._

Maura is gay. Well Pansexual. I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking idiot. Is this even her first girlfriend? She seems to know a lot about this if Julia is her first. Well, wait I mean she knows a lot about everything. Should I ask her though? Is that crossing a line? Wow! Why did I never think that Maura could be gay. Dammit. Shit Fuck Damn. Jane you idiot. You fucking idiot. Could I have had a chance? Could Maura have-

"_Jane?" Maura questions interrupting her thoughts_

"_Right. Look I'm terribly sorry to interrupt. Go enjoy Julia. I will just be on my way." She stares at Maura who looks hurt and decides to add "You could have told me Maur. I love you no matter what" the double meaning dripping as she turns to leave ignoring Maura's pleas for her to wait._

By the time she is done thinking about it she is halfway to the crime scene. That was a week ago and she has been avoiding and ignoring Maura's calls ever since. _Dammit. Why did I just walk away like an ass. I should have been a better friend and asked her about Julia.I should have told her I was happy for her and supported her. I shouldn't have fucking ignored her now she will know something is wrong. What the hell am I going to tell her?_

* * *

**A/N: So there you have it. I don't know if I should continue. If this is up to anyone's standards. I haven't written for fun in about 6 years so I hope this was up to par. If you have any suggestions please feel free to leave them. If I continue this is going to be a pretty long fic. I'm on summer vacay for the next 3 months too so expect regular updates. Anyways thanks for reading.  
**

**Oh if anyone is interested the story name comes from a Tchaikovsky piece. It's actually quite beautiful if anyone cares to listen. He's my favorite composer. I'm sure most of you know him from the Nutcracker, Swan Lake or the 1812 Overture.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I just want to thank everyone who reviewed or put a story alert on my story. When I would see other authors say that reviews inspire them to write I would think they were just trying to get more. But honestly I've realized its the absolute truth. You guys have really inspired me to keep writing. So I come bearing gifts of a quick update.**

**Also I didn't put a disclaimer on the first chapter but just to be safe, I don't own these characters. If I did Rizzles would be canon.  
**

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It's a crime scene no different from any other. Flashing red and blue lights intensified against the night sky. Yellow tape surrounding and blocking off the entire street while onlookers try to get a glimpse of what it going on. EMTs, CSU and Boston police officers remain wandering about; each doing their own specific duties.

Jane approaches the body Maura is already looking over, confidence in her step though she is anything but confident right now.

"What have we got" she asks her partner Frost

"It appears to be a hit and run. Female around the age of 25. No ID."

"Okay so Maura can check over the body for any evidence of the car and we proceed like always. Seems simple; we've done this plenty of times" Jane replies. _Thank god. I may be able to make it out without much consultation with Maura for the time being_.

"I don't think it's that simple Jane." Maura speaks up. "The body appears to have experienced trauma equal to what one should experience by being hit by a car but I'm not so sure about that. I can't tell you anything definite but the body seems a bit suspicious. And look she has defensive wounds on her wrists." Pointing to the victim's wrists, Maura tries beckoning Jane over.

Jane doesn't move but just continues to talk to the doctor from where Frost is. "So you think this was a set-up to seem like a hit and run. What could have caused her death if not a car?" _Why do I even bother she is just going to say the same thing as always-_

"Jane you know I don't like to guess. I'm just saying it's suspicious and there's a possibility that things aren't as they appear." Maura responds.

"Right." Jane drones, her frustration with the doctor growing more evident. _Why can't she ever just make a guess once. Everything has to be facts with her_.

"No I think you may be on to something there doc. If this was a hit and run why is there no evidence of a car being here?" Frost finally interjects. "Look around Jane. No skid marks. It's very rare that there is a hit and run without skid marks or some sort of tire tracks."

"Okay. So get the body back to the morgue and look it over for evidence and perform an autopsy so we can figure out how she really died. Also try and find a way to ID her. If this wasn't a hit and run than this was just the dumping ground. We need to find our murder scene." Jane states routinely readying herself to leave.

"Jane can we talk please." Maura asks eyes shifting to Frost as if telling him to leave.

"Well I'm going to ask around and see if anyone saw anything" Frost says taking Maura's cue.

Jane inwardly sighs. _Here it goes just what I've been avoiding._

"Darkening of the nasojugal fold indicates fatigue" Maura states factually

"Okay so she wasn't getting enough sleep-"

"No Jane I'm talking about you. Have you not been sleeping? Are you okay? You're not having nightmares again are you? Because-"

_Why does she always have to be so sweet. She asks first if I'm okay rather than why I have been avoiding her._ Jane thinks before cutting the doctor off "No Maur I'm fine. Look can we please not do this here over a dead body."

"Oh. Okay where would you rather talk then?" Maura asks somewhat hurt.

"I just- not right now. I don't know when Maura I can't-"Jane looks around in hopes of finding an out when she sees Frost waving her over. "Frost is calling me I have to go." She points out before walking over to him leaving Maura behind.

"You Barry are a lifesaver of epic proportions. What have you got?" Jane questions after reaching her partner.

"Don't think you're going to get out of telling me what's going on between you and the doc." Frost accuses. "This guy says he knows you and he's only telling you what he knows." Pointing her to a dark skinned man standing behind him.

"Well hello Vanilla. Long time no see. Have you missed your Chocolate?" The man questions while his eyebrows waggle.

"Sure Rondo." The detective drawls while slipping the man a $40. "Tell me what you know."

"I talked around to a few of the people out here that don't want to be called in as witnesses. They say they saw a black car with no tags pull up, push the girl out and drive off."

"Thanks. You hear anything else you give me a call." she comments while handing him her card.

"Sure thing Vanilla, you know I could never pass up talking to you. You lookin' fine tonight by the way mmm." He flirted.

"Thanks Ron, always the charmer. I'll see you later." Jane drones while walking back over to her partner.

"That you will sweet cheeks." Rondo shouts to the retreating detective.

Jane groans upon reaching Barry. "Let's go before Maura comes back. Meet me at headquarters in 15."

The detectives get into their vehicles and drive off; Jane stopping along the way to collect herself for a few minutes.

"Fuck." _What am I going to tell Frost. I guess this time I will have to tell the truth hmm. God who ever thought fucking Barry Frost would figure it out before Korsak. He really is a better detective sometimes. _She thinks before remembering the conversation she and Frost had a few weeks before.

* * *

"_Bye Jane. See you later at the Robber, you too Barry. Come down if you need anything." The doctor shouted while leaving the office._

_Jane stared at her retreating form before slumping in her seat and sighing internally. _Another night out with the love of my life, another night probably ending up at one or the other's apartment and passing out together but not actually "together". I don't think I can do this anymore. _Jane thinks to herself._

"_So I guess you're never gonna tell her, huh Rizzoli?" Frost questions with a smug look on his face_

"_What are you talking about Frost?" Jane scoffs. _Shit am I that transparent. Can Maura tell too? Can anyone else?

"_Relax Jane. No one else knows and I'm not going to tell anyone. But you should stop beating yourself up about it and just go for it. I think she feels the same way." He says._

"_I still have no idea what you're trying to say Frost." The brunette tries to deny. _What the fuck, is he in my head?

"_Sure you don't Jane. She isn't going to be single forever. The doc's one hot woman. I'd hate to see her go to someone that isn't you. You deserve each other." He states matter-of-factly._

"_If you're trying to imply what I think you are, you're wrong so you can drop it. And if you had been focusing on this case you'd realize CSU found these fibers at the scene." She points out while picking up evidence off his desk that should have already been sent to Maura. "But since you're too busy focusing on things you think you know I guess I will have to go down and give them to Maura to analyze" Jane states. "And Maura isn't some sort of prize from a claw machine or some sort of object so don't talk about her like someone is going to buy her." She whispers angrily before walking away. _Shit that probably just confirmed exactly what he was thinking. Nice going Jane. _She thinks while walking towards the elevator to see the object of her desires._

* * *

Jane groans while in her car. Hands white due to how hard she is gripping her steering wheel while she restarts her car and continues driving. _Dammit I really am that obvious. I guess I will have to confide in Barry about this since he was right and will most likely tell me so once he finds out about the doctor's new female love interest. There is no hiding it anymore. _She thinks while continuing towards Boston Homicide.

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**A/N 2: So I just want to say that I've just made a tumblr for you guys to ask me questions and also to post a bunch of R&I stuff though I can't promise I will be on too much. Its my pen name wherewestandisnowhere(.)tumblr(.)com And I want to say you guys are great one more time. I love that everyone hates Julia before they've even really met her. If you think about it you've only heard about her through Jane's perspective. But your reviews just make me that more excited for the things I have planned for her in this story ;) This is going to be fun.**


	3. Chapter 3

__**A/N: A few people are upset about the pairing of Maura with someone other than Jane and I understand your frustration. I just want to say the Rizzles is endgame and Julia is a little thing I'd like to call plot development. Thus she is going to be a big part of this story for the time being and it's going to be a few chapters before the slow build up erupts into the big shabang. So please bear with me on this, I promise it will be worth it.  
**

**Here is another quick update, but I'm not going to make promises that they will always be quick like this. I'm sorry if this thing seems to be going a bit slow but it's all important so I refuse to cut out plot just to speed things along, especially when it's important plot. I just want to say that this story is about Jane finding herself as much as trying to be with Maura. So yeah if you would like me to go into a bit more detail or something, ask me some questions on my tumblr wherewestandisnowhere(.)tumblr(.)com or PM me and I'd be happy to tell you what I can without ruining anything. If you want to wait until Jane and Maura actually get together I won't blame you. I can change the story description when it happens so you guys will no or something like that. Thank you again for the reviews, they really help.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. They are property of TNT and I do this for no personal gain.  
**

* * *

_Why is Jane avoiding me? I thought she was just sick or something and not really socializing with anyone so that's why I didn't show up at her apartment and force her to talk to me. But after seeing her today I know something else is wrong. I've been calling her but she hasn't been answering. Is she not okay with my sexuality? This is exactly why I was afraid to tell her. Maybe Barry could help me out._ Maura Isles thinks to herself while walking into Headquarters, thankfully at the same time as Frost.

"Barry may I speak with you for a moment?" the doctor questions as she approaches Frost in headquarters' lobby.

"Sure Doc what's up?" He replies while stopping to talk to her.

"Could you make a coffee run with me? That way we can talk in a more private setting." _What am I going to do, tell him I'm dating our new female A.D.A. I guess it won't hurt. He's a great friend, I bet it wouldn't bother him. Though that's what I thought about Jane._

"No problem." He shrugs walking with the doctor towards the coffee shop down the street.

"So ummm have you been talking to Jane? Is everything alright with her? She has been avoiding me I presume from all the missed phone calls and the way she was acting at the scene today." She says rather glumly.

"Yeah I noticed that. She has been fine. I haven't really noticed anything different. Did something happen between you two?" He asks speaking in half truths.

They arrive at the coffee shop and order their drinks. And continue talking while waiting for their order.

"Well I'm not quite sure but I think so." She pauses. "What I'm about to tell you does not reach anyone else's ears for the time being okay Frost?" she looks at Frost who is a making a mouth sealed gesture before continuing.

"I'm dating someone new and I think Jane isn't comfortable with my choice of companionship because-" She stops momentarily. _Boy telling people this never gets easy. It's so hard to gauge their reactions. Okay well I have to tell him if I want him to help so here it goes."_Because it's a she and well, I'm worried Jane isn't okay with that." She finally gets out. Bringing her eyes up to look at Frost only to met with a huge smile.

"Woah Doc. Congrats. But I doubt Jane isn't okay with your choice. Is there anything else? I mean how did she find out?" He inquires. They begin walking back to Boston Homicide after receiving their coffee. Frost grabbing one for Jane also.

"She showed up at my apartment last week and realized I had a visitor so I had to tell her. I was waiting until a better time. I guess there really wasn't a good time, but there was definitely a bad one because that is not how I wanted her to find out." Looking down she feels somewhat ashamed that she didn't tell Jane from the beginning.

"Well then there's your answer Maura. I think Jane probably is upset you didn't think you could tell her. Just talk it out with her and tell her you're sorry. You know she isn't going to hold a grudge against you forever."

"Thanks Barry. I think you're right. I guess even though I may be well equipped when it comes to science, live people just aren't my strong point. Not even when it comes to Jane. I'm going to head downstairs and get working on this case. The faster we get done the faster I can talk to Jane." She says while walking into the elevator.

Barry nods and waves goodbye as he steps into the other elevator.

* * *

Jane pull's up to headquarters 10 minutes later than expected after her pit stop. She heads upstairs in search for Barry who is sitting on the edge of her desk with a coffee in hand for her.

"Thanks Barry, you're a lifesaver." Taking a sip of her coffee she looks around before staring back at Frost. "Hey you mind if we have a chat in the interrogation room?"

"You too now huh? I guess I'm Boston Homicide's lead confidant along with best detective." Laughing he leads the way towards the room. Jane just scoffs at his comment and follows him into the room.

"What do you mean me too?" Jane quarks an eyebrow questioningly.

"Maura just asked me if I knew why you were dodging her. Now I suspect I know one reason but I told her a different one so she is none the wiser. Telling her is your problem. But I did warn you if you didn't tell her soon someone else would snag her, I just didn't think it'd be a woman that isn't you." Frost states

"She told you?" Jane asks wide eyed while Barry nods. Jane growls before responding. "Okay you were right. But I mean look at Maura. Nobody in their right mind could not be interested, but I just never thought she could be into women. Now I'm kicking myself while miss perfect has her hands on her. And then when I found out I just shut down and didn't know how to react and I've been avoiding her ever since. What am I supposed to say to her without telling her how I feel? What did you tell her by the way?"

"I told her you're probably upset she didn't think she could tell you about it." He shrugs.

"Barry I could just kiss you. Why didn't I think of that? Brilliant." She claps happily. "I can just forgive her and she will be none the wiser."

"Do you think that's really a good idea Jane?" He asks. "I mean you love her don't you? You should tell her. Maybe she feels the same way. You can't torture yourself and remain friends with her while she tells you about how she is happy with someone else, that's unfair and unhealthy for yourself."

Jane just shrugs looking down for a minute before responding. "I do love her. That's why I'm not going to tell her. This girl she is with is like perfect. Trust me. I've researched her. I don't stand a chance and I'd rather not ruin our friendship over it." Sighing she slumps her shoulders.

"If you say so. But just know you don't give yourself enough credit. You're quite the catch yourself. And I'm pulling for you and Maura." He reassures.

"Thanks. Well I supposed we should head down and see Maura about the case. And ummm I'm sorry I was a bit rude the last time we spoke about this. I was a bit defensive."

"Hey. Don't sweat it, I understand." He claps and hand on her shoulder while they step into the elevator.

"Here goes nothing." Jane shrugs before hitting the key for the morgue.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay so this is a short chapter and it may not be exactly what some of you were expected but don't shoot me yet. I work ahead so I'm a chapter or two ahead of this one right now and I'm really excited about the chapter I just finished. It's my favorite so far and it's really long. So try and stick with this at least until then because I promise there are so many great things coming along that I have written and so many plans I have for how this will all play out. **

**And I don't think I really have to do a disclaimer every chapter so lets just say it should be implied from here on out that I don't own these characters.  
**

* * *

"Hey doc what you got for us?" Frost asks while walking through the doors of the morgue, Jane right behind him.

"Hey. I was just about to call you guys down." Maura begins pulling off her gloves and leads them to the computer. She looks at Jane who face remains pointed toward the body avoiding her eyes.

"I got a hit off of her DNA. She's a soldier." Maura points to the screen which shows the victims military information. Jane whips her eyes from the body and immediately looks at the screen.

"Jessica Schuler." Jane reads. "Damn she just finished her tour a week ago. That's a real shame." She begins jotting down the information. "Do you have anything else yet?" Hey eyes remain on her notepad while she asks.

"I've yet to start the autopsy. But I've done a few X-rays and you may want to take a look at this." Maura points to the screen holding the X-ray images. "She's had a few broken ribs, a broken wrist and a hairline fracture to her femur. Also these dark spots on the skull indicate blows to the head, but remodeling shows that these two here are not recent. I'd say by the looks of it, these injuries could be a couple of years old, probably before she enlisted."

"So somebody was beating her before she entered the army." Jane states while examining the images. _Maybe I can avoid looking at her and just get out of here before we have to have this conversation. Then I can think of a better way to approach this situation._

"Do you have any guesses on the cause of death? Do you think that blow to the head killed her?" Frost speculates.

"You know I don't guess Barry. I will do my autopsy and see what I find. I'll contact you with what I've found afterwards." Maura looks to Jane who still continues looking at the X-ray images avoiding her gaze.

"What are you thinking?" Frost asks looking towards Jane.

"I'm thinking whoever was beating her probably found her after she returned from the army. An abusive boyfriend perhaps. We should contact her family and her squad leader and see what they know about her." Jane turns to leave before Maura stops her.

"Jane. Uh can we talk please?" Maura clutches Jane's arm stopping her from leaving.

"I'll see you upstairs Jane." Barry says walking out of the room ignoring the daggers Jane's eye are staring at him. _Way to go Frost. I thought you were on my side._

Jane turns and faces Maura finally looking in her eyes and seeing the hurt look she has been avoiding.

"Did I do something wrong?" Maura asks.

"No." Jane sighs. _Dammit stop looking so hurt. The last thing I want is to be the reason you look so dejected._

"Are you sure? Because I know you've been avoiding me. I'm sorry for not telling you about Julia it was just a new thing and I didn't know how you would take it. I was worried you wouldn't be okay with it."

"God Maur why wouldn't I be okay with it? You're my best friend I don't care that you're dating a girl." _Yes I do but not for the reasons you think. "_I just want what makes you happy." _I just wish it was me that makes you happy."_You can tell me anything." _No matter how much it hurts me._

"I'm sorry. I hate it when you don't talk to me" Maura shrugs.

"I hate not talking to you. I'm sorry about that, I just thought we had an understanding after Ian and then I had a lot of other stuff to think about and I shouldn't have just shut you out like that" Jane states.

"I won't keep anything from you anymore." Maura pulls Jane into a hug. "I've missed you." She sighs into her ear gripping her tight.

"Me too." Jane replies truthfully while shrinking into the embrace. _God Maura, the things you do to me._

Maura lets her go and begins putting her gloves on to get back to work. Jane stands there awkwardly before turning to leave before being stopped by Maura again.

"Hey do you mind if I come over tonight after work? I really have missed you Jane." Maura asks somewhat haphazardly.

"Sure." Jane replies while walking out shoulders slumping after the doors close behind her. _Another night with my best friend who will never be mine. No, now she belongs to Julia Fields. A woman who isn't me. _


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Another short chapter but the next one is going to be really long so be ready for it. The reviews and story alerts are so great. Thank you so much they really help motivate me. And some of you are kind of spot on with some of the things you're saying. Anyways enjoy and please review if you'd like. Also you can visit my tumblr and ask me questions or anything really I'd like to get to know you guys and maybe let you guys get to know me. It's wherewestandisnowhere(.)tumblr(.)com I made it specifically for my writing.**

* * *

Sitting at her desk, Jane slams her phone down for what feels like the 20th time that day, grabs her face and groans in frustration. Korsak and Frost just look at her and shrug until she decides to say something.

"You know I don't think it's coincidence that we can't reach anyone from the victim's family. They're avoiding our calls. Tomorrow we are going to have to take a trip out to her parent's house and force them to talk to us." Jane tells Frost.

"Do you think that's a good idea? Maybe you should wait until her squad leader calls you back and see what he has to say before you drive all the way to Worcester to talk to a family that may not even be there." Korsak suggests.

"Yeah Jane. They may not be avoiding us. Maybe the info we have on them is incorrect. And if they are avoiding us maybe Major Novak will know why." Frost agrees.

"This is bullshit! It's five o'clock and we have nothing to further this case except the victim's identity." Jane pounds her fist on the desk and gets up pulling her blazer off the back of her chair and readying herself to leave.

"It's more than we've had in other cases. Don't sweat it Jane. We will figure this one out." Frost knows Jane isn't just upset about this case but all he can really do is soothe that part of the detective's frustrations.

"Yeah yeah. I'm going to go hit up the gym and lay into the bag. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Hopefully you guys are right or else this case is going nowhere." Jane leaves the office and heads towards her locker so she can grab her gym clothes and head to the BPD gym.

"What's eating her? I've never seen her this strung out." Korsak notes.

"Eh. Chalk it up to that time of the month. Women are too complex to try to understand." Frost says covering for what has really got her on edge.

"Trust me I know. I've been married four times and I still don't understand women. But since when is Jane ever like normal women?" He questions.

"Maybe that's why you were married four times Korsak. And It was bound to happen sooner or later old man." Frost busies himself with paperwork for the next forty-five minutes, though all he can really think about is Jane and how he can help her. He finally decides to go find her and try and talk to her. "I'm going to head out too. See you tomorrow Korsak." He tells his colleague as he heads out of the office towards the gym to talk to Jane.

* * *

Jane is in the gym already punching at the bag stuck in her thoughts. _This is bullshit. Can't solve a case. Can't get the woman. Why can't something go my way this time? _She grunts punching the bag with more force._ I could be better than Julia Fields._ Jane growls putting all her strength into each punch after thinking of her name._ I know everything about Maura. We have practically been dating for the last year. We spend every other night together and we generally sleep in the same bed._ Jane throws all her energy into her punches and lays into the bag until her arms shake from exhaustion but does not slow or weaken her is too deep in her own thoughts that she doesn't hear Frost approach her from behind.

Frost calls Jane's name several times before finally deciding to put his hand on her shoulder. As soon as Jane feels someone touch her she flinches back, grabs the wrist of the person behind her, twists and flips him. A grunt and a familiar "What the hell Jane." brings her out of her thoughts to realize she just flipped her partner.

"I'm so sorry. Shit you scared me." She apologizes while helping Frost up.

"Yeah I can tell." He brushes his shoulders off. "Look I came to make sure you're okay. Korsak is noticing something is off. You know this isn't the best way to deal with this? Bottling your emotions up and then taking them out at the gym. It's not healthy"

"Yeah I know. I'll figure out a better way to deal with this. I've been a little on edge but it isn't permanent. I just hate seeing soldiers on that table and then pair that with the whole Maura thing." She sighs shaking her head. "I had to blow off some steam. I'm feeling a lot better. What time is it?"

Frost looks at his watch. "6:30."

"Shit Maura is coming over at seven! I don't even have time to shower. How did I lose track of time?" She groans grabbing her stuff and rushing out hearing Frost yell out bye as she retreats.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews and alerts I've been getting. Here is the long update I promised. Don't really have much else to say so enjoy and review if you please.**

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Slouching in her seat, muscles sore from overexerting herself in the gym, Jane speeds towards her apartment. _How could I lose track of time. I just hope I'm not too late and she doesn't mind waiting for me to shower. Wow way to go, this is a great way to show Maura you're worth her time. Why am I even bothering? She has someone else._

Jane makes it to her apartment and rushes up the stairs. She notices the lights on under the door. _Thank God she has a key. She didn't have to wait outside. _Unlocking the door Jane rushes inside to see Maura in her kitchen busying herself at her stove. _Maura is cooking for me?_

"Hey Maur. Look I'm so so sorry. I got carried away at the gym and I didn't realize the time until it was already 6:30." Jane apologizes quickly, regret evident in her face.

"Hey don't worry about it I can see you really worked yourself out. I figured you were working late and you'd be hungry and when I realized you weren't here yet I let myself in and decided to make you a home cooked meal. Korsak told me you've been a little on edge today." Maura stirs a pot then walks over to the fridge and pulls out a beer for Jane opening it and handing it to her. "Here. Cool yourself down a bit."

"Thanks." Jane takes a pull of her beer and her and Maura just stare at each other.

_This woman is in your apartment cooking for you and grabbing you beers and she isn't even your girlfriend. Any guy would be in sexist, gender role heaven. I AM in heaven. Just having her here is heaven. But she isn't mine._

After realizing how long she had been staring at Maura, she breaks the silence by clearing her throat.

"Look I really appreciate all this but isn't this the kind of thing you should be doing with your girlfriend?" Jane asks not in a spiteful manner but just inquisitively.

"Hmm?" Maura asks shaking her head as if breaking from her own trance. "Um yeah I guess you're right. But I haven't seen you in a week so why not do the same for you? I really have missed you so consider it an 'I'm glad things are back to normal' meal." Maura states before pulling her eyes from Jane and continuing what she was doing at the stove.

_Things are anything but back to normal Maura, for someone so smart you're so naïve to the emotions at play here._ Jane thinks once again entranced while shamelessly admiring Maura's backside.

Catching her leering Jane clears her throat again. "Yes. Well I hope you don't mind but I really could use a shower so if you'll excuse me I will be back in 20." Jane drinks the last of her beer and gets up to leave.

"Take your time Jane. Dinner won't be ready for at least another 30 anyways." Maura says over her shoulder.

Jane goes into her bathroom, turns the water on hot and begins stripping off her clothes. After stepping under the water she lets it cascade down her back. She tilts her head back and soaks her hair before running her fingers through it, gripping it and pulling it out of frustration. She runs her hands over her face, massages her temple and then sits down in a fetal position under the water. Resting her head on her knees she can't stop herself from groaning as she loses herself in thought.

_Why is she doing this to me? I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can just be her friend. She comes over to my house and makes me dinner and she doesn't even realize that just that simple act is killing me. It's just so domestic. And that's all I want. Domesticity with her. I want her to be mine. Even though we work together and I see her every day I want to come home to her just like this. But I want to be able to wrap her in my arms and kiss her and tell her I love her. And I can't fucking do that because she is with someone else. And then she comes over and rubs what I can't have in my face._

_And I just want to hate her. I want to be able to tell her to leave but I can't. I can't because I love her and she isn't doing this on purpose._

_But I can't keep doing this. I can't be her best friend any more. I can't have her over my house, in my bed. Not unless it's in the sense that I want it to be in. It's all or nothing now. After I get through tonight and she leaves I'm going to distance myself from her. Make excuses when she wants to see me. Let her be happy with Julia. Maybe one day I will find someone for myself who will make me happy. But right now I just have to get through this night and do what's best for Maura._

She stands up and finishes her shower which took longer than planned. She throws on a pair of BPD sweats and a t-shirt, lets out a breath and finally decides she can't waste any more time.

When Jane reappeared from her shower the table was set with two place settings and Maura was beginning to serve the food.

"Perfect timing Jane, I was just getting ready to plate it." Maura arranges the food on the plates perfectly and returns the leftovers to the kitchen. When she returns Jane is still standing and staring at the food. "I got the recipe from your mom for gnocchi. I know it's your favorite. It may not be as good as hers but I really tried and I'm a pretty good cook myself so it should be pretty good." Maura states hoping that's why Jane hasn't sat down yet.

"Why are you doing this Maura? Getting recipes from my mom and cooking for me?" Jane sighs.

"Okay look sit down and we can talk while we eat." She leads Jane to the table, sits her down and pushes in her chair before sitting at her own seat across from Jane. "I've noticed you've been a little off Jane. I'm worried about you and I just want to take care of my friend and make sure you're eating right at least. Don't think I forgot about your fatigue this morning. You're not sleeping well and I don't think spending hours punching a boxing bag is going to help you if you're already this worn out. You need to take it easy. Or at least talk about what's wrong. Will you tell me what your nightmares are about?"

"Maura don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal. It's just from the stress from this case." Jane tries to divert Maura's questioning.

"It is a big deal. And we just got this case today, so that isn't why. I'm going to worry about it because you're my friend and I care about you so tell me what's going on." Maura pushes.

_Dammit Maura. You're the reason I can't sleep. The fact that you've called me your friend twice in the past 5 minutes is why I can't sleep. I want more. And I can't even tell you that because it's not fair to you or Julia._

"Fine. I'm not having nightmares." Jane begins to eat her food keeping her eyes on her plate. _Oh my God! This is as good as Ma's. __If I didn't want to before I'm sure now I want to marry this woman. Fuck Jane you can't think that_.

When she hears Maura ready to speak again and ask for more info she cuts her off. "Look I haven't been sleeping well because I haven't been able to stop thinking at night. Things are a little crazy and my brain just goes into overdrive and I can't stop it. That's why I haven't been sleeping and please don't Googlemouth me on the brain and why it does these things. And don't ask me what's on my mind because I'm not in the mood." Upset from the constant prodding into the sore subject, she strains not to look at Maura. _Just get through tonight. That's all you have to do._

"Jane I'm sorry. I might be able to find some remedies that may help you sleep or I can stay over and try to help you sleep."

"No." Jane almost yells. "No. Look I can take care of it myself. You don't need to worry. I've been living without my mom taking care of me for over a decade; I don't need you to either." Jane instantly regrets her comment when she sees Maura deflate and begin eating her food in silence.

_I can't deal with this right now. This is not going the way I planned and I'm just making it so much worse. _

They continue to eat with only the clinking of forks on plates; Maura not taking her downcast eyes off of her plate. Jane finally can't take her sad countenance anymore and decides to remedy the situation.

"Maura I didn't mean it like that okay. I'm so sorry. I just meant that I can take care of myself and I don't want you to worry over something that's not important. You have your own life to deal with and I don't want to burden you with my issues."

"Okay." Maura sighs deciding not to bother her anymore on the subject. Seeing that Jane is no longer eating she decides she is done too. "Hey how about you go turn on sports center and check out the highlights and I'll clean up in here before I join you."

"No Maura you cooked let me cle-"

"No. It's okay. You go and relax." She goes to the fridge, grabs another beer and motions for Jane to go into the living room while handing it to her. "And Jane, you're the most important person in my life, don't think that something being wrong with you is not important. You being okay is more important than anything going on in my life. Don't ever think of yourself as a burden to me. So if you need help please know you can come to me okay?"

"Okay." She breathes while heading towards her living room to sit on the couch. She turns on ESPN but doesn't pay attention as she gets lost in her thoughts again.

_Okay dinner is done. She won't want to stay too long right? It's almost 8:30 maybe I can say I'm actually tired and go to bed early. I don't think she could do anything more to make me feel uncomfortable with her here. I just want to stop wanting her, and then she does things like cook for me and tells me she cares about me and brings me beers while I watch sports. It's just too much to-_

Jane's thoughts are interrupted by hands kneading her shoulders. She tenses up realizing Maura is standing behind her giving her a massage. And a damn good massage at that.

Her breath hitches before she puts her hands on top of Maura's and stops her movements.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving you a massage. You're stressed and I can feel all your knots." She swats away Jane's hands before returning to her massage. "I want you to feel better okay? This could help you relax and maybe help you sleep. And I want you to forgive me."

"This is about you trying to win my forgiveness?" Jane asks somewhat angry.

"No. I'm just trying to make you feel better. Stop questioning it and just relax please. I don't like it when something is wrong with you." Maura begins working Jane's back harder.

Jane finally gives in and lets Maura continue.

_And here I thought this couldn't get any worse. Now she is massaging me. What the hell am I suppose to do now. I hate this. I hate that fact that this feels so good. God she feels so good._

Maura hits a particularly weak spot and Jane has to stop herself from moaning. She tenses up after she realizes and shrugs Maura's hands off her shoulders.

"Okay okay. That's enough. Thank you." Jane says turning to face Maura so she can't keep going. "Look I am actually tired now so I think I'm going to head to bed." Jane says hoping Maura takes her cue to leave.

"Okay. Do you want me to stay the night?" Maura asks hoping Jane would say yes.

"I don't think that's a good idea, I haven't been sleeping well and I wouldn't want to interfere with your sleep." Jane lies.

"You wouldn't interfere and who knows maybe I could help you sleep." Maura shrugs hoping to convince Jane otherwise.

"Look I don't think it's a good idea. Wouldn't your girlfriend mind?" Jane asks inwardly wanting to slap herself knowing it was yet another mistake.

"I don't know why you're acting like this. But nothing has changed with me. Dating Julia is just like dating any guy. She'd care just as much that we sleep in the same bed as they would. But she trusts me so she doesn't mind. So if this is you feeling uncomfortable with me being with a girl so now you don't want to be around me then you should just tell me because that would be better than brushing me off." Maura counters angrily.

_Shit. _Jane thinks. _Okay just fix this and get her to leave._

"Maura it's really not that. I'm sorry I said that, it was stupid of me. I love you and I don't care that Julia is a woman. I just don't feel like having company in my bed tonight okay. Can you please just understand and respect that?"

Maura nods though hurt is still evident in her eyes.

_This night is just a royal fuck up. All I keep doing is hurting her feelings. And she thinks I care that she is with a woman? Damn why are you so blind Maura? I want to be that woman! And I'm not and now you're suffocating me. _Deciding she'd rather spare Maura's feelings than her own, Jane pulls her into a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry for how I've been acting. I will try and be a little better okay? I think I just need some sleep." She says to Maura who nods her head while still in Jane's hold.

"Thanks for dinner, the beer and the massage and everything. I really am tired and I'm going to go to sleep now so please go home and relax and don't worry about me." Jane kisses Maura's temple, her lips lingering a little longer than they normally should, before releasing her.

Maura watches as Jane walks towards her room and sighs to herself. She really wanted to be in her bed tonight. She gathers her things and leaves Jane's apartment feeling heavier than she has felt all week.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: The feedback I received for the last chapter was just amazing. Thank you so much guys. It really inspired me to write so I've written quite a bit lately so you will be getting another chapter soon. The previous was my favorite chapter so far so I'm really glad it got all this feedback. Also I'm happy a few people have been saying poor Maura because she really is a poor, naive soul. Anyways enjoy this chapter and review if you please. Also check out my tumblr if you'd like. I'd love to get some questions from readers or something.**

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Surprisingly Jane was overcome with sleep as soon as she hit her sheets that night. She awoke to her alarm refreshed and wide awake, another shock seeing as she was anything but a morning person. It was something she could only attribute to Maura's ability to get her to relax. It was both a wonderful thing and an infuriating thing. On the one hand Jane had gotten a full night's rest thanks to the honey blonde doctor. But on the other hand it was ultimately her fault Jane wasn't sleeping to begin with. And since Maura wasn't hers, she would not be here tonight to repeat her calming actions.

Jane readied herself for work, donning a pair of slacks, a v-neck t-shirt and a blazer, she attached her badge and her gun to her belt, grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

Arriving at the station earlier than most days (excluding the days when the always early to rise doctor stayed the night and forced her to eat breakfast) she decided to stop off in the café first and grab breakfast. Of course she would have to deal with her mother but after her restful night of sleep she was sure she could deal with her today.

"Good morning Janie." Her mother greets before eying her daughter questioningly. "Last night must have been some night if you're coming in this early without Maura. Who is the lucky guy that's got you smiling like that?" Angela Rizzoli asks.

Jane hadn't even realized she had been smiling and it immediately turned into her trademark scowl after her mother pointed it out. "No one Ma!" She declared. "I just got a full night's rest for the first time in a few days and I'm in a pretty good mood, one you've singlehandedly managed to ruin." _What was I thinking coming here, like anything could make my nosey mother more bearable. Maura could be massaging me, hell kissing me right now and my mother would still manage to ruin the good mood it brought. Shit. Why did I think about that. Now I can't get those lips out of my head._ Her thoughts were thankfully interrupted by her mother's voice.

"I don't get why you can't appreciate the relationship I try to have with you Jane. I'm just trying to be a caring mother finding out what or who is making my baby look so happy." Angela whines putting on her all too famous guilt trip.

"No you are being nosey, not caring." Jane retorts. "You're just hoping I've met a guy that you can marry me off to in hopes of making you grandchildren. Anyways I came here for pancakes not to be questioned about my personal life."

"Fine I will make you your pancakes." Angela remarks turning to the kitchen.

"I hope you make them with whole wheat rather than flour Angela. If Jane is going to insist eating so poorly then maybe you could at least make it a little healthier for her." Maura comments while walking into the café. "Good morning Jane. You look well rested. I'm glad to see you look better, but you really should improve your diet."

"There is nothing wrong with my diet. Pancakes are a perfectly normal breakfast staple and it's better than going without breakfast like I usually do." Jane says somewhat grumpy.

"Okay." Maura relents. "So how did you sleep last night? Did the massage help?"

At hearing this, Angela quarks up her eyebrows interested and begins to eavesdrop.

"I slept fine, thank you." Jane sighs. _Great this is just adding fuel to her fire .Knowing she has this effect and being the caring person she is, she is going to try and come over every time I'm feeling stressed and massage me. I can't handle that again. I may combust._

"That's great to hear. If you have trouble sleeping again will you tell me so I can help?"

"Yeah sure Maura." Jane lies waving her hands at the doctor. Deflated, she rests her head flat on her hand held up by her elbow on the table. _Day ruined already. I have to get out of here. _"Mom can you hurry please I want to get in early and start making some calls." Jane yells to her mom getting angry.

"Okay. Here Janie." Angela sets her pancakes in front of her. "Anything for you Maura?"

"No thank you. I just came in to talk to Jane." Maura asserts.

_Oh God she wants to talk to me. I need to go! But it will be suspicious if I leave without eating. _She begins shoveling her pancakes into her mouth in a rush.

"I see. So what is this about a massage?" Angela asks with her interest piqued.

"Reawy ma? Di' I no' jus' tew you abou' bein' nosey jus' a secon a'o." Jane states while trying to eat her pancakes as fast as humanly possible.

"Jane don't talk with your mouth full." Maura and Angela scold at the same time.

Jane shakes her head angrily and swallows. "Just what I need. Two moms."

Maura looks at her unamused before returning to the conversation.

"Anyways Angela it was nothing. Jane has been having trouble sleeping and massages have been proven to relax the body and the brain so I figured I could help Jane relax so she could sleep. And it seems to have worked." Maura states proudly.

"I see." Angela draws out almost questioningly while looking at her daughter with a raised and knowing eyebrow.

_Why is she looking at me like that. Ugh I really need to get out of here. _"Okay. I'm gonna go. Lots to do today." Jane quickly grabs her stuff and rushes out ignoring Maura calling out to her saying they need to talk.

Maura looks down at her plate and sighs.

Angela takes a seat next to Maura and pats her on the thigh. "What's going on with you and her? I haven't seen her around the house in a week. Is everything okay between you two?" She asks.

"Yeah I think so." Maura sighs.

"Tell me what's going on." She pushes

"I think Jane is mad at me and she won't tell me why."

Angela tuts and pats Maura's thigh one more time before standing. "My Janie has always been stubborn. Give her some time. She won't stay mad for long."

"I wish she wasn't mad at all." Maura states sadly. "I have no idea what I did wrong but I hate having her upset with me."

"Like I said. Just give her time." Angela advises knowingly.

* * *

Walking into the office Jane sees Frost already at his desk on the phone nodding and agreeing to whoever is on the other line. He hangs up and looks to Jane.

"That was Major Jason Novak. He says the army has allowed him a temporary leave of absence to come and speak with us. He is leaving for a flight in tomorrow morning."

"Great so we should drive to Worcester and get into contact with her family in the meantime." Jane replies.

"No you will not. Just figure out something else you can do until then." Korsak reprimands.

"We can't waste time Korsak. They're obviously hiding something if they're ignoring our calls." Jane says angrily.

"I don't care. If anything that is more of reason to see if Novak knows anything about them before you confront them. Call them a few more times and see if they answer. Also we got the vic's address so go check that out and see if there is anything there. And then go see Maura and see if she has a COD." Korsak orders.

Jane sighs dejectedly. She picks up her phone and proceeds to call the family multiple times over the next hour.

"All right. They are still not answering. This is bullshit! Let's go check out her apartment Frost." She states grabbing her gun and blazer and heading out the door, Frost in tow.

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**A/N 2: You guys have been so great I'm going to give you some teasers on what is to come in the next few chapters though you may not like it so much. Frost is going to be a good friend, Everyone's going to meet Julia officially and have some views about her. And Jane is going to change her mind about something.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This was originally two chapters but I figured they work better together. Unfortunately I'm really sick so I haven't been writing much lately and I don't think I will be for the next couple of days because I can barely think let alone write. I do have another chapter written and even though I like to keep a chapter or two ahead I may have to give it to you guys before I feel better to write the chapter ahead of it. So my updating may slow down a bit over the next week. The next chapter is when we meet Julia which makes me deeply sorry for the I hate Julia fan club but it has to be done.**

**Anyways enjoy this chapter and review if you please.  
**

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Frost breaks into the door of the apartment and he and Jane step in guns held up and begin to check around the apartment.

"Clear" each of them say from their respective positions in the house before meeting back in the living room.

Jane looks around eying the apartment and notices that everything is packed away in boxes.

"She was moving." Frost points out.

"Yeah. And from the looks of the packing she was probably leaving the day she was murdered." She continues to look around to try and determine if there was any evidence of where she was going. When she finds nothing, she begins to wonder if it wasn't an accident that there was no trace of where she was heading. "I wonder if she was trying to get away from something." Jane questions.

"Hmm. Maybe the same people she tried to get away from by joining the army." Frost adds.

"So why did she even come back? If she knew she was in danger, why not just stay in the military and continue hiding. Become a career soldier. She'd always be safe living on a base."

"Maybe that's not what she wanted. Maybe she figured she could come back and move somewhere else and go to college or something. Maybe the military was just temporary and she thought it would get the heat off of her for a while." He inquires.

"Let's go Frost. I can't be in here anymore." Jane groans frustratingly

When they get back to the car she puts her head on the steering wheel, sighs and closes her eyes.

"Do you want to talk?" Frost asks clearly worried.

"No." Jane grunts back.

They sit in silence before Jane finally relents.

"I can't handle all this right now." She sighs.

"You know how I feel about when we have soldiers in our case files. And I just feel awful for this girl. Whoever killed her was a sick son of a bitch. She was trying to turn her life around from the looks of all this. She was young and abused and instead of letting it affect her negatively, she tried to get away from it and better herself and her life. And look what happened. Someone killed her!"

"We WILL get who did this Jane. I promise you. Let's go see Maura and she can tell us how she died and maybe that will send us in the right direction." Frost advises.

Jane just groans in response and begins hitting her head gently against the wheel.

"Okay. There is something else?" Frost questions.

"Maura" is all Jane says in response.

"Did something else happen between you guys?" Frost asks.

"No…yes." Jane sighs. "Well not that she knows of."

"You got to give me a little more than that." Frost pushes.

"She came over and made my favorite food and like I don't know did a bunch of things that I'd expect from someone I was in a relationship with. It just made me freak out because it's like she is throwing what I can't have in my face and she doesn't even realize it. And I think I made her feel bad."

"Did you tell her this?"

"What?" Jane practically yells. "Of course I didn't. I can't tell her that."

"Well maybe you should just tell her to back off a little. That it's making you uncomfortable." Frost suggests.

"But that will just cause a problem. She will think I'm uncomfortable because of her new interest in women and that I will just be scared that she will try to come on to me. Which is wrong, because all I want is for her to come on to me." She blurts before gasping and covering her mouth.

Frost laughs and shakes his head at her comment.

"It's not funny and I totally didn't mean to say that."

"Yeah you did. But it's okay because I know what you mean. Maybe you should just tell her how you feel Jane."

"I can't Frost. You haven't seen Julia! She is perfect. She looks like a freaking super model. And even if she didn't she is educated. A lawyer. No a freaking A.D.A. well on her way to becoming Boston's youngest D.A. Trust me I've looked her up. She's a Yale grad from a family lineage of lawyers with old money. And to top it all off instead of becoming a big business lawyer like the rest of her family and working at their law firm she works as a public servant. She is like Maura's soul mate. Both of them come from money but choose to work for the public. They're like one in the same. And I'm the opposite. I need this job to survive. I'm nothing but a low class civil servant. I can't give her what she wants or needs. Julia can!" Jane rants out.

"You need to stop saying that! Jane you're a wonderful person. You have so many amazing qualities. I've seen you do your job and you're better at it than anyone. You know when to be tough to perps and when to be caring to victims and their families. I know how you got that girl Natalie a full ride to BCU after what she went through. Maura told me and you know what, I'd never seen so much adoration in her eyes as she told me it. You may not want to believe this but Maura doesn't care about money or class establishment. She loves you and your family. She may be with Julia but she wants to be with you." Frost argues back angrily.

"You don't know-"

"No. Don't even say anything. I don't want to hear it. I'm sick of you acting like you need pity. Because this isn't what Jane Rizzoli does. She doesn't want pity. It's why you wouldn't let Korsak be your partner again after Hoyt. Stop sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. You are a real prize Jane. Maura looks up to you. She respects you. She knows you'd do anything to protect her, because you do. You've saved her life so many times. You couldn't kill Hoyt after he kidnapped you for the second time but once he put Maura in danger you did. That's when I knew you loved her Jane. You couldn't kill him to stop him from being able to hurt you again but you couldn't bear the risk of him ever hurting Maura again. You love her and you'd do anything for her and that's all she needs. So you need to stop putting yourself down and go after what's yours. I see the way she looks at you. I know she loves you just as much as you love her. But you both are too scared to do anything about it." Frost almost yells at the detective.

"I can't." Jane sighs. "Frost I can't do that to her. Because what if you're wrong? And what if she loves Julia? You may think she loves me, and even if she does, Julia is better for her than me. And I can't put our friendship at risk."

"You're already putting it at risk by being an ass to her. You can't even act like everything is okay around her because you're not okay. It's not healthy for you and it's not fair for you or Maura."

"Whatever. Look I'm done with this conversation. She is happy with Julia. I will get over it and I will find someone else. End of story. So let's get back to the station and see Maura about our victim's death." Jane says resolutely.

Frost scoffs and shakes his head. "You are the most stubborn person I've ever met Jane Rizzoli." He mumbles under his breath. Jane hears it but decides to ignore it.

* * *

Once they get back to the station they head down to the morgue. Maura is finishing sewing up the Y-incision as they walk in.

"Hey doc." Frost calls out not moving any closer to the body until it's covered.

Jane rolls her eyes and walks up to the body. She looks down at the victim and sighs.

Maura seeing Jane's expression ties of the last suture and covers up the body. "Autopsy is all done. Unfortunately whoever did this was smart not to leave any evidence. She has defensive wounds but no DNA under her nails. I did however find cause of death and it is quite interesting."

Frost moves closer now that the body is covered.

"Well are you going to tell us Maura?" Jane asks.

"Yes. Right. She had been beaten before her death. There were several broken ribs and a punctured lung as a result."

"So she died from a punctured lung?" Frost asks.

"No. She also suffered from a blow to the head."

"So she died from a head injury?" Frost asks again.

"No." Maura says again.

"Come on Maura. Just tell us how she died." Jane demands.

"It seems she was beaten, they punched and kicked her pretty hard. She must have fallen to the ground and the head injury and broken ribs were due to kicks rather than punches. While on the ground her attacker must have sat on her puncturing her lung with her ribs as a result and grabbed her by the neck, choking her until they broke her neck ultimately killing her."

"Have you found anything we can go on? Any evidence of where she might have been killed or anything weird?" Jane asks pleadingly.

"No." Maura sighs out. "I checked her stomach contents to see if they could tell us where she had been but it contained only normal food she most likely had from home. I looked for traces of any outside debris but all I found was asphalt from where we found her body. There were no fibers from the car she was in so I would say it most likely had leather seats. And there were no prints or hairs from her murderer."

"Fuck." Jane growls before exiting the morgue hastily and heading upstairs without saying another word.

"She is taking this hard isn't she?" Maura asks worriedly.

"Yeah." Frost sighs. "You know how she feels about soldiers."

"Has Jane said anything about me? Or has she said anything is wrong?"

"I can't really say Maura. All I can tell you is you need to talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Force her to do the same. Just sit down and actually talk with each other." Frost shrugs.

"Tell her how I feel? Why do we need to talk? What's wrong with her?" Maura asks.

"Oh my God. You guys are both so hardheaded. Maura I can't tell you what you need to figure out yourself. Trust me. I already tried that with Jane and it didn't work out so well. Just do what I said and force her to talk to you."

"Okay. Are you guys heading to the Robber tonight?" Maura asks.

"Probably. I'm going to try and get Jane out tonight so she can stop moping."

"And you're still not going to tell me what she is moping about?" Maura pushes.

"Nope." Frost says as he heads back upstairs.

_These two need help but I honestly can't deal with intervening any more. Jane and Maura are helpless. But it won't go on like this forever. One of them is going to break and they will figure it out themselves._

Frost thinks as he heads into the office and sees Jane with her head down on her desk. "Come on partner. There isn't anything left for us to do until we question Novak. Let's head out to the Robber and get some drinks."

"Fine." Jane relents easily.

"Really? No prodding? You're just going to go no questions asked?" Frost questions.

"I know you're not going to let me say no and I need a beer so why not?" Jane says. "Korsak you coming?"

"Yeah. I'll meet you guys there. I've got some things I need to finish up." Korsak replies.

"He has to watch some new viral cat videos." Frost whispers to Jane getting a haughty laugh from the detective as they walk out of the office.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So I figured I'd give this to you guys even though I haven't been writing. Unfortunately despite no longer having a fever I've managed to still get sicker. I'm going to the doctor later but antibiotics will only work so quick so I'm going to be sleeping rather than writing. But this is the longest chapter yet so hopefully it will tide you over till I can get back to it. I'm pretty sure chapters are going to be getting a bit longer from now on so they may not be as quick as in the past.**

**I don't really know what to think of this chapter. There are some parts I'm really happy about and some parts I really considered cutting. But you decide how you like it for yourselves. Thanks again for reading and reviewing and alerting. You all make me so happy. And thanks for the people wishing for me to get better. You guys are so sweet and I'm really trying to. Anyways enjoy and review if you please.  
**

* * *

They've been sitting at the Robber for a few hours and Jane actually feels pretty relaxed. Korsak showed up an hour after Frost and her got there and they'd been sharing laughs for a while.

Korsak keeps peering over Jane like he's looking for someone and after the seventh time Jane finally questions him about it.

"Are you expecting someone Korsak?"

"Hmmm?" He asks feigning ignorance.

"You keep looking over my shoulder like you're waiting for someone to walk through the door." She points out.

" Yeah don't kill me but I invited your mom out." Korsak says.

"You what?" This is my time to get away from stress, have a beer and relax and you invite her?"

"Korsak's trying to get it in with your mom Jane how do you feel about having a new daddy?" Frost asks jokingly. "Ow" he hollers after Jane punches him hard in the shoulder and Korsak kicks his shin from under the table.

"I'm not old enough to be her father." He states vehemently.

"Really? That's what you deny? Not that you're trying to get with my mother but that you're not old enough to be my father?"

"Well I'm not trying to 'get at' her as Frost so gently put it. But yes I do have an interest in your mother. She's a nice lady." He shrugs.

"Yeah she is a nice lady. And I'd rather not see her become your fifth divorce." Jane says angrily.

"Hey." Korsak shouts.

"That was just in poor taste." Frost chastises.

"Yeah you know what else is poor taste? My foot down Korsak's throat if he hurts my mother."

"Okay Jane I get it. I won't do anything to hurt your mother. But she likes me too and you can't stop her from seeing new people. "

"Fine. I will spare the 'if you hurt her I hurt you speech'. And I guess you're better than some random guy I don't know. But I mean it Korsak." Jane threatens.

"Okay okay. I get it." He says throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "So let's talk about the new beau Dr. Isles is planning for us to meet tonight." Korsak says raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"What?" Jane says nearly spitting out her beer.

"She came by the office a few minutes after you guys left. Said she wanted to ask you guys if it was cool if she brought someone by the Robber that she wanted us all to meet. I told her you guys wouldn't mind. I can only assume it's a new boyfriend."

Jane freaks out and begins trying to push Frost out of the booth. "I have to go. I just remembered there is something I need to do." She states but it's too late. Maura walks in with Julia in tow and walks up to the table.

Frost looks at Jane apologetically. Before looking back at Julia. His eyes almost bug out of his head when he sees what she looks like. He can't believe what he is looking at.

"Hi everyone." Maura says energetically. She pulls a chair up to the table for Julia to sit and then sits next to Korsak.

Korsak looks at Julia questioningly and then raises an eyebrow to Jane who just looks down at the table.

"Hi Maura." Frost says hesitantly. "Who's your friend?"

Maura clears her throat. "Umm yes this is someone I thought you guys should meet. This is Julia Fields. She's one of our new A.D.A.s" She says grabbing her hand. "She is also my girlfriend."

Frost puts a comforting hand on Jane's knee noticing her wince at Maura's words while she takes a swig of her beer.

"Really now?" Korsak asks in a shocked manner. "I had no idea you went that way Maura or I'd have thought for sure you and Janie here would be gettin' hitched already." He jokes not caring to realize its poor taste.

Frost kicks Korsak under the table.

"Ow. Frost, what'd you do that for?" He asks rubbing his shin.

"Oh I'm sorry. My foot slipped." He amends.

The whole table eyes him questioningly except Jane who remains stoic and quiet staring at her beer.

"Anyways." Korsak interrupts the silence. "How did this happen?" He questions waving between Maura and Julia.

"Maura came by my office to give me her medical report on a case a few weeks ago. When she introduced herself as Maura Isles, I recognized who she was immediately. Our families socialize a lot. It's a surprise I hadn't met her before. I thought she was quite lovely so I asked her if she wanted to go out with me sometime." Julia explains.

"Which at first I politely declined." Maura explains.

"Oh playing hard to get there were we Maura?" Korsak questions jokingly.

"No." Maura states. "I have rules against dating people I work with." She glances at Jane while she says this who she notices hasn't said a word and isn't even looking up.

"But I explained to her that we barely work together and that our personal relationship wouldn't affect our professional one. I wore her down and she finally relented and here we are." Julia says proudly winking at Maura who blushes in return.

The three of them continue talking as Frost leans into Jane with his hand still comfortingly squeezing her knee. "How are you doing?" He whispers to her from the corner of his mouth.

"Not good. Can you let me out? I need some air." Jane replies.

"Sure." He says while getting up.

"If you'll excuse me. I will be back in a few minutes." Jane says sadly. "It's nice to meet you formally." she says while shaking Julia's hand before heading out the front door. She steps into the alley way and leans against the wall.

Angela finally makes it to the Robber and walks up to the group noticing a new face. She takes a seat next to Frost.

"Hi everyone. Hello Vince." She says as he clears his throat at her singling him out before replying a gruff hello in return.

"May I ask who this lovely woman is sitting with us?" Angela asks.

"Yes Angela. This is my girlfriend Julia Fields. She is an A.D.A. who works with our unit of BPD. Julia this is Jane's mother Angela. She lives with me in my guesthouse so you guys will be seeing a bit of each other." Maura introduces.

Startled momentarily by the news that Maura is dating a woman, Angela shakes her head then extends her hand. "Nice to meet you Julia." She says.

"Likewise." Julia smiles. "You're daughter is lovely. She really is one of Boston's finest from what I hear." She compliments.

"Why thank you. Even if she is good at what she does, it's still not easy having you're only daughter be a detective." Angela says in return. "By the way. Where is my Janie?" She questions.

"She went outside." Frost says.

"I'll go and find her." She says getting up and heading outside.

"Well we should get going. I just wanted you guys to meet Julia. We have dinner plans so we will head off. I'm glad you guys took this so well. I will see you tomorrow." Maura says as she grabs Julia's hand and they head out.

"Okay tell me you noticed that?" Frost asks Korsak after Maura leaves.

"Notice what?" He responds.

"Korsak! Julia? She doesn't remind you of someone?"

"Obviously. I'm a detective. It doesn't take a genius to notice how much she looks like Jane. If her lips were a little thinner and she was a little less filled out she could be Jane's clone."

"She almost even sounds like her!" Frost says. "They could be twins. You don't find that weird?"

"Of course it's weird. Why is Maura dating a woman who looks just like Jane?" Korsak asks.

"I think Maura did it subconsciously." He muses. "She can't have Jane so she went with Julia."

"But that's insane. Anyone with eyes can tell Jane is crazy about Maura."

Frost's jaw drops. "You knew?"

"You didn't think you were a better detective did you Frost?" Korsak laughs. "I knew after Jane beat the hell out of Leahy after he attacked Maura. I should have known after I'd seen her let Maura touch her hands. She doesn't let anyone touch her hands." He replies truthfully.

"And you didn't say anything?" Frost asks angrily.

"I didn't think she'd realized it yet that she was in love with her. I mean surely she'd have done something about it if she knew. I mean it's obvious Maura feels the same way, especially now with the way Julia looks."Korsak shrugs.

"Jane knows how she feels about Maura. But she is afraid Maura doesn't feel the same way and now she feels like she is no match compared to Julia."

"I can see why. She is like Jane 2.0 if you think about it." Korsak laughs until Frost kicks him again under the table. "Ow. Dammit! Will you stop doing that?" He demands.

"Only if you stop being an ass Korsak." Frost yells. "What are we going to do about them?"

"Nothing."

Frost shakes his head angrily. "What do you mean nothing? They need help."

"You're right. They do. They need certified professional help." Korsak laughs again moving his legs before Frost can kick him again. "Look there is nothing we can do. We can't force them to see what's right in front of them. If we could they would have seen it already. They're both in denial real bad. Jane needs to realize on her own that she is good enough for Maura. Telling her isn't enough, especially now that there is someone in competition with her. She has to believe it herself and we can't make her do that. So give her time and if they're meant to be they will work it out."

"Surely you can't believe that?" Frost questions disbelievingly.

"The hell I can't. We've already determined I'm old right? Well I've seen this before and this is the only way it will work. We can't force them together. So just leave it be for now and if it gets out of hand then we will intervene. Got it?"

"Fine." Frost groans.

"Look the most we can do is drop hints that Jane is better than Julia and hope she begins to realize that she is. I know you want to just say Maura, Jane likes you and vice versa but it just won't work like that. They're both scared of rejection or ruining their friendship either way. They need to sort out what they want on their own." Korsak explains.

"Okay. I understand." Frost surrenders.

At the end of their conversation Frankie walks up with a beer and takes a seat where Julia was previously sitting. "So. I just met Maura's girlfriend on their way out." He says suggestively.

"Yeah? What'd you think of her? We're having a poll." Frost asks.

"Eh. She's pretty but she's not Jane." He says calmly.

"What do you mean by that?" Korsak questions.

"Oh come on. I just passed my detectives exam and I can tell they have something going on. Besides Jane's my sister. I know her better than all of you. Maura is hers, why do you think I never went for the doc. Anyone can see the eye-sex those two have whenever they're around each other." Frankie takes a swig of his beer and almost spits it out as Korsak gives him a rather hard pat on the back.

"You just may be a good detective yet." Korsak praises.

"Yeah yeah. So where are Ma and Jane anyways?"

"Jane went outside and your mother followed her out about 15 minutes ago." Frost informs him. "I can't believe you knew too and didn't do anything about it."

"I grew up with Angela Rizzoli nosey extraordinaire. I've learned not to meddle in the lives of my family. Especially when it comes to Jane. I figured if she needed help she'd have come to me. But if Ma is with Jane maybe I should go see what's up with them and rescue Jane." Frankie says as he tries to get up until Frost grabs his arm and shakes his head.

"No. I think you should leave them alone and let them talk about whatever it is they're talking about. Angela may be what Jane needs right now." Frost suggests.

"Okay." He drawls before taking another pull of his beer. "So are we going to do anything about Maura and Jane? I mean I figured Jane would work it out but now that there's another woman in the picture maybe we should help."

"Nope. We've decided a hands off approach is for the best." Frost growls while eying Korsak angrily.

"Got it. Hands off. I think that's best too you know. Jane isn't one for having people in her business, like I said, Ma has done enough meddling in our lives to begin with." He says as he continues to drink his beer.

Frost and Korsak nod in response and the three of them begin talking about sports instead.

* * *

After walking out of the bar Angela finds Jane around the corner in the alley with her head in her hands.

"You're just going to sit out here and mope Janie?" She asks startling the detective.

"Not now Ma." Jane barks.

"No. Now is the perfect time. I never thought my Jane would give up that easily on someone she loves."

"What?" Jane asks surprised.

"Oh come on Jane. I know how you feel about Dr. Isles and I know you're out here because you can't bear to see her with another woman so why aren't you doing something about it?"

"Ma I don't-"

"I don't care if you don't want to admit it to me. But just so you know I don't care about your sexuality Jane. You love who you love and I've known you loved Maura for quite some time. It's why I offered to spy for you when it came to Ian." She shrugs.

"If you knew how I felt about Maura why did you always try to set me up with a bunch of different guys all the time?" She asks disbelievingly.

"I figured one day you'd get fed up and just admit it to me to get me to let it go. I didn't want to force you to tell me. But I couldn't sit idly by while you let that woman have what's yours."

"Maura isn't mine Ma, she isn't an object." Jane replies angrily.

"Look at what you're saying. You're clearly angry that she chose another woman over you but you still protect her honor. Why aren't you doing something about this?"

"She didn't choose anyone over me. Maura has no idea how I feel and I'd prefer to keep it that way." Jane confessed sadly.

"Why?" Angela asks disbelievingly.

When Jane doesn't respond and just looks down she realizes this is something that is going to require tough love. She grabs Jane's shoulders and forces Jane to look her in the eye.

"You look at me while I say this to you. You and Maura are meant for each other. I've already accepted her into this family as a second daughter because I knew one day she would join this family. I see how you two are around each other. You're inseparable and you'd do anything to protect her. You may think Julia is a better match but you're just as smart and talented and beautiful. And just because we don't come from money is not a reason to give up on Maura. Because she doesn't care about that. She took me in because she cares about you and our family. That's what she cares about. And you give her what Julia never will. A family who cares, and you and your love and devotion to her, and ultimately her safety because you will do anything to make sure Maura is protected. So stop moping and do something about it, because you're not happy and Maura may seem happy but Julia is clearly just a replacement Jane. And a shotty one at that because no one compares to you." Angela rants panting from breathlessness after finishing.

"Okay Ma." Jane sighs. "Just let me think about it okay. Let me think about what to do because I don't just want to blindside Maura with this."

"All I ask is you try before it's too late Jane." Angela pulls her daughter into a hug. "I know this is a bit presumptuous but Maura will make a beautiful bride. I can't wait until she is officially a part of this family." She says into the embrace.

Jane releases her before replying. "Really Ma? Already with the wedding? I haven't even done anything yet and you don't know what will happen if I do."

"Oh I know what the end result will be. And I expect grandkids." She winks.

"Come on Ma." She yells in response.

Angela just laughs. "We've been out here for about 20 minutes. We should head back in so I can talk to Vince."

Jane just groans at the comment and follows her mother inside. She sits back next to Frost while Angela sits next to Korsak, ignoring the looks Frankie gives her as a result.

"Where did Maura and Julia go?" Angela asks.

"She went out with her new lady friend on a date." Korsak scoffs.

Frost noticing Jane tense at those words leans into her and asks if she is alright. Jane nods that she is fine while the group continues their conversations.

"You said that kind of bitterly Korsak. Something you don't like about Maura's girl." Frankie asks knowing he's setting him up to try to make Jane feel better.

"Yeah have you talked to her? She brags so much. Maura is so humble but Julia just started talking about their families and what not. And she was going on about her charity work. It's not charity if you do it to make yourself look good. You guys heard her right? She seemed kind of pretentious didn't she?" He asks somewhat rehearsed.

"Oh. Ummm we weren't really listening to the conversation you were having with her." Jane says sadly.

"Right. Well Maura could do so much better," Korsak asserted looking directly towards Jane as he said it.

Frost clears his throat and then changes the subject by asking Angela about her day. After a while Jane decides she should go home. She moves to get up and say goodbye when Frankie grabs her and hugs her.

"You should get your girl Jane, before it's too late." He advises in a whisper. She mumbles a thank you in return before saying her goodbyes and heading home.

* * *

Jane returns home and heads straight to bed after walking Jo and getting ready to sleep.

Lying in bed she can't stop herself from thinking like all the nights before. She is sure tonight she isn't getting any sleep again.

_Everyone knows how I feel about Maura except her? Why was Frost the only one to say something before Julia? If I had enough of them to encourage me I probably would have made a move. Who am I kidding I probably wouldn't. For one so brave, I am such a coward sometimes._

_Could I really be enough for Maura though? I work for the public. But so does Julia. But Julia was born from wealthy. But Maura doesn't care about that. She told me that after the Fairfield murder. And she was attracted to Giovanni who she said was like me. Could Maura actually be interested?_

_Maybe I am good enough then. Maybe I can convince her that I'm better than Julia. But how? I have to win Maura's heart before her relationship goes any further with Julia._

_Do you think she has gone pretty far with her though? Has she-_

_No Jane! Don't think about that. Just focus on winning Maura's heart from Julia._

_I'm going to show Maura I'm good enough for her._

With her thoughts at rest and her plan to win Maura decided upon Jane manages to close her eyes and sleep on her own for the first time in five days.


	10. Chapter 10

__**A/N: I'm back. Still sick but antibiotics are working their magic. Updates aren't going to be every day any more because they're going to start being longer. Especially next update. But we are really getting into the thick of things before what everyone is waiting for finally happens. Thanks again for all the well wishers and reviewers and alerters. You guys are the reason I keep writing. You really motivate me. I'm sorry if the beginning is a tease ;)  
**

**Enjoy and review if you please.  
**

* * *

_Jane walks in the door from a hard day and smells the aroma of spaghetti. Following the scent into the kitchen she sees Maura at the stove preparing dinner. She walks up to the honey blonde and slips her arms around her waist and places chaste kisses up and down her neck._

"_Hi honey. I'm making spaghetti for you tonight. Do you want to shower while I finish this?" Maura asks._

_Jane pulls Maura's ear between her teeth and sucks. She turns her around and kisses her hard._

"_Someone is frisky today." Maura laughs before being cut off by Jane's lips again._

"_I'm always frisky around you baby." She growls as she continues to kiss up and down Maura's jaw and neck. She grabs Maura's ass and lifts her onto the nearby counter and continues her attack on her neck._

"_Jane we can't do this right now. I'm cooking." Maura pants out._

"_Turn it off and finish later." She says in between kissing and sucking Maura's neck._

"_Let's eat first then we can finish this in the bedroom." She stands up and tries to push Jane away and continue cooking but Jane begins sucking on Maura's pulse point causing her legs to go weak and she realizes this is an argument she is not going to win. Jane stops her from falling, turns off the stove and pulls Maura towards the bedroom._

"_You're all I want to eat right now." She growls sexily as she leads the laughing blonde into the bedroom._

* * *

Jane awakes panting and sweating in her empty bed. She checks the time and realizes it's 5 A.M.

_I can't even stay asleep without thinking about her. Oh my god I just had a sex dream about Maura! This is getting too out of hand. I can't dream of her like this. And there is no way I'm getting back to sleep. Leave it to Maura to make me sexually frustrated when she isn't even do anything. I need to burn off this energy._

She gets up and changes into a tank top and shorts and pulls on a pair of running shoes. She heads out the door and begins an early morning run.

_What am I doing? I hate running. Where am I even going?_

Jane continues running wherever her body takes her as she listens to her Ipod. She doesn't even realize that she is running towards Maura's house. When one of her headphones falls out of her ear, she stops paying attention and tries to put the bud back into her ear. She stops when she feels herself hit another body as she rounds the corner.

"I'm so sorry." She mumbles as she looks at the woman she just knocked to the ground. _You've got to be kidding me. Of all the people to run into right now, I run into Julia. Literally!_

"Jane?" Julia asks taking the hand Jane extends to help her up.

"Yeah. How are you?" She asks feigning interest.

"Good. I just left Maura's and I wanted to get a run in before work. I've gotta keep my training up for the BPD victim's 5k on Sunday. You're doing it right?"

_She just left Maura's house? Shit how did I end up on Maura's street? Oh god she spent the night. That can only mean one thing. They-_

"Jane?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah sorry what were you saying." She asks after Julia breaks her from her thoughts.

"I asked if you were doing the BPD 5k." She repeats.

"Oh yeah. I am. Just getting some running in to keep my training up also. I hate running but it clears my head and for some reason I've managed the best time every year since I've been doing it." Jane says proudly.

Julia nods. "Mhm." She hums challengingly. "Well you might have a little competition this year Rizzoli." She laughs.

"We'll just have to wait till Sunday now won't we?" She asks crossing her arms defensively. "Since when do A.D.A.s run in the 5k anyways?"

"They don't but I figured I'd do my part to help."

_Of course. Little miss perfect has to get in on every charity event she can._

"I see. Well I'm going to get back to it. Great seeing you." Jane says somewhat bitterly while turning around and heading back in the direction of her apartment but stops when Julia calls out to her.

"Wait Jane."

She turns back to Julia. "What do you need?" She asks trying not to sounds annoyed.

"I was wondering if you'd like to hang out some time. Maybe go get a beer together and get to know each other. You're Maura's best friend so I'd like to be your friend too." She asks.

_Are you kidding me? The last thing I want to do is hang around my competition. _

_Do it for Maura. Be the bigger man!_

_Fuck!_

"Um sure. I don't have my card on me though." She explains.

"I'll get your number from Maura if that's okay."

"Okay. See you around." Jane says as she takes off back towards her apartment.

When she arrives home she walks Jo and heads for a shower before work. As always her brain gets away from her as she washes her body under the stream of water.

_Julia is running in the 5k huh? Well I'm going to do whatever I can to beat her. Show Maura that little miss perfect isn't great at everything she does. She is just doing this to brag and I'm not giving her another thing to brag about. I will beat her time and I'll be one step closer to showing Maura I'm better for her._

_Ugh why does she have to seem so nice though? She wants to get to know me. Does she think things are getting serious with Maura?_

_Julia was leaving Maura's house which means she spent the night right? And Maura introduced her to everyone. What if I'm too late? What if Maura is really serious about Julia?_

_I can't ask her to choose between Julia and I. That isn't fair to any of us._

_All I can do is show Maura that I'm just as worthy as Julia. And whatever she decides from there is what will happen._

Jane readies herself for work and heads off to BPD. When she arrives Frost is waiting for her with a coffee.

"Sometimes I could just kiss you Frost." She smiles taking the coffee from him. "Thanks. Is Novak here yet?"

"Sitting in interrogation room 1 waiting for you as we speak." He replies.

"I hope he wasn't waiting long. You wanna come in with me on this one?" She asks while heading towards the room.

"Naw I'm going to keep trying to get a hold of the family and see if I can find any more information on Jessica and her family. We will get a lot more covered this way."

"Thanks. We'll swap intel when we're done."

He nods in response.

* * *

She walks into the room and sees Major Novak with his head in his hands. She takes a seat in the chair across from him which causes him to lift his head and she notices the sadness in his eyes.

"Major Novak, I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli. You spoke to my partner Detective Barry Frost on the phone about the murder of one of your squad members, Jessica Schuler."

"Um yes. Call me Jason please." He says throwing formalities out the window.

"Only if you call me Jane." She says as she shakes his hand. "Were you close with Jessica?"

"When you're in close quarters like we were, facing the dangers of war like we do, it's hard not to become close. We protect one another." He responds.

"I understand. So knowing that you guys were close. Did you know anything about her before she entered the military? How her home life was?"

"She didn't like to talk about her family. She only told me that they weren't a factor in her life since she was sixteen." He replies sadly.

"Is there anything at all you could tell us about her past then? Our M.E. found evidence of physical abuse that she estimates happened around the time right before she entered the army. Did she ever mention anything about an abusive boyfriend?"

"No. She told me she never had any relationships back home. She told me there was no one waiting for her back here. No one to come home to. It's why she was pretty reckless in the beginning." He says almost in tears.

Jane notices his demeanor and realizes that their relationship may be more than what it seemed. She takes his hand before continuing her questioning. "Jason I know this is hard. But if we want to find who did this you're going to have to tell us everything. Including the type of relationship you and Jessica had." She informs comfortingly while squeezing his hand in reassurance.

He looks down at his hand being covered by Jane's and nods. He wipes a few tears before finally speaking up. "Jessica and I were seeing each other secretly. It started about two years into her service with my squad. She got put into my unit about 4 years after joining. We quickly became friends after I saved her from her own recklessness. Like I said she was unconcerned for her own safety in the beginning. We started seeing each other on the down low because it was against the rules. At first she wanted to become a career soldier but I told her that's not the life I wanted for her. For us. She was supposed to finish her tour a month before me. I was doing my last before I was going to retire and come back."

"We went to Jessica's apartment. She was moving. Do you know where?"

He sniffles before nodding. "She was moving to New Haven with me. It's where I live. At first I couldn't convince her to come back. She said she wasn't sure it was a good idea. I told her to come back and pack up her stuff and move into my house and wait for me. I'd be done in a month and we could start our lives together. She finally gave in and came back after she finished her service."

"Do you know why she was so hesitant to come back?" She asks gripping his hand tighter.

"No." He cries. "I wish I hadn't forced her to come back. I wish she would have told me she was in danger. I loved her. I was going to ask her to marry me. We were going to be happy." He breaks down into tears.

Jane steps to the other side of the table and hugs him while he cries.

"I feel so stupid. I forced her to come back. Why didn't she just tell me she was in trouble?"

"Some people don't know how to ask for help. Especially when they're worried about how it will affect the ones they love. It's not your fault okay?" She says comfortingly before releasing him.

"Is there anything she told you about her past that can explain the abuse? She said she hasn't been in contact with her family since she was sixteen. Do you have any idea where she was between then and when she joined the army? Who she lived with?"

"No. She didn't like to talk about her past that much. The only thing she ever told me was that she had a crappy home life and that she didn't miss her family." He sighed finally quelling his tears.

"There is nothing she said that could be of any help to us?" She asks one last time hoping for even the smallest thing to go on.

"The only other thing she mentioned once was that she missed her best friend. That she had gotten her out of hard times. But she never told me her name. Just that she was there for her and I knew she wrote to her from time to time."

"Good. That can be of some help to us." She praises before taking his hand again. "We will find who did this okay?"

He nods wiping his tears one last time and standing ready to leave.

"Thank you so much for taking a leave to come in. You have been of so much help. I promise we will do what we can to get justice for Jessica. We will call you if we need you again or if we find anything."

"Thank you. I'm heading back to finish my tour tonight. She'd want me to come back and be safe even if it's without her. I trust you will find her murderer Jane." He says as he heads out of the office.

She steps out of the interrogation room and breathes a sigh of relief. It may not have been the holy grail of information but at least she knows a little bit more about the victim and she knows what she needs to do. She needs to find Jessica's friend and have a talk with her. But first she has to try and talk to Jessica's parents.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Well this chapter is quite long. I'm sorry if the case part isn't interesting to you. I kind of get bored writing it myself but I need it to segue into some things. I don't blame you for skipping it but it will be important later on. I know I said I wouldn't be updating daily but luckily I caught a case of insomnia and stayed up till 9 a.m. today. Not a good idea in the long run when it comes to sleep patterns but it gave you guys another chapter. This is another chapter I have some proud moments in it and some where I just wanted to scrap everything.**

**Please be gentle if you hate this chapter. It's not my best. But enjoy and review if you please.  
**

* * *

Jane walks over to Frost who just hung up his phone rather angrily. She takes a seat on the corner of his desk.

"So I'm going to assume her parents are still avoiding our calls." She inquires.

"Yes. I've been calling for the last thirty minutes. I tried to look them up in our data base but didn't find anything of use. They're normal people with everyday jobs, no criminal history and no complaints about them. Martha Schuler's a teacher and Gregory Schuler's a local librarian. I don't understand why they're dodging our calls."

"Maybe there is something not so normal about them. Major Novak said they kicked Jessica out when she was sixteen." She informs him

"There aren't any complaints about their parenting. No accusations of abuse or child neglect. Did he say why they kicked her out?" He asks.

"Said she didn't talk much about it. That's all she told him. That she hasn't talk to them since then."

"So I think it's time we pay them a visit and find out why they kicked her out." He suggests.

"Yup that's what I was thinking. We also need to find out what she did between getting kicked out and joining the army. Novak said something about Jessica having a best friend. Let's hope the parents can give us her name."

Jane and Frost begin packing up their things and readying themselves for their trip to Worcester when Korsak steps into the office. Jane decides it's best to inform him of their plans before leaving since he was so adamant about her not going before.

"We've spoken to Novak. He hasn't given us much to go on except the fact that Jessica's been estranged from her parents since she was sixteen. We need to question them about why and also find out who her best friend was because she may be able to fill in what Jessica was doing between the ages of sixteen and eighteen." She grabs her blazer and her keys and makes her way to the door stopping when Korsak replies.

"Alright. Be safe okay. I have a weird feeling about these parents. It takes 50 minutes tops to get to Worcester. Let me know when you get there and tell me how the chat with the parents goes."

"Sure thing dad." She drawls as she heads out with Frost

* * *

After they exit the building she gets in the car before asking Frost what's on her mind.

"So what's up with the way Korsak is acting?"

"Who knows with him? Maybe he is trying to be a protective fatherly figure since he is trying to get with your mom." He laughs.

Jane slaps him playfully before scowling seriously. "No one is getting with anyone."

"That's for sure." He jokes regretting it when Jane's face turns sad. "I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"No it's okay I get it." She says as she turns on the radio and continues to drive. They drive with only the sounds of the radio between them for about ten minutes before Jane reaches over and shuts it back off.

"You were right." She sighs.

"About?" He singsongs enjoying hearing those words out of a stubborn Jane Rizzoli's mouth.

"Maura." She declared. "I'm not going to go to her and tell her to dump Julia. But I'm not going to mope any more. I'm going to try to show her I'm just as good as Julia and see where is takes us. If she still chooses Julia then I will stay her friend and be happy for her."

"I'd say that is very adult of you if I didn't think you're still being stupid as hell." He replies.

"What the fuck do you want me to do? Go up to her and plant one on her?" She growls.

"Well you don't have to be so direct. But I know Maura. She is absolutely brilliant in all things dead. I'm pretty sure that's what earned her the nickname Queen of the Dead-"

"Which only I am allowed to call her. Got it?"

"Yeah yeah. Anyways, she isn't so good with the live ones Jane. And you're a live one, not just any live one, THE live one. She's not great with sensing the emotions at play. Yeah she can figure out your feelings through facial expression and yada yada. Honestly I have no idea how she does it. But when you're clearly trying to hide your emotions from her, well she isn't so perceptive. And sometimes she may hit those emotions right on the head but mistake the reasons why they're present. Just like when she mistook your being angry at yourself for being angry at her. So you may not have to be as direct as 'planting one on her' but you should tell her how you feel," He reasons.

"You know you are right. And I'd do exactly as you're saying if she wasn't in a relationship. You've got to understand that there is another person in the middle of all this and we don't know for sure if Maura would want me over her. Don't go on a spiel about how I'm better. I'm just saying Maura could really like her. And as much as it pains me to think that, I want to give Maura her own choice without throwing her in the middle of a big decision. I just want her happy and if that has to be without me, I'd do it." She continues driving while her eyes turn somber at the thought of losing Maura to Julia.

"I never thought I'd see Jane Rizzoli acting like a love sick puppy." He smirks. "Maura would be lucky to have you. I'm not saying you're right because you're not and you're clearly being stubborn again but I'm not going to force you to do anything and Korsak has already made me promise not to meddle."

"Yeah about that! Did you tell him or my brother about this?" She asks pointedly.

"Korsak said he's known since Leahy and your brother well he's a better detective than we all thought." He laughs.

Jane pinches her nose before refocusing her eyes on the road. "You see what I get for being in love with a completely brilliant yet blatantly oblivious doctor and having all my friends and family be detectives. Everybody knows except the one that should."

"You could change that Jane." He says looking at her pointedly.

"Yeah Perhaps. But I'm to the point where I want to give Maura all the power to decide where we take this. Because it's not a question of whether or not I love her. It's a question of whether or not she loves me. So I want to give her the right to decide if she does and confess to it on her own rather than force it out of her by throwing myself at her."

"You make absolutely no sense." He rumbled. "God I give up with you. Do what you please. I just hope somehow it works out because I can't take being your therapist anymore."

"Hey I never asked you." She scoffs. "You're the one who confronted me about this first."

"Biggest mistake of my life." He groans receiving another slap from the detective. "I'm just going to warn you though. I really don't think putting the ball in Maura's court is really a great idea if she has no idea how you feel. She was completely oblivious to the death glares you were giving Julia last night."

"I was not giving her death glares!" She yells. "I was nice. I even shook her hand."

"Yeah which only managed to fool Maura. The rest of us could see you inwardly fuming about the fact Maura brought her around."

"After that night Maura came to my house I realized how completely oblivious she is to how I feel about her. She doesn't realize the things she is doing to me emotionally. I forgive her for it, even for bringing Julia around despite that I'm insanely jealous of her." She shrugs.

"What happened to Jane Rizzoli?" He mocks.

"She realized if she wants to win Maura over, she's got to be the bigger man, well woman, and do everything on her own."

"Okay, so what is your plan for showing Maura you're the better match?"

"I haven't got that all figured out yet. But I know one thing I'm going to do even if it's more for my own pride." She smiles.

"And what's that."

"Our A.D.A. wants to run in the victims 5k on Sunday. She seems to think she's going to win. I'm going to beat her and knock that ego down a peg." She brags.

"Oh I can't wait to see this." He laughs.

"Yeah. It's the first year I'm actually excited to run." She laughs. "Anyways. No more therapy sessions from you. From anyone actually. I've been told off by too many people about this. You all seem to think this whole thing is like a romance novel or something. I can't deal with the drama anymore. I'm just going to try and be happy no matter where this goes."

"Alright." He agrees. "No more therapy session." He laughs.

"Are we there yet?" He whines jokingly several minutes later.

"Really? Don't start with me Frost." She chides. "And we are actually." She says while pulling into the driveway of Jessica's parents' house.

"Looks like a normal home." He remarks.

"Yeah well let's hope the parents are as normal as their house and they will cooperate with us."

* * *

The two detectives walk up the door and knock. After several minutes a brunette finally opens the door.

"How are you doing today ma'am. I'm detective Jane Rizzoli and this is my partner Barry Frost. We are looking for a Martha and Gregory Schuler."

"My husband is at work. I'm Martha." She says as she extends her hand.

"Hello Martha." She says as she shakes her hand followed by Frost doing the same.

"Ma'am we were wondering when the last time was that you saw your daughter Jessica." Frost asks.

"We haven't seen her in about 9 years. Since we kicked her out of the house." She replies coolly. "Whatever trouble she is in now. We've got nothing to do with it. We haven't spoken to her since she was 16 so you can stop calling us."

"Yes ma'am, we know that. But we are from Boston Homicide. Your daughter is not in trouble. I'm afraid she's been murdered." Jane informs her. There are several reactions Jane expects when telling people their family member has been murdered. And she has several ways to handle them. But when Martha remains calm and just nods in response she doesn't quite know how to react.

"I see. Well I can't say I'm surprised." She replies curtly.

Jane looks at Frost questioningly who shrugs in response.

"Would you mind telling us why you kicked your daughter out?" Frost asks.

"Sure. She was a harlot!" She spits. "We are a family of God. She sinned and then denied that sin. We are members of the church and dear friends of our church's priest. One of the choir boys told us that'd she'd been sleeping around with some guys at her school. We could not house a liar and a whore anymore."

"Do you know where she went after you kicked her out?" He asks.

"No. And I don't care. As far as I'm concerned, God has done his work in ridding the world of another sinner." She hissed.

"Ma'am do you know who any of your daughter's friends were?" Jane asks as through clenched teeth.

"No. Probably a bunch of other sinners she went to school with at Worcester High." She spits.

"Thank you. I think that will be all then. We will call if we need more information. And feel free to call us if you have any questions." Frost says as he hands the woman his card.

"Don't count on it." She sneered as she threw the card away.

The two keep walking to their car and don't speak until inside.

"What the hell was that?" Jane begins angrily.

"Another crazy religious family, ruining their kid's life. Religion makes people do crazy things." Frost responds.

"My whole family is Catholic and we'd never admonish someone for their mistakes. To kick a girl out at sixteen and not even care that she was murdered at only 25. That's just cold. Now we are back to no leads again." Jane says sadly.

"Well we do know a few things. Jessica may have been seeing a few boys. And she went to Worcester High. Maybe we can see if anyone at the school remembers her and who she was friends with." He says.

"Novak said Jessica never had a boyfriend before, do you think she may not have told him truth?"

"It's not like it's never happened before. Come on, let's head to the high school and see the principle."

"I just hope it's the same one from when she went to high school." Jane grumbles driving off towards the school.

* * *

When they arrive at the school they head to the front office and walk up to the front desk.

"Hi my name is Detective Jane Rizzoli." She says while flashing her badge. "This is my partner Barry Frost. We were wondering if we could speak with your principle about a former student."

"Absolutely. I will go and get him." She informs dutifully and walks off towards his office. A few minutes later she returns with a middle-aged man following behind her.

"Good afternoon, I'm John Hudson." He greets while extending his hand.

"Detective Jane Rizzoli." She returns while shaking his hand. "This is my partner Detective Barry Frost." She points while they shake hands.

"If you'll follow me to my office you can tell me what brings you here." He says while leading them to his office. Once inside he shuts the door and takes a seat at his desk.

"How long have you worked here Mr. Hudson." Jane starts by asking.

"John please. And it'll be 15 years next year." He states proudly.

"I know in your 15 years here that it isn't likely you'd remember many students." She says while pulling the military's photograph of Jessica from her pocket. "But I was wondering if you remember this girl here."

"Jessica Schuler." He notes immediately after seeing the picture. Noticing both detective shock at his instantaneous recognition of the girl he continues. "She'd be a hard one to forget." He smiles warmly. "She was a favorite around here for everyone. A nice girl and so bright too. She was in this office often but not for disciplinary reasons. That'd be her best friend Courtney. No she was sure to do well in anything she did. Until she dropped out at sixteen. Caught all of us off guard. We tried to stop her but she said she'd get her GED. She said she couldn't afford to attend school anymore." He says sadly. "It's a shame. But it seems she's made something of herself in the military huh?"

"I'm afraid not sir." She informs him glumly. "Jessica was murdered in Boston a few days ago after finishing her tour of duty."

"Oh my god. Have you found who did it?" He almost pleads.

"We are doing our best to find out who." Frost promises.

"Yes we are." Jane asserts. "We are actually trying to find Jessica's best friend from high school. You mentioned a Courtney…" She presses.

"Yeah that'd be Jessica's best friend. She was quite the troublemaker but Jessica had a pretty good influence on her." He notes nostalgically.

"Do you remember her full name? We'd like to talk to her." Frost asks

"Um yes. Uhh Courtney Collins I believe. Jessica used to call her C.C." He smiles in memory.

"Thank you sir. You've been a lot of help and we will do our best to find who did this." Jane reassures while heading to the door.

"I trust you will." He says while leading them out of his office.

They head to their car once again and recount what they've learned.

"So she dropped out after her parents kicked her out. Probably so she had time to work." Jane muses.

"Yeah but she must have gotten her GED to get into the army." Frost replies back.

"Well John did say she was smart. I'm calling Korsak to see if he can get us her address."

She puts the phone to her ear and Korsak answers almost immediately.

"I told you to call me when you got there." He barks.

"We forgot." She excuses. "I need you to run a name through the system and get us an address."

"Give me the name." He demands.

"Courtney Collins. Spelled the usual way. She should be about 25."

"Yeah I found her." He replies before reading off the address.

"Thanks Korsak. We should be heading back after we question her."

"Yeah yeah. Be safe." He says before hanging up and they drive off to the address.

* * *

They arrive after 15 minutes and knock on the door which a young woman holding a baby answers.

"Hello. How can I help you?" The young woman asks politely.

"Hi are you Courtney Collins." Jane questions.

"Yes." She nods.

"My name is Jane Rizzoli, this is Barry Frost." She says while pointing her partner. "We're detectives for Boston Homicide."

"Oh God." Courtney cries. "What's the matter?"

"We believe you were friends with this girl." She says while holding up a picture. "Jessica Schuler. Do you know her?"

"Y-yes." She stammers. "She was my best friend in high school. Did something happen?" Instinctively she cradles her child to her chest for protection while her face turns to worry.

"Mrs. Collins your friend was murdered a few days ago. We were wondering if you'd know who'd want to kill her." Frost pipes in.

"I haven't seen her since she moved to Boston eight or nine years ago. She was my best friend. Sometimes she'd send me letters asking me how I was. But she'd never tell me what she was doing or anything about herself. I even invited her to my wedding, she didn't come." She says sadly.

"Do you know what Jessica did after her parents kicked her out? Where she stayed? How she managed to move to Boston?" Jane asks.

"She stayed with me for a few months after her parents kicked her out. She got a job and ended up dropping out of school so she could work more and get together some money. She took night classes and got her GED pretty quick. She said some guy in her class told her about a way to get money in Boston. She wouldn't tell me how only that she was going to leave soon and try to make it there. Jess left a few weeks later and I haven't seen her since. She would write to me from time to time but like I said she wouldn't tell me anything." Courtney explains almost in tears.

"Her parents kicked her out for sleeping around. Did she have any boyfriends or anyone else who may have known where she went?" She continues to question.

"That was a lie. She never slept with anyone but they wouldn't believe her. That choir boy lied to her parents because she rejected him in front of his friends. I was the only one she really talked to in school. She was kind of introverted." She cries while wiping her eyes.

"I know this is hard." Jane consoles while squeezing her shoulder. "But you've been a lot of help already. We will find out who did this to Jessica."

"Thank you. Please keep me informed of what you find." Courtney sniffles.

"We will." Jane promises while handing Courtney her card. "Call us if you need anything or if you think of anything important."

* * *

While they walk back to the car Jane tosses her keys to Frost and asks him to drive back. They drive in silence half of the way back while Jane looks out the window.

"We will catch another break." Frost promises, after breaking the silence.

"We have no idea who she knew in Boston and whoever it was she was purposefully trying to hide it." Jane replies sadly.

"When do you ever give up? Maybe Maura can find something. We can put out an alert on her, put her picture in the paper. Ask if anyone knows her. We can talk to her neighbors and see what they know."

"What if this is the one we don't solve." Jane whispers back.

"We will!" He yells determined. "Maybe you should take this weekend to rest. Settle your own problems and we will start back on it on Monday. I will send her picture out to the news and the paper today so they can put it up for information and we will just have to hope for an anonymous tip or something. But either way we aren't going to give up." Frost reassures her.

"Okay." She relents.

"Just focus on beating Julia in that race." Frost reassures. "Come back in on Monday with your head held high that you are better than Julia Fields at running. Therefore you deserve the love of Maura Isles. Then you will court her and win her heart." He jokes.

"Yeah yeah. Will do." Jane laughs.

* * *

When they arrive back to BPD, Jane heads back upstairs to pack up her things and go home. She walks out of the elevator into the lobby where she runs into Maura.

"Hey Jane" Maura greets.

"He Maur."

"Why haven't I seen you all day? This is the first time I haven't talked to you for an entire day of work." Maura questions sadly.

"I'm sorry. I interviewed Novak and then Frost and I headed out to Worcester to question Jessica's family." Jane informs Maura noticing her sad appearance.

"Why didn't you tell me? You always keep me updated on the case."

"I'm sorry Maura. It's been a long day. If it makes you feel better I even forgot to call Korsak too." Jane tries to amend.

"Yeah I guess so. I just feel like something is wrong between us. Like you're avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?"

"No. Never Maura. I've just been a little upset about this case. We are back to square one with no leads." Jane replies sadly.

"I'll try my best to fix that on Monday. I'll go over that body ten more times if I need to. I promise." Maura says while squeezing Jane's arm reassuringly.

"Hey how about I take you out to dinner and you sleep over like old times." Jane asks in hopes of proving to Maura that everything is fine.

"I feel like staying in. Chinese?" Maura asks happily.

"Sure."

"Okay. I'll go home and get some things and meet you at your house later."

"Sounds great." Jane says while heading out towards her car.

_The only thing I can do right now is continue to be Maura's friend. I realize I've been hurting her feelings by being distant and the last thing I want to do is make her feel bad. Ugh I'm so sorry Maura, I've been such an ass to you over this and you don't even know why. Maybe I can explain why without actually telling her I'm in love with her. When did this shit get so complicated? I just wish Julia wasn't in the picture. Right now I just have to get things back to normal and maybe Maura will break up with Julia or something. God what do I expect to come of this?_

* * *

Jane returns home and walks Jo before calling out for Chinese food. She orders hers and Maura's favorites before changing into comfortable clothing. A few minutes later she hears a knock and then the door opens revealing her best friend. What Jane sees causes her to smile. Maura isn't dressed like a supermodel but instead is in comfortable sweats and a t-shirt. She's carrying a case of beer and a bag of other things.

"You're wearing my sweatpants." Jane notes while grinning from ear to ear at the site of Maura in her clothes.

"You left them over the last time you slept at my house. And I figured since you're always in comfortable clothes when we hang up, I should embrace the Jane Rizzoli way, but I don't own sweat pants and I found yours so…" She trails off.

"It's hang out Maura." She smiles before taking the beer from her friend and putting it in the fridge.

"Yes. Well they're a little big on me aren't they?" She mentions while pulling at the legs of the pants.

"Just a little." Jane laughs while walking up to Maura. "But they look good on you. Everything looks good on you." She smiles while kneeling before Maura and rolling the sweats up at the ankles. "There. So you don't trip." She explains.

"Thanks." Maura smiles while staring down at Jane.

Jane clears her throat and stands after a few seconds. "What else did you bring?"

"Oh yes." Maura hands Jane the bag in her hand. "Movies. No sports tonight. I just want to watch a movie with you and eat."

"Sounds good. So what are we going to watch? Riveting documentaries on brain surgery." Jane teases while peering into the bag.

"No." Maura laughs. "I picked up and assortment. You pick."

Jane searches through the movies and pulls one out. "I kind of want to see this one. But I've heard some things about it." She confesses somewhat embarrassed.

"Oh yes. I was interested in that one too. It's about ballet. Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake." She smiles.

"Not exactly Maura." Jane laughs. "It's a little more dark than that and a little more- Don't make me say it."

"If you're referring to the lesbian scene Jane it won't make me uncomfortable but if it will for you we can watch something else."

"This is fine Maura." She laughs again. "I just didn't want it to get awkward."

"Don't be silly. I've heard great things about it." She says.

Jane is about to respond when she hears the doorbell.

"Chinese is here. My treat okay." Receiving a nod in response she pays for the Chinese and sets it on the coffee table. "Would you like wine?"

"No. I brought beer for both of us." Maura says.

"Sweat pants, beer; what's going on Maura?" Jane asks while quirking an eyebrow.

"Nothing I just thought we'd do something that's fun for you. I know you're upset about this case so I wanted to get your mind off of it. Which I just failed at by bringing it up. Darn it!" Maura scolds herself.

"It's okay Maura thank you. But you don't have to drink beer. I'll get you wine."

"No. I want beer. I like your beer."

"Okay." She says as she goes to the fridge to get them both a beer and some plates. She returns to the living room. Sets everything on the coffee table and puts the movie in the DVD player. She sits on the couch on the opposite side of Maura and begins pulling out the Chinese food and plating it.

"My favorite." Maura smiles looking at the food Jane hands to her.

"Always." She replies and returns the smile.

They watch the movie in silence while they eat. When Maura finishes she puts her plate down and begins to move closer to Jane who begins to panic inwardly after noticing.

_What is she doing? Now I'm just wondering if she is doing this on purpose. Wearing my clothes, God she looks so good in my clothes. Drinking beer, letting me choose the movie. I thought massages and cooking me dinner were girlfriend territory, this is just too freaking much._

Jane's inner panic is stopped once Maura settles next to Jane and lays her head on Jane's shoulder.

"Do you mind?" She asks.

"No." Jane gulps.

_Jesus, Mary and Joseph this woman is going to kill me. Her face is near my face. I could just-No Jane, she has a girlfriend. You are not a home wrecker. But oh my God she smells so good and she is in my clothes. Holy shit she is going to be in my bed tonight. But Julia. I'm going to die._

"Jane?" Maura asks interrupting her thoughts.

"Hmm?" Jane asks not trusting her voice.

"I'm sorry for everything I've done. For not telling you about Julia and bringing her to the Robber without asking I realized that made you uncomfortable and I still don't know why but I wished you'd tell me." Maura apologizes sadly.

"It's okay. You should have told me but it doesn't change us okay? And I'm not uncomfortable with Julia. We're fine." She lies.

"Then why did you leave when we showed up?"

"I really can't explain why Maura. I'm sorry. But you have to know I'm okay with you dating a woman Maura. It doesn't freak me out if that's what you still think. Just trust me that we're okay alright?"

"Okay." Maura nods. "I think you'd like Julia though. You should give her a chance."

"Funny you should say that. I ran into her this morning. She wants to get together with me and get to know each other." Jane explains despite the fact that she really didn't plan on actually going through with it.

"That's great. She is running in the 5k. Maybe you can get to know her better on Sunday." Maura smiles against her shoulder.

"Maybe." Jane replies while hoping otherwise.

"She's a really nice person. She actually really looks up to you."

"Really?" Jane asks surprised by the news.

"Yeah. She knew a lot about us. She said we are the reason she took the job with Boston Homicide. She seemed to be a bigger fan of you." Maura smiles. "I'd be jealous if I didn't know you were straight and she hadn't asked me out."

_She thinks I'm straight. Okay well I guess I am except for the fact that I'm in love with Maura. Do I even know my sexuality? Is Maurasexual a sexuality? Hahaha. What the heck you're laughing at yourself in your head. It's official Maura has made you crazy. She thinks I'm straight though! And she is in the jealousy stage of her relationship. Fuck._

"So you and Julia are getting kind of serious then huh? I mean you've introduced her to everyone and you want me to hang out with her."

"I don't really know how serious we are." Maura shrugs "I introduced her to everyone because I didn't want people to find out like you did. I wanted to control how they found out. I'm still really sorry I didn't tell you. And I want you to get to know her because she really likes you and I want you to like her back."

"Okay. I'll try." Jane says truthfully.

They continue watching the movie. Well Maura does because all Jane is doing is thinking. Until she looks at Maura who has curled into her and rakes over her body again. _God she looks so good in my clothes._

"You look good in my clothes." Jane whispers to Maura.

_Fuck, why did I say that out loud? Obvious much. Dammit._

"Thanks." Maura smiles. "You looked good in mine." She says a beat later not taking her eyes off the TV.

_Poor oblivious Maura. I'd never thought I'd be happy you were so oblivious._

They continued to watch the movie with no more talking. Once it was over Maura stood up and began clearing off the coffee table.

"Maur let me get all this. You go lay down." Jane says stopping Maura from what she is doing.

"No it's okay let me." Maura protests.

"Maura! Go. I got it this time." Jane demands.

"Fine." She huffs and marches off towards Jane room while Jane stays back and laughs.

She throws away the garbage and washes their dishes within five minutes and heads off towards her room. She takes a deep breath before entering silently hoping Maura is asleep. She walks in to realize that it is no such luck. She gets into bed next to Maura and lies on her back. They sit in silence until Maura breaks it.

"Do you believe in true love?" Maura asks.

_Oh God don't tell me she thinks she is in love with Julia._

"I don't know. That's not really a question to ask me since I've yet to find proof of it. But someone who thinks they've found it may think there is such a thing." Jane answers truthfully.

"Statistically I find it hard to believe that there may not be a better match out there for you. I don't know if I could ever believe there is one perfect person out there for us. And I realize we often don't end up with the person we should." Maura sighs.

"That's for sure." Jane says with double meaning. "Why are you asking me this?"

"I don't know. I'm just wondering I suppose. I'm scared I'll settle."

"You think you're settling." Jane asks a little too happily.

_Maybe she doesn't love Julia. Maybe I have a chance._

"I don't know. Not really. I'm just worried I might. I'm worried there's a better match that I'm missing out on because of Julia."

"If you don't feel like Julia isn't the one then why not move on?" Jane suggests.

"Because what if the one who is better for me never comes around. Then I've missed out on a complacent relationship. I could love Julia easily. She is great. I'm worried I'd risk that for someone who I could never have."

_She loves someone else? Could it be me? Okay calm down. She could be talking about Ian._

"Are we talking hypothetical here?" Jane asks to make sure.

"I suppose." Maura shrugs.

_So she may not love anyone._

"Well all I can say is you shouldn't want complacency. You should want to be with someone who makes even something as simple as sitting at home together feel like an adventure. Someone who causes your body to react in ways you've never felt. Like your heart races at the thought of them and you know for sure there isn't anyone better for you out there even if statistically there is. You can't even consider the thought of ever wanting anyone else." Jane explains secretly describing her emotions for Maura.

"I've felt that way before, you know?" Maura sighs.

"With Ian?" Jane asks.

"Well yes in the beginning. But with someone else too. But both those people who have made me feel that way. They're impossible. Which is why complacency seems like the option for me. Julia is a sure thing. She does make me happy and my mom really likes her family. I can see me building a life with her. I just don't want to regret anything." Maura confesses.

"Then don't give yourself something to regret. You should go after who you love. Take a leap."

"I don't think it's that easy." Maura sighs.

"Anything worth having isn't" Jane argued.

"I just don't think I can do it."

"What are you so afraid of?" Jane questions.

"Rejection, hurt, change. So many things could go wrong." Maura mumbles sleepily.

"Fear shouldn't stop you from doing something."

"So you've never not done something out of fear." Maura asks knowingly.

"I have." Jane sighs. "And I regret it every time."

"I don't know what I'll do. But my brain is telling me Julia is perfect for me."

"Okay." Jane says sadly. "We should sleep."

Jane turns her back to Maura and wills herself not to cry.

_She thinks Julia is perfect. She is choosing her. What if she doesn't even love me? No. I don't want regrets. I will still try to win her over. If she loves me, maybe I can convince her to choose me._

Jane turns back over to see Maura asleep. She stares at her for a few moments reveling in her beauty.

"I love you Maura." She whispers before falling asleep next to the woman she loves.

* * *

**A/N: So long! Sorry if that was boring or anything. Next update's going to be fun I think. Also just a few fun facts about me if you'd like. Black Swan happens to be one of my favorite movies, but for theatrical and musical reasons not necessarily for "the scene." And another reference to Tchaikovsky was no coincidence, I tend to listen to classical music while I write and I believe I've mentioned he's my favorite composer. Two more days till R&I returns :)**


	12. Chapter 12

__**A/N: Okay so this is a really quick update because I really didn't like how my last chapter ended****when it comes to Jane's plan regarding the situation. So I wanted to give you this short one as a segue in Jane's official plans to win Maura over. Next chapter is going to be long though so you'll have to give me a few days to put it to paper.  
**

**I also wanted to address the race and Jane's determination to beat Julia. Maybe this chapter has a little bit of a better explanation but its a pride thing with Jane. She isn't doing it to win Maura per say. It's to prove to herself that Julia isn't perfect and isn't better than her. I've said before that this is also about Jane finding herself. Korsak, Frost and Angela may have told Jane she is better than Julia but she wants to prove it to herself in one way or another and this is ultimately how she chooses to do so. It may seem stupid but Jane's slowly building her confidence especially when it comes to Maura.  
**

**Sorry if the beginning is frustrating again...but I just had to. Enjoy and review if you please.  
**

* * *

_They're lying on the couch watching a movie. Maura is half on top of Jane with their legs tangled and her head resting on Jane's shoulder._

_She lifts her head and begins kissing Jane's neck. She trails kisses up until she reaches her jaw and Jane finally reacts._

"_What are you doing?" She laughs._

"_Trying to engage you in intercourse." Maura shrugs while she continues kissing Jane's jaw._

_Jane laughs before snatching Maura's lips in her own. She breaks the kiss and stares into Maura's eyes. "You're quite the sweet talker you know? I've never heard something so romantic before in my life." She jokes._

"_Do you want courtship instead?" Maura asks._

"_No. You're perfect." Jane says before taking Maura's lips in her own again. She presses her lips hard against Maura's and pulls her bottom lip between her own, swiping her tongue along it asking for entrance. Maura complies and their tongues duel before Jane turns them so she is on top. She breaks the kiss for air and stares down at Maura. "I love you." She pants to the woman beneath her._

_Maura pulls her into another kiss in response. "Make love to me." She gasps after Jane breaks the kiss again and begins trailing kisses down her throat._

"_With pleasure." She hums against Maura's pulse point._

* * *

Jane awakes panting again. She groans quietly when she raises her head and realizes she is spooning Maura. She gently backs away from her best friend and gets out of bed and as far away as she can before she tries to get her head together.

_Another sex dream at 5 a.m. and I'm sleeping next to the one it was about. Not just next to, I was spooning her! Fuck that is just perfect. I think it's time for another run._

She writes a note to Maura:

_Woke up early._

_Thought I'd go for a run._

_Didn't want to wake you but if you wake up before I get back don't worry about me._

_-Jane_

Leaving the note in her place on the bed, Jane pulls on her running shoes and heads out for her run getting lost in her thoughts almost immediately.

_Maura is willing to accept complacency with Julia over risking being with whomever she loves. Is it me she loves? Maybe I should make the first move then. But what if it isn't me? That could turn into an awkward mess and ruin our friendship. But I'd be a hypocrite telling her to go for it despite her fears and then doing the same thing. I used the thought that Maura was straight as an excuse for why I didn't make a move for too long. I'm not going to let fear hold me back any more._

_Everyone else seems to think she feels the same way. And she has been acting awfully weird lately. What is that about anyways? Sometimes I just feel like this is a sick joke or a nightmare I need to awake from._

_But what about Julia? She seems like a nice person. I mean Maura made it sound like she's my biggest fan. And she is our A.D.A. It'd be a bit of a problem if Maura leaves her for me._

_I'd sit here and wait until they broke up but Maura said she thinks she could love her. This could become long term._

_There has got to be a way I can get rid of Julia without hurting her by making it seem like I stole Maura. Maybe I can convince Maura that complacency is bad. Then she will realize Julia isn't worth risking a better match for. And she can let her down gently and then I can tell her how I feel._

_I'm still going to beat Julia tomorrow. This is about my pride. I am better than her in several things and I'm going to prove running is one of them. Even if it's not really going to prove much to Maura if she actually loves me and thinks I'm not interested._

_She thinks I'm straight though. Can I convince her otherwise without actually having to say 'Maura I may be gay.'" Oh my God. I've got it. And I think I know a way to convince Maura against complacency also._

_Okay. This just might work._

After deciding upon a new course of action with her Maura situation, Jane heads back towards her apartment with a new sense of vigor. This is totally going to work.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Another sleepless night means another update for you guys. This chapter did not turn out how I expected in the best way possible, it was supposed to include the race but then I just kept writing and well then ending seemed like a good stopping point for now.**

**Read and review if you please. Your reviews really inspire me to continue.  
**

* * *

When Jane walks back into her apartment Maura is sitting at her bar drinking a cup of coffee waiting for her return.

"Hey you're up." Jane notes while going to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Yeah I think I woke up right after you left and noticed you were gone. Why did you go for a run so early?" Maura asks.

"No reason. I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep." Jane lies and begins drinking her water.

"Why didn't you wake me to run with you?"

"You looked comfortable." Jane shrugs.

"Are you having trouble sleeping again?" Maura asks with worry in her voice.

"I suppose a little bit. It's not a big deal." She returns trying to brush it off. "I'm getting more sleep than before."

"But now you're not staying asleep. Is it nightmares?"

"No I promised I'd tell you if it was. Kind of the opposite actually." She blurts mentally slapping herself for saying that.

"Oh." Maura quarks an eyebrow smirking. "Those type of dreams?"

"No. Nevermind. I'm fine." Jane reassures.

"Care to share who you're dreaming about." Maura pries.

"No one." Jane barks trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Okay. Don't tell me." Maura says putting her hands up in surrender.

"I'm gonna go shower." She diverts.

"I'll make you something to eat before I go for you to eat when you're done." Maura says getting up and going towards the kitchen.

"You don't have to." Jane tells her.

"I want to. You need to eat something healthy. I'll leave it out on the counter for you."

"Okay. Why are you leaving so early?" Jane questions.

"Julia and I are spending the day together. We are getting breakfast first. I should probably go home and get ready." Maura explains.

"Oh." Jane responds trying to hide her sadness.

"I'll see you later okay?" Maura asks

"Okay. Have fun Maur." She says while walking towards her bedroom gloomily.

She takes a shower trying to avoid the thoughts of Maura and Julia out on a date unsuccessfully.

_Don't worry about it Jane. When your plan works you will be dating Maura._

She smiles at the thought of taking Maura out to dinner and on romantic dates.

When she emerges from the shower she gets dressed and heads into the kitchen. Her smile widens when she sees Maura has made her pancakes with a side of fruit and a glass of OJ. She looks next to it to see a note left by the thoughtful doctor.

_I know how much you love pancakes. These are wheat so it's nice and healthy._

_By the way I love the Jane Rizzoli lifestyle. I don't think you're getting these pants back._

_Enjoy. I will be back later tonight._

_-Love Maura_

Jane eats her breakfast with a smile.

_She is coming back over tonight. Good I can begin my plan to win Maura over starting with telling her about Allison._

Jane finishes her breakfast, cleans her dishes and pulls out her cell phone to call her mother.

After a few rings, Angela picks up.

"To what do I owe the rare pleasure of my only daughter calling me?" Angela chides as a greeting.

"Good morning to you too Ma." Jane sighs. "I was wondering if Julia could join us for our Sunday dinner tomorrow after the race."

"Why do you want her coming over Jane? I thought we agreed to you telling Maura how you feel."

"I will when she ends it with Julia. I don't want her to have to choose me over Julia. Especially since she's our A.D.A. We kind of need her to be on good terms with her." Jane explains.

"Well then why are you encouraging it by allowing her to come over and invade in our family time?" Angela demands angrily.

"Because Maura wants me to be nice to Julia and this is a way I can prove I am so she won't hate me for being standoffish last time I met her. Besides, Frost and Korsak are coming too like every year after the race so it'd be rude not to invite her. I also need you to do something for me tomorrow." Jane reveals.

"What do you need Janie?" She asks.

"Maura said she may be settling with Julia. But she doesn't want to risk what could be a good relationship for someone that may never come around. She told me she loves someone but that she doesn't think it would ever happen. I think she was talking about me. I need you to tell her that a relationship doesn't work on complacency. Tell her about you and dad or something as an example."

"Me and your father were in love in the beginning Jane. And when you thought she was talking about you why didn't you just tell her you loved her then?" She asks.

"Just do it please mom. Make it up if you have to. Blame complacency for your divorce or something. Please do this for me. Please convince her to change her mind." Jane begs uncharacteristically.

"If you think she loves you back why don't you just tell her Jane." Her mother yells.

"Because Julia is a nice person from what Maura says. It's not fair to her. I want Maura to break up with her for her own reasons so I can tell her how I feel. If she breaks up with Julia for me, well that could lead to problems."

"You're making this so difficult Jane. Just tell her how you feel. Why do Julia's feelings matter so much?" She scolds.

"I don't know why. I just want to do this right with no one hating me in the end. Will you please just do this for me?" She begs again.

"Fine. But my first grand baby better be named after me if it's a girl." She sighs.

"Come on Ma. Already with the grandchildren?" Jane gripes.

"Yes. They better happen soon I'm not getting any younger." She pesters.

"Fine Ma. I'll knock Maura up as soon as she tells me she loves me. Does that make you happy?" She relents mockingly.

"It's all I ask." Angela responds not caring to recognize Jane's joke.

Jane groans in response. "Bye Ma." She says before hanging up. She collapses onto her couch before groaning out loud again at her mother's craziness.

_Can't believe that woman is thinking about kids when Maura and I aren't even together yet_. _Brace yourself Maura Isles, marrying me entails the craziness accompanied by having Angela Rizzoli as your mother in law. Oh god I'm already thinking about marrying Maura! I'm turning into my mother. Never!_

* * *

Jane's sitting on her couch watching TV when she hears her door unlock and open. She smiles knowing it's Maura. She turns her head to see the honey blonde smiling at her with a box of pizza in her hand.

"Hey. Are you watching a game?" Maura questions.

"No, just highlights. No games on tonight." Jane says while patting the couch inviting Maura to sit.

"I bought pizza. It's not very healthy but it's quick and you paid last night." She says while setting down the box and going to the kitchen to get plates. "Do you want another beer while I'm up?"

"Sure." Jane replies.

_I can't wait till this is an every night thing with us. Just us here together, but affectionate and intimate. Okay calm down. It's not gonna happen yet._

"So to what do I owe the pleasure of spending two nights in a row with you?" Jane questions.

"Making up for a week of lost time I suppose." Maura says handing the detective her beer. She takes a seat where Jane originally pointed and plates two pieces of pizza for her and Jane.

"You're not drinking?" Jane asks taking her plate.

"No. I'm gonna go home tonight so you can rest up for the 5k tomorrow so I need to drive and I'd rather be safe." Maura explains.

"Okay." Jane mumbles through a bite of pizza. "Hey so I want you to invite Julia to our family dinner tomorrow."

"You do?" Maura asks in surprise.

"Yeah." Jane says. "I can get to know her better and she is going to be at the race and everyone else is coming so why not?"

"Okay." Maura agrees timidly

"How was your day with Julia?" Jane asks.

"It was nice." Maura shrugs.

"Just nice?" Jane asks pushing for a little more detail.

"Yeah. It was a bit unexpected I suppose."

"Unexpected?" Jane asks.

Maura just sighs.

"Did something happen?"

"My mom showed up at my house without warning before I left for breakfast." Maura explains.

"So you had to cancel?" Jane pushes.

"No. I brought her along to meet Julia, well to introduce her as my girlfriend."

Jane gulps. _She's introduced her to her mother. Oh God. That means things are serious._

"And she loved Julia?" Jane pried.

"The opposite." Maura scoffs.

"Is you mom not okay with her being a girl?"

"What? No. Julia isn't the first girl I've dated. My mom hasn't really cared about the sex of the people I date. I've never known if it's just because she didn't care at all or if she was actually fine with my sexuality." She breathed.

"Wait Julia isn't the first girl you've dated?" Jane asks shocked.

"No. Jane I went to an all girls school." Maura says. "And I went to college. I've had my fair share of 'experimentation' as my mother first put it. When I explained to her that it wasn't experimentation and that I liked who I liked she shrugged it off and accepted it I suppose."

"So why didn't she like Julia?" Jane asks.

"I don't know." Maura cries. "I thought she'd like that I was dating her since she knows her family. She wasn't mean to her or anything. But after breakfast she pulled me aside and told me she would support my decision on whomever I dated but that I should know Julia wasn't who she saw me with in the long run."

"What did she mean by that?" She questions.

"I asked her to explain and she just told me I'd figure it out." Maura breathes.

"So what are you going to do?" Jane presses hoping Maura says break up with her.

"I don't know yet." Maura sighs. "I like Julia. And I think she really likes me. I don't know if I'm prepared to break up with her. And I don't know if I want to break up with her just because my mother said that. I mean she didn't disapprove."

"Yeah." Jane agrees sadly.

"I'll figure it out. Let's talk about something else." Maura says trying to lighten the mood.

"So college huh? You never told me you've had girlfriends before." Jane smiles.

_I can push this topic directly in the direction I want it to go._

"It never came up." Maura shrugs.

"Touché. I guess it'd be hypocritical to call you out on not telling me." Jane says smirking while hoping Maura takes the bait.

"Hypocritical?" Maura asks confused. "You haven't." She says excitedly.

"I have." Jane shrugs pretending to remain calm.

"Oh come on Jane, spill. What did you kiss a girl during spin the bottle or something?" Maura teases.

Jane laughs. "No. I had a girlfriend while I was in the academy and working the beat."

"Jane." Maura exclaims. "Why didn't you tell me? All this time-" She stops abruptly scrunching up her face.

_What was she going to say? Maybe this is working perfectly. If she knows I'm not necessarily all that straight she will take a chance on me. Okay I guess I should tell her the whole story then._

"Like you said, it never came up." Jane replies smugly.

"But your mom, does she know?" Maura asks.

"Hmmm not about Allison, that was her name. But I guess she knows I may be attracted to girls and she has already told me she's okay with it." Jane explains.

"Tell me more." Maura demands, moving closer to the detective on the couch.

"There isn't much to tell. We dated for a month or two. I, being young and naïve, thought I loved her. I was about to introduce her to my family. I was scared of course but more so of my dad. I was always his little girl and I was scared about what would happen if he didn't approve. But I never got the chance to come out. A few weeks after starting out on the beat, I got shot at. I didn't get injured but I didn't tell her about it. Of course it ended up on the news and she told me she didn't like my job. Which was stupid because she knew I was going to become a cop, she met me while I was still in the academy. But I loved my job and I had worked hard for it, so she left me when I told her I wouldn't quit." Jane explains while looking into the doctor's eyes and realizing she has gotten considerably closer to her.

"Wow." Maura breathes. "That explains some things."

"Like what?" Jane asks defensively.

"Why you're so scared of letting other people in. You're scared they're going to make you choose between the job and them." Maura observes.

"Well thanks for that diagnosis Dr. Phil." Jane drawls jokingly

Maura looks at her unamused before Jane continues.

"But you're right. I realized that if I had loved her enough, I would have chosen her. And that scared me, knowing that loving someone could make me change my entire life." Jane admits.

"And how do you feel know?" Maura inquires staring back into Jane's eyes expectantly.

"It doesn't scare me so much I guess," Jane shrugs, _because the person I love wouldn't make me choose. _ She adds internally. The whole time their eyes never break contact.

"So how would you define your sexually?" Maura asks moving even closer to Jane, their faces surprisingly only millimeters apart.

"I don't know honestly." Jane admits. "A while after Allison I thought she'd be the only woman I'd ever love or think I loved."

_Maura what is going on? You can't get this close to me and expect me to hold myself back._

"You say that like there should be the word 'but' at the end. Is there another woman you love?" She asks while continuing staring into Jane's eyes and moving her face even closer to Jane's.

Jane begins to panic with inner turmoil. She wants so much to kiss Maura. To tell Maura she loves her. But she can't do that to Julia.

_Damn my conscience. Why do I care so much about her feelings? Because Maura basically explained she's your biggest fan and you are a decent human being who feels bad for her. Did her eyes just move down to my lips? Oh God she wants me to kiss her. I want to kiss her. Her mouth is right there._

Jane begins to close the gap between them.

_I can't._

She pulls back from Maura's face and immediately noticing the hurt in Maura's eyes. She is just about to explain when Maura's phone breaks the silence.

Maura gets up quickly feeling rejected and hurt, but trying to hide it, and heads towards the kitchen to answer her phone.

"Hi Julia." Jane hears Maura say while on the way to the other room.

_Fuck! Now she thinks I didn't want to kiss her. God I really wanted to kiss her. But it isn't right. Not with Julia. I just screwed this all up. I just have to explain to her why I didn't kiss her. Tell her I didn't want her to cheat on Julia._

Jane's thoughts are interrupted when Maura comes back into the room.

"I have to go Jane." She says hurriedly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Maura." Jane tries but the doctor ignores her and grabs her stuff and leaves in a rush.

Jane screams out in frustration. Goes to her fridge and grabs a beer. She chugs it before grabbing another and heading back to her couch.

_One step forward and two fucking step back. What am I supposed to do know? What if Maura doesn't want to talk to me now? I should have just kissed her. She was right there. But it would have been wrong._

_Fuck you conscience._

_There is no way I'm going to sleep tonight and no way I'm beating Julia in that race. Like it even matters._

Jane manages to fall asleep around three with a little help from a few more beers. Tonight is the first time she's drank herself to sleep in a long time and it's just another thing she isn't proud of doing tonight, or rather not doing.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Just going to leave my note for the bottom. Enjoy**

* * *

It's one o'clock when Jane is awoken by her mother shaking her awake.

"Jane. Wake up!" She shouts as she shakes harder.

"I'm up Ma!" Jane yells in return while opening her eyes. She sees her mother staring down at her disappointment evident on her face. "Why are you in my house so early?"

"It's one in the afternoon. I came to start cooking and since you didn't answer your door, I used my key."

"It's one?" Jane exclaims shooting up in a sitting position.

"Yeah." Angela says looking around the room and noticing the empty bottles. "You didn't drink yourself to sleep did you?"

When Jane just looks down ashamed Angela shakes her head and takes a seat next to her daughter. She places a hand on Jane's knee. "Are you feeling okay? Are you hungover?"

"No I'm fine. But I don't think I'm going to go to the race. Can we just cancel today?" She asks sadly remembering what drove her to drink so much last night.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli! You are not skipping out on this race or tonight's dinner just because you had a hard night." Angela scolds.

"Hard night, Ma? You have no idea what happened last night." She shouts.

"And frankly I don't care. You're going to that race and you're coming back here and we are going to have a family dinner. It seems like something you need." Angela says calmly.

"Maura tried to kiss me. And I didn't let her because I didn't want to betray Julia and she thinks I rejected her and wouldn't let me explain." Jane explains sadly.

"Well then go to that race and do what you need to do. And then when you come back here, talk to Maura and tell her what happened." She advises.

"I plan on talking to Maura but I just don't feel like doing this race any more or having this dinner."

"But Janie it's tradition." Angela counters.

"Yeah well I'm not telling Maura I love her with Julia a room over. That definitely can't go well and I still feel bad for her."

"You're the one that invited her Jane. You made your bed, now lie in it." Angela gets up and heads toward the kitchen. She comes back a few minutes later with a trash bag and starts cleaning up Jane's mess from the night before.

"Ma what are you doing?" Jane groans.

"Getting your pig sty of an apartment ready for tonight. Get dressed! The race is in an hour and a half. You better be there." Angela demands.

"But Ma." Jane whines.

"Don't 'but Ma' me Jane. Get dressed!"

Jane groans and mumbles insults under her breath while she heads to her room. She throws on a pair of running shorts and her BPD victim's 5k shirt they gave out for the runners to wear. She slumps down on her bed and lays her head in her hands to process what she is going to do but is interrupted once again by her mother.

"I brought you some Advil and water in case you have a headache."

"Thanks." Jane sighs taking the pills from her mom and downing them with the water.

Angela rubs her back comfortingly. "You will get through this Janie. You're strong. And now you know for sure that Maura feels the same way. You'll fix this is no time."

"I hope so." Jane says while grabbing her shoes and tugging them on. "Alright I'm ready to go run the worst time I've ever run in my life." Jane groans grabbing her keys and heading towards the door.

"Good luck." Angela yells to her just as she shuts the door.

* * *

She's standing at the starting line with the other female participants. Julia is nowhere to be seen causing the detective to let out a breath of relief. She greets the few colleagues she knows and prepares for the start of the race.

The gun signaling the start goes off and Jane takes off at a slow sprint. She's run marathons before so she knows how to pace herself. Well actually she has run one marathon, with Maura. But compared to 26 miles this 5k should be cake. Should be, except for the fact that her hangover is just starting to hit her. She tries to ignore it and keeps running. Being long-legged and a pretty good runner, she manages to keep far ahead of the others.

_I'll finish this race and hurry home to sleep it off before dinner. _She tells herself while she tries to concentrate on ignoring the pain and exhaustion. She never would have thought her concentration in this wouldn't be focused on beating Julia but now she could care less, because she is just concentrating on finishing.

She's almost 2.5 miles in when a familiar voice breaks her concentration.

"Hey Jane. You're fast." Julia commends out of breath and smiling a little too cheerily.

Jane just grunts in response not trusting herself to respond with words at the moment.

"Are you okay? You look a little pale." Julia asks worriedly.

"Yeah." Jane says softly.

"Okay well I'm going to run with you because you look a little weak. Are you sure you're fine?" She asks again.

Jane nods and continues running with Julia next to her keeping a wary eye on her.

They're almost to the finish line when her head splits open with a headache despite the pills her mother gave her this morning. She's feeling dizzy but she doesn't want to give up so she hides her grimace knowing Julia will stop her if she sees her in pain.

The finish line is in sight when she mumbles to Julia to run ahead and take first.

"Are you sure?" She asks still worried about her.

"Yeah." Jane says with as much strength as she can to hide her pain. "You deserve it." She smiles weakly.

"We can do it together." Julia suggests trying not to leave Jane's side. Despite not knowing the detective so well she can tell something is off and she really doesn't want to leave her.

"I'll be right behind you" Jane reassures.

After a few seconds of contemplation Julia decides to relent and takes off preparing to double back and help the detective after she crosses.

Minutes later Julia is crossing the finish line and getting ready to turn around. As she turns she sees her girlfriend expecting her to run up and congratulate her. But then she notices the fear in her eyes and that's when she realizes something has happened. Maura takes off in the direction from which she just came and she follows noticing a body lying limp on the ground a crowd beginning to form around it.

She gulps knowing right away who it is. When she reaches her, Maura is on her knees holding the detective in her lap and assessing her while telling the crowd around her to fetch the EMT's on hand.

"Jane." She says to the lifeless detective trying to wake her to no avail.

She strokes back Jane's hair and feels her forehead. She takes her hand and feels her pulse. Julia notices a tear fall from her eye before Maura shakes her head.

"Someone give me water." She demands. "Cold water. Fast!"

Someone thrusts a water bottle towards Maura who opens it and pours it on Jane's body. She rips her own jacket off and pours the rest of the water on it and drapes it over Jane's forehead.

The EMT's arrive seconds later with a gurney.

"Her pulse is faint. She's having a heat stroke." Maura informs them.

They load Jane onto the stretcher and carry her towards their ambulance.

Julia grabs Maura and hugs her close whispering her apologies to her.

"I'm sorry. I noticed something was wrong and I didn't stop her. She told me to run ahead and I left her. I'm so sorry Maura."

Maura wipes her eyes and starts to head towards her car before Julia grabs her and stops her.

"Hey I'll drive you." She says. "You're in no condition to drive."

Maura relents and follows Julia to her car. The car ride to the hospital is silent while Maura remains tense and shaken in the driver's seat.

Julia grabs her hand when she parks and strokes it reassuringly.

"Maura, she is going to be fine. She was probably just dehydrated."

Maura shakes her head and cries. "It's something else. I'm a doctor. I can tell when something isn't right. This is all my fault. We had a fight last night and so I didn't come to her house this morning. If I had I would have seen something was wrong. I could have prevented this."

"Hey. This isn't your fault sweetie." Julia reassures her. "There is no way you could have known. She will be okay Maura. Come on let's go inside and you can see for yourself."

"I have to call her mom first." She says pulling her phone out of her purse.

Angela answers on the first ring panic stricken. "Maura what happened? I just got a call from the hospital. What's wrong with Jane?"

"I'm so sorry Angela. She passed out during the race. Something is wrong. She had signs of severe heat stroke." Maura says sadly.

"I'm on my way. Stay there with her till I get there please Maura." Angela replies frantically.

"Always." Maura promises before hanging up.

Julia and her head inside and Maura heads up to the nurses' station. "A Jane Rizzoli was just brought in for heat stroke; do you know which room she is in?"

"I'm sorry but until the doctor has seen her, only family is allowed in."

"Please. I'm Maura Isles, one of her emergency contacts. Her mother is on the way she wants me with her until she can get here." Maura begs.

The nurse checks over Jane's file and then smiles to Maura. "She has you down as her power of attorney. She's in room 322." The nurse informs her.

While rushing to the room Julia can't help question why Maura is Jane's health care decision maker instead of her mother.

"Why did she give you power of attorney?" Julia asks.

"I don't know. I guess because I'd make better medical decisions then her mother because I'm a doctor." Maura muses.

Julia knows that isn't the real reason but doesn't say anything else about it. She knows it's something she'll have to address later.

"I'll be out here okay?" Julia tells her when they reach the room Jane is in.

Maura nods before stepping in the room to find that Jane is still unconscious but hooked up to an IV. She pulls a chair up to her and grabs her hand.

_She should be awake by now. Why isn't she awake? I'm so sorry Jane. I should have never tried to kiss you and then I would have been at your house this morning and I could have realized something was wrong. _She thinks stroking Jane's hand.

"Stop it." Jane mumbles.

Maura releases her hand thinking that's what she is referring to.

"Not that. Stop worrying about me and stop blaming yourself Maura." She mumbles with her eyes still closed.

Maura grabs her hand again. "I'm so sorry Jane." She cries. "I could have realized something was wrong and-"

"No you couldn't have Maura." Jane says finally opening her eyes. "It's simple heat exhaustion. I'm dehydrated."

Maura notices she has gotten some of the color back in her face but she sees that the detective hasn't started sweating yet. She knows that's not all the is wrong with her.

"Jane, it's not just that. Something else is wrong." She says sadly.

"I'm okay Maura. I'm in a hospital. They'll fix me up." She smiles weakly at Maura.

"I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologizing." Jane demands.

"But-" Maura begins but is interrupted my Angela entering the room.

"Janie I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have made you run. God that was so stupid of me." Angela says while running up to her daughter and running a hand across her forehead.

"Both of you stop apologizing." Jane says.

"I shouldn't have forced you to go though. You'd been drinking and-"

"You were drinking! How could you be so stupid Jane? You know alcohol can dehydrate you." Maura yells upon hearing Angela's admission.

"I know I'm sorry. I should have drank more water and stopped running when I was feeling sick." Jane says sadly.

"Why would you do something so stupid?" Maura demands.

"Because you make me do stupid things." Jane blurts.

"So it's my fault. I can't believe you. I can't believe I'd blamed myself." Maura says angrily.

"That's not what I meant Maura let me explain." Jane demands as the doctor walks into her room and clears his throat.

Upon his entrance Maura turns and leaves angrily avoiding Jane's pleas for her to come back.

Angela grabs Jane's hand and looks at her apologetically. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"I'll fix it when I see her again." Jane replies indifferently trying to hide the hurt she is feeling inside.

The doctor begins examining her shaking his head at several things causing both Angela and Jane to worry.

"Jane you're running a fever but you're not sweating. You're severely dehydrated." He says while reading over her chart. "You passed out during a 5k?" He asks.

"Yes. I'd like to admit that I had been drinking the night before and didn't drink much water before hand."

The doctor clicks his tongue a few times. "I'm going to run a blood test. I think something else may be wrong." He says while pulling out his stethoscope. He places it to Jane's chest and listens before his facial expression turns into a frown.

"Have you always had an irregular heart beat?" He asks.

"Yeah." Jane replies. "My last doctor just said it was a simple heart murmur. I have to get regular physicals for work."

The doctor just nods. "It could be. After I get back your blood results I may want to do a few tests okay?" He says warmly.

"I'm Dr. Phillips by the way." He introduces rather late. "I want you to rest while you're here. Don't let anything stress you out okay? It may be nothing but I don't want to lie to you, I think there could be something wrong with your heart."

Angela squeezes Jane's hand at this information.

"So anything stressful needs to be avoided just to be safe. Whoever that woman was that just stormed out should not be allowed in if she is going to cause any stress." He warns.

"I don't think she'll be coming back." Jane says sadly.

He nods again. "I'll have a nurse come back in and draw some blood. The tests should take a few hours and then we will go from there. Notify your nurse if you start to sweat or have to urinate, those are good signs." He informs her.

When Jane nods an okay in response he leaves.

* * *

Maura leaves Jane's room as quickly as she entered, grabs Julia's hand and begins leading her out of the hospital. Julia halts and pulls Maura back.

"Where are you going? Why are you leaving?" She protests

"This is her fault. She ran with a hangover, knowing damn well that she could be dehydrated. And then she blamed me. We are leaving." Maura says angrily.

"I'm sure she didn't mean to blame you Maura. Just go in there and hear her out. She's sick. You're not just going to leave her?"

"She'll be fine without me. She has her mother." Maura says entering the elevator, leaving a shocked Julia behind. After exiting the hospital she reaches Julia's car and sighs realizing she has no way home without Julia. But being stubborn, Maura refuses to go back into the hospital and waits outside for Julia to give in.

* * *

Inside the hospital Julia goes up to the nurses' station and begins to talk to one of the nurses.

"Hi. My friend Jane Rizzoli is here. Her girlfriend Maura Isles is preoccupied at the moment but told me to ask you to call her if anything important happens with Jane's case. She is her power of attorney so if there is anything important she needs to know please contact her." Julia asks the nurse.

"Wouldn't Jane tell her if something is wrong with her? We usually only contact emergency contacts to inform them their loved ones are here or to inform them when a patient has taken a turn for the worse. We don't call to update them on patient information." The nurse informs her.

"Yes I realize this is unusual. But Maura worries too much sometimes so Jane kicked her out. She's stubborn and won't tell her anything. She thinks she is protecting her but Maura should know what's happening to her future fiancé. It's sad really; she was planning on proposing tonight." Julia lies hoping a sob story will get the nurse to relent.

"I understand." The nurse sympathizes. "Give me her number, I'll update her personally."

Julia scratched Maura's number down on a piece of paper and hands it to the nurse. "Thank you so much. You may have just saved a relationship." Julia says while heading towards the hospital elevator with a satisfied grin plastered on her face.

* * *

**A/N: Drama bomb.  
**

**Ha and you all loved to hate Julia. What is she planning? And is there something wrong with Jane?**

**I'm excitedly writing the next chapter so it may be out quickly or it may not. But I can promise some big things are going to happen. Follow my tumblog because I think I'm going to start giving previews of the next chapter so that will be good for you guys. I'd also like to interact with you guys. The season premiere was amazing can't wait till the next episode. Reviews are greatly appreciated :)  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Okay we're getting into the home stretch towards what you all are waiting for. I got so many reviews for the last chapter so thank you so much, I'm glad you all enjoyed it and I'm laughing at those who are still wary of Julia.**

**Enjoy and review if you please.  
**

* * *

When Julia arrives at her car she sees Maura standing against the passenger door seething.

"Take me home." Maura demands as soon as she sees Julia walk up.

"Will do." Julia agrees.

She unlocks the door and Maura gets in quickly.

Julia shakes her head and gets behind the wheel and starts the car. Once she's a few miles from the hospital she speaks.

"When we get to your house we need to talk." Julia tells her.

"Fine." Maura huffs angrily leaning her head against the window.

When they pull up to Maura's, she gets out immediately and slams the door leaving Julia behind shaking her head at her childish actions.

She finds Maura in the kitchen already pouring herself a glass of wine.

She approaches Maura with her arms crossed. _The only way to do this is to rip the band-aid off clean and fast. _She thinks before doing what needs to be done.

"I'm breaking up with you." She says starting the conversation off.

"What?" Maura asks almost spitting her wine out. "Why?"

"For starters, for someone so smart, you can be so naïve and stupid." Julia scolds.

"Where do you get off? Get out then." Maura says angrily.

"No. You're going to sit and listen to me." She informs her calmly.

"No I'm not. You're leaving or I'm calling the police."

"Oh will you listen to yourself. You're acting like a child right now. You just left your best friend in the hospital because you're angry." Julia yells.

"It's her fault she's there."

"Hmmm I recall Detective Rizzoli once shot herself to kill a perp and protect her brother. Did you leave her side in the hospital when that happened too?" She demands angrily.

"No." Maura replies bested.

"So what makes this different?"

"A lot of things." Maura replies.

"Nothing. You can't think of anything within that vast knowledge in your brain to explain your actions right now." Julia says calmly.

"So you're breaking up with me because I'm angry at my best friend? Because I've got to tell you we've been through a lot worse."

"No I'm breaking up with you because it's for the best and you know it. Be honest do you even see this being it for either of us?" She asks.

Maura looks down for a few seconds before lifting her head and responding. "It could be. We could make it work." She says sadly.

"No we can't" She sighs. "So you're going to listen to me."

Maura nods sadly.

"I'm also breaking up with you because I like Jane." She continues.

"What?" Maura shouts angrily.

"No wait not that way." She growls. "Just fucking listen to me."

"I'm listening." Maura says angrily.

"Okay. I should have known the day I came to the Robber and saw how Jane reacted to me being there, but I ignored it." She begins.

"And you, I should have known that night you canceled our plans to go to her house and cook for her. But I guess I was in denial or something. But I'm stupid for ignoring it."

"What are you saying?" Maura questions.

"I'm saying I don't want to be second best Maura. I know you love Jane." She says running a hand through her hair.

Maura just sighs defeated. She bites her lip and nods. "It doesn't matter, she doesn't feel the same."

"But that's what I'm trying to tell you. I knew it as soon as that nurse said she put you down as her PoA. She does Maura. She trusts you with her life." Julia explains.

"It's just because I'm a doctor." Maura denies.

"You're a pathologist. I mean yeah you'd be a little better at making decisions than most people but you'd be more help in deciding what happened with her after she dies." Julia replies.

Maura just scowls at her taking offense.

"I'm sorry but I'm just saying she chose you as her power of attorney because she trusts you with her life and she trusts you with her life because she loves you."

"She doesn't!" Maura yells in frustration.

"Will you listen to yourself; I've never seen such a huge case of denial. How are you so sure?"

"Because I tried to kiss her last night." Maura blurts.

Julia just stares at her in shock.

"I'm sorry." She cries out. "It was a mistake. A huge one, because she rejected me. I felt awful because it wasn't fair to you. And I was worried I'd ruined our friendship so I panicked and I left. And that's why I didn't go to Jane's house this morning and make sure she was prepared for the race like I do every year. If I had, I would have seen that she drank and I wouldn't have let her go."

"You can't blame yourself for this Maura." Julia says rubbing her back and consoling her. "I don't harbor any hate for you trying to kiss her. But her not kissing you back doesn't tell you how she feels. I honestly don't know why she didn't but I do know she feels the same way you do."

"You can't know for sure."

"So what? You're an intelligent adult. Stop playing this like a child and talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel or at least talk about the kiss. And if she feels the same then marry her and if she doesn't then stay her friend because you both still care about each other. And I'll be here no matter what." Julia informs her reassuringly.

"I can't go back there right now." She sighs. "I hurt her and I have to think about it."

"Okay." Julia nods. "Think about it, sleep on it. Then go back to that hospital and tell her you love her."

Maura hugs her in response. "Thank you."

"I gave the nurse your number and told her to call you and keep you updated on Jane's health." She says kissing Maura on the cheek. "I'm going to go and leave you to think about what you're going to do."

"Wait." Maura says grabbing her wrist. "Why are you okay with all this?"

Julia shrugs. "I'm a nice person I guess." She smiles. "I meant it when I said I don't want to be your second choice. And I like your first choice, so why should I harbor any anger when you two clearly need help realizing you guys are perfect for each other."

"Thank you. Really, thank you so much." Maura repeats.

"Don't mention it." Julia says leaving Maura in the kitchen to think about what she needs to do.

* * *

At the hospital Jane has started to sweat much to her nurse's and mother's pleasure.

"This is a good sign Ms. Rizzoli." The nurse says. "It means you're rehydrating." She retreats leaving Angela and Jane alone.

"How are you feeling Janie?" She asks.

"Like shit." She drawls.

Angela frowns and pats her hand in response. "Korsak, Frost and Frankie want to visit. Is that okay?"

"I'm not really up for company and I'm not great company myself in this position." She says truthfully.

"They just want to make sure you're okay."

"So tell them I'm fine and I'll be out soon enough. I can't take another barrage of scolding once they find out that I was drinking." She explains.

"Okay sweetie." Angela says patting Jane's knee.

"I'm tired Ma." She yawns. "I'm going to try and sleep a bit okay?"

"Alright." She replies kissing Jane's forehead. "I'll be here when you wake."

After Jane nods off Angela leaves and phones everyone to tell them Jane is okay but in no mood for company. They all agree not to worry as long as she keeps them updated. She is about to return to Jane's sleeping form when her phone rings and she sees that it's Maura.

"What would you like Dr. Isles?" She answers angrily.

"I'm sorry Angela. I shouldn't have yelled at her like that. She's sick. But she just had me so worried. Please tell me she is okay." Maura begs.

"She is doing better. She started sweating which they say is a really good sign."

"That is good. It's really good. That's why I was so worried." Maura replies relieved. "I'll be back soon okay?"

"She's sleeping. And I don't think it's a good idea for you to come back right now. She doesn't really want to see anyone." Angela replies.

"Please Angela. I want to say I'm sorry."

"I know. And I really would like you to come and fix things with her but…" Angela sighs wondering whether she should tell her. "Maura they think something's wrong with her heart. They don't want anyone to stress her out. Which means they don't want too many people in here."

"Angela I'm so sorry. But I need to see her." Maura says almost in tears.

"Maura, I can't let you in here. The doctor said you shouldn't be here. In regards to Jane's health I am going to follow his orders." Angela explains.

"Okay." Maura replies sadly. "Can you just tell her I'm so sorry for what I did? And tell her that as soon as I can see her I will be there."

"Okay Maura."

"And please, please keep me updated on her health." Maura begs.

"If she wants me to, I will." Angela replies. "Take care Maura." She says before hanging up.

Maura cries at the news of Jane's possible heart condition knowing her original fears were correct and hating herself even more for leaving the love of her life behind in a hospital.

Angela has been sitting with her sleeping daughter for an hour before Dr. Phillips returns.

"Hello." He greets. "I'm going to need to wake her up." He explains to Angela who nods in response.

"Jane?" He says waking the sleeping detective.

She sits up groggily and looks to her doctor noticing a sad expression on her face. After allowing Jane time to fully awake, he begins explaining his findings.

"Jane, based on your blood tests, your sodium levels are low. That coupled with your dehydration leads me to believe you have Hyponatremia."

Jane stares at him wide eyed not understanding what he is saying so he goes on.

"The disease itself is not a danger." He begins. "It just means you have low salt and water levels which can easily be managed by drinking more liquids, especially those with electrolytes."

She sighs in relief at the news.

He takes out his stethoscope and listens to Jane's heart again before continuing.

"The problem with Hyponatremia, are the causes. It can be caused by certain kinds of cancers and heart problems, and your murmur leads me to believe it could be caused by the latter."

Jane looks at her mother with worry etched on both their faces. Angela squeezes Jane's hand reassuringly and asks the doctor to continue.

"There are several forms of heart conditions that can cause this. When your doctor found your murmur did he do any tests?" He asks.

"Yeah. He did a stress test on my heart and a chest x-ray before he said it was innocent." Jane informs him.

"Okay. That's a good sign. If he didn't see anything you could just have an irregular heartbeat, but then we'd want to do cancer screenings. If there is something wrong, for the time being your heart is working accurately and it's not having that big of an effect on its ability to function. However if there is something wrong with your heart we will need to repair it since this may not always be the case."

She nods in response.

"Have you had any symptoms that could account for any heart problems? Dizziness, shortness of breath, muscle pain or weakness, chest pain, fatigue, nausea?"

"No." Jane replies.

"Alright. I'm going to take you to do a few more tests. We are going to do an MRI and an echocardiogram just to be sure and after we get a good look at your heart we will go from there okay?"

"What will happen if something is wrong?" Jane asks warily.

"If you have a heart defect we may have to repair it with open heart surgery. I don't want you to worry just yet, if something is wrong it may be minor. Most of your signs are looking good." He says patting her shoulder.

Jane gulps and nods in response not trusting her voice.

"Alright. I'm going to send a nurse in soon to come and get you so we can do the appropriate tests." He informs her before exiting.

Angela gets up and hugs her daughter who is clearly holding back tears and trying to hide the fear in her face.

"I'm so sorry honey. You'll be okay. You're going to be fine. They'll fix whatever is wrong." She says trying to comfort her despite her fear.

"You'll be okay Janie. You're strong. And you heard Dr. Phillips it could be nothing. Don't worry too much okay?"

Jane nods silently right before the nurse arrives with her wheelchair.

"Ms. Rizzoli, we are ready to take you for your exams." She says as she helps Jane out of bed and into the chair.

"I love you Janie." Angela says kissing her on the forehead.

"I love you too Ma." She responds sadly. "Don't tell Maura please, I don't want her to worry." She asks before the nurse wheels her out of the room.

Angela agrees to her retreating daughter before falling back into her chair and letting her tears fall for her oldest child's safety. She inwardly wants to tell Maura about Jane's health, especially since the doctor will be able to give her more facts and possibly comfort. But she follows her daughter's retreating instructions and waits patiently for her return.

* * *

A few hours later Jane returns with a clipboard of papers in her lap and tears in her eyes. The nurse keeps her in the wheelchair at her request and departs leaving her alone with her mother.

When Angela begins to ask questions Jane just shakes her head not trusting herself to speak and fills out the forms on her lap. They sit in silence for a half an hour while Jane writes. A few minutes after she finishes, Dr. Phillips returns. He takes a seat on Jane's bed right in front of Jane, something uncharacteristic for a doctor and that's when Angela's worst fears are confirmed.

"Jane, I want you to know that while this may seem awful, you're very lucky. We caught it before anything worse can happen. You will be happy and healthy after we are done okay?"

Jane nods handing him the clipboard of papers.

"Cleveland has the best cardiac surgeons in the United States and they have preformed thousands of this surgery." He continues to reassure her while checking over her papers.

"Okay. Well the good news is that you're in no immediate danger from this, so we are going to send you home. We will call the Cleveland clinic and schedule your surgery for next Wednesday. Your heart is fine for flying so you can get there by plane. You're going to need to be on bed rest for the next day while you get your strength back after this heat stroke you had. Because of the Hyponatremia and your recent dehydration, you should drink lots of water or preferably something with electrolytes like Gatorade. You can go back to work Tuesday, but being a cop and needing to be in peak physical condition I will be informing your superior to put you on desk duty. After the nurse looks over your discharge papers and files them you can go home." He finishes up his speech, gets up and heads out after squeezing Jane's shoulder reassuringly.

Jane keeps her head down defeated. When Angela tries to speak again Jane just tells her not now.

A few minutes later the nurse comes and retrieves her. She wheels Jane out of the hospital and waits while Angela gets her car. Once Jane is loaded inside and Angela pulls out of the hospital parking lot, Jane breaks down crying and explains everything that's going on to her mother.

* * *

**A/N: We will find out next chapter exactly what's wrong with Jane so be prepared for that. Thanks for reading.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Leaving the note for the bottom. **

**Enjoy and review if you please. (That's becoming a catch phrase, I can feel it).  
**

* * *

Maura Isles has been pacing in her kitchen for the past few hours. She'd take a seat and try to watch TV to clear her mind but then think back to Jane and stand up and pace again. She's been crying off and on for the past few hours since Angela told her about Jane's possible heart condition. She saw the signs and for once she wished she wasn't right.

But they were evident; her not sweating despite being on IV for an hour indicated something more than dehydration and Maura feared it was Hyponatremia. Now she must have been right if the doctors were suspecting heart disease. She's about to head to the hospital despite what Angela told her when her phone rings. It's a number she doesn't recognize but she answers anyways.

"Hello is this Maura Isles?" A woman on the other line asks.

"Yes." Maura responds. "May I ask who is calling?"

"Ms. Isles my name is Carla; I'm a nurse from Mass General."

"Yes. Are you calling about Jane? Is she alright?" Maura asks frantically.

"She is fine. Your friend Julia wanted me to keep you informed about Ms. Rizzoli's condition. This is really against policy giving you information over the phone but given the situation I am willing to tell you." She rambles on.

"I promise you won't get in trouble, I'm her power of attorney and I'm a doctor myself. Please just tell me what's wrong." Maura begs.

"Dr. Phillips has run several tests on your girlfriend's heart." The nurse begins to explain the basics about Jane's heart.

Maura listens, ignoring the reference to Jane as her girlfriend and barely registering the information she is hearing after the words heart and defect are relayed.

"I have to come and see her." Maura demands grabbing her things and preparing to run out the door.

"She has been released, Ms. Isles. She should be on her way home as we speak."

"Thank you so much Carla." Maura explains before saying goodbye to the nurse and heading out the door and driving off towards Jane's apartment.

* * *

When Angela pulls up to Jane's apartment, her tears have subsided.

"Ma I need to be alone for a while okay?" She asks after Angela parks out front.

"But Jane-"

"No buts. I'm fine and healthy enough to be alone and right now it's what I want. Please don't tell anyone until I'm ready. Especially Maura, if she asks just tell her some lie. I don't want her worrying, okay?"

Angela nods in reply and Jane exits the car and heads up to her apartment.

When she gets inside she sees her kitchen is a mess from her mother's interrupted cooking. She sighs to herself and begins to clean up.

Maura arrives thirty minutes later. When she gets into Jane's apartment she finds her in her kitchen scrubbing her counters lost in thought.

"Jane." Maura cries breaking her out of her concentration and causing her to turn around. As soon as she is fully turned she is engulfed in a tight hug by the honey blonde, who begins to cry and apologize.

"I'm so sorry Jane. About everything. About Saturday night, and the hospital. I knew something else was wrong, I knew it wasn't just dehydration. I should have been there. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left."

Jane tries to pull away and stop Maura's crying but her embrace remains tight.

"Maura it's okay. I'm fine, I'm okay. I forgive you." She says reassuringly.

"No you're not." She sobs pulling away. She places her hand over Jane's heart.

Jane grabs Maura's hand in hers and keeps it where it is on her heart.

"I'm fine." She says. "Do you feel my heart? It's fine."

"It's not. Don't lie to me. I know it's not." Maura cries.

"How do you know?" Jane asks.

"Julia told the nurse to call me about you're test results." Maura admits.

Jane pulls away and turns back towards the counter. "That's against the HIPAA agreement." Jane mumbles trying to deflect.

"Would you have told me if that nurse hadn't" Maura asks in a combination of anger and sadness.

"Eventually." She hears from the detective.

"Why are you so stubborn Jane?" She demands angrily. "Why wouldn't you tell me? You make me your power of attorney but then won't even tell me that you have a heart defect. I'm your best friend. I should know these things."

"No you shouldn't." Jane replies calmly. "I'm protecting you; I didn't want you to worry. Now go back to Julia and leave me alone. I want to be alone."

"Julia broke up with me." Maura replies causing Jane to turn back around. "She broke up with me because I love you."

Jane stands shocked staring wide eyed at Maura while she continues.

"I'm in love with you. I have been for quite some time, Jane and I never told you because I was scared. Scared of my feelings, you make me feel things I've never felt. Scared of rejection and ruining our friendship. And I did that. I'm sorry I tried to kiss you; I'll get over how I feel about you if you want. I promise I won't ever hurt you again if you just be my friend again and tell me that you're going to be alright. Because that's all I want to hear right now. I love you and I just want to-"

Maura's ramblings are cut off by Jane's lips crashing against hers. It takes Maura only seconds to process what's going on and kiss back. Their mouths are pressing together roughly while Jane grabs Maura's hips and pulls her tightly against her leaving no space between them. Their lips duel until Jane sucks Maura's bottom lip between her teeth pulling a moan from the honey blonde. She licks Jane's top lip begging for entrance which Jane immediately allows. Instead of lips dueling, it's tongues now, passionately and fierce until air becomes a necessity. They break apart panting and gasping for much needed oxygen while Jane takes Maura's face into her hands.

She pecks the blonde's lips before whispering "I love you too" against her mouth. Maura sighs in relief and presses her lips to hers again this time it's sweet and soft rather than intense. Jane pulls away seconds later and wipes Maura's tear stained cheeks before laying a kiss upon each one. "I've loved you for so long." She mumbles while brush her cheek against Maura's.

"Then why didn't you kiss me yesterday." Maura asks still shocked and confused from the current events.

"I didn't want you to cheat on Julia." Jane explains nuzzling the blonde's nose before pressing another kiss to her lips. "But I wanted to kiss you more than anything in the world."

"I love you." Maura says again.

"I heard."Jane replies smugly. "I love you too."

"I want to be with you."

"So be with me. I'm yours." Jane mumbles against Maura's lips before taking them in hers again. "But we have a lot to talk about." She adds while grabbing Maura's hands in her own.

Maura nods and Jane leads her to the couch. Once they're seated, a silence overcomes them while Jane contemplates where to start.

"What's wrong with your heart?" Maura begins interrupting Jane's thoughts.

"Didn't the nurse tell you?" She asks.

"Only that you had a defect. How serious is it?"

Jane grabs Maura's and pulls them into her lap stroking them lovingly and reassuringly before explaining.

"I have an acquired valve disease. They think it could have been caused by strep throat years ago." Jane starts but stops to calm down a now crying again Maura by pulling her into her arms. "It's okay. I'm okay Maura."

"How did they not find it until now?" She sobs into Jane's chest.

"The doctor said it's not detrimental yet, that because my doctor isn't a cardiologist he wouldn't have noticed it because my stress tests were good and it was too minute to notice in an x-ray. He just thought I had an irregular heartbeat. What happened today was great, because it caused the doctor to realize I had low salt and water levels and he was able to connect that to my murmur and realize it could be more than just an irregular heartbeat." Jane says kissing Maura head.

"I shouldn't have left you; I recognized the signs of something else being wrong. But I got so angry and I left." She continues to cry.

Jane pulls Maura's face up and makes shushing noises before kissing her gently on the lips.

"I'm glad you left, it was bad enough having to stay strong in front of my mom." She reassures her wiping her tears away with her thumbs.

"You don't have to stay strong. This is serious."

"I know. But I'm going to be okay. The doctor says that the defect isn't life threatening right now but we should fix it because my valve can further degrade. And it can still cause complications, because it caused the Hypo whatever it was."

"Hyponatremia." She mumbles sadly.

"Right. Maura this is a great thing. He says it's just a leaky valve and it doesn't require open heart surgery."

Jane takes Maura's hand and places it over her heart. She kisses her cheek before taking Maura's finger and running it over the middle of her chest. "They're going to make a small incision here, no cracked ribs. Just a small incision and a quick repair of my valve."

Maura nods biting her lip. "Minimally invasive mitral valve surgery."

"See. You're a doctor so you know more about it than me. But I do know it's going to be fine. It's not open heart surgery. They don't have to break any bones or hook me up to a heart and lung machine. It's just a quick repair on my valve and I'll be recovered and good as new within 6-8 weeks. I have to go to Cleveland though."

"They have the best and most trained doctors for this type of procedure." She replies finally stopping her tears.

"I want you to come with me." Jane pressures.

Maura smiles though teary eyes. "You want me there?"

"I do. I want you to hold my hand before they take me away. And googlemouth me on statistics of heart surgery. And be there when I come back 2-4 hours later. I want you there when I wake up."

"I will, I promise." Maura pauses a moment before looking Jane in the eye. "On one condition."

"One condition?" Jane raises an eyebrow skeptically.

"You stay with me through recovery. And you do everything I advise." She kisses Jane's pout away before continuing. "No lounging around in your apartment while you're on leave. No ordering from the home shopping network. You stay with me and eat what I serve you and follow all your doctor's orders."

Jane contemplates Maura's demands before kissing her soundly and sweetly.

"Is that a yes?" Maura asks when they break.

"Yes." Jane nods pulling Maura closer to her. "The doctor says I can still work until I have my surgery, but I have to be on desk duty." She says sadly.

Maura snuggles into her. "That's for the best, just to be safe."

"What about this case?"

Maura takes Jane's hand and interlaces their fingers, squeezing reassuringly. "We will go in tomorrow and figure it out. You can work on it from BPD and Frost can handle the rest."

"I have to call Cavanaugh in the morning. The doc has put me on bed rest for tomorrow." She whines.

Maura jumps up and pulls Jane up immediately.

"What are you doing?" Jane asks laughing at Maura's antics.

Maura begins to pull her to her bedroom. Once inside she pushes the detective towards the bed and forces her to lie down.

"Maura I think this is a little early in our relationship. We have a few more things to discuss first." Jane laughs nervously.

Maura crawls into bed next to her laughing. "You're on best rest so I put you in bed."

"I don't think he meant it so literally Maura. As long as I'm relaxed, it's fine." She explains.

"I know but you're probably exhausted aren't you. Dehydration and heat exhaustion cause muscle aches. I could give you another massage and you need to drink lots of water and electrolytes."

"Thank you Doctor Isles." She says sarcastically. "You know that joke doesn't really work well with you being an actual doctor." Jane remarks while Maura rolls her eyes. "I just want to lay here. Lay with me?"

"Absolutely" She responds while cuddling up to the brunette and laying her head on her chest with Jane's right arm protectively around her. They relax in silence while Maura gently strokes up and down Jane's left arm.

"This isn't weird is it?" Jane asks breaking the silence.

"No. Why would it be?" Maura counters.

"A few hours ago we were just best friends. Now you're lying in bed with me after we confessed our love for each other. It seems a little cliché but it's not weird which is why I feel like it's weird."

"It's weird because it's not weird?" Maura laughs in confusion.

"I just never thought this would happen. But now that it has it's so natural." Jane sighs.

"People say the most functioning relationships arise from friendship."

Jane kisses Maura's head. "Then I'm glad I fell in love with my best friend." They both sigh contently at the reality of their relationship.

"I can hear the irregularity in your heartbeat." Maura says softly.

"Maybe that's just my heart skipping a beat for you." Jane jokes. "Wow that was really lame."

"It was." Maura replies bluntly.

"Thank you Maura." Jane drones.

"Besides your heart doesn't skip, it has an extra sound to it not typical of the common lub-dub of a heart." Maura says while pressing her hand to Jane's chest.

"My girlfriend is Wikipedia." Jane drawls.

Maura picks her head up and kisses Jane fiercely on the lips demanding entrance with her tongue to which Jane allows immediately. There is no battle as Maura claims Jane's mouth and draws a moan from the detective before breaking the kiss.

"What was that for?" Jane asks breathlessly.

"I've told you before Wikipedia is not a valid source since its facts aren't vigorously peer reviewed."

"Then I guess I should call you a false information site more often." Jane laughs.

"That was actually because you called me your girlfriend." Maura finally reveals.

"Oh well I just thought. I mean we already said we love each other and we've skipped a few steps so I just assumed that-"

Jane's ramblings are cut off by Maura's lips on hers once again. "I love that I'm your girlfriend." She whispers against Jane's lips staring happily into her eyes.

Jane smiles and pecks her lips before Maura pulls back and lays her head back against Jane's chest. When Jane lets out a deep content sigh and begins to run her finger through her hair, she smiles.

"How long have you been in love with me?" Maura asks.

Jane tenses "How long have you been in love with _me?" _

"That's not how this works. I asked first, you answer first." Maura smiles knowing she's right.

Jane continues running her hand through Maura's hair as she lets out a breath. "Honestly. I don't really know. I don't think there was ever an exact moment. I just always wanted to protect you and just- this is a hard question. Do you know the exact moment you knew you were in love with me?"

"Yes." Maura nods but doesn't go on.

"And?" Jane pushes.

"You still haven't given me a straight answer."

Jane groans. "You're so difficult. Umm I think the first moment I ever looked at you in a romantic sense was- I guess. God this is hard. Okay I guess it was after the Fairfield case. As much as I did suspect Garret had something to do with it, I will admit I was also jealous. And then I realized why I was jealous, because he had you. And then you went out with him to get me that information and that just made me love you more. I felt like you were choosing me over him."

"Always." Maura promises while snuggling deeper into Jane.

"So?"

"Right. Well I think I had always loved you but I didn't realize how I felt until after you shot yourself." Maura explains.

"That long?" Jane gasps.

Maura nods. "I realized how scared I was for your life. And I worked on you until the EMTs arrived." Maura begins to cry recounting the experience. "I rode in the ambulance with you. They tried to kick me out but I fought but Frost convinced them to let me go. And when your mom met me at the hospital she held back her tears just to comfort me. And I realized that you were the most important person to me in this world, and that I didn't know what I'd do if I lost you, because I loved you."

Jane pulls Maura's face up to hers and kisses her with all the love she has. She wipes Maura's tears and continues to peck her lips to calm her down. "I'm sorry I put you through that. I will never do that again. I promise."

Maura nods in response and lays her head into Jane's neck. Jane tightens her hold on the blonde before laughing. "God we are so stupid. We could have been together over a year by now if we weren't too scared to make a move."

"It's human condition to presume and fear what may happen as consequence of our actions. We were both too worried about what would happen if the other didn't feel the same way and let that fear overpower how we felt about each other. But we got here in the end. Even if we needed a few nudges." Maura sighs into Jane's neck pulling a chuckle from the detective.

"Thank God for Julia then huh?"

Maura nods in response pecking Jane's neck.

"What happened exactly anyways? Between you two?" Jane asks curiously.

Maura pulls her head up and looks at Jane. "She is a bit more perceptive I guess. She told me she knew I loved you and that she could tell you felt the same because you made me you PoA. She broke up with me and told me to go for it, and I just did."

"So she wasn't upset?"

Maura shakes her head. "She was yelling at me actually, but because she thought I was being childish for not telling you how I felt."

Jane laughs and shakes her head. She reaches up and tucks a stand of hair behind Maura's ear and cups her cheek. Maura turns toward her hand and places a gently kiss on Jane's wrist. "Our relationship wasn't extremely serious yet anyways and she told me she realized that we weren't it for each other."

"Had you…" Jane trails of embarrassed to ask.

"Had we what?" Maura asks with a curious expression. When Jane shakes her head never mind and bites her lip, Maura thinks she knows what she was going to ask. "We hadn't been intimate yet." Maura explains taking Jane's hand in hers. "We wanted to wait to see if things got serious enough."

"But I ran into her one morning, leaving your house." Jane says questioningly.

"Why were you at my house in the morning?"

"I wasn't I was going for a run and I ended up going down your street subconsciously I guess."

"Oh. Well we had a few glasses of wine because she had a hard case and I didn't want her to drive home until she sobered up some more. But by the time she was sober it would have been really late and so I had her stay in the guest room." Maura explains hearing a sigh of relief from the detective. They lay in silence a little bit longer just content in each others' arms before Maura breaks the silence again.

"What are we going to tell your mother? And everyone else?"

"Something tells me they'll all be overjoyed." Jane laughs.

"How do you know?" Maura asks skeptically.

"Because as soon as Julia walked in the door, everyone turned into Dr. Phil and demanded I tell you how I feel before it was too late." She explains.

"Dr. Phil is a psychologist; I doubt he would have been of much help in our situation."

Jane laughs. "No Maura I meant-"

"I know what you meant. I was just joking."

"I think we need to work on your jokes." Jane laughs kissing Maura's frown away.

"So Angela will be okay with this?" Maura asks to be sure.

"More than okay. But I can't help you if she starts asking you to pick out wedding dresses. She's already asked me about marriage and kids with you several times and we weren't even together yet."

"I like your mom. She'd be a good in law I already think of her as a second mother." Maura shrugs.

Jane flips them so she is on top and kisses Maura roughly on the lips, claiming her mouth easily. She nuzzles their noses after they break and shakes her head. "No weddings yet. And don't say anything to Ma about in laws. Please don't set her off. I just want to enjoy us for a while without her butting in."

"Okay." Maura nods before pulling Jane's head down for another kiss.

Jane smiles and mumbles "someone's eager" against Maura's mouth as she uses it to her advantage and deepens the kiss by slipping her tongue past Jane's lips. She caresses Jane's tongue with hers, causing her to groan in response. Her hands begin an exploration of Jane's body as she moves them up from her hips and under Jane's shirt. Jane grinds down against Maura after she runs her nails along her back causing both of them to moan. Their kiss breaks leaving them both panting as Jane begins to kiss down Maura's jaw.

Her hand travels up Maura's body until she cups her left breast causing the blonde to arch into her hand and moan loudly. Jane grinds down again while squeezing Maura's breast and coaxing a pert nipple to rise. Before she can continue she feels Maura's hand on her wrist pulling her hand away.

She pulls away from Maura's neck and eyes the breathless blonde curiously. "What's wrong?"

"Jane, you need rest. I don't want to do this until you feel better." Maura explains through pants.

"I'm fine Maura. The doctor said I can go about normal activities."

"This isn't about your heart. You just got out of the hospital." She kisses a frowning Jane before continuing. "I just want you to get some rest first okay. I'm pretty sure the doctor's orders of bed rest didn't mean this." She says while looking down at their tangled bodies.

Jane sighs in defeat and rolls off Maura pulling her into her side. "I am kind of tired." She yawns.

"Good. Get some sleep." Maura says nestling into her.

"Be here when I wake up?" Jane asks sleepily.

"Always." Maura replies kissing the brunette's cheek and whispering "I love you" against it.

"I love you too." Jane murmurs happily.

They fall asleep in the same bed like usual, but tonight they sleep tangled in each others' arms.

* * *

**A/N: ****It's kind of surreal, actually getting to this point, that it almost made this impossible to write. ALMOST. But I did it, so hopefully you guys like it because I'm kind of indifferent. And I shouldn't be because this is where this story has been heading all along but I just feel indifferent. Which is why I'd love any feedback on this chapter you'd like to leave, because I'm really getting to point where any and all criticism is greatly appreciated so long as it makes me a better writer and you're not outright saying I suck (because that would hurt my feelings...well not really but yeah, let's pretend I'm sensitive).  
**

**I also may be looking for a Beta. I don't really know how that works but I think I'd like someone to help me out because I mean it when I say this is getting harder to write. (This story had been greatly planned up to this point and aside from a few more things I have cooking up in my brain most of the time from here on out I'll be winging it.) So if anyone would like to help me out feel free to PM me.**

**Thanks for all your reviews and alerts, they're greatly appreciated.  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This is hardly the end of the story so don't worry about that. We've got a long way to go and I have a few more things in mind but updates may not be as quick as before. And sorry for any mistakes that I'm sure are below, I only ready through this once.  
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**Also h****ow about that episode Tuesday? Amazing or amazing?  
**

**Anyways enjoy and review if you please.  
**

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Maura wakes before Jane. Checking the clock she sees she has an hour to get to work. She stares at Jane's sleeping form and contemplates whether to wake her and tell her she's got to go home to get ready. She gets lost staring at the woman she loves looking so peaceful and decides to stay in bed with her another ten minutes. After her time has passed she untangles herself from Jane's grasp and removes brunette tresses from her face before kissing her awake.

Jane groans in her sleep but doesn't move. She laughs at Jane's stubbornness and continues her trail of kisses along Jane's law. "Jane honey" she begins before laying a gentle kiss on the brunette's lips "I have to go home and get ready for work, but I don't want you to wake up and wonder where I am."

Jane opens her eyes and grabs Maura pulling her close. "Skip work today."

"I can't. I need to go over my report on Jessica. We have no leads on her case."

Jane groans and shakes her head before turning away from Maura. Sensing her disappointment from the case Maura cuddles up next to Jane protectively.

"I know you can't work right now. But I'm going to do my best to find something okay?" She whispers reassuringly in Jane's ear. When Jane nods in response she kisses her neck and gets out of bed. "I've got to go home. I'll be back as soon as I get out of work."

"Get ready here. I have some of your clothes from when you've spent the night and slept in mine." Jane mumbles sleepily.

Maura contemplates this for a minute until she hears "Please baby. For me?" and her resolve crumbles. She walks over to Jane and kisses her receiving a content sigh in return.

"I need to shower though." Jane opens her eyes again at these words and smirks suggestively. "Without you." Maura finishes causing Jane's smirk to drop into a frown before heading off towards the shower.

Twenty minutes later she comes back out of the bathroom clad only in a towel and heads toward Jane's closet to find something to wear.

"Maura." Jane groans.

"What." She shouts from the closet.

"Stop teasing me."

Maura reemerges with a dress and frowns at her love. "How am I teasing you?"

"You're in my bedroom naked and I can't even have you." Jane cries.

Maura laughs out a sorry in response and returns to Jane's bathroom to finish getting ready.

When she comes back into the bedroom Jane is sitting on the edge of her bed groggily rubbing her eyes. Maura walks up to her, pushes her hair out of her face and stares down at her smiling brightly.

"What's got you so happy?" Jane asks.

"Because I remembered I can do this." She replies at she leans down and kisses her girlfriend sweetly on the lips.

Jane takes advantage of her position and lays back pulling Maura on top of her smiling smugly against Maura's lips. As Maura laughs at her antics teeth crash together until Jane deepens the kiss. "Jane" Maura scolds after they break apart. "I'm going to be late."

Jane growls and pulls Maura tighter against her.

"Really I have to go." Maura explains regretfully pulling herself off the detective. "I promise I will be back soon. Get some rest. I'll call Cavanaugh for you. Eat a good breakfast please."

"Yes, Ma." Jane grumbles until she notices the frown on Maura's face

"Don't make me call your mother." She scolds.

"I'm just kidding." Jane says in truce.

"You better be." Maura says while planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Hey. I think we should tell everyone tonight. I can meet Ma at your house later tonight and help her make dinner. You invite Frost and Korsak and just tell them we are having a Sunday dinner do-over."

"Okay. Sleep some more and then call your mom. What should I say to Frost and Korsak if they ask where you are? You know I can't lie and they should know about your heart."

"Tell them the doc put me on bed rest for the day, it's not a lie. I'll tell them tonight at dinner, okay?" Jane asks while settling back into bed while Maura nods in response.

"Now get to work." Jane shoos.

Maura laughs and kisses Jane one last time before leaving 10 minutes late for work, good thing she's the boss.

* * *

When Jane reawakes two hours later she begins feeling around her bed looking for Maura only to find it cold and empty. It takes her a few seconds to remember this morning.

_Get it together Jane. You haven't even been together 24 hours and you've become a needy girlfriend._

She gets out of bed and heads toward the kitchen but stops when she hears her phone chime. She retrieves it from her nightstand to see a text from Maura.

_You better eat breakfast and drink lots of water –Maur_

Jane laughs before texting back.

_How did you know I was awake?_

She heads into the kitchen to follow her girlfriend's demands and prepares herself some healthy, grade-A Cocoa Puffs. She pulls out a water to drink and heads into the living room to watch some TV. After sitting her phone chimes again.

_I didn't, but now I do so eat. And call your mom._

_I'm eating, I promise. I'll call Ma when I'm done. So bossy_

She continues eating while surfing through channels to find something on. She chooses a movie and finishes her breakfast before another message comes.

_I'm just making sure you stay healthy –Maur_

_I know baby. I'm eating. Have you talked to Frost and Korsak?_

Jane takes her dishes to the kitchen and washes them while she awaits Maura's next text. When it comes the notification sound barely finishes before she is reading Maura's response.

_They're going to come. I told them seven. Call your mom, I have to work –Maur_

_Okay. Bring your report home tonight so I can have a look please._

She calls her mom as soon as she sends the text.

"Janie. How are you? I was just about to come over." Angela says upon answering

"I'm fine Ma. You don't need to come over. I'm actually calling because I want to have dinner at Maura's tonight to make up for Sunday. "

"Maura's? So you guys are okay?"

"Yeah Ma, we're okay." She says while smiling.

"Janie, was Maura at your house last night? She wasn't here when I got home."

"Yeah. Look I'll explain everything tonight okay. I'll meet you at Maura's at 5:30 so we can start cooking okay?"

"Alright. But you will tell me how things are with you and Maura while we cook." Angela demands.

"Fine Ma."

"And you better be drinking water and resting today."

"I am Ma!" She yells frustrated. "You and Maura. I swear."

"We're just looking out for you."

"Yeah yeah. I'm gonna relax okay. I'll meet you at Maura's at 5:30."

"Okay, I love you Janie."

"Love you too Ma." She responds before hanging up and returning to her movie.

After her movie ends she falls asleep on the couch. She wakes up feeling a kiss to her forehead. She opens her eyes to see Maura standing over her.

"Hey." Maura whispers with a smile on her face.

"Hi." Jane smiles in return. "What time is it?"

"3:30"

"What are you doing here so early?" She questions sitting up.

"Well I went over the autopsy several times and I'm sorry I didn't find anything new." She says sadly. Jane sighs frustrated. "I don't want you to get worked up yet. Frost has had a few tips that may pan out. And I brought you the report, even though you should be relaxing." She explains sweetly.

Jane just nods patting the couch for Maura to sit down.

"I brought you Gatorade." Maura says pulling a bottle from the grocery bag she sat down on the table before waking Jane.

"Thanks." Jane says taking the drink from the blonde limply.

Maura kisses Jane's cheek. "Hey. Don't worry so much. We'll figure this one out. We always do."

"I'm just so worried that this is going to be the case that breaks us. That this is the one we can't solve."

"I understand. But the best thing you can do right now is take care of your health and get better so you can come back to work and get the bad guys." Maura says taking Jane's hands in her own and massaging her scars.

"My mom asked about us today." Jane laughs changing the subject.

"Mhmm." Maura hums bringing Jane's hand to her mouth and kissing it.

"I don't know why that surprises me honestly. She's the queen of nosey."

"She's your mom. She loves you and wants you to be happy."

"She does." Jane sighs. "She's worried about me too."

"We all are."

"That's why I really don't want to tell everyone about my heart." Jane says sadly. "It's hard enough for me to accept it. But it could be worse and I just don't want to think about it until Wednesday."

"But I mean it is something that's important." Maura points out.

"I realize that. I do. Trust me I understand how worried you are about me but…" Jane pauses and shakes her head.

"Tell me." Maura begs squeezing Jane's hands while pulling them into her lap.

"I'm scared about something going wrong. I mean I've been shot before and had surgery before. But when I shot myself I didn't think about the repercussion I just did what I thought would save my brother. And then I woke up the next day in the hospital, surgery already done and recovery waiting for me. And yeah the pain was unbearable at times, but I can handle it. I'm just worried something will go wrong."

Maura pulls Jane's face towards hers and kisses her. "You trust me right?"

"With my life." Jane responds immediately.

"Then you have to trust me when I say everything will be okay. I don't lie. So I'm not lying now. I can't prove to you that nothing will go wrong. I can't even _promise_ you that nothing will go wrong. But I can give you facts every night and when we go to Cleveland I can hold your hand until they take you away and when you return to me sleeping peacefully and good as new, I'll be there when you wake up."

"I still don't want to think about it." Jane sighs sadly.

"So when we tell them about your surgery, we can tell them not to treat you differently. That everything will be fine and you just want everything to be normal and you don't want to think or talk about your surgery all the time.."

"Okay." Jane breaths out.

"Fact number one: the mortality rate from general anesthetic is only 5-6 cases per million people." Maura says reassuringly.

Jane smiles, kisses her softly in thanks and murmurs "I love you."

She pulls Maura close to her and lies down on the couch with Maura lying on top of her. "Lie with me until we have to go to your house."

Maura snuggles into Jane after whispering "I love you too" and puts the discovery channel on. They don't really pay much mind to it when they have each other for entertainment. When five rolls around, they get up and get ready to head to Maura's house. Jane tries unsuccessfully to coax Maura to come shower with her but the doctor just kisses her and shoos her into the bathroom without her.

When they get to Jane's car Maura takes her keys, insisting on driving. Jane takes a deep breath knowing she has to tell her mother. She doesn't know why she's nervous. Angela will be happy for them but everything seems so surreal now and telling everyone tonight is going to make it so real. And it's not like she doesn't want that. But she can't help that finally being with the woman she's loved for over a year will come with a catch. And that's why she is _really_ scared of this surgery. She is not scared of the pain or the risks so much as the consequence of something going wrong and leaving behind the only person she has ever _really_ been in love with. Because she just _knows_ that life will come and ruin the only thing that makes it worth living. She's scared that now that she has the only thing she has ever wanted in life, something is bound to go wrong and right now she's pretty sure that her heart surgery is the biggest factor at risk of ruining her life. Jane is so deep in thought that she doesn't realize they're at Maura's till Maura grabs her hand.

"Hey. We're here. Is everything okay?" Maura asks concerned.

"Yeah." Jane responds kissing Maura softly to solidify her answer. "You ready?"

Maura nods and they exit the car and head up to the front door of Maura's house. When they reach the door Maura can see Jane tense. She pulls Jane to her tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "What's got you so worried?"

"I don't know. I just- I've wanted this for so long and now that we're together I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing."

"You're doing fine." Maura says. When Jane doesn't relax she pulls her closer and kisses her until she feels Jane relax. "Come on, I've got to meet my mother-in-law." Maura says with a wink.

"Was that a joke Maura?" Jane asks half laughing half panicking.

"Maybe." Maura draws out pulling Jane inside.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: A long chapter for you guys. I just want to thank you guys for your reviews of last chapter, I was a little hesitant with it but you all really made me feel a lot better about it. We've got a few big things coming up. I haven't began the next chapter yet but I know where I'm going from here so hopefully not much changes in between thinking about it and writing about it.**

**Enjoy and review if you please.  
**

* * *

When they walk inside Angela is already in the kitchen preparing to cook.

"Hey Ma. We're here." Jane says while walking towards the kitchen to greet her mother.

She stops her tasks and walks over to her daughter and gathers her in her arms. Jane scowls at Maura before pulling away from her mother. "Ma no more hugging. I don't want this to change anything."

"Fine Janie." Angela huffs before returning to the kitchen.

Jane looks at Maura questioningly before sneaking a kiss to her cheek. "I'm going to cook with my mother and tell her about us while we work. I suggest you hide while I tell her since she will probably head off for the wedding magazine's as soon as I tell her." Jane warns. When Maura laughs Jane shakes her head and says "I'm serious. Hide now before it's too late. Save yourself."

Maura whispers "good luck" in Jane's ear before going into the kitchen to grab some strawberries and leaving to find Bass.

Jane goes into the kitchen and washes her hands before asking her mother what she needs her to do.

"Can you bread the chicken?"

"Sure thing." Jane says before beginning her task.

"So I figure I'll tell you before everyone else because I know you're dying to ask." Jane begins. "Maura and I are together."

"I knew it. As soon as I noticed she wasn't home yesterday. I knew it." Angela shouts as soon as the words leave her lips. "Where is my future daughter-in-law?"

"Ma!" Jane yells "No. Just no. Not yet. Just wait a few months at least please." She chastises.

"Fine." Angela relents. "Constance will be happy."

"What do you mean Constance will be happy?" Jane asks stopping what she's doing and turning to her mother.

"We talk Jane."

"Yes that's fine. But you're talking about Maura and I?" She asks suspiciously.

"No, but last time she was down she was here a little while after Maura went to see you. We got to talking and she confessed to me that she thought you and Maura were a sure thing." Angela explains.

"What?" Jane gasps with her mouth agape.

"Don't act so shocked Janie. What parent wouldn't love you with their child, I raised you."

"Wow Ma, way to be humble." She mutters returning to her task of breading chicken.

"I'm just saying." She shrugs.

"This is great though. I mean Maura was upset Constance didn't like Julia, this explains why."

"What happened to Julia anyways?"

"She broke up with Maura and told her to tell me how she felt. I invited her to dinner tonight by the way. We owe her so much."

"That we do. I was beginning to think there was no hope for you and Maura. I wonder if she is strictly interested in women. We could hook her up with Frankie." She muses.

"Ma no." Jane groans.

"She's bisexual, I could see it." Maura adds walking into the kitchen.

"Maura! Don't encourage her."

Angela and Maura just laugh while Maura whispers "I'll tell Frankie to go for it" in Angela's ear.

"Ugh I just can't believe you two." Jane complains throwing her hands up in defeat. Maura walks up next to Jane and nudges her.

"Lighten up." She whispers in her ear.

"Are you really telling me to lighten up? You? The walking encyclopedia of literal is telling me to lighten up."

"Hey that's no way to talk to your future wife." Angela quips.

"Okay. I'm done. I'll be back after you two learn to control yourselves." Jane rinses her hands off and leaves a laughing Maura to finish her job with the chicken while she heads into the living room to put on ESPN.

"So, I guess now that you're dating my daughter I've got to give you the mama bear speech." Angela declares.

"Oh yes. The proverbial you hurt her, I hurt you speech. Let me have it." Maura responds in true interest.

"Sometimes I can't get over you Maura. But I guess you get where I'm going with this." Angela says while walking over to Maura and hugging her. "I've told you before I think of you as a daughter. I know Janie doesn't want us talking about marriage or anything yet. But I want you to know there is no one I'd rather my Jane to be with, and you'll make a wonderful daughter-in-law."

"Thank you Angela." Maura responds sincerely hugging her back.

When Maura finishes breading the chicken she asks if Angela needs any more help.

"No. Go spend time with Janie. And bring her this please. I know the doctor said she needs to keep hydrated." She says handing Maura a Gatorade from the fridge.

Maura heads into the living room to find Jane on her couch watching football. She takes a seat next the brunette and hands her the Gatorade.

"Your Ma says Drink." She explains while handing it to her.

Jane huffs before taking it and taking a sip. "You guys and Gatorade, you might as well become the new spokespersons."

"It's either that or Pedialyte." Maura shrugs.

Jane rests her head against Maura's shoulder calmly until the ball is snapped and Brady throws it cleanly through the inside to Deion Branch. She picks her head off Maura's shoulder and begins shouting "Go go go" as he gains 18 yards before being tackled by Ike Taylor. "That's what I'm talking about." Jane shouts.

Maura just shakes her head at her antics. Jane's excitement turns into grumbling after a handoff to Addai only gains two yards and Brady's pass is no good. While they line up at the line of scrimmage for third down, Maura laughs to herself.

"What's so funny?" Jane asks.

"Their form. Brady's leaving himself wide open on his left. Polamalu's going to make it right through the offensive linemen on the left and sack him." Just as Maura finishes her prediction, the ball is snapped and Polamalu comes barreling through the offense taking Brady down before he has any chance to toss the ball away.

Jane stares wide eyed at Maura completely speechless. She's broken out of her stupor when the crowd on TV cheers after a successful field goal attempt on behalf of the Patriots.

"Maura!" Jane exclaims. "Where did that come from?"

"What? It's a simple implementation of strategy and determination of weakness." She shrugs.

"We watch football all the time. You've never said anything before."

"It was cute to watch you get excited. But I figured I'd let you down before the disappointment could come this time."

Jane pulls Maura into her and kisses her passionately. "I love you" she sighs "you never cease to amaze me and make me love you even more."

Maura smiles and pecks Jane's lips before she releases her. "Yeah well you're going to hate me when I tell you I always secretly root for the Steelers."

"What? Maura how could you?" Jane asks feigning anger.

"My first boyfriend was a fan." Maura explains. "I was interested in the strategy of the game and the spirit of competition. I became secretly hooked."

"You're from Boston Maura. You're obligated to root for the Pats."

"Nope, you can't change me. The Steelers are the best team in the league." Maura states truthfully

Jane just scoffs and returns to watching the game.

When the doorbell rings an hour later, both of them motion to get up. Jane pushes Maura to sit. "I've got it babe." She says giving the honey blonde a kiss before heading to answer the door.

When she opens it she is engulfed in hugs by her brother, Frost and Korsak who all arrived at the same time.

"Hey, we brought beer." Frost says while moving inside.

"Good to see you're doing well Janie." Korsak adds.

"You feeling better sis?" Frankie asks receiving a nod from the detective. "Good, maybe we can have a go of one on one after dinner."

"No rough housing." Angela yells from the kitchen.

"And no beer." Maura says while joining everyone in the entry way and removing the case from Frosts hands.

"Hey." Frost and Korsak interject immediately.

"Sorry, if Jane can't have it no one can." Maura defends.

"Maura!"Jane yells angrily.

"Why aren't you drinking Janie?" Korsak asks.

"Oh no. You're not pregnant are you?" Frankie questions.

"Explains the fainting yesterday." Frost inputs.

"Thank you very much Maura." Jane says sarcastically. "I'm not pregnant and I did not faint Frost. I was dehydrated and passed out from heat exhaustion."

Maura mouths sorry to Jane and hides in the kitchen with Angela.

"Okay well I was going to wait till dinner when everyone was seated and calm to tell you this. But Maura just threw those plans right out the window." Jane growls angrily. "I'm just gonna say this calmly and quickly and then we are going to all be okay with it and have a nice dinner and nothing is going to change okay?" Jane asks before continuing. When everyone nods in response Jane begins her explanation.

"While I was in the hospital the doctor found a defect with my heart. I have acquired valve disease and it's going to require surgery to repair."

"Janie I'm so sorry." Korsak begins.

"No. None of this. I'm fine. The defect isn't life threatening but they want to fix it because my valve could further degrade if it goes untreated. It's still heart surgery but the recovery time is greatly reduced. I have to have it done in Cleveland but I'm going to be fine and back off desk duty in a month and a half. So we aren't going to treat me any differently okay?"

Everybody agrees hesitantly.

"Okay. I'll be working until Monday and then Maura and I will be flying to Cleveland to have my surgery. I'll be in ICU for a day and then the cardiac ward another 4 days and then we're going to fly back. I'll be in recovery for however long it takes until the doctors clear me for work, but I trust Maura will have me better faster than normal." Jane smiles to the doctor who is still hiding in the kitchen.

"And how does Julia feel about this?" Frost asks.

Jane is about to call Maura over and explain the good news to everyone when the doorbell rings again. Jane walks over and answers it.

"Hi Jane." Julia greets cheerily kissing the detective on the cheek.

"Hey glad you could make it." Jane responds with absolutely no underlying malice or sarcasm.

"Did you just see what I saw?" Frost whispers to Korsak after witnessing the affectionate greeting.

Korsak nods. "Are we missing something?" He whispers back. Frost shrugs.

"Alright guys. Now that everyone is here, let's eat." Angela shouts from the kitchen. "Frankie come help me set the table."

Jane takes a seat at the table next to Maura while Julia sits on the other side of her. Frost and Korsak sit across from Jane and Maura leaving the two ends of the table for Frankie and Angela. After they all join hands and say their blessings, they begin a conversation among themselves while they enjoy their food,

Maura slips her hand under the table and takes Jane's hand in hers. Jane squeezes her hand reassuringly.

"Okay guys. I have an announcement." Jane begins clearing her throat. "I invited you all here to tell you about my heart condition but I also have some good news too."

"We have good news." Maura interrupts while pulling their hands from beneath the table.

"I'd like to thank you all for giving us each the few pushes we needed, because Maura and I are together." Jane announces through a grin.

She hears "finally" and "it's about damn time" from Frost and Korsak, before they mumble out congratulations. Frankie remains wide-eyed at the end of the table staring suspiciously at an overjoyed Julia.

"Not that I'm not happy, because trust me I am. But can I ask how this happened and why Julia is just as happy about it as all of us?" Frankie finally asks.

Julia shrugs. "I realized how these two felt about each other and I wasn't going to stand in the way."

"That's not all you did." Maura adds while grabbing her and hugging her. "Thanks for telling me what I needed to hear."

"Don't mention it." Julia smiles. "As long as you guys don't become strangers."

"You might as well be part of them family." Angela announces happily.

"Why thank you Angela, I really appreciate that." Julia says appreciatively.

After dinner Korsak offers to help Angela clean up. Jane and Julia head off to the living room to watch the game highlights and Maura, Frost and Frankie remain at the dinner table talking.

"So, I just wanna say congrats Maura. You make my big sister really happy and you guys are really great together. I'm happy for you guys." Frankie commends her.

"Thank you Frankie. It really means a lot." Maura replies.

"I gotta tell you. I was beginning to think it would never happen." Frost interjects.

"Well thanks to a final push from Julia we managed." She smiles while stopping to admire her girlfriend chatting with Julia in the living room.

"Yeah, so Julia seems like a great girl." Frankie notes.

"She is." Maura smiles. "I don't know if you've heard but she's recently single, and I think she may be interested in the Rizzoli charm." She half jokes.

"Wouldn't that be kind of weird?" Frost asks. "Julia kind of looks like Jane."

"What?" Maura laughs.

"Are you seeing things?" Frankie questions. "I mean yeah they have the dark hair and raspy voices, but that's really it."

"Julia is Spanish not Italian, she has a more olive skin tone, and she's definitely more filled and not as leggy." Maura explains

"Okay. Maybe it was just Korsak and I imagining, but Maura you definitely have a type. But, you go for it then Frankie. Maybe I am just seeing things." Frost shrugs.

"I think you should ask her out."

"You think so Maura?" He asks receiving a nod from the blonde. "I'll think about it."

* * *

In the living room Julia and Jane converse while watching the highlights.

"You a Pats fan?" Jane asks.

"Tried and true." Julia testifies making a scouts honor gesture.

"I knew there was something I liked about you." Jane laughs. "Maura on the other hand. We may have to do something about her. She's gonna be on her high horse if she learns about the Steelers victory tonight. So we should keep that between us."

"Keep what between us?" Julia asks getting an approving smirk from the detective.

"So I really do want to thank you personally. For everything. You're really amazing and there are just no words to thank you for the things you've done for me and I barely even know you."

"Like I said before, don't mention it. But you can easily get to know me." She smiles extending her hand. "Julia Fields, Boston Homicide A.D.A., recently single, Boston born and raised. I was supposed to be a partner at Fields, Fields and Marlow by now but I figured I'd save them from having to put another 'Fields' in the name and do something that benefits the true notion of justice. I'm by no means perfect but I try my best to be a good person, and I just recently beat my hero Jane Rizzoli in a 5k."

Jane bursts out laughing. "Yeah I think we may have to have a rematch when I'm all healed."

"I'm glad you're gonna be okay Jane. I understand that you don't want anyone to treat you any differently so let's just settle this now and have a private race." She jokes.

"I'd rather not have Maura put me in the doghouse until at least a week after being together." Jane laughs. "But you're welcome to try my brother in a game of one on one. He might let you win, since you said you broke up with Maura to let us be together, he hasn't taken his eyes off you."

"Hmm I think I'll play hard to get a little bit first." She says while winking at the detective. "Let him come to me."

"Just beware. My Ma will be on you about planning weddings as soon as you say yes to a second date." Jane cautions.

"As masochistic as it may seem to you, I actually wouldn't mind an overbearing mother figure in my life. My family was always hands off and they still haven't forgiven me for skipping out on the practice." She explains solemnly.

"You're welcome here anytime." Jane says squeezing Julia's hand. "I know Maura and I really enjoy your company. Frankie and Ma love you too. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely impressed by your career. You're going to make a great D.A. soon."

"Thanks, it means a lot."

Jane nods. "Well here comes my brother, I'll let you guys get better acquainted." Jane says while getting up and heading out of the living room to find her girlfriend.

She's stopped in the dining room by Frost.

"Hey Jane. I'm gonna head out okay?"

"Wait, Maura brought me the autopsy report on Jessica. You wanna take a look at it with me?" Jane asks halting his exit.

"Yeah sure." He shrugs.

Jane retrieves the file and takes a seat next to Frost. They're going through it for a fourth time when Maura joins them. She takes a seat next to Jane and begins rubbing her back affectionately when she sees her tensing with frustration.

"There really isn't anything. No DNA trace, nothing abnormal except for her injuries that must have been sustained during that period of time we have no idea what she was doing. This is so clean it'd have to have been a professional hit or some mafia shit." Jane says angrily.

"Wait. Maybe that's it." Frost exclaims. "How does a 17 year old girl up and move to one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. without steady income? She was probably doing something underground. Let me see the file."

Jane hands him the file and looks to Maura curiously receiving a nonchalant shrug from the blonde.

Frost opens up the file and flips through it. "This tattoo" he says pointing to it and showing Maura, "is it the only one she has?"

"Yeah. It's a rosary. Jane said her parents were religious. Rosaries are religious artifacts used to count prayers on-"

"Maura we know what rosaries are." Jane interrupts. "But from what we saw of her parents, I'd doubt they'd allow her to have a tattoo, they kicked her out just by someone accusing her of have premarital sex."

"This is over her chest right?" Frost asks.

Maura nods. "Above her left breast."

"For some, rosary tattoos represent protection. Maybe she was part of a gang. It would explain her injuries possibly sustained during initiation rituals. She could have been someone important to the gang, so they tattooed her as an attempt to protect her." Frost explains.

"So they want to protect her and then they kill her." Jane drawls.

"She left to join the army when she was 18. Some gangs don't take too kindly to people leaving, especially someone doing so to join the other side."

"'blood in, blood out.' It explains why she was so scared to come back." Jane elaborates.

"It all fits. I know a guy who knows a thing or two about tattoos; we can have a talk with him tomorrow and show him this picture. If anyone could figure out who she was affiliated with, it would be him."

"No. there is no we, you're going to have to go with Korsak because Jane is on desk duty until she is back in peak physical health. Right Jane?" Maura says patting her leg.

"Right." She grits through her teeth.

Frost looks at her apologetically before rising. "I think I should head home. I'll see you tomorrow Jane and again I'm happy for you guys."

Jane hears Frost thank Angela for the meal and tell her it was delicious before Korsak agrees that he should head home too and they say their goodbyes and head out. Once they are gone Jane slumps in her chair and sighs dejectedly.

"I'm sorry you're on desk duty but it really is for the best. And you've made some progress in the case just now. Frost and Korsak will figure this one out and you will be safe and healthy. Everything is a win-win." Maura explains encouragingly.

Jane just nods.

Maura stands and kisses Jane on the cheek. "I love you." She says against her cheek. "So please, for my sanity just do as the doctor advises and stay safe."

Jane frowns caught between the love of her job and her love for Maura but places a chaste kiss on her lips and says "I promise" to her in return.

It's been an hour since everyone left. Angela went to the guesthouse shortly after Frankie and Julia went home, leaving Maura and Jane in the living room sitting on opposite ends of the couch.

"Tonight went well." Maura says.

"It did." Jane agrees.

"Stop being so pouty."

"I'm not pouty. I don't pout." Jane denies.

"Mhmm." Maura hums. "It's not true what they say about frowning you know? That is requires more muscles than smiling. Smiling takes one more muscle than frowning. However I'd rather you give your face a workout because you're kind of boring when you're sitting with me alone on my couch pouting. Especially when you're all the way on the other side"

Jane smiles at Maura's attempt to cheer her up she grabs her hand and pulls her across the couch towards herself and almost into her lap. Jane kisses her fiercely on the lips. She runs her tongue along Maura's lips coaxing a moan from the blonde and causing a pang of arousal to shoot through her core.

When they break Maura smiles against Jane's lips breathless from their intense kiss. She notices Jane's eyes have darkened considerably and moans internally at the site of her girlfriend. "You're aroused." She pants out.

Jane laughs at Maura's bluntness and takes her lips in hers again. This time Maura deepens the kiss. She leans into Jane and takes control. Jane's hands travel under Maura's blouse. She places a palm flat against her stomach and both moan at the contact. They each get lost in the kiss, breaking only momentarily once in a while for air. Jane begins to grab at Maura's blouse growing more and more agitated by the amount of fabric in between her and her love.

Just when she is about to remove the offending article she is interrupted by the sound of someone clearing her throat. They separate immediately.

"I'm so sorry. I just came in to grab a glass of water. I'll just go." Angela says embarrassed.

Jane growls in frustration and hides her embarrassed and angry face in Maura's neck. "Thanks Ma. Just get your water and go."

"Jane, be nice to your mother. This is where she lives too and this is a public area of the house, she didn't mean to interrupt." Maura scolds.

"Thank you Maura. I'll just grab my water and let you two get back to..." She trails off, grabbing her water and heading out hastily.

"Well that killed the mood." Jane groans.

"Maybe next time we shouldn't do this in the living room." Maura suggests.

"Yeah well I can't help it when you provoke me."

"I provoke you?" Maura asks defensively. "How do I provoke you?"

"You know what you're doing." Jane answers.

"No I don't. Do tell."

"You're being you."

"Why thanks. I'll try to be someone else next time to help you control your sexual desires more efficiently." Maura drones.

"Was that sarcasm? Did Maura Isles just use sarcasm on me?" She grabs the blonde and pinches her playfully garnering a squeal from the blonde. They both laugh at their childish antics. "You never cease to amaze me." She admits garnering a smile from the blonde.

Jane stares happily at her girlfriend loving her wide smile and how it travels to her eyes when it's truly genuine. She loves being the current cause of that happiness and is equally happy that Maura is the cause of hers. She can't help but imagine that this is what it will be like forever. They've only been together a day but she knows that she doesn't want to spend another day without being able to hold this woman like this.

She is interrupted from her thoughts by the object of her affection's lips upon her. "What are you thinking about?" Maura asks.

"You." She smiles. "I love you." She kisses the blonde. "A. Lot." She punctuates with kisses.

Maura smiles brightly again. "I love you too, Jane."

"So, since your mom interrupted and killed the mood, what do you want to do?" Maura asks.

"As much as I don't want to leave you, It's getting late and I'm actually working tomorrow. I should go home." Jane sighs sadly.

"Or we can watch a movie and cuddle and you can spend the night. I have your clothes here too." Maura suggests.

"I can't babe, I have to get home to Jo." Jane grumbles.

"Okay. I'll grab some stuff and come spend the night again." Maura says without even receiving an answer and heads off towards her room sashaying her hips a little more overtly then normal knowing Jane is watching her walk away.

_God it's hard to believe she's finally mine. _Jane thinks while admiring Maura's swaying backside.

A few minutes later Maura emerges with an overnight bag and they head off to Jane's apartment. Jane can't help but smile at the realization that she will be spending another night in the arms of the woman she loves.

When they arrive at her apartment she steps out of her side and runs to the other side to get Maura's door. Maura steps out and pecks her appreciatively before grabbing her bag and they head inside.

"Come with me while I walk Jo?" Jane asks once they get inside and Maura sets her stuff down.

"Sure." Maura grabs Jo's leash and hands it to Jane who hooks it to the dog before they head out of the apartment.

"Let's just take a nice lengthy walk, Jo will enjoy it and it's nice and crisp out tonight huh?" Jane says while inhaling the autumn air.

"Yeah. It's going to start getting chilly soon, though." Maura adds.

Jane slips her hand into Maura's and pulls her closer to her as they walk.

"Are you going to tell your mom about us?" Jane asks after a few moments of content silence.

"I want to." Maura sighs. "But I'm a little bit worried after the whole Julia thing. And I feel like it's something we should tell her in person and you know how she is; only coming here at her convenience."

"She still loves you, you know? Even if she isn't around so much."

"I know. But sometimes I think Angela has been a better mother to me lately. I do love my mom especially after everything she has been through for me and everything I've learned from her this year, but I still wish she was around more."

"She'll be around when it counts Maura. And you'll always have my Ma, I don't mind sharing." Jane smiles. "If you don't mind all my family drama that comes along with it then you deserve us as much as we deserve you."

"I love your family." Maura insist. "You all really care about each other. You may argue and all that but you'd do anything for each other. Just like when you're mother chose you over me after that whole fight about Paddy Doyle."

Jane frowns at the memory. "I'm still really sorry about that, I should have never made my mother choose between us, you're as much part of this family as I am." She explains tightening her grip on Maura's hand. "That was the worst fight we've ever had and I was so scared I'd lost you for good."

"You saved me in those woods, I'd be stupid not to forgive you. Besides I really did miss you. I love you so much, I hated being angry at you. I feel so stupid for being angry at you; you were doing your job but I was scared Paddy would die and I'd never find my mother. And then even though he lived I was still upset that you would shoot him and-"

Jane stops and pulls Maura towards her. "I felt so awful for shooting him. I know I've said it a bunch of times but it was cop instinct, I was truly scared that he'd shoot me or my team. I didn't do it to protect Dean, I was so angry at him for interfering. I feel like such an idiot for ever telling him Paddy was in town."

"I know. We are both sorry about it and we got through it. We've been through so much and even though that was a terrible thing to happen between us, we made it past it with a much stronger relationship than before it and now we can pretty much make it through anything."

Jane nods and kisses Maura sweetly on the lips. "This surgery will just be another thing we will get through."

Maura hums into the kiss and pulls Jane tighter against her. They stand in a tight embrace for several moments breathing in each other and basking in a combination or comfort, love and contentment before finally breaking apart remaining connected by a single hand. They resume their walking and turn around to head back to the apartment with several weights lifted off their shoulders and few more upon them.

They walk in silence most of the way back just content in the contact of their hands.

"I want to take you on a date." Jane says seemingly out of nowhere.

"What?" Maura asks stunned by the abrupt admission of those words.

"We've done everything backwards so far and I want a bit of normalcy. I want to court you Maura Isles even if I already have you. I want to take you on a romantic date."

"Jane you don't have to do that. I don't need to be courted, I already love you."

"I know you do, but I'm still going to do it. Tomorrow after work I'm going to take you out." Jane insists.

"Okay. " Maura responds happily squeezing Jane's hand.

Once they arrive to the apartment they head to bed, Maura clad in Jane's sleepwear making the detective very proud to see her very sexy girlfriend in her own clothes for the second time this week.

They settle between the sheets with Maura tucked protectively in Jane's hold with her head on her shoulder. Maura falls asleep almost immediately after curling into Jane.

Jane remains awake and stares down at the woman she loves so much. She gently strokes her hair back and admires her beautiful face and how content it looks while she sleeps and she knows that if she gets to go to bed like this and wake up to the same face for the rest of her life it will be a life worth living to its full extent.

_Maura Isles I will do whatever it takes to prove that I'm worthy of you. I will spend my entire life loving you and I will not go one day without telling you or showing you how much I love you. _

She lays a kiss upon Maura's head to seal her internal promise and receives a sigh from her love in return. She falls asleep shortly after with a smile on her face.

* * *

**A/N: Just gonna admit right now I'm a Steelers fan but knowing Jane's a true Bostonian at heart I couldn't bear to make her anything other than a Pats fan. But it's okay because my love of the Steelers will just be lived vicariously through Maura to balance out the pain of writing anything about someone loving a team other than mine. But I guess it's better they're from Boston, I don't think I'd survive having to write Jane being a Ravens fan or any other rival.**

**Thanks for reading.  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. It's been a crazy week. I can't promise updates are going to start coming as fast as they were though. Maybe once a week, since I'm about to start summer classes that I ended up signing up for last minute. I need to boost my GPA since the engineering motto of "C's get degrees" isn't so friendly to it.**

**Anyways I hope you like this. Enjoy and review if you please.  
**

* * *

When Jane wakes up the next morning she reaches around in her bed to find it empty and cold. She gets out of bed and exits her room to find Maura in the kitchen preparing to make breakfast. She smiles at the actions of the woman before her before walking into the kitchen. She grabs the honey blonde's hips receiving a shriek of surprise from Maura.

"You scared the heck out of me Jane!" Maura exclaims swatting the detective on the arm.

Jane places a hand over Maura's pounding heart and laughs. "I'm so sorry baby. I just wanted to come in here thank you for making me breakfast."

"This is how you thank me, by scaring me? And who says I'm making breakfast for you?" Maura taunts.

"Fine, enjoy your breakfast I'll go get ready for work and starve." Jane mocks.

Just as she's about to pull away, Maura pulls her back to her and draws her into a kiss and deepens it instantly. Jane moans and pulls Maura impossibly closer. She backs the blonde up against the counter while her hands travel down and clutch her ass. Maura groans and bites Jane's lip before pulling back from the kiss to catch her breath.

"How about we forget breakfast and head to the bedroom." Jane tries.

"Hmmm tempting, but no." Maura slaps Jane's ass before slipping out of her arms and heading back the stove. "Go shower and get ready for work."

Jane laughs at the déjà vu feeling of this encounter remembering her dream. She walks up behind the doctor and moves her hair to the left and attempts sucking on the blonde's pulse point. Maura moans and her legs wobble shakily. Jane grins confidently against the blonde's neck. "How about we shower together?" She asks thinking she'

Maura bites her lip tempted to join Jane but manages to keep her resolve and shakes her head no. "I already showered."

"No you haven't, how long have you been up?"

"At least an hour, Jane. You're a heavy sleeper. Now go get in the shower." Maura demands.

Jane growls in defeat and heads off towards her room leaving a smirking Maura behind.

* * *

By seven o'clock the two of them are in the car and on the way to BPD. Jane reaches over and take's Maura's hand in hers. "Remember I'm taking you out tonight."

"I remember." Maura responds while running her thumb affectionately over the back of Jane's hand.

Jane smiles at her and brings her hand to her lips and kisses each knuckle while continuing their commute.

* * *

Jane walks into the office and notices that Frost and Korsak are out. She sighs sadly knowing this is just day one of several weeks she will being sitting behind this desk doing that and nothing else.

"Rizzoli!" She hears Cavanaugh shout from her office. She steps inside and closes the door behind her.

"What's up Lieu?"

"I got a call from your doctor. I'm sorry to hear about your heart." He says as sincerely as a hard ass like him can muster.

"Don't worry about it, I'll be good as new after surgery." Jane tries to say nonchalantly.

"Yeah well, I'm sure you know I can't have you on active duty with your condition-"

"I know. Desk duty till after my surgery and I'm evaluated by my doctor." Jane interrupts.

"Glad you're not going to fight me on this."

"Wouldn't dream of it." The detective drawls.

"Well you're going to be working from your desk, I may put you down in evidence if things get really slow." Cavanaugh explains.

"Okay." Jane says through gritting teeth just imagining working in evidence again.

"Well I guess that's it then." He ends the conversation allowing Jane to exit. She sighs sadly and sits at her desk and begins going through her files.

About an hour later Frost and Korsak come in.

"Hey guys, did you get any info?" Jane asks hoping to still have some role in the case.

"Not much so far. We went and saw my friend about the tattoo. He said he may know where she got it. He knows of a tattoo artist around here who has a few ties to local crime syndicates. He gave us his shop info. We're going to go in and question him later when his shop opens."

Jane sighs sadly knowing she won't be going.

The rest of the day is a blur. Maura came up around 1 and they went to eat lunch at a deli around the corner, but other than that it had been a bore.

_How am I supposed to do this for a month? I swear I get put on desk duty more than any other cop._ She thinks to herself bitterly while continuing her paperwork.

* * *

Around 3 Frost and Korsak come back in with the tattoo artist they went to question cuffed and being pulled with them towards the interrogation room. When five comes around they're still questioning him.

Jane sighs knowing she wants to stay and find out how things are going but she told Maura she'd take her out and already made the reservations for a restaurant. She waits another five minutes in hopes that just maybe they will finish up, but when they don't she hesitantly grabs her things and slowly makes her way out the door. She makes it into the elevator and growls in frustration.

"Fuck I can't be on desk duty for one day let alone over a month. Especially with this girl's killer still on the loose. And now I'm talking to myself. Get it together!" She says to herself while alone.

The ding of the elevator stops her crazed talking to herself and she steps out into the morgue to find Maura. When she walks into the lab she can't see her anywhere. She steps into the office and finds Maura at her desk studying files intently. She walks over to the oblivious doctor and puts her hands on her shoulders and begins to massage her.

Maura tenses at first until she realizes whose hands are on her and then she relaxes and moans at her love's touch.

Jane leans down and kisses up Maura's neck. "Working hard I see." Jane says in Maura's ear while continuing her ministrations.

"mmmm. Just going over the lab and autopsy reports some more. I just feel like there is something I'm missing. What if we do find who killed her but can't find sufficient evidence to tie him to her murder?" Maura says sadly.

Jane just sighs and stops her hands on Maura's shoulders.

Maura instantly rises realizing she shouldn't have said that. She knows Jane has been having a rough time when it comes to this case and she's tried to be reassuring that they'd find the killer. Now she just brought another thing out in the open for Jane to worry about.

She pulls Jane towards her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. We-"

"No Maura I get it. We're royally screwed on this case." Jane says bitterly trying to pull away.

"Jane." Maura sighs trying to stop Jane from retreating.

"Let's just go." Jane demands finally breaking from Maura's grasp.

"Well this is going to turn out as some great first date if we're acting like this." Maura notes. "I'm not going out like this."

Jane halts her retreat and turns around noting Maura's sad expression.

_Fuck I keep doing this. All she is trying to do is be supportive and I keep fucking it up. She was down here retracing her reports more soundly than I've ever seen and it's obviously to put my obsession with this to rest. I'm a terrible girlfriend._

She walks up to Maura and takes her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be taking this out on you. This isn't your fault."

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said what I said. I know how much this case means to you and I just made your fears worse by saying that."

Jane leans down and kisses Maura reassuringly. "I know you're doing everything you can to find something. I'm sorry for getting angry."

"It's okay. I forgive you." Maura sighs against Jane's lips pulling her tighter against her. "Just please try not to obsess so much over this case. You're on desk duty. Leave it to Frost and Korsak and stop stressing yourself out, because right now, this case is their problem."

"I'll try Maura." Jane promises kissing Maura one last time before pulling away. "Come on, I promised to take my woman out for a romantic date and I won't ruin it anymore with work talk. Tonight it's just about you and I."

She drops Maura off at home to get ready and returns home to walk Jo and change into something a little more fitting for the ambiance of the restaurant.

She dons a royal blue, knee length dress that she had hidden in the box it was wrapped in when she bought it. Luckily she never removed it and Maura managed not to see it during her cleaning raids on her closet.

She tames her locks a little better but leaves them untied knowing Maura loves her hair down. After adding a light amount of make-up and some earrings, she locks up and heads out to pick up Maura.

* * *

When she arrives at Maura's house she's a little nervous. Okay a lot nervous. She knows her and Maura have already kissed and said they love each other. But this is a big deal, even if it's backwards, this is their official first date. And she already almost messed it up once with her attitude.

She takes a breath before knocking on Maura's door, wanting to do this legitimately.

Maura answers moments later. "Why didn't you just come in like- Wow!" She stops midsentence to admire the brunette beauty before her instinctually licking her lips unknowingly.

Jane chuckles at Maura's predator-like gaze. She kisses the still stunned blonde on the cheek and whispers in her ear "You look pretty wow yourself" before pulling away and admiring Maura's maroon designer dress. It's no surprise Maura looks drop dead gorgeous, she always looks runway ready. But tonight she looks impossibly more spectacular to Jane.

Maura finally shakes her not so innocent thoughts away. "Jane you look amazing."

"Why thank you, but you are even more stunning." Jane compliments. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes." Maura replies almost too quickly.

Maura locks her door and they head towards the car where Jane opens her door for her like a perfect gentlewoman. Jane runs to the other side and gets in, turning the car on and heading towards the restaurant.

"So where are we going?" Maura questions.

"It's a surprise." Jane winks before keeping her eyes back on the road.

Maura smiles back though she is really anxious to know where they're going. She also knows a hardheaded Jane won't fold and tell her where they're going so she doesn't keep asking and instead tries to figure it out by using intelligence, deduction and pure hypothesis. However the last three places she thought they were going, they ended up passing. She gives up just as they pull up to a valet drop off.

When she looks out of the window and notices where they are she doesn't know whether to be shocked she didn't figure out this was where they were going or that Jane got a reservation and was taking her to one of the most exclusive French restaurants in Boston.

She is too mesmerized by the fact that this is where they are that she doesn't notice Jane has left the car, until she is opening her door for her again. Maura takes her hand and steps out.

Jane hands the valets her keys and leads Maura towards the entrance. Maura stops pulling an attached Jane to a halt with her.

"Jane. You didn't?" She manages to get out, still silenced by her surprise.

Jane smiles knowing how happy Maura is, she's only been wanting to go here since her mother told her about it over a year ago. She moves in front of the speechless blonde and nods. "I did."

"H-how did you get reservations?" Maura asks.

"I know people." Jane shrugs. In fact she does know people. Sometimes have a dad as a plumber can gain you some pretty interesting friends. Like the head chef of said restaurant, which the woman Jane has loved for years, has been talking about for quite some time.

"You know people. Jane this restaurant is one of the hardest to get into and you just got a reservation in a day?" Maura questions disbelievingly.

"It's not what you know, Maur. It's who you know." Jane furthers.

"Jane I can't let you take me here. It's way too expensive." Maura protests.

Jane shakes her head fiercely. "No Maura. Let me treat you to something nice. I'm courting you, remember."

"Jane." Maura sighs happily. She pulls the detective closer to her and kisses her sweetly on the lips, trying to convey her gratitude to the best of her ability. "I love you so much" she whispers.

Jane smiles and says "I love you too." She pecks her lips one more time then pulls her towards the restaurant entrance.

Once inside, Jane gives the maître d' her name.

"Yes, Ms. Rizzoli. We've been waiting for you. If you come this way we have a special table for you." He explains leading the two ladies towards a secluded table, lit by candle light.

Jane pulls Maura's chair out for her and pushes it in once she sits before taking her own seat.

"Your waiter will be right with you." He says before leaving.

"Jane, how did you manage all this in one night?" Maura asks awestruck by the service they're receiving.

"You'll find out Maura. Just enjoy being lavished like a celebrity." Jane smiles, taking Maura's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Moments later the waiter arrives. "Hello Ms. Rizzoli. Chef Pierre has asked me to inform you that everything is taken care of and that he will personally be delivering your main course later this evening. Would you ladies like any wine?"

Maura eyes Jane suspiciously.

"Yes. Whatever red wine Pierre recommends for tonight is what we will have." She smiles to the waiter.

"Wonderful. I will get that for you right away."

"Wow. So you know the chef of one of Boston's finest restaurants?" Maura asks enthusiastically.

"Yes and no." Jane says but adds no more.

"That's all you're going to say. I've known you for years and this has never been established."

Jane chuckles at Maura's fixation on how she knows the chef. "I've known him a few years. On one of my days off a few years ago the restaurant had an emergency plumbing problem. Pierre hired my Pop to fix it but he needed some help so I offered to come in and give him a hand. Pierre told me whenever I'd need him he'd be here. I haven't had to take him up on his offer until now."

Just as Jane finishes her explanation the waiter appears with their wine. "Jean-Luc Joillot, Pinot Noir." He tells them as he pours them each a glass. Another waiter follows behind with their first course. "For your first course you will be having a plateau de fromages et salade verte. Is there anything else you ladies need?"

"No thank you. We're fine." Jane replies before the waiter retreats.

"This looks amazing." Maura notes while eying the delicious food placed in front of them.

"Yes so just to make sure I'm not eating snails or anything, oh queen-know-it-all, what exactly are we eating." Jane asks jokingly.

"You take me to a French restaurant and don't even know what you're eating?" Maura laughs.

"Well you wanted to come here. And I thought there would at least be a menu with an English translation."

"Don't worry. No snails. It's exactly what it looks like, a salad and cheese plate." Maura explains.

They eat and converse about several different subjects, managing to avoid work topics. When the waiter retrieves their plates, Pierre arrives with their main course.

"Hello Jane. I was wondering if you'd ever call me for a favor." He smiles at the two women, placing their food in front of them. "I'm sorry, I would have sat you at the chef's table in the kitchen, but you called me on the day of and I already had it reserved."

"No. This is more than fine." Jane waves her hand. "Just being able to eat your food is thanks enough."

"Well I've made you two a special menu that I prepared myself. It's the least I can do after you and your father save me. If you hadn't come when you had I'd have had to shut down the restaurant for the night. And doing so on a Friday night would not have been pleasant."

"Well I guess I can say the debt has been generously repaid." Jane smiles before gesturing a hand towards Maura. "Chef Pierre, this is my girlfriend, Maura Isles. She's the reason I've finally taken you up on your offer. She might as well be your biggest fan."

"Bonsoir." Maura greets while shaking Pierre's hand. She carries on a conversation in French with him. Jane can only assume Maura is complimenting his food as she makes out the words "délicieux" and "merveilleux" which she can remember from high school French are adjectives that sound just like their English counterparts. Whatever they're saying, Pierre and Maura enjoy a few laughs during their brief conversation.

When they finish up their chat, Pierre focuses his attention back on Jane. "Where'd you find her? She's great."

"She is." Jane assures while taking Maura's hand, garnering a knowing smile from the chef.

"Well I'd like you to enjoy my food while it's still hot." He smiles. "For your main course I've prepared 'paupiettes de sole à la mousseline de crevettes'. In English for you Jane, it's poached Sole wrapped with mousseline of shrimp, with butternut squash on the side."

"Thanks for the translation. You saved Maura the trouble of assuring me there isn't snail in it." Jane jokes.

Pierre laughs. "Escargot is cliché. Anyways I should head back to the kitchen. Enjoy your food. I don't think I will be able to make it back out before you leave."

"Thank you again Pierre." Jane says one more time.

"Don't mention it. Oh and hang on to that one." He says while motioning towards Maura. "She's a keeper."

"Don't worry. I will." She asserts while staring lovingly at a now blushing Maura.

They enjoy the rest of their meal and desert in each others' company, stopping occasionally for a caress between their hands and a few times, their feet.

When the bill comes, Maura insists on helping Jane pay again, knowing the meal and the wine were expensive.

"No Maura. This is me taking you on a date, which includes paying." Jane explains.

"But you've already got us reservations and everything, at least let me pay." Maura protests.

"Do you always offer to pay when going on a date with potential suitors?" Jane asks while handing the bill and her card to the waiter before Maura can see it.

"No, but-" She tries to defend.

"Then don't be any different with me. It's my treat." Jane asserts with finality.

Maura knows when she's lost a battle and gives in.

On the ride back, Maura can't stop herself from smiling at how perfect tonight was. She knew Jane could be sweet but she didn't know she had this side to her. She fell in love with her hardheaded, sarcastic personality but she also loves this romantic, grand gesture side she never expected of her. She takes Jane's hand and rests it in hers on the center console. Jane turns to her and smiles before turning back towards the road. Maura sighs happily and perfectly content.

When they arrive at Maura's, Jane again gets out and opens Maura's door for her. She walks Maura to her front door planning not to go in.

"Thank you for everything. Tonight was beyond amazing, Jane." Maura says once they arrive at her door.

"Anything for you, Maura." Jane replies, squeezing her hand affectionately. She steps closer to Maura and kisses her sweetly on the lips before pulling away and attempting to walk back to her car.

"You're not leaving are you?" Maura asks pulling her back.

"Yes. I'm trying to be gentlewomanly. You know, just a peck on the lips after a first date." Jane explains. "It's lame." She adds while shaking her head.

Maura pulls Jane to her and kisses her passionately on the lips. "No. It's not lame, just unnecessary." She says while pulling the detective into the house.

She kisses her again, claiming her mouth with her tongue immediately. Jane moans at Maura's aggressiveness. She caresses Maura's tongue with hers while her hands travel to Maura's hips and pulls them against her own. Maura grinds her hips against Jane's coaxing a louder moan from her. She smiles knowing she has effectively turned her on. Jane grabs Maura's ass and pushes her hips against hers again roughly. This time it's Maura who moans.

Maura breaks the kiss panting. She tries to catch her breath while Jane kisses a path down her jaw and neck, stopping her trail only to nip at the blonde's pulse point.

"Jane, let's go to the bedroom so your mom doesn't walk in on us again." She pants breathlessly.

Jane growls and continues her attack.

Maura is impossibly more turned on by the detective's animalistic behavior and almost gives in. But she knows it's impractical to continue this in the living room. "Jane." She tries again.

Jane just grabs Maura's behind and lifts her while the blonde instinctively wraps her legs around her. She walks the two of them towards the bedroom, never taking her lips off her neck. Closing the door behind them, she sets her love on the bed.

She smiles down at Maura and leans in to kiss her. Maura pulls Jane to her by her neck, tangling her hand in her hair, and kisses her intensely. She pulls at Jane's zipper until her dress is undone. Jane shrugs it off her shoulders until it puddles on the floor.

She stared mesmerized at the body before her. She'd seen Jane in a sports bra and shorts plenty of times but now she really gets to see her. Clad in a lacey black bra, her body may be the most gorgeous thing she's ever seen.

Jane smirks at Maura's ogling before leaning down and kissing Maura again. She works her own magic on Maura's zipper and helps her out of her dress, glad to see Maura is braless. She grabs the blonde and pulls her further up the bed, before laying herself on top of her. "God you're beautiful." She whispers to the blonde before attaching her lips to Maura's again.

Jane begins a rhythm of her hips into the blonde's below her, whose hands are traveling up and down her half-naked body. Maura palms a bra-clad breast giving it a gentle squeeze before reaching behind Jane's back and snapping her bra open. Their lips separated a few seconds while Jane removes the article of clothing, before they're kissing again, slower and more sensual than the previous hungry ones. Jane grinds herself further into Maura, moaning at the skin to skin contact of pressing their breasts together.

She kisses down Maura's jaw, then neck until reaching her chest and taking her right breast in her mouth. She flicks her tongue against the hardened nipple. "Oh Jane." Maura moans bucking her hips at the contact. She spends a considerable about of time lavishing each of Maura's breasts, loving the noises she is receiving from the blonde in return. She moves back up to Maura's lips and looks her in the eye before motioning to the last article of clothing she is wearing and asks "may I?" Maura bites her lip and nods. Jane reaches down and begins trying to remove Maura's panties. Maura cants her hips to help and once they're gone, Jane removes her own and lies back on top of her.

"I love you." She whispers to her Maura while looking her in the eye.

Maura smiles affectionately at Jane and says "I love you too" before kissing her again.

Jane runs a hand down Maura's body reaching her destination. She continues to kiss Maura with everything she has while she runs a finger through Maura's folds, toying with her clit.

Maura sucks in air and moans before bucking her hips into Jane's hand. "More" she begs breathlessly.

Jane complies and thrusts a finger inside of her garnering a loud satisfied moan from below her. She adds another finger and begins a slow rhythm. Maura begins moving her hips to the same rhythm of Jane's hand while she snakes a hand between them and plunges two fingers into the unwarned brunette.

"Oh fuck" Jane moans at the unsuspected intrusion momentarily stopping her thrusts, while dropping her head back in pleasure. She leans down and kisses Maura before beginning her movements again. Maura and her form a rhythm between their hands and their hips while they draw themselves towards the edge. They turn into a panting mess in minutes each begging for release while simultaneously trying to give the other the same pleasure.

Jane feels herself approaching the edge but wants to get Maura off first. She feels the blonde's walls tightening around her fingers and pushes down on Maura's clit one last time before the blonde tumbles over the edge screaming out her name. It's all Jane needs to reach her climax as she moans out Maura's name and collapses on top of her, shuddering softly. They slowly bring each other down before they each remove their hand.

After catching her breath, Jane lifts her head and kisses Maura soundly on the lips. She releases her lips and presses her forehead against Maura's before whispering "that was amazing" to her.

Maura smiles and nods before pecking Jane's lips. They enjoy several minutes of sweet slow kisses before Jane lies beside her and pulls her into her side. She's extremely tired after tonight's events but Maura still manages to fall asleep before her.

She lies looking at the woman beside her and smiles. She just had the most amazing mind-blowing sex with the woman she has loved for years. As much as she worries it was just another dream, she's sure that this may actually be a reality.

She pulls Maura even tighter against herself and sighs happily.

When sleep still doesn't come after a half hour her mind manages to wonder to things other than Maura and the wonderful evening she's spent with her.

It wonders to her anxieties and biggest fears. That this may not be something she has forever. That something will go wrong with her surgery and mess this all up.

When she still doesn't fall asleep, her mind wonders to her job. And how she is on desk duty for a month and there is a huge possibility her team has finally met its match with this case.

She desperately wanted Maura to be the last thing on her mind as she fell asleep with a smile. But tonight she falls asleep with a frown and a heavy heart, fearing that she may actually not solve a case.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Can't believe we're on 20 chapters. Well I think Wednesdays are going to become the days I release chapters. At least, that's going to be my deadline. Hopefully I can write them quicker. I got a job now too, so basically I'll be working and taking classes so I can't stay up writing in the middle of the night anymore.**

**Anyways I hope you like this and I hope it's not getting dull. I mean we've still got Jane's surgery and it's not going to be all fluff, I can promise you that.  
**

**Well, enjoy and review if you please (they really keep me motivated).  
**

* * *

Despite going to sleep long after Maura, Jane wakes up first and notices that somehow they've moved into a spooning position with Jane's bare front pressed to Maura's back. Her arm is draped loosely over Maura's stomach and covered by Maura's left hand. She lifts her head and glances at the clock on Maura's nightstand and realizes why she is awake before her; it's only 4:30. She sighs quietly because she knows there is no way she is going back to sleep and contemplates whether to lie here until Maura awakes or busy herself with a morning run.

She gets her answer when she tries to remove her arm but Maura tightens her grip on her. Jane smiles to herself at her girlfriend's neediness even in her sleep. She presses herself into Maura more while she tightens her grip around her stomach.

_If she doesn't want me to leave, then I won't. Besides after last night we should wake up together._ She thinks while smiling at how comfortable their position is. She's never woken up before Maura except that one time when they were in the same position and she freaked out. _I wonder if we always end up like this and Maura never told me just like I didn't tell her._

She busies herself by admiring as much of Maura's blissful face as she can see and reminiscing on last night. Maura and her had finally made love and all she could think was that it was the best experience she'd ever had. Maybe it's because it was Maura or maybe it was because she had never felt for anyone the way she felt for Maura. But she doesn't care why, all she caresvabout is that it remains like this between them forever. Because she is sure, that Maura is hers forever.

They may not have been together long. But Jane has loved her for what feels like an eternity. Long enough that had she acted on her desires in the first place she'd probably be married to the woman she currently holds in her arms. And then her mind drifts off to a world where she is married to the woman of her dreams. She pictures them living together happily with a white picket fence and 2.5 children and then almost laughs to herself out loud. Her dreams are so stereotypical that she mentally pictures the average American family and Maura and her are anything but average. But Maura is the only person she has ever pictured marrying. The only one! And to top it all off, she is even picturing kids, something she'd never even considered despite her mother's constant nagging. She doesn't know how they'd do it. Probably some sort of IVF with a sperm bank, but she doesn't care as long as she raises them with the love of her life. She doesn't even care who carries, if she has to, she'd do it. Just so her and Maura could have a family together. She'd do anything for her.

Her thoughts just keep racing and racing until she has to stop them immediately when she thinks of leaving work early to stop at a jewelry store.

_Calm down Rizzoli. You've only been together a few days. Marriage is not in the picture right now. You're the one that told her not to bring it up around Ma because you need time. At least get through your surgery and a couple of months of blissful happiness before you tie yourself down._

She smirks to herself and wonders what she's even thinking. Marriage after dating her a week, that's worse than the clingiest girlfriend in the world. But then she thinks of her last thought. Enjoy blissful happiness before tying herself down.

_That's my only reasoning for not getting down on one knee and asking her? When I know doing so would do nothing to change how happy it'd make me. And if marriage is the stereotypical ball and chain then I'd be happy to be shackled._

This time she does laugh a little and then shakes her head at her stupidity.

_I'd always said the ones who liked me to use the cuffs were freaks and I just thought about being shackled with a smile on my face. What is this woman doing to me?_

She kisses Maura's shoulder gently.

_I know it is too soon. If it wasn't there would be a ring on your finger faster than Ma could pull out the wedding guides. But proposing after a week is crazy, no matter how sure I am about us. But one day, I'm going to marry you Maura Isles. And I'm going to do my best to give you everything you want and make you as happy as you make me. I love you so much._

She seals her internal promise with another kiss to Maura's shoulder receiving a content sigh from the blonde. She feels Maura's fingers tangle with hers on her stomach before hearing the blonde mumble "good morning."

She smiles against her skin before kissing her again and trailing them up her neck. "Good morning." She whispers back in her ear before laying a kiss behind it.

She feels Maura shiver before turning over quickly in her grasp and kissing her hard on the lips. It takes her moments to respond due to surprise but soon she flicks a tongue across Maura's lip and feels her smile before pulling back and resting her forehead against Jane's.

"What time is it?" She asks sleepily. Jane realizes Maura has yet to even open her eyes and smiles knowing how tired she is.

"It's only five. You can go back to sleep." She answers before pecking Maura's lips.

"No we've got to get up. You need breakfast." She says finally opening her eyes and revealing her beautiful, sharp green eyes that Jane loves so much.

The sight before her does inexplicable things to the already muddled brain of Jane. She can't get over how wonderful it is to awake with Maura wrapped in her arms and be the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes. Eyes that Jane has just realized how much she loves, especially in the morning when they're still dazed and hazy. She smiles at the blonde before kissing her as sweetly as possible.

"We'll eat at the café." Jane says. Maura attempts to protest and moves to get up but Jane just pulls her back against herself. "I just wanna stay in bed a little longer with you." She adds breaking Maura's resolve.

It's a strange thing since Maura is equally as hardheaded as Jane, but sometimes Jane can turn her into mush just as easily as she can do the same to Jane. She agrees and cuddles up next to her lover again before resting her head against Jane's heart. It's routine now when they cuddle. But Maura just likes to hear Jane's medical imperfection, and note that even though her heart beats irregularly, it's still beating. And as cliché as it seems, she likes to think that it beats for her. And so she finds comfort in just listening to it, while her lover holds her tightly.

"Why are you up so early?" Maura mumbles against Jane's chest.

Jane just sighs. "I don't know. I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep."

Maura kisses the middle of Jane's bare chest before lifting her head and looking into brown eyes. "I thought maybe I'd have worn you out a bit last night. Sex is a good stress reliever." She says playfully.

Jane smiles seductively and pulls Maura on top of her, pinching her hips garnering a squeal in response. "Cocky aren't we?" Jane laughs. "I think I'm still a little stressed though." She adds while pulling Maura's face down to hers. Maura chuckles enabling her to push her tongue through her lips turning her laugh into a moan within seconds.

Maura pulls away reluctantly. "Jane, we can't, we have to get ready soon." She says with as much strength as she can muster, despite how much she really doesn't want to stop.

Jane just pulls Maura back down, tightening her grip on her neck and kissing her as passionately as she can manage. Her attempt to break Maura's willpower seems to work as Maura moans and presses into her. She smirks at her success before flipping the blonde on her back. She looks down into the eyes of her lover and notices how her green eyes have managed to darken and she changes her mind, these are the eyes she loves the most. She peppers kisses all over Maura's face and then begins trailing them up her jaw towards her ear. She takes her earlobe in her mouth and sucks before releasing and whispering "I love you so much."

Maura groans and trails her hands down Jane's body until she reaches her ass. She palms it and pushes Jane into herself before nipping at Jane's neck and then kissing over it.

"Hey. No marks, I have to look professional." Jane says sternly.

"There's makeup for that." Maura growls before nipping her neck again and running her tongue over it.

"That's it." Jane yells grabbing Maura's hands from off her ass and pushing them above her head. "Now you're in trouble." She says before pulling her head away from Maura just before she can bite her again. "You want to show everyone I'm yours? Then I will do the same." She kisses Maura's pulse point and sucks hard before releasing. Maura just moans and bucks her hips up into Jane. "Now you're mine." Jane mumbles against the red mark forming on Maura's neck.

"I'm yours." Maura pants while Jane presses a thigh between her legs.

She begins a trail of kisses down Maura's neck, releasing her hands as she meets her chest with her lips. She kisses her harder between her breasts before continuing downwards. Maura's breathe hitches in her throat and she gasps when she feels Jane's tongue swipe against her belly button.

She continues her path downwards but doesn't stop when she reaches her center. She trails down Maura's leg, spending special attention to the scar she had been the cause of, though it save her life. She kisses back up to Maura's thigh and stops to blow on Maura's heat. She smirks when Maura bucks her hips up, begging for friction that Jane denies before moving on to the other thigh.

"Please, Jane." Maura begs moving her hand down to Jane's hair.

Jane looks up to Maura and smiles reassuringly before giving her what she wants. She delves her tongue through slick, wet folds, moaning at the taste. Maura's hand tightens in her hair and she bucks her hips as Jane flicks her tongue against her clit.

Jane laughs at her eagerness pulling a groan from the blonde who bucks again and shakes out of want for more. She places a hand on Maura's hips to steady her before taking her clit in her mouth and sucking as Maura cries out in pleasure. She licks up and down a few times before pressing her tongue into her.

"Oh fuck." Maura gasps trying to move her hips into a rhythm but fails due to Jane's grip.

Jane internally congratulates herself, never once hearing Maura curse, yet she's managed to get her to do so. It turns her on even more as she thrusts her tongue into her with more purpose. When she feels Maura's walls begin to contract around her tongue she knows she's close. She gives a few more thrusts before moving back up to her clit and swirling her tongue around it.

Maura grabs at the sheets and lifts off the bed as she's sent over the edge. She shudders beneath Jane's mouth as wave after wave of pleasure hits her.

Jane brings her down from her high with soft slow licks before kissing her way back up Maura's spent body. When she reaches her mouth, Maura lifts a weak hand and pulls Jane against her fiercely, moaning at the taste of herself. They kiss for several moments before Jane pulls back and smiles at her.

"So, are you stressed at all?" She asks smugly.

Maura rolls her eyes before slapping her playfully and pulling her down for another kiss. "I love you." She says against her lips.

"I love you more." Jane replies while beaming at her girlfriend. "Come on, let's get ready for work." She says pulling herself off Maura.

Maura puts a hand on her forearm to stop her. "Wait. You don't want me too…" She asks trailing off.

"No time." Jane says. She sees a pout on Maura's lips and kisses it away before getting up and pulling Maura with her. "I don't want to be too late." She explains. "You can return the favor later."

"Trust me I plan to." Maura says seductively.

"Well it'll be quicker if we shower together." Jane suggests while pulling her towards the bathroom.

However it doesn't end up being quicker, as Maura insists on returning the favor sooner than Jane expected, but didn't have the resilience to deny.

And with that they ended up being late to work.

Jane hurried up to the office excited to find out if there were any leads on the case. She skips past her desk and heads straight to Frost.

"So you guys were interviewing the tattoo artist a long time. Any leads?" Jane asks excitedly.

"Ummm yeah we've got one in the works." He says while rubbing the back of him neck nonchalantly and looking down at the ground.

"Why are you acting like that?" Jane questions.

He keeps not looking in her eye but smirks.

"What?" She huffs.

"Nothing. Just…" He trails off and finally looks up before laughing. "I see you and Maura have been having a good time."

"What?" She shouts, running to her desk and looking at herself in the blank computer screen. She notices she forgot to cover one of Maura's marks. "Shit, shit, shit!" She exclaims before running out towards the morgue to get some cover-up from Maura. "I'm going to kill her."

Frost hears her and shouts "remember you're at work before you try anything while you're down there." He laughs. "Sexual or otherwise." He adds for good measure.

Korsak walks in and looks at him with a quirked eyebrow, hearing only the last part.

"Our dear Rizzoli has finally got some." He shrugs.

Korsak just bursts into laughter. "Oh she is never gonna live this down. Her or the Doc."

When Jane returns, a half hour later because Maura was intent on apologizing for the mark before almost giving her another one, Frost and Korsak are huddled at Frost's desk going over some files.

"Alright. Tell me what you guys have got." Jane demands while joining them at the desk.

Frost quarks an eyebrow noticing Jane's long absence but avoids mentioning it because of the glare he's receiving from the brunette.

"Tattoo artist says he knows exactly who he did that tattoo for. A Boston crime lord named Santiago." Frost explains.

"That's it? You questioned him for hours and that's all you got?" Jane asks.

"No. It took quite a bit of threats about Jail time and whatnot but he finally rolled over on Santiago's whole gang. He said Santiago trusted him to work for him and do all his tattoos. He told us where their headquarters are and that Jessica was Santiago's girl. That's why he was protective of her and made her get that tattoo. He thinks she must have been one of his drug dealers originally; he hires women to distribute since they're lest suspicious."

"So this Santiago guy killed her?" She questions.

"He said that when Santiago brought Jessica in for her tattoo, he told him she'd be back soon for their gang tattoo. He does all of them and all new members get one after successfully proving their loyalty to the gang." He explains.

"But she never got one, or else they wouldn't let her into the army." Jane blurts.

"Right. Paul said she never came back with Santiago for the tattoo. He assumed years ago that he had killed her, but he hadn't known that she had deserted. He told us that a personal vendetta against a deserter is taken care of by Santiago himself, and he knows from rumors that he keeps a keepsake from everyone he kills."

"So if he killed Jessica, he'd have something of hers. What do you think it'd be?" She muses.

"Paul says he doesn't know exactly what he keeps from his kills. But we can only hope it's something that could solidify him as the murderer. Especially since we doubt he'd have done the dump job himself. If he would have we probably never would have found her. Which is another plus for us. Whoever dumped her was probably one of Santiago's guys. A dumb one at that since he didn't sink her body in the harbor or something." He continues.

"So how are we gonna find the guy that dumped her?"

"Well we're going to pray Santiago didn't take the guy out for incompetency." Frost starts. "It's going to take luck but we're going to be staking out the headquarters for a few days and try and see if we can make the guy out. Paul gave us a description of Santiago so we know who we're looking for in that department. But the guy that dumped her is probably a newbie so he most likely won't have a tattoo on his shoulder. And from the witnesses at the dump site, we know he is driving a black car without plates. Long story short we hopefully find him, follow his car, pull him over for no plate, take him and his car in. get a warrant and hope we find DNA. Then we question him and offer him some deals and hope he gives us enough to take Santiago and his gang down."

"Then we head in with SWAT and take all there asses in and hope whatever prize Santiago likes to take from his victims is enough to put the final nail in his coffin for murder along with any gang/drug related charges we can drum up after a search of their hold-up." Korsak adds.

Jane smirks triumphantly even though it is a bit of a long shot that they'd be lucky enough to catch the guy. They're finally on the trail to something. And if they don't manage to catch the dumper, they can probably send someone from the drug unit undercover if it comes down to it.

"So this Santiago guy. How do we not have anything on him? No info from the drug unit? Where'd he come from?" Jane asks.

"Honestly, we have no idea." Frost shrugs. "We're thinking Santiago isn't his real name, we have a description and Korsak and I are going to go through the database and try and find him in there. Paul didn't even know if that was his real name."

"Well since it's within the confines of the BPD, I don't think it'd be a problem if I help out." Jane smirks.

Frost and Korsak just look at each other and shrug. "I guess not since you're not going out on duty."

They head into the computer room and spend the rest of the day scouring the database for gang members and drug dealers within Boston who fit the description.

They're just about to give up when Jane tells them to stop a minute on a familiar face.

"That's not him. He's in jail for the next 35 years." Korsak says.

"I know. I put him there. But I think I remember a guy attending all his hearings. His brother I think it was." She says while smiling.

"You think Santiago is Hector Valdez's brother?" Frost asks.

"He could have taken over the family business." She shrugs. "Hector fits the description pretty nicely so Santiago could be related."

"Well, look up Santiago Valdez in the database, Frost." Korsak suggests.

He types in his name and a record shows up within seconds. "I'll be damned." Korsak remarks. "Multiple drug related arrests and affiliation with Hector's gang. They're brothers."

"So he did take over for Hector. How the hell did this manage to stay under covers for so long? We took down nearly all of Hector's entourage while I was working for narcotics. It was the biggest bust of my career with the unit."

"He must have rebuilt as quietly as possible." Frost presumes. "He probably kept all his brother's contacts and figured out a way to keep the business going while his brother was away. He must have been stealthy if he didn't get busted along with Hector and the rest."

"Damn. Well you guys better be careful with this one. He's gotta be a lot smarter than Hector to go all these years without even the slightest idea of his existence. You have to go about this without him getting tipped off. If he even smells trouble he's going to run and there goes putting away a murderer and an entire drug ring." Jane warns.

"We got it Jane. Don't worry." Frost assures her.

She's about to protest until Maura comes in and interrupts. "Hey guys. How's the case going?"

Jane smiles at her and says "We've made a pretty huge break. We think she was affiliated with a drug lord here in Boston. We're gonna try and take down his whole ring with this."

"I heard a lot of 'we' in there." Maura says while taking a step towards her girlfriend. "I'm hoping it's just a royal we, because I recall a certain someone is on desk duty."

"Yes, Maura. I'm not doing anything except sitting behind a desk for the next month." Jane drawls unhappily.

Frost and Korsak make whipping sounds in the background before snickering until Jane glares at them and they stop.

"So Maura. How was your night?" Frost asks mockingly.

"Fine. Why do you ask?" She answers obliviously.

"Frost, I already told you to shut it. Don't make me use my gun." Jane scolds.

He just laughs and shakes his head at the detective. "Well me and Korsak should probably plan out our next moves in this case."Frost says while getting up and motioning the old man out of the room.

Finally alone, Jane pulls Maura against her and kisses her soundly. "I've been wanting to that since you walked in."

"Well I think we should keep it professional around the office." Maura says while pecking Jane's lips before pulling away. "Should we tell the lieutenant about our change in relationship?"

"I think we can keep it to ourselves for a little while. Especially since I'm on desk duty." Jane shrugs.

"Hmm. Okay." Maura agrees. "So I was thinking tonight we should go to your place and pack everything you need. I mean since you're going to be living with me while you heal after your surgery."

Jane smiles realizing that even if she will be in recovery, she will still be living with her girlfriend for a while. Waking up to her and going to sleep next to her every day and night.

_I guess it wouldn't be so bad If healing takes too long hmmm? _She thinks to herself.

"Yeah we can do that." She says nonchalantly.

"Okay. Well I'm finished for the day and it's almost 5. You think anyone would mind if we head out a little early so we can get everything from your place?"

"No. Let's go." Jane says while grabbing Maura's hand and leading her out of the office excited to be moving in with her, even if it's temporary.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took an extra day but blame the holiday I suppose. By the time I got home from the fireworks and party with friends I was pooped. So I'm going to try to get another chapter out to you guys this weekend to make up for it. It's not a promise but just be on the look out.**

**This one's got a kind of different layout because after the next few chapters it's going to start moving a little faster rather than being a day by day story.  
**

**Enjoy and review if you please.  
**

* * *

To say the rest of the week had been amazing would be an understatement. Maura and Jane had gone over to her house to grab a few of her things. She'd packed a bag for herself with everything she'd need at Maura's. It turned into quite a pain a few times as Maura insisted she bring things she didn't really need, but she wanted to be thorough just in case Jane would need it for something. She kept saying "better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it" every time Jane would argue against something. As much as she wanted to protest, since she only lived a few blocks away, she couldn't resist Maura's pout that she used so illegally against her. So they ended up with more than one suitcase of Jane's things.

She'd have protested more but really she didn't mind by the end. It made her think even more of how similar this is to actually moving in with Maura. Hell what if by the end of her healing process, Maura insisted she stay for good? She wasn't too hopeful, but if it did happen, well she'd already have quite a bit of her stuff moved over to Maura's house to begin with.

And then the next hump in the process came with moving the pets. Jo Friday was easy. She would simply hop in the car by herself, excited to go for the ride. The hard part was the tortoise, as Maura insisted upon not putting him in the car until Jane gave him a name.

"_Okay. All we need is the turtle and we should be done right? I don't need anything else." She asks almost pleading, just wanting to go home. Home, she liked the sound of that. She prepares to grab the tank holding the shelled pet Maura had got her as a gift after Hoyt destroyed her apartment until Maura stops her._

"_Jane it's a tortoise! You've had him for over a year and you still call him a turtle. He has a name right? What's his name?" Maura demands._

_Jane looks down guiltily. "I never gave him one."_

"_You never gave him one? How could you not give him a name?"_

"_It's a turtle-"_

"_Tortoise!" She corrects._

"_Right tortoise, it's not like he's going to come to his name. Come on, let's put him in the car so we can go." Jane begs._

"_How would you feel if you didn't have a name?" She asks halting her once again._

"_Pretty good, since no one could ever call me buy it and bother me." She replies._

_Maura just huffs at her remark and crosses her arms unamused. "You have to give him a name."_

"_Maura! I'm awful at naming things. Jo Friday wouldn't have a name if it wasn't for Korsak." She whines._

"_Just name him after your favorite scientist, mathematician or doctor or something like that. Bass was named after a famous anthropologist. Do you have a favorite?" Maura asks sincerely._

"_Of course Maura. I'm always up to par on knowledge of famous doctors who study dead people." Jane replies sarcastically._

_Maura looks at her unamused until Jane relents. "What do you want Maura? You name him. I promise to like whatever you name him."_

"_He's your pet. You should do the honors." Maura pouts breaking all of Jane's resolve for what seems like the millionth time today._

"_All right. How about Newton?" Jane suggests._

"_Oh, famous physicist and mathematician most notable for his work with gravity." She smiles. "You know he invented integral calculus before he was 26."_

"_Actually I was thinking after Wayne Newton." Jane laughs._

"_You can't name him after a Vegas headliner." Maura chastise, causing Jane to instantly regret her attempt at a joke._

_She drops her hands in defeat and tries to think of another name. Someone from high school science, any name of a famous scientist, knowing Maura won't settle for another pop culture reference even if the first was a joke._

"_Okay, okay. I got one. Pascal." She suggest hoping she remembers correctly that being the name of a scientist or else the turtle might just end up being an Einstein ._

"_Yes, famous physicist known for his study of mechanics and pressure. Fitting." Maura admits happily._

"_Sure Maura. So fitting for a tortoise. He bears so much resemblance to a physicist. I mean inventing pressure and sitting doing nothing in a tank go hand and hand." She mocks._

"_He didn't invent pressure Jane. You can't invent a force of the universe. He clarified laws of pressure with Pascal's law." Maura explains._

"_My apologies." Jane says sarcastically. "Come on. He has a name. Can we go now?"_

_Maura takes one last glance around the apartment and nods while Jane grabs the tank._

Work on Friday was normal. Frost had told Jane that a team was surveillancing Santiago's headquarters and they'd hopefully have enough to go in soon with SWAT without the guy who dumped Jessica's body. But to be safe and get as much ammo against him, they were going to spend the weekend hoping to catch him and strengthen their warrant for entering Santiago's hideout.

With that information, Jane settled down quite a bit. She hadn't been as stressed out about finding Jessica's murderer anymore and wasn't as strung out. It made for a pleasant and quiet weekend for her and Maura.

They'd spent most of Saturday in bed. Maura would have advised against it if they hadn't performed recreational activities in that same bed earlier in the morning to make up for their lazy behavior. They remain cuddled up just talking and occasionally napping until around 5 when Angela came in and told them they had to get up.

Luckily they were covered but it's not like that would have stopped her. Her nosey mother had walked in on probably every lover Jane had ever had except for Casey and Allison, and most of them were while Jane lived in her own apartment. It only made her think that maybe moving in with Maura was a bad idea. She'd basically be living with her mother again and her mother barely understood the word "privacy." At least she had her own apartment where they could barricade the door and hide from her for extended periods of time that way.

After much groaning and complaining Maura has finally pulled Jane out of bed and they enjoyed dinner with Angela.

_They're sitting at the table eating a meal Angela had prepared for them._

"_This is delicious Angela." Maura compliments._

"_It's a family recipe." She smiles happily. "I'll teach it to you one day." She says while winking at a now beaming Maura._

"_I'd be honored to learn it from you." Maura replies happily._

"_I'm just glad to have someone who'd actually like to learn to cook from me. Lord knows Jane never does."_

"_Ma! I asked you to teach me to make Gnocchi didn't I?" She says._

"_Yeah, but what about everything else? What about all the family recipes? I'm not going to be around forever." She whines._

"_Don't say that Ma. I love you and you know I need you around." She says reassuringly to her mother._

"_Angela, I'd love to learn everything from you if you'd like to teach me." Maura asks expectantly._

"_Of course dear. I think of you like a daughter already and maybe one day you will be." She says while looking pointedly at Jane who just rolls her eyes at her mother. "You can teach my grandchildren."_

"_Ma. Come on!" Jane shouts._

_Maura just smiles and kisses Jane on the cheek before grabbing the dishes and taking them to the kitchen to wash them._

"_Why do you always gotta be hounding us about marriage and kids Ma? If this was anyone other than Maura, they'd be out the door already." Jane hisses angrily to her mother._

"_Janie, you're my eldest child and you're still unmarried, I just want to be alive to see my grandchildren."_

"_Ma! You're gonna be around to see them graduate." Jane says. "You've gotta be, because I mean it when I say I need you. We all need you, even if we don't like to admit it. But listen. Maura and I don't need to be ambushed by this all the time. We've been together a week Ma. Just give us time okay?" She pleads._

"_Okay." Angela surrenders. "But one day right?"_

_Jane looks over to Maura who is still washing up in the kitchen and smiles. "Yes, one day Ma. I promise. Just not tomorrow okay. So give us some time to enjoy and explore our new relationship."_

It was that plea that finally put a stop to marriage and kids talk from her mother for good. Jane would be lying if she said she hadn't been thinking about it. Probably as much as her mother. No that's extreme. But she has been thinking about it. It's just way too soon and she knows that, but it's definitely something she can see in the future.

That night Maura and Jane got ready for bed in a way that seemed quite routine, making Jane smile at the simple tasks her beautiful blonde performed before bed. As they lie down and settled into their normal positions Maura brought up the inevitable.

"_Tomorrow we have to go over everything for our trip to Cleveland." She began._

_Jane just sighs trying to forget that she'll be going under the knife within four days._

"_I know you don't want to think about it, but we have to be prepared. We booked everything last week but we have to pack on Monday and plan out what we're doing." Maura explains despite Jane's taciturn behavior._

"_We can pack on Monday Maur." Jane says hoping to avoid the subject for a few more days._

"_We should prepare tomorrow while we have the day off. That way after work on Monday we can just relax and get some sleep before our flight on Tuesday."_

"_Okay. We can talk about it tomorrow." Jane almost begs trying to end the conversation._

"_What are you so afraid of Jane? Talk to me about it." Maura pleads._

"_I'm not afraid of anything, Maura. I just don't want to think about it." Jane lies._

_Maura lifts her head and looks in Jane's eyes. She kisses her softly and reassuringly before brushing her hair out of her face. "Aversion tactics don't help in the long run. If you go into this unprepared because you're scared to face even the notion of it, then you will risk panicking when you have to actually face it."_

_Jane remains terse._

_She takes Jane's face in her hand forcing her to look at her. "I love you, Jane. Tell me what's wrong. You have to let me be here for you." She begs hoping she will break through to her._

"_I'm worried that something will go wrong with us because of this surgery." Jane blurts feeling stupid for her irrational fear._

"_How could something go wrong with us? I'm not going to stop loving you because you have heart condition, Jane." Maura promises despite her confusion._

"_I just feel like there is going to be some complication from my surgery. What if I can't work anymore, what if something goes wrong and affects me physically? I may not be the same person."_

"_You're not making any sense. But we both know I don't believe in what ifs, but facts. I can tell you this surgery is 99 percent effective with only .25 percent mortality. You're going to be fine after and we are going to be stronger and better than before. I'm not going anywhere because of your surgery, Jane."_

_She smiles at Maura's attempt to squelch her fears. Something still feels wrong within her but she manages to push it away for the time being to kiss Maura affectionately. "I love you, Maura." She says before pulling her tightly against her and relaxing. "Tomorrow we'll figure everything out and pack."_

"_Okay." Maura agrees while snuggling into her lover for the night._

True to her word, Sunday was spent packing Jane's car for the airport and planning everything for their trip. Their plane tickets were bought, the car and hotel were booked for Maura and hopefully they'd be back in Boston by Sunday evening with Jane resting healthily in Maura's bed.

After hours of packing and planning with a meticulous Maura Isles, Jane was ready to pull her hair out. She hopes traveling with her isn't always like this and that Maura is just being so compulsive because of the circumstances. She does manage to distract Maura a few times but doesn't manage to get further than kissing. Maura would stop her every time it got too heated, citing that they had to finish before they did anything 'fun' causing Jane to groan and gripe. She would get Maura into bed that night if it was the last thing she did.

Around mid afternoon, Frost called and told Jane they caught the guy they believed dumped Jessica's body and if he spilled the beans fast enough they could have enough to go in as early as Tuesday afternoon. That certainly put her in good spirits finally realizing everything may just work out.

For dinner, Jane decided to cook for Maura who seemed to be doubting her skills.

"_Are you sure you don't want Angela or I to prepare something?" Maura asks for the nth time._

"_No, Maura. I'm going to cook for you. Why do you keep asking?" Jane asks skeptically._

_Unable to lie Maura simply states the truth. "Well, your mom did say you never asked her to teach you to cook."_

"_So because my mom didn't teach me family recipes you think I can't cook?" Jane questions in defense._

"_I'm just saying-"_

"_Did your mom teach you to cook?" She asks grabbing her now surrendering girlfriend by the hips and stopping her from escaping the kitchen._

"_No, but she enrolled me in several cooking classes." Maura explains._

_Jane just smirks triumphantly and squeezes Maura's hips. "If my meal is delicious you owe me. You do whatever I want tonight." She challenges confidently._

"_I don't know if I want to take that bet." Maura gulps._

_Jane just pulls Maura closer to herself and begins kissing her jaw. "I promise it will be a win-win situation." She rasps in her ear._

_Maura shivers in arousal before nodding an okay to the brunette. Jane kisses her once before returning to the kitchen smiling confidently._

_When she has prepared and plated their meal she calls Maura to the dining room and sets her plate in front of her._

_Maura eyes it trying to hide her surprise at how good it looks while Jane just smirks and begins eating without saying anything. She knows she's won and her prize is that much more satisfying when Maura takes a bite and moans her approval. Jane feels her arousal shoot to her core at the sounds the woman makes before her hoping she can get her to make the same sounds tonight._

"_Okay you win! This is delicious Jane." She exclaims happily._

_Jane smirks. "Glad you like it."_

"_Like it? Where did you learn to cook like this? Does your mom know you can cook like this?" Maura asks excitedly._

_Jane chuckles at her girlfriend's excitement. "One thing you'll learn about me, I know the right people who owe the right favors. And no my mom doesn't know because if she knew I learned from someone other than her she'd be angry."_

"_Why is there all this stuff I don't know about you?"_

_Jane pulls Maura's chair closer to hers and pecks her on the lips. "That's the great thing about this relationship. We already know so much about each other." She pecks her lips again smiling at the taste of her food on her lips. "But we also have so much more to learn."_

_Maura hums in approval against Jane's lips. "You keep surprising me."_

"_Mhm. And I believe tonight you owe me."_

"_Oh no. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this." Maura groans despite the smile on her face._

"_Don't worry it will be worth your while." Jane reassures._

They spend part of the evening on the couch enjoying a documentary Maura picked out. Well, Maura enjoyed it, Jane just let her mind wonder to other more interesting things. Eventually she gets fed up with watching the documentary and kisses Maura passionately hoping to turn her attention to other things. Thankfully for Jane, it works this time and within minutes they're on their way towards the bedroom with hastily discarded clothes left behind.

The next morning Jane and Maura ready for work in a rush, muscles aching in the best possible way from last night's activities. They head out the door with enough time to eat at the café before Jane's final day at work for the next few weeks.

"_Ma can we have some pancakes." Jane asks while taking a seat at a table in the corner across from Maura. "And not in the shape of bunnies please." She adds._

"_But I like the bunnies." Maura pouts._

"_Okay Ma, they can be bunnies." Jane relents before hearing whipping noises behind her as Frost comes up next to them._

_Jane punches him on the shoulder when he comes within reach. "Hey Jane. When you get done here come upstairs so we can fill you in on what's going on with this case." _

"_Okay." Jane agrees while he retreats. She smiles at Maura finally feeling happy that everything seems to be clicking into place._

"_You can go now if you want. I can bring you your food upstairs when Angela finishes it." Maura says._

"_Nope. I wanna stay here and enjoy breakfast with you." Jane explains earning a happy smile from the blonde._

"_I really want to kiss you right now." Maura says sadly._

_Jane leans over and pecks Maura quickly on the lips. "I don't care what anyone thinks baby, and this isn't work so we can be affectionate and not be unprofessional though what we did in your office Thursday was totally your fault."_

_Maura blushes. "Well you did your little pouty face because you were angry about the marks I left. It was all I could think of to get rid of your pout."_

"_So all I have to do to receive a kiss is pout?" Jane asks excitedly._

"_Well not if you're doing it and expecting a kiss."_

_At that Angela arrives with their pancakes and sets them in front of them. "You know, I'm used to picking up clothes at Jane's but your house is usually so tidy, Maura. Don't let this one muck up your beautiful home." Angela scolds._

_Jane notices Maura's blushing face and realizes her mom is talking about last night. "Oh God Ma. Okay, please just go back to work." When Angela walks away she turns to Maura and whispers "we gotta find her a new apartment and soon or else she'll be walking in on us every time we try to do anything" while putting a bite of pancake in her mouth._

"_I'm sure she knows we have sex, Jane. It's a perfectly healthy aspect of every relationship. I mean you wouldn't be here if-"_

"_Oh, oh okay ew. Don't you dare finish that sentence. Let's just eat before you ruin my appetite." Jane says while stealing a bite of Maura's food._

"_Hey. Why are you stealing my food?" Maura protests._

"_Yours tastes better." Jane shrugs._

"_We have the same thing."_

"_I think Ma did something different to yours." She explains while taking another bite of her own pancake. "Yup. This tastes different." She explains while switching their plates._

"_Hey. Don't take my pancakes." Maura exclaims while taking hers back. "Eat your own."_

"_But I like yours better." Jane pouts._

"_They're the same."_

"_No they're not." She demands._

"_Fine. Let me taste yours." Maura asks preparing to steal a bite when Jane presses her lips to hers. It takes her a moment to respond to the kiss due to shock. This isn't like the previous quick peck early ,. This is passionate and obvious. She'd always figured Jane would have been shy about their relationship around the people at the station. She's heard the things they had said about Jane being gay and Jane would usually whine to Maura about it. But here she is kissing her in front of a quarter of the station and they all talk so soon the whole station will know. And so she melts happily into the kiss that means more to her than Jane can possible imagine. When they break Maura whispers "wow" while smiling dreamily at a smirking Jane. "I think yours tastes better than mine." Maura says once she regains her composure._

"_Does it?" Jane asks nonchalantly. "Hmm. Then I guess I'll keep them." She adds before continuing eating her own food._

_Maura takes a few bites before addressing the questions buzzing around in her head. "So you don't care about them knowing about us?" She asks while waving her hand around to the crowd in the café who keep trying to act like they're not staring._

"_No. Of course not. They can say whatever they want. I love you and if they're not okay with that well they can mind their own business." Jane explains._

"_But then why did you get angry when they would talk before about your sexuality?"_

"_Because it's not their business, Maura. Especially when they don't know what they're talking about. Idle gossip is idle gossip. But if they say stuff about it now, well it's true and I really don't care anymore because I have you. As long as it's not offensive, they can say what they want. All that matters is how I feel about you." She says while taking Maura's hand in her own. _

_Maura smiles affectionately and returns to eating her food._

"_Do you care if they know? Did I cross a line?" Jane asks paranoid now._

"_Of course not. I feel the same way, I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable with this." Maura says._

"_Babe, I wouldn't have kissed you if I wasn't."_

"_Yeah. Um feel free to do that anytime." Maura smirks._

"_Really?" Jane asks while inching closer. "Even in front of Cavanaugh?"_

_Maura closes the rest of the distance and presses her lips to Jane's "Only if you want to risk punishment for unprofessional work behavior." She whispers against Jane's lips._

_Jane smiles and kisses Maura one last time before getting out of her seat. "Come on. Let's finish this last day of mine before I have a few weeks of paid medical leave."_

And now here Jane stands in the homicide office of BPD that's buzzing with movement as Frost and Korsak are strapping up in Kevlar and the head of the SWAT team is briefing them on their plan of action. She realizes her plans for this day may have just changed drastically.


	22. Chapter 22

She's sitting at her desk sighing dramatically every time Frost or Korsak walk past her desk in their haste of preparing for their sting. Finally after a particularly loud huff, Frost turns to her with an apologetic look upon his face.

"Look, I'm sorry you can't come with us. I know that you're basically healthy and prepared as always. But the doc's orders and Cavanaugh's orders are their orders. So you can't be a part of this, Jane. And I understand how bad you want to be there when we get this guy. Jessica was one of us and you want to see justice served for her, I feel the same way. So you gotta believe me when I promise I will personally take this asshole down today if I have too." Frost explains hoping to still her displeasure.

When Jane nods her understanding he hands her a radio. "Here. You can at least listen in to what's going down as it happens. And you'll be here when we bring the dirtbag in for questioning. We'll be calling Julia in later so Frankie will be happy." He smirks.

Jane laughs. "Yeah, they've gotten pretty close."

"Mhm. Well it looks like we're heading out. See you back here in about an hour tops." He says confidently.

"You get 'em. Be safe." She hollers to his retreating form.

"We will! What could go wrong?" He shouts back.

Within minutes BPD is vacant like no one was ever there and Jane loses herself in thoughts. She winces at Frost's retreating words thinking back to when Maura said those same words those many months ago.

_The gang could know you're coming. Santiago may not be there. It's a trap. They could go down with a fight and guns blazing. You could get shot. Oh my God so many things can go wrong and I'm not there. I need to be there for my partner. If anything happened to you because I wasn't there I don't know what I'd do._

Before she can even process what she's doing she's in her car, gun attached to her hip and radio on so she can hear what's going on. She hears the SWAT leader giving the orders to surround the hideout before she's even halfway there. She doesn't allow herself any time to think about her actions or the consequences though there can be so many. She's too busy imagining her partner getting shot because no one is there to cover him, that she doesn't imagine what could go wrong with her being there. She doesn't even have any Kevlar and yet all she's worrying about is Frost. She's too wrapped up in those thoughts to see the danger she's putting herself in.

Just as she's pulling down the street she hears the orders to move in. She pulls behind the SWAT vans and gets out to run up to Frost who she sees with the team leader continuing his instructions.

She ducks down when she hears the unmistakable sounds of gunfire coming from within the house.

Just as she's about to get to Frost, who still has yet to notice her, she sees an armed assailant emerge from the house next door gun aimed at an oblivious and unguarded Frost.

She pulls her weapon immediately shouting Frost's name to look out only shortly distracting the gunman while getting Frost's attention. He pulls his gun just as two shots are fired.

* * *

**A/N: Probably my shortest chapter yet but I just had to leave it there. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Actually, I'm really not because I'm evil like that. Gotta leave you all hanging till Wednesday.**

**Thanks for all the reviews/alerts/favorites. You guys are amazing and you're truly the reason I keep this going.  
**

**Review if you please (I really enjoy them...think of me like Tinkerbell, I need your applause to survive). Or hit up my tumblr I'd really love to chat with you guys. I don't bite I promise.  
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**Anyways, thanks for reading.  
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	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Oh my gosh all the reviews for last chapter were amazing. Thank you everyone for all the feedback. I think only one of you got where I was going with that cliffhanger in the long run which makes me happy that I'm keeping you all on your toes with this. I was worried it was getting predictable and well, we can't have that, can we? But thank you everyone, they really, truly keep me writing and I love reading your thoughts. **

**Okay so this was gonna be a heck of a lot longer, but I figured I'd cut it into two chapters so I could meet my deadline. But the good news is I know exactly where the next chapter is going so that will make it easier to write and we possibly may get an update before Wednesday. It's a win-win!**

**Enjoy and review if you please.  
**

* * *

It takes only seconds after hearing a shot ring out that wasn't hers to prompt her to fire again, the assailant finally falling limp to the ground.

"Send more guys into the house next door." She shouts to the team leader at she runs up to Frost who is now sitting pressed up against the SWAT van holding his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" She asks trying to remain calm. He just grunts and that's when she notices the bleeding hole in his left shoulder that he's trying to cover with his hand. She pulls off her jacket and presses it to the front and back of his shoulder to stem the bleeding.

"Ow!" He hollers at the contact.

"Oh don't be a baby. I gotta stop the blood." She explains pressing even further into his wound.

"How did you do it Rizzoli? This fucking hurts and you took one point blank to the abdomen." He manages to wince out.

She smiles her Rizzoli smirk at him before pulling her radio off her belt and calling in an ambulance.

"Not my proudest moment Frost, but it hurt. A lot! Trust me. I was lucky enough to pass out from the pain though."

"Yeah, well thanks partner. You saved my life." He admits affectionately smiling though a grimace at her in thanks.

"Don't mention it. I had a bad feeling and I went with it. I've always got your back."

"Well if I were you I'd get out of here before Maura shows up for the body you just laid out." He says motioning to the fallen gunman.

Jane gulps realizing Maura isn't going to be too happy at her stupid move. She's about to try and sneak away, but Korsak stops, her appearing from around the corner where another SWAT van was stationed.

"Jane, what the hell are you doing here?" He asks angrily.

"My job." She shouts back.

"Yeah well you're in a hell of a lot of trouble already. Cavanaugh knows you're here despite your desk assignment and IAB is gonna have all our asses handed to us for having an out of commission detective here. You could have just put this whole case in jeopardy not to mention your life."

Jane just looks down realizing how correct Korsak is. She may have saved Frost's life but Santiago could potentially walk because of her stupid mistake plus she's just shot someone while on temporary leave.

Korsak just shakes his head. "You can stay with Frost until the ambulance arrives, then you've got a meeting with Cavanaugh back at BPD and I can tell you, it's not going to be a pleasant one."

She hears an 'all clear' over Korsak's radio before he heads off into the house that's slowly being exited by SWAT members with their arrests in tow.

"For what it's worth, I'm really thankful you showed up. It was a really stupid move, but I owe you my life." Frost says sympathetically.

"Yeah, thanks. You'll pay me back one day." She says sadly.

A few ambulances pull up several minutes later. A few EMTs rush into the house while two rush over to Frost and help lift him to his feet so he can walk over to their vehicle. Jane follows and once he's settled inside she smiles down at him. She squeezes his good shoulder reassuringly. "Glad you're okay."

"Yeah, let's just wait and see what the damage was first." He says solemnly.

"Ah, it was a through and through." She says with a kind smile.

He peers out behind Jane and notices Maura pull up. "Maura's here. I think you should go talk to her, she's not gonna be too happy."

"Yeah." She agrees while heading out of the ambulance. She glances at Maura who gives her a disappointed shake of her head before walking off towards the body. The sight causes her heart to plummet and she knows she may have just ruined the best thing that's happened to her. She's about to follow and explain when Korsak comes back.

"Okay. Give me your keys. I'm driving you back to the station." He says once he's reached her.

"Can I just go talk to Maura for a sec, I think I may have just fucked up royally." Jane pleads.

"I'm sorry but the lieu is already on a tirade." Korsak responds apologetically while grabbing her keys. "Let's go."

They sit in the car in silence for moment before Jane can't take it anymore.

"Are you really mad at me?" She asks somewhat timidly.

He shakes his head and sighs. "I want to be, you know." He pauses for a moment. "I trained you, so when you do something against code, something not by the book, I think badly towards myself. You put your life in danger."

She just nods sadly and turns away from him.

"But then I think of all the good you do by not following the book to the letter. All the best lawmen are the ones who lay themselves on the line to protect who they love, and what they believe in. And that is why you're the best Jane Rizzoli. So it's hard to be mad when I'm so damn proud. You saved Frost's life."

She turns to him and smiles.

"But you're also an idiot. I'd rather you be a shitty cop and alive, then the best on the force and dead, Jane. We all would."

And just like that her smile droops.

"You could have got yourself killed out there. You could have at least thrown on a damn vest!" He berates her in a father-like manner.

"Look I'm sorry it was a rushed decision and I'm sad to admit I wasn't thinking. I just had a bad feeling." She admits.

"Yeah well if you still have a job by the end of the day, I think you need to stop thinking with your gut so much and use your brain. This could have gone bad for you."

"Trust me. I'm never doing this again. Did you see the way Maura looked at me?" She says sadly. "My job is the least of my worries."

"She'll come around." Korsak reassures.

"God I hope so." She breathes out barely above a whisper. "So, please tell me we at least got Santiago."

"If that idiot gunman hadn't come out from next door, we wouldn't have." Korsak explains. "Only his men were in the first house. Once you ordered SWAT into the house next door we found him."

"That's great. I didn't really fuck up our case against him did I?" She asks fearfully.

"There isn't gonna be one against him." He responds.

"What? Why the fuck not? We have so much to prosecute him with!" She demands angrily.

"Jane he didn't go down without a fight. That gunman you shot down isn't the only one coming back to Maura's slab."

"You mean they shot him?" She questions.

"Yeah, only after he got a few SWAT members in the vests and another in the hand." He explains. "This went to shit real quick without you interfering."

"What does that mean for me?" She worries.

"Good things I suppose. IAB is already gonna be all over this thing without you. And since you saved Frost's life and pointed out the threat next door, Cavanaugh might go easy on you."

"Yeah. Maura not so much." She mumbles while turning her attention outside the passenger window, effectively ending the conversation.

* * *

She's sitting in Cavanaugh's office now, having her ass handed to her. She tried to take her time getting to his office knowing what she faced. But eventually she had to make it in.

"I never took you for an idiot, Jane Rizzoli. Are you kidding me, you went in without even a vest on. What were you thinking? IAB is all over us already and now they want to know what kind of ship I'm running where I send in detectives with health problems into a sting without protection." He yells angrily.

"Look I'm sorry. I'll take the blame for everything-"

"No. I don't even care about that. You're not gonna do anything. I've already been written up and put on probation for you. What you're gonna do is pack up your desk, give me your gun and get out of here." He fumes.

"What? You can't fire me!" She shouts back.

"The hell I can't! But that's not what I'm doing. I don't know what I was thinking, not taking your gun in the first place. I trusted that you wouldn't go do something stupid and that's exactly what you've done." He says while settling down considerably and dropping a few decibels.

"So what does that mean for me?" Jane asks hopefully.

"You save a man's life today. But I'm not gonna praise you. You did something extremely stupid and doing something like that is gonna get you killed one day. I won't have any of my detectives die under my lead."

"I promise it was just temporary misjudgment that will never happen again." She pleads.

"Damn right it will never happen again!" He begins raising his voice again. "Your medical leave just turned into a suspension."

"What-"

"Unpaid!"

"How long?" She demands.

"Three weeks! And when you're in the condition to work again, you're going to take a few training courses with the rookies to get a reminder on protocol since you can't seem to follow it."

She groans knowing arguing is a worthless cause.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna have to find a temp transfer since another one of my detectives is in the hospital and Korsak can't work alone." He says ending the conversation.

When she goes to leave he stops her.

"Gun?" He asks reaching his hand out for the weapon.

She huffs before upholstering it and handing it to him and then leaving his office.

"So, how bad did you get it?" Korsak asks while she emerges from the room.

"Three weeks unpaid suspension and rookie classes when I get back." She moans.

"Damn, that sucks. But at least you still got a job. So how you gonna pay your rent?" He asks.

"I have a bit of money saved up. But I kind of was thinking of doing something with it in the coming months." She sighs. "Now I gotta tap into it and, I mean this is what it was for originally, I just had new plans for it."

He looks at her and raises an eyebrow pretty sure he knows what she's talking about but doesn't say anything. He pulls a box out and hands it to her. "Here. In case you wanna pack up some of your stuff."

"Thanks." She replies sadly while taking the box and packing up a few of the things on her desk. "I'm gonna take this down to my car and then go see Maura and hope to God this is fixable. I guess I'll see you in three weeks?"

"Nonsense. I'll be by to visit when you get back from your surgery." He responds. "Stay safe and good luck."

She nods a thank you before heading out.

* * *

She sits in her car with her head against the steering wheel for quite a while.

_I'm so damn stupid. Maura is going to kill me! I have to face her but I just can't._

She goes through all the possible ways this conversation can go, half of them ending with her walking out without a girlfriend. She looks up and realizes she's been in her car for almost 45 minutes. She's about to emerge and face the music when she hears a tap on her glass. Looking up fearing it's Maura, her heart calms when she sees Julia and smiles a tense smile before emerging.

"Hiding from the job this early in the day?" Julia asks happily.

"You haven't heard what happened today?" Jane responds less enthusiastically.

"Well I know the big fish I was supposed to be prosecuting didn't make it out of the sting, Frost got shot, my apologies on that, I know he's your partner, and I've got quite a few gang members to work on interrogating." She explains what she knows.

"Well then you missed out on the best part." She replies glumly. "I went to the scene despite desk duty, without a vest, distracted a guy before he could take Frost out with the headshot he easily line up and shot him dead."

Julia just sighs a dramatic sigh and leans next to Jane against her car. "Looks like it's been a crazy day. So have you faced your punishment yet?"

"Three weeks, unpaid suspension." Jane breathes out. "Plus I haven't even talked to Maura about it."

"Damn. Seems like you've got yourself in a hole. But you're not digging yourself out by being down here. I understand why you did what you did. You saved your partner's life. That's your job, to have each other's backs. I'm sure Maura will understand." She says sympathetically.

"You don't know Maura very well then." Jane says softly. "I think I've just fucked everything up."

"Come on. After everything you two have been through? You really think she's going to be mad at you for doing your job?" Julia asks skeptically.

Jane just lets out a deep breath. "Remember how she acted at the hospital?"

"Yeah." Julia nods.

"There's a reason she acted that way. I've had a history of…" She sighs again trying to figure out a way of explaining it. "We've had a few fights before about me being reckless and I just, I saw the way she looked at me today at the crime scene. She isn't happy with me, I've seen that look before."

Julia just remains quiet. At this point she really has nothing she can say. She's about to say something, anything, when Jane startles her by continuing.

"I'm such an idiot!" She blurts loudly. "Do you know I've been having nightmares about losing Maura?"

"Umm-"

"I'd wake up in the middle of the night and make sure she was still next to me. I kept having these dreams that she left me because something went wrong with my heart surgery." She looks down and shakes her head. "So stupid right?"

"Did you tell her this?" Julia asks.

"Sort of. I mean I didn't tell her about the nightmares but we talked about some of my concerns. And you know even after she promised that she'd never leave me, I managed to fuck it up in a totally different way."

"You don't know that." Julia protests.

"But I do. I don't even think she's going to be mad. She's going to be upset, disappointed with me. And that hurts the worst. I'd rather she yell at me, be angry. But Maura's not like that. We've only even fought, like actually fought where we both shouted, once in our entire friendship. ONCE!" She yells. "And you'd think that'd be a great thing for our relationship. But you know what? It hurts so much to see Maura look at me with this look. I don't know how to explain it, but it just breaks me and it makes me never want to see it again. And I promised myself I'd never see it again, I'd never make her look at me that way. And now I have to go in that office and see that look and I just hate myself right now more than anyone could."

"Jane, just tell her how you feel. Tell her what you just told me. Tell her you regret what you did." Julia pushes.

"I don't regret it." Jane responds immediately. "If I hadn't been there, Frost would… I had to do what I did."

"So maybe she'll understand." Julia presses.

"And maybe she won't" She shoots back.

"So you're not accomplishing anything by hiding out here. If she has to come and find you, I don't think it will make anything better."

"Yeah… well I guess I should go." Jane says sadly.

"You'll call me? If you need anything?" Julia asks hopefully.

"Yeah." Jane lies and heads into BPD.

* * *

It's weird how sense of time distorts depending on how you want to imagine its interval. Usually when she's in the elevator to the morgue it takes what feels like hours to get to the basement. It takes far too long to see that beautiful smile she loves so much. But now she's stepping out and towards the morgue in what feels like seconds. She paces a little bit before finally walking into the lab and taking a breath when she sees Maura's not in there. In her mind she wants to walk out and see her at home, but she knows that if Maura has at least two bodies from today, she's not out and about. And if she's not in the morgue working on a body she's in her office. She paces a little more wringing her hands in worry before finally stepping forward and walking into Maura's office.

The doctor looks up immediately from her paper work only to notice Jane and look back down and Jane's fears are solidified.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Well this is the longest chapter I've ever written and I've managed to have it out before Wednesday. So good news and bad news, good: early update...bad: You may end up waiting longer than a week for the next update as I can't promise another one so soon but you'll definitely have it by next Wednesday on regular update day.**

**Sorry for any mistakes, it's late and I only read it over once. (Shoot me, it's hella long).  
**

**And it's a bit angsty so umm get some tissues if you're easily saddened.  
**

**And there's also a bit of a nod to JTam. Actually more like a subtle "get your shit together" (Call it frustration).  
**

**Anyways, enjoy and review please...this time I'm gonna beg that you review because I'd really like to know what you think about this chapter. And thanks for all the reviews I've been receiving, you guys are so great.  
**

* * *

Her heart plummets at the sight of Maura's actions and she realizes if she didn't have any idea what she was going to say before, than right now she might as well not even know the English language. She stands quiet momentarily hoping that Maura just had to finish a sentence but after plenty of time passes she knows any form of conversation is going to have to start on her account.

"Maura." She rasps out as together as she can manage though her voice still cracks on the last syllable. "Please." And now she's just trying to keep it together before she ends up on her knees in front of her begging. "Please don't be upset with me."

Maura looks up finally and shakes her head at the brunette. "How am I supposed to feel then, Jane?" It's not bitter and that's what hurts Jane the most. It's that Maura truly doesn't know how to feel about the current situation. And then there's that look.

"Be angry with me; hate me as much as I hate myself for being so stupid. But please forgive me." She begs remorsefully.

"I am angry with you." Maura returns calmly.

"No you're not. You're disappointed. Be angry at me, yell at me, and tell me I'm an idiot. Hold a grudge but please work with me to get past this."

"I don't want to get past this, Jane. Because I know that it will happen again. You do your job so well Jane, but you don't think about the consequence of your actions. It's what makes you a great detective but a really hard person to love. I will forgive you, Jane. I always forgive you, because I love you so much." Maura responds truthfully.

But Jane can hear it in her voice that this confession isn't very settling and she almost wants to beg Maura not to continue. She doesn't want to hear the doubt and disappointment she can predict in Maura's thoughts.

"But I've also been thinking Jane. Thinking about how selfish you are. And it makes me so upset that your selfishness comes from your selflessness. It's hard to be angry when I see the good that you do."

Jane just stares at her confused by what she's trying to say.

"You're an amazing person Jane. You saved Frost's life and you're so protective over everyone you love. But you don't think of consequence and that makes you reckless and one day you won't get so lucky."

"What do you want me to do, Maura?" She pleads hoping there is some way to fix this.

Maura shakes her head and when she lifts it, Jane can see the tears in her eyes.

"Jane, you can't change who you are. You're always going to be this person that puts everyone before them. And it makes me feel awful that I don't want it to be this way. But I can never make you change who you are or quit your job because that's not right."

"I can though Maura. I can change."

Maura just shakes her head. "I'm not asking you to."

"So what does that mean for us?" It takes everything in her being to hold back tears as she knows the answer to this question is one she really can't bear to hear.

"How do you expect me to feel about this? The fact that sometimes I think you don't care about me, or Angela or Frankie enough to protect yourself."

"Maura I didn't think-"

"That's it Jane. You don't think. How do you think we'd feel if we lost you? How do you think we felt after you shot yourself?"

And now that it's said, Jane realizes where this is all coming from and she has no idea how to fix it. How to convince Maura that she won't do this anymore. That she'd rather have Maura in her life than remain the person she is.

"But I do love you. And I care Maura. Sometimes I don't think but I will now. I can't lose you. I can't go back to being just friends."

"Jane I love you so much, I always have. But I can't invest in you, in loving you more than I already do with this threat of losing you. You saved Frost's life, and I admire you and love you for your heroics and your strengths. But I'd rather you be alive next to me in bed than a hero in a casket. I have to be selfish to save myself. Because if I let myself love you any more than I already do, I may not survive losing you in the future."

"Maura, what about me? Losing you right now will kill me." She manages through her sobs to bid one final plea.

"I can't Jane. Because all I can think about is settling down with you and having kids with you and you never coming home to me or them one night." Maura admits through her own tears.

"You want kids with me?" Jane asks through momentary happiness that Maura was thinking about the future just as much as she had.

"I did." And now she can't control the tears as they fall for the future that Maura had just mentioned before her and taken away with two concrete words.

"You can't even manage to be safe for me. How could I ever expect you to do so for children? You don't think of the consequence, you just act. And that's not fair to me; it's not fair for anyone who loves you."

Jane lets the words Maura's saying seep in. She doesn't argue because she knows it's true. She's reckless. And everything she's done to provoke this, she has done without thought of consequence. Of how others would feel if she died. She holds back tears as Maura continues and finally says the words she knew were coming.

"I've realized that I can't do it. It's not that I don't want to, Jane. I love you so much. I don't know how many times I've said it, but it always has and always will remain true. But, I think we should go back to the way things were. I can only be your friend, Jane. I can't give you my heart if you can't protect yourself to carry it."

"Maura what do I have to do to change your mind?" Jane asks taking steps towards Maura.

"Nothing." She says resolutely. "I think it would be best if you went with your mother to Cleveland so we can have time apart to readjust."

"Maura, I'm not going without you." Jane protests. "I can't. I can't do it without you."

"Please, don't make this harder than it already is." Maura asks changing the positions when her voice cracks and she becomes the one begging.

The emotions that run through Jane's mind at the moment are unsettling and too much. She's devastated that she's just lost the one person she's ever loved. She's angry at her own stupidity. She's in denial that this is actually all happening today. She's frustrated that Maura is so resolute that she can't even fathom a way to fix it. She's conflicted as she doesn't know whether to walk away or keep trying. And she's also resentful that Maura is pleading with her to not make this any harder without giving her any say in the matter or doing the same for her.

Finally she makes a decision.

She wipes her tears and closes the last steps towards a crying Maura. She plants a kiss on her forehead and whispers one final apology and "I love you" before turning and leaving her office. Barely making it to her car, she completely breaks down into a sobbing mess behind the wheel.

* * *

She walks into her apartment with her shoulders slumped and her heart heavy. It takes her seconds to find the beer in her fridge. After downing one she moves on to something stronger. She takes a seat on her couch with a shot glass and some Jack.

Taking a look around the apartment she hadn't even set foot in for 3 days, she sighs before throwing back a shot.

Sitting in silence swallowing a shot every once in a while, she finally begins to feel a familiar sense of warmth overcome her. She's about to drink what could be her 5th possibly her 7th shot when her phone rings. Momentarily anxiousness of hoping it's Maura fades into disappointment when she sees the name Julia on the screen and silences her phone.

She sends her mom a text telling her she'll need to take the week off and escort her to Cleveland tomorrow. Luckily the bags are packed into her car and the tickets are in her carryon that's also pack so she doesn't have to face the woman who's just broken her heart before she goes to get it repaired.

And now her thoughts are back on the causation of her drinking. Maura Isles.

They'd only been together a week before Jane had royally screwed it up. She loved Maura for so long and now that she finally had what she's wanted all along, she's ruined it. They've already made it through so much together, and now that she's had Maura she knows she could never settle for going back to just friends. But Maura seemed so resolute that she really doesn't know what to do with herself.

They've gone through more trials than even the most loving and functioning couples could withstand and escape together. Jane had shot Maura's own father. God, that had probably been one of their worst fights. No, not probably, it was. Because when they fought, it became an all out brawl. But eventually Maura had forgiven her, and she almost admitted then that she loved her in a more than platonic way. She shakes her head scolding herself for not, but then realizes maybe it was a good thing she didn't.

_That would have went over well. "I'm sorry I shot your father to protect the man I'm trying to get over my love for you with. But it's not working and now I've gone and ruined everything because I love you and by the way, once again, I just shot your father."_

She almost snorts aloud thinking of what a disaster that would have been and that's when she realizes her buzz has turned into being pretty damn drunk. Knackered, wasted and still absolutely miserable.

Then she thinks of a time that topped her shooting Maura's father. She thinks about the time she had shot herself and the way Maura had treated her afterwards. It wasn't the same as when she shot Paddy. No, she thinks back to it and realizes this was absolutely worse. Because unlike with Paddy when they would argue and fight, after shooting herself, Maura barely spoke to Jane the entire time she was in recovery and several days after. And that was the first time she received that look that pained her so much.

* * *

_To say that everything hurt was an understatement. Her eyes were closed but she could feel it. Like a knife to her abdomen, or rather a bullet. It started out small, then gradually got worse and worse and she couldn't understand why. And as much as she tried, she couldn't bring herself to move and figure out what was causing it. The more she tried to fight and open her eyes, the more the pain strengthened. Finally she found it within herself to open her eyes. It was as if they had been weighed down with something. As a person of such strength she couldn't understand how something as simple as lifting an eyelid seemed borderline impossible but eventually they were open, only to shut seconds later due to insensitivity to blinding light._

_She groans at the now stinging pain in her eyes, forgetting momentarily the one in her abdomen. She twitches her hand only to notice another hand gripping it._

"_Jane." She hears from a voice she's always glad to hear, but now so much more than ever. She opens her eyes again, squinting and blinking to see Maura looking down on her with a sad expression._

_She groans again but tightens her grip on Maura's hand. "It hurts." She mumbles._

"_Yeah well that tends to happen when you shoot yourself." Maura says in a calm voice that doesn't fit the bitter tone it should be paired with. She removes her hand from Jane's and leaves._

_Jane sits in bed stunned. She can't believe what just happened. Maura had withdrawn from her while she was lying in pain in a hospital bed and then just walked out._

_Moments later Maura returns with a man in a white coat. "I'm Dr. Byron Slucky." He introduces. "I'll be handling your post-surgery procedures along with Dr. Davis, who will be your physical therapist."_

_Maura stands quietly in the corner while the doctor assesses Jane. "I'm sure you're aware that you needed surgery to repair injury caused by a bullet going through your abdomen. We've repaired all your organs and stitched you back up but recovery is going to be a process. It may be a while before you're able to function without pain."_

"_Yeah, you don't have to warn me about pain. I can already feel it." Jane grumbles while eying a still silent Maura in the corner._

"_Right, well I'll have the nurse come in an up your pain medication. Hopefully that will make it a little more tolerable. You're going to be in here a while for recovery and then we will set up some physical therapy sessions a couple days a week with Dr. Davis and I."_

_Jane nods a thank you to the doctor before he retreats. Maura pulls out her phone and steps closer to Jane's bedside. "Your mother's with Frankie right now, I'll call her to tell her you're awake."_

_Jane tries to protest but Maura is already on the phone. After she completes her call she sits down in the chair furthest from Jane and runs a hand through disheveled hair._

_Jane stares incomprehensively at Maura's actions. "Maura, Frankie's alright?" She asks worriedly._

"_Yes. He woke up about an hour ago. He's fine." She replies tersely._

"_Okay." Jane drawls. "Is everything okay?"_

_Maura nods._

"_Okay, what's wrong?" She asks still confused by the current situation._

_Maura sits silently for a few seconds before getting the courage to speak. "Jane, why did-"_

"_Janie!" She hears from her mother before being engulfed in a hug and interrupting a now silent again Maura."I could just kill you right now. Why would you shoot yourself? Are you an idiot?" She scolds while still holding Jane tightly._

"_Ma. You're hurting me." Jane squeaks in pain._

"_I'm sorry." She says quickly releasing her. "I was so scared I'd lost two of my children tonight."_

"_I'm fine Ma, it was a through and through. How's Frankie?"_

"_He's good. You don't need to worry about him. He'll be out in a few days." Angela informs her. "Jane, why did you do this to yourself? You guys were surrounded, that guy had nowhere to go."_

"_I wanted Frankie to get help and he didn't have time to sit down in that morgue waiting for the gun show to be over upstairs." Jane explains. She wasn't one for pity, but she did put her brother's life before hers. She'd rather her brother live than herself if she had the choice and honestly it'd go for anybody. It was her job, and she'd go to the ends of the Earth performing it if it meant the safety of the people she loved and cared about. She'd take a bullet for anyone in her family. She'd take one for Frost and Korsak. And especially Maura. She'd do anything to protect the woman she loves so much._

_Jane turns her head to Maura and looks at her noticing the pain in her face, she hears her mumble, "help had already arrived for him."_

_She frowns about to speak up before Maura says "I'm tired. I'm going to head home and get some sleep. I'm glad you're okay Jane." She exits before Jane can protest._

* * *

It took Jane so long to understand why Maura was so upset with her. Maura only began talking to her when Angela had her go to Jane's apartment to check on her and she had found Jane crying on the couch in pain. That was when Maura had revealed her relationship with Stucky while she pulled out her cell and called him to inform him of Jane's discomfort and had him change her therapy.

But now Jane knew why Maura acted the way she did. Jane had shot herself, put someone's life before hers and almost took her own to save theirs. And Jane knew this was when Maura had discovered she loved her. She realizes that Maura probably felt conflicted, by her love for Jane and her anger at her shooting herself. And this just explains exactly what happened in her office today. Maura didn't break up with her because of today's actions. She broke up with her because it's a vicious cycle of Jane's selfless acts always almost putting her in the ground. And Maura's right, as much as her actions are selfless, they're also selfish because she doesn't think about how others would feel if she were gone. It's something she never meant to do. To make Maura feel like she didn't love her enough to remain safe. And yet she did it and now she has to find some way to fix it.

Her thoughts are interrupted by her doorbell ringing and she's pretty sure it's her mom probably just receiving her message and coming to console her or kill her. Yeah, kill her is more likely.

She opens the door however to reveal a dark haired, tall, Spanish woman she's gotten to know quite well.

"Julia? How did you know where I lived?" She slurs.

"Umm, I'm dating your brother and he told me." She steps inside and helps hold a wobbling Jane up. "Are you drunk?" She asks angrily.

"I may have had a little bit to drink." Jane mumbles.

Julia helps her to the couch and sets her down while picking up the Jack preparing to hide it. "That's incredibly stupid of you. You're having surgery in two days, you've been treated for dehydration and you have a heart problem and you're over here getting plastered." Julia scolds.

"Just what I need, another person scolding me for doing the stupid things that I do. Because guess what? I'm reckless." She doesn't mean to be rude to Julia. But it's who she is. She takes her anger out on other people when it really should be reflected towards herself.

Julia just sighs, knowing this is just Jane's way of hiding her sorrow; she puts the Jack away before returning with some Gatorade and a protein bar from the kitchen. "Eat and drink." She demands while handing it over to the detective and taking a seat next to her.

"Why are you here?"

"Because I saw Maura leave early in tears so I know something went down between you two and you never called me." Julia explains. "Now eat that so you can sober up and we can have an actual conversation." She demands once again, this time Jane complies.

Once the bar is eaten and half the Gatorade drank by the detective, Julia settles into the couch more comfortably. She hopes that by sobering her up, Jane won't be as abrasive. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"She broke up with me." Jane blurts sadly before falling over and burying her head in the couch.

"I kind of figured that, I was hoping you could give me a little more than that." Julia presses.

"I deserve it. I deserve to be alone forever because everything she said is the truth. I'm reckless and I care more about everyone's safety than my own." Jane rushes out against the pillow of the couch.

"Jane, that's not necessarily a bad thing." Julia admits.

"Oh it's not?" She asks challenging while raising back up into a seated position. "How about the fact that I shot myself? Did you know that? I almost killed myself in hopes of saving my brother. She's right. I thought his life was more important. That it'd be better if he lived and not me."

"Why would you think that?" Julia asks.

"Because it's the truth. You're dating him, wouldn't you rather he live than me?" Jane asks.

"No. I'd want you both to live."

"What if that's not an option. You had to choose."

"I'd never do that!" Julia shouts. "Why would you ever put someone in that position? Your life is no less important than anyone's, Jane. You need to realize that. If you don't have the will to live, to protect yourself and remain safe and careful, well, then you are reckless."

"Yeah well there you go. At least I'm good at my job." She says bitterly.

"Yeah and you're also an idiot." Julia bites back.

"I am." Jane sighs sadly. "I just lost the best thing that's ever happened to me because she thinks I'm reckless because I don't love her enough to be safe. But she's wrong, I love her more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. And I'd never shoot myself again, that's for sure. I love her too much to leave her like that. But she doesn't believe me."

"The amount of times your emotions have changed since I've walked in that door is astounding to me." Julia jokes.

"I get emotional when I drink too much." She admits.

"Did you tell Maura how you felt?"

"Julia, she has every right not to want to be with me. I am reckless. I put my life in danger all the time and don't think about the consequences."

"So stop doing that. Stop rushing in and being the hero all the time. Every time you go to do something ask yourself how dangerous it is and how Maura would react if you got hurt. And don't do anything that's unnecessary danger."

"I already planned on that, Julia. But she already broke up with me and basically said there is no way to change her mind."

"So you're just going to give up?" Julia asks disbelievingly.

"I mean, it's for the best for her." Jane shrugs. "Even if it's killing me, it's what she wants."

"Really? You're giving up that easily?"

"I'm not giving up. I'm just-"

"Giving up." Julia interrupts. "At least tell her how you feel."

"She deserves better than me."

"And now we're back to feeling sorry for our self. Okay this is your problem." Julia declares.

"What is?"

"You're so self conscious. So self deprecating that you don't think you have a chance with a woman who conveys her love to you with just one look. And then the amount of self loathing, my God! You come off as confident and cocky, but on the inside you're so insecure. And that's why you put everyone's lives before yours like some sort of list of order with your name at the bottom, when you mean so much to so many people, Jane."

"Well, what am I supposed to do about it?"

"Stop. If you can't manage to realize your own worth, how do you expect other people to? But that's not even the point, because people already love you and cherish you. So stop being reckless, if not for yourself than for the ones around you. How do you think your mother would feel if she lost her only daughter? And then what about Frankie, and your little brother, Frost, Korsak, _me_, and especially Maura! You mean something to us." She says in one breath.

"Why are you so damn right all the time?"

"I'm a fucking lawyer, I can argue my way to any point." Julia laughs.

Jane chuckles a genuine laugh.

"Ahhh, there. Finally a laugh." She points out through a smile.

"Okay, okay. You're right. But how am I possibly supposed to win Maura back? Prove to her that I'll be careful. That I care about her and would never hurt her, even if that means choosing her over the job?"

"I don't have all the answers, Jane. I'm not some guardian angel. I'm just a woman who gives some good advice. But telling her is a good start. Tell her you're never gonna give up on her." She shrugs.

Jane takes a breath and tries to figure out what to do. "I wish I didn't have to have this surgery. I could go over there tomorrow morning and just, I don't know. But I have to be at the airport by ten and I doubt I could win her back in a few hours."

"Well, tell her after your surgery. That gives her time to cool down and you the sympathy factor."

Jane laughs and shakes her head. "God this surgery is like a big fucking metaphor. I have a broken heart in more ways than one right now."

"Don't go getting poetic on me now, Rizzoli. You're still a tough as nails detective." Julia quips.

"You've seen me faint, you've seen me crying over a girl, you've seen me drunk and emotional and if you stay with my brother I'm pretty sure you're going to see me in so many different states. Basically, there should no longer be a tough as nails façade to you anymore. Besides I'm not tough. You know who the strongest person I know is?"

"Who?"

"Maura Isles." Jane states truthfully.

"Of course."

"No, it's the absolute truth. She's so strong emotionally. I mean the things she's been through with her family and then her father being Paddy Doyle and what she went through with her biological mother. She manages to keep it together. And physically she's definitely stronger than me. You know, one time I had to cut open her leg in the woods-"

"What?" Julia gasps.

"Long story. But, I did it without any anesthetic and she was so strong. I mean she did eventually pass out from the pain. But she walked for hours on that injured foot before she finally stopped me. And then she still managed to use her intelligence to save our lives. I'd have never thought to use Morse code." Jane explains while beaming proudly.

"You really love her don't you?" Julia asks while smiling at the look on Jane's face.

"More than anyone could ever fathom. I've always been scared of commitment because I'd been worried that if anyone ever loved me they'd want me to quit my job, and I knew I'd do it, if I loved them enough. But Maura loves me so much, she'd never ask me to do so. But with her I'm not scared about that any more. Because she loves me so much she'd never ask me. And I love her so much, that she doesn't have to. I'd choose her over my job any time."

"Well then all I can tell you is what I've been saying this whole time; convince her of how you feel and win her back."

Jane knows that it won't be easy but she's sure she will try. The silence that emerges from her contemplation is broken by the sound of her phone ringing. She looks and sees it's her mother and she's dreading having to answer and explain to her what's happened but she knows she has to talk to her mom. Julia just nods she should answer before she pulls the phone to her ear.

"Hello." She answers cautiously.

"Jane Rizzoli what did you do?" Angela shouts into the phone.

"Ma, please don't do this now." Jane begs.

"Why is Maura locked in her room crying and you're not here comforting her?" She demands.

And Jane's heart breaks even more. She figured Maura would be fine. She knows she's strong. Definitely stronger than her. But hearing she's crying alone just makes it more obvious how broken up she is about this.

"She broke up with me." Jane finally answers sadly.

"Then why is she crying? Come over here and fix it."

"Ma, you don't think I tried? And what about me? You don't think I'm upset by this?"

"You're not as broken up as she is." Angela explains.

"Just because I'm not crying anymore doesn't mean I'm not hurt. Why are you taking her side?"

"I'm not taking sides, Jane. But, yes Maura needs me more."

"How do you know? I'm the one that's your child."

"Maura may not be blood, but I think of her like my daughter, Jane. You know that."

"I do. You're right. Just take care of her, okay?" Jane asks helplessly. She knows if Maura is really this upset, she needs her mother more than she does.

"Why aren't you here fixing it? What happened?" Angela demands again.

Jane explains what happened today and all the things Maura said to her in her office about why they had to break up.

Angela sighs on the other end and tsks Jane.

"Yes, Ma. I know. I'm an idiot. I did a stupid, reckless thing." Jane says sadly, repeating everyone's admonitions throughout the day.

"Jane, that wasn't what I was going to say. I've come to terms with the type of person you are. But, are you going to sit at home and do nothing about it? What about Cleveland?"

"I think I should give Maura her space. I'm going to have my surgery first and plead for forgiveness when I come back. I was going to ask you to come to Cleveland with me, but I want you to stay and take care of Maura for me. I'll go alone."

"Jane you can't go alone." Angela shouts in the phone.

Jane pulls the phone away and mouths the word ow before covering a now deaf ear. "Thanks for possibly deafening me Ma, but I have to-"

Before she can finish the sentence, her phone is snatched out of her hand by Julia. "Angela, don't worry about Jane, I'll go with her to Cleveland."

"Julia?" Angela asks to be sure.

"Yes. I'll take the week off and escort her to Cleveland and keep you updated on her health."

"Julia, I can't ask you to do that. You have a job-"

"I offered and I can take a week off. I'll move stuff around and assign someone to my cases. Don't worry about it." Julia assures her.

"Julia you don't have to do this." Jane interjects.

Julia pulls the phone away to respond. "I'm not doing it out of obligation. I want to." She shrugs before returning to the phone call. "Is that fine Angela?"

"I suppose that will work, Julia. If you're sure?" She asks one final time.

"I am." Julia insists.

"Okay. Thank you so much. Can I speak to my daughter please?"

Julia hums a yes before handing the phone back to the detective.

"Jane Rizzoli, you better be nice to that woman the entire time you're in Cleveland. And bring her back in one piece for Frankie. She's a keeper." Angela says admiringly.

Jane just rolls her eyes. "She is. Which means you shouldn't hound her about grandchildren and scare her off, Ma."

"I wasn't going to, Jane. But I mean it. Be nice. And come over in the morning first please, so I can see you off." Angela asks.

"Okay Ma. Please watch over Maura. I love you."

"I will. I love you too, Janie. Get some rest." Angela says before hanging up.

When Jane hangs up she slumps over in the couch and sighs loudly. "Sometimes I can't possibly believe my life is real. I feel like I'm part of a television show where the writers clearly want me to be single despite my obvious love for my best friend."

Julia just chuckles. "You're being so dramatic. You're acting like a real Blanche Dubois right now."

"I feel like her. Relying on the kindness of strangers and all. You're incredibly nice. Taking a week off of work to take someone you barely know to have heart surgery."

"Wow, you got the reference?" Julia laughs.

"What?" Jane asks feigning hurt and pushing playfully on Julia's shoulder. "I read things. Besides I've been best friends with a walking, talking encyclopedia for years, I know quite a lot about things people wouldn't often expect me to."

"Maura does know an awful lot of stuff. How does she fit it all up there?"

"She's quite the enigma." Jane sighs.

"Oh God. I can't deal with this lovesick dreamy side of you. It's ruining your badass cred. Quick, say something sarcastic." Julia jests.

"You've been insulting me an awful lot within the past few minutes. Enough about my mess of a relationship. How're you and my brother?"

"Hmm should I go into full on detail or-"

"Ew. No. I will kick you out of my house." Jane warns.

Julia just laughs. "Now is that a way to treat me after all I've done for you?" Jane just looks at her unamused. "We're good. Your brother's a really great guy."

"Yeah. He is isn't he?"

"Definitely a keeper and definitely a better fit for me than Maura. So any idea on what you're going to do about her?"

"Right now I think I'm just going to focus on this surgery. I really don't know how I'm gonna manage it without her. She's my rock."

Julia squeezes Jane's shoulder reassuringly and gives her a smile. "You'll be fine. And when you come back here, you'll win Maura back and everything will be okay. That's what you gotta keep telling yourself. Stay positive."

"Easier said than done. But I should sleep and you should go home and pack and tell my brother about your new plans." Jane suggests.

"Yeah. Get some rest. What time is the flight?"

"Ten."

"Okay. I'll be back here around seven. I'll bring you some breakfast. Get some sleep okay?"

"I'll try." Jane nods. When Julia gets up and prepares to leave Jane stands and stops her. "Thank you. For everything. For stopping me from drinking myself into oblivion tonight, for giving Maura that push to tell me how she felt, for offering to do this. You're an amazing person Julia and I'm glad you're with my brother."

"I'm just being a good friend but thank you, Jane."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bright and early." She responds before backing out of the apartment.

Once she closes the door she takes a deep breath and heads to her room where she pulls out a piece of paper and begins writing.

* * *

True to her word Julia was at Jane's house at seven a.m. and thanks to Frankie knowing his sister, was able to use the key he gave her to enter and rouse a still sleeping Jane from bed.

"How'd you get in here?" Jane mumbles into her pillow.

"Your brother figured you wouldn't be up." Julia shrugs before yanking the covers off the detective. "How is it you manage to get up for work every day but you can't even get out of bed now?"

Jane groans at the loss of warmth before finally sitting up. "Maura." She says and it's the only explanation Julia needs.

"Okay well here. I got you breakfast. You've got a half hour to eat and get ready before we head over to Maura's to see your mom and then we should make it to the airport by nine." Julia informs her while handing her a coffee and a bagel.

"Thank you." Jane says while taking the food.

"I need your keys so I can put my luggage in your trunk."

Jane opens her nightstand and pulls out her keys before handing them to Julia and then turning to her food.

"By the way. As soon as we get back you're going to Maura's and working this out. You look like shit." Julia yells once she gets to the door.

"Thanks. Best compliment I've ever been given." Jane responds sarcastically.

* * *

45 minutes later they're on the road to Maura's and Julia is fuming at Jane's tardiness.

"My God, how did you do anything before Maura? You have 20 minutes with your mom now."

"Trust me, I don't think I could stand anymore. I just hope she's not a crying mess." Jane grumbles. "Are you always this bossy and no-nonsense?"

"Hmmm. I don't know. You'd think with my attitude I'd be an amazing lawyer." She jokes back.

"Ha Ha." Jane replies sarcastically.

When they pull into the driveway Julia taps her watch and says "20 minutes."

Jane rolls her eyes before getting out and going around to the guesthouse to find her mother. When she knocks the door opens immediately and she's pulled into an embrace by Angela.

"Ma, can't breathe." She mumbles.

"Janie." Angela cries after releasing her.

"No, please don't cry Ma." Jane begs.

"I can't help it. I just don't know how I'll manage with you having this surgery so far away."

"I know Ma. But you really should be here with Maura, I have Julia and she needs someone. How is she?"

"Not well Jane. She didn't end up going back into work even though she isn't going to Cleveland with you anymore. I brought her breakfast and she ate it, but she wouldn't leave her bed."

Jane didn't know what hurt more. The fact that Maura was still in her room crying or that Maura had broken up with her even though she clearly still loved her.

"Make sure she eats and stuff okay? Try to get her out of bed and maybe convince her to go to work? She always told me it helps get her mind off things." Jane asks as calmly and together as she can manage.

"Jane, why don't you go in there and fix this?" Angela pleads.

"Because I have 5 minutes to get in that car before Julia kills me and that's not enough time to tell her what I need to tell her. Just give her this please." She asks while handing her mother an envelope. "She's not going to read it at first, but just keep mentioning it until you can convince her to, okay?"

Angela nods and takes the letter. "I love you sweetie. You tell Julia to call me every day and you call me when you can alright?"

Jane nods and hugs her mother one final time before marching off to the car back to Julia.

When she gets in the car, Julia gives her a small smile before pulling onto the road and onwards to the scariest thing Jane's probably ever done without Maura.

* * *

Angela allows a few tears to spill for her daughter before going into Maura's house and doing as Jane asked her to do. She peaks in on Maura who's still huddled in blankets on her bed. She sighs and walks over to her. Taking a seat on the bed, she places a comforting hand on Maura's shoulder.

"Maura, sweetie. You shouldn't lie in bed all day." She speaks softly and calmly.

"Never in my whole life have I felt so stupid." She mumbles into her pillow. Angela looks down at her, silently thanking that the doctor had stopped crying and had finally spoken.

"Maura. You're definitely not stupid."

"I am. You should hate me. I broke up with your daughter."

"You're my daughter too." She reassures her.

"I broke my promise to her."

"What promise dear?"

"I should be in Cleveland with her. But Angela, I can't be with her if she keeps trying to get herself killed. She's selfish. I need to be selfish. But it's hard to give up what I've wanted for so long. I feel so stupid for being so conflicted." She says with a broken voice.

"You know, I understand what you're going through. Jane, she's hardheaded. She has her beliefs and it's hard to change her mind on them. She has a hard time accepting help and an even harder time admitting her feelings. That head of hers is like a brick wall. And none of us can ever get through it. I've tried for years to get her to quit her job. But Maura, her job is who she is."

"I'm not asking her to change. I love who she is. I just want her to be careful for me, for you."

"After a few years I gave up. Sure I still tell her I don't like her job and try to get her to be careful, but she doesn't listen to me. The only person that has ever gotten through to her was you Maura. Janie is such a passionate person. So loyal and even if she doesn't want to admit it, so loving. If she loves you her instincts are to protect you and that's what she did for Frost today. But she loves you so much. And that passion she has, it's multiplied by a hundred when it comes to you. So if you ask her to stay safe, she'll do it, because she'll do anything for you. And you have to trust her when she tells you she'll do it."

Maura sniffles and nods. "Is she going to Cleveland alone? Why aren't you with her? She can't go alone."

"She asked me to stay and take care of you. Julia went with her."

"Julia?" Maura asks with a little more strength than her previous words and Angela sees something in her eyes. "Isn't she with Frankie?"

Seeing an opportunity, Angela shrugs. "Who can be sure? She offered to go with her and take off work and I just figured maybe it'd be better that way."

Maura's expressions change from hurt, to anger, to jealousy before going back to hurt and she starts to cry again. "I'm so stupid." She sobs.

"No, Maura. You're the smartest person I know. So use that brain of yours and figure out what you're going to do." Angela tells her before standing.

"The size of your brain does not determine intelligence." Maura states back.

Angela smiles at Maura's return to a bit of normalcy before handing her Jane's letter. "Read this when you're ready."

Maura nods and takes it before Angela heads out.

* * *

Lunch time comes and she still hasn't opened it. Angela walks in with a bowl of soup and sees it still unopened and wishes Jane weren't right. She figures it's time to change tactics.

"Are you gonna mope in bed all day?"

Maura just nods sadly.

"Well I made you lunch. Jane asked me to keep you fed." Angela lets out knowing it wouldn't hurt for Maura to know.

"She asked you that?" Maura asks shyly and disbelievingly.

"She told me to look after you while she was gone. Are you going to read her letter?"

"I'm scared of what I'll read. She's not mad at me?"

"Of course not Maura. She loves you. You should read her letter." Angela presses.

"But I broke up with her and I broke my promise. I let her go to Cleveland without me."

"I'm a little angry at you about that." Angela finally admits truthfully.

"You are?" She asks guiltily.

"Maura you made my daughter a promise and you left her when she needed you most. I understand why you broke up with her. Believe me, I do. It's a hard task of wondering when her crazy activities are going to end badly. But like I said, you should have talked it out with her, because she'd do anything for you. You shouldn't have broken up with her without giving her a chance. So yes, I'm upset. But you're my daughter too, maybe not by blood but I still think of you like that. And Jane, she blames herself for all this. Not you. So she's not mad, she's sad and upset with herself. But she loves you." Angela shrugs.

"I'm sorry." Maura whispers.

"I'm not the one who needs the apology. Eat." She says while placing the soup in Maura's lap. "And I suggest you read that letter."

Maura does as she's told and eats her lunch while staring at the letter the entire time. When she's done she sets the bowl aside and picks up the envelope. She doesn't know how long she stares at it before she finally gives in and opens it.

She reads it over, again and again. Stopping every time at the words "I love you" she sees written over and over. She sees sentences that read about the future. Tears dripping on the one that reads "all I can think about is raising a family with you." She futilely wipes her tears after reading "you're the best thing that ever happened to me." She notices the words "I'm sorry" written throughout and she believes every instance in which they are displayed. And then she reads the final paragraph through watery eyes.

_You told me you'd never make me choose my job over you. You said you'd never ask me to change. But I love you so much, that you'll never have to ask. I hurt you and all I can do is ask for forgiveness and prove to you that I will never take you for granted again. I will prove that I love you enough to be safer and take fewer risks on the job. And if I have to choose, I'll choose you every time. I used to think my job is what made me, me. But then I met you, and everything about me changed. I don't want to be married to this job anymore. I want to be married to you. I want forever with you. And if that means giving up being a detective, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I love you Maura Isles. And I'm not giving up on us._

And her tears spill stronger than before as she finally ends her internal battle and decides what she needs to do.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Wrote this chapter earlier than I thought I would and that was after rewriting it 3 different ways before settling on this one.**

**The reviews I got for the previous chapter were phenomenal. Thank you so much everyone who reviewed you guys are great and you're the reason this story has gotten this far.**

**Enjoy and review if you please. **

* * *

The flight to Cleveland was short and uneventful. Jane and Julia had talked mostly about Frankie, as Julia tried to avoid the topic of Maura for Jane's sake.

Jane enjoyed conversation with Julia; they really had a lot in common. The thing she most enjoyed was how easy it was to get along with her. They would sometimes bicker here and there and toss a few playful insults. When Jane would do the same with Maura she'd usually just brush it off or look at her with an unamused expression. But with Julia, she'd always throw something equally as good right back at her. It was a new experience being equally matched.

Lately she'd been such a great help in everything from getting Maura and her together to encouraging her to keep trying. She realizes that if she and Maura do get back together, well Julia would be a lot of the cause. She knew when to be supportive, but most importantly she knew when to call the detective on her shit. She was a strong force to be reckoned with and Jane was sure that's what made her a great lawyer. But most importantly, in just a few short weeks, Julia had been stepping up to be exactly the type of sister Jane had always wanted and needed.

Growing up with a house full of boys and a nosey mother, there weren't many options to talk about some of the feelings related stuff she would go through. It's why none of them really knew about Allison. And yes, Jane doesn't normally do feelings talk and if she does it's brief and with Maura. But right now is one of those times she needs to talk to someone and have someone hold her up. And Julia has been there greatly. She only hopes that Frankie keeps her around because she can see how wonderful of a woman she really is.

When they get to the hotel it only takes about three seconds before Jane throws herself onto the bed with a huff. "Have I told you how much I hate flying?" She mumbles into the mattress.

"Hmm. I think a hundred times isn't sufficient so maybe you can tell me again." Julia jabs. "Seriously, it was only like a two hour flight, tops. What are you gonna do if you ever have to fly international?"

"Bite your tongue."

"I don't know, Maura seems like a worldly woman. Your honeymoon is going to take you all over the world, just watch."

"If we make it to a honeymoon." Jane sighs softly into the mattress.

"I have no doubt you will. She just needs time." Julia promises.

"Yeah." She nods.

"So what do you wanna do in this great bustling city?"

"Sleep." Jane mumbles. "Flights wear me out."

"Oh come on. Don't you want to eat or something? Explore a little bit."

"I could eat." Jane agrees rising up into a sitting position.

"Great. Let's go find some place tasty." She says excitedly pulling the detective off the bed.

They travel around the city and bicker about where to go before ending up at a small family owned pizzeria.

"Seriously? We're in a different city and the only thing you'd agree on is pizza, Jane? What happens if you go to another country one day? Are you going to only eat at McDonald's?" Julia gripes before pulling a slice to her mouth.

"It's good though isn't it? So shut up."

Julia just sighs and shakes her head. "You're not one for change are you?"

"No, not usually." Jane responds through a mouth full of pizza.

And Julia realizes just how different from Maura, Jane really is. And maybe that's what makes their relationship so great. Opposites attract and they clearly even each other out.

They enjoy a good lunch of joking and talking about sports before Jane is interrupted by her phone vibrating. She pulls it out and reads a text before chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Julia asks confused.

"Have you talked to Frankie?" Jane asks through a few more laughs.

"I called him after we landed while you called your mom." Julia informs her.

"Read this." Jane demands before shoving her phone towards the attorney.

"Don't steal my girlfriend while you're away. You being a homicide detective has taught me quite a few things about covering up evidence." Julia reads through her own laughter.

"My brother's an idiot." Jane chides while texting back to him.

"But he's my idiot." Julia assents.

"Yeah, well enjoy your idiot." Jane says before taking a sip of her drink. "So now that we've got food in us, what do you wanna do?"

"Maybe we should take a ride by the hospital and scope it out, then go back to the hotel and relax." Julia suggests.

Jane looks down and wrings her hands a bit before nervously agreeing.

When they get to the car Julia turns to Jane who's looking more and more anxious. "Hey, we're just going to drive by and find the cardiac unit and go back to the hotel okay?"

"Okay." Jane agrees.

As they pass by, Julia can see Jane's apprehension. She points out where they will be going early tomorrow morning before taking a nervous hand in her own and giving it a reassuring squeeze and driving back to the hotel. Once they reach the hotel room she begins her questioning.

"You're really nervous about this, why?"

"It's heart surgery, Julia. Wouldn't you be nervous too?" Jane asks as she lies down on her bed.

"I would, but not this bad. Are you sure you're okay with this? Maybe I should call Angela and she can make a flight in."

"No. I'll get over it, you know. I just didn't think I'd be doing it without Maura. It's a little frightening without her throwing facts at me every second you know?" Jane breathes.

"Maybe you should tell me about you guys. Like tell me some stories about some of the things you've done together. Get your mind off the surgery and on what's waiting for you in Boston when you come out of this." Julia suggests. This whole day she'd tried to avoid the topic of Maura, but she realizes Jane only really seems at ease when the blonde, doctor is around. So maybe keeping her mind on Maura with distract her and calm her down.

Jane just sighs and starts at the beginning. She tells Julia about their first encounter while Jane was working undercover as a prostitute which gets quite the laugh out of the counselor. She tells her about all the things they've done together. The best cases they've had. The worst. Hoyt. She even tells her about when she fell in love with her.

They call in dinner and just talk. Julia almost can't believe some of the things that they've done, but she listens intently.

By the time Jane has told Julia everything she's noticeably calmer and ready to settle down for some rest.

"You know I wrote her a letter." Jane mumbles from her bed.

"You did?" Julia asks.

"Yeah. I gave it to my Ma to give to her this morning."

"What did you say?"

"Basically everything I told you last night." Jane sighs. "I don't expect her to read it. And even if she does, I don't expect it to change things. I just wanted her to know how I felt. I'm still going to fight for her even if that letter isn't enough."

"I'm glad. You two belong together." Julia asserts.

"You think?"

"After everything you've told me about you two, I know." Julia affirms through a smile though Jane can't see it in the dark.

"You know, I hated you when I first met you." Jane admits.

"Hmm. Understandable I suppose. I did have your girl." Julia shrugs.

"Even then I couldn't really hate you though. You were too nice. You have this weird thing about you, like you have the bark and the bite."

"What does that mean?" Julia asks.

"You have this aggressive side to you which makes you a great lawyer but then you're probably like the nicest person I've met. You're a walking oxymoron."

"I'm pretty sure you're the same, Jane. You've got this tough persona but you're a big softie on the inside." Julia jokes.

"We will not make reference to me being soft ever again." Jane says seriously.

"Mhm. You can't keep it up anymore Jane. I've seen you around Maura and how you talk about her." She explains.

"Well she's special so she gets a special side of me. But don't be fooled, for anyone other than Maura, I'm all bite."

"See. You two are good for each other, you're both so different but you even each other out."

"Yeah. I guess you're right. I just wish she was here. I wish I hadn't screwed up." Jane admits sadly.

"So let's get some sleep and tomorrow you get that surgery and we'll get you all healed up as soon as possible so you can tell her that in person."

Jane hums her agreement before falling into a gentle sleep.

* * *

It's 5:30 a.m. when Julia decides to wake the slumbering detective. "Jane." She says quietly while gently shaking the brunette's shoulder.

Jane groans before rolling over causing Julia to roll her eyes and sigh.

_Maura so help me if you don't take this woman back she won't know how to function. Two days in a row._

"Jane." She shouts. "Come on. Get up."

Jane finally cracks her eyes, sees Julia leaning over her and closes them again.

"Don't make me get an ice bucket." Julia scolds.

"I'm up." Jane mumbles while kicking the covers off. "Coffee?"

"No food or drinks for 12 hours before surgery. Sorry. Come on. We have to be to the clinic by 6:30 for your prep."

Jane finally sits up and rubs her tired eyes, breathing softly as reality hits her. Today is the day she is going to have her surgery and she is completely terrified. She dresses slowly, her mind on all the things that go wrong.

"I know you're thinking of every way this can go wrong right now. I may not know the facts like Maura, but I know complications are slim. Think about what could go right okay?" Julia says trying to distract her from the intrusive thoughts she senses are there.

Jane nods and continues getting ready while Imagining Maura being at the hospital with her.

When they reach the hospital they assign her a room, have her change into a gown and put her into a bed while they prepare her for her surgery.

Julia takes her hands that she's continually wringing together. "Don't worry. Okay? You'll be back here in a few hours and I'll be waiting right here."

Jane nods and whispers a thank you to her.

"I'm going to call your mom okay so you can talk to her and tell her how you're doing." She says preparing to remove her phone and dial the number that now comprises her entire call log.

"No." Jane shouts. "Call her after I leave please. I'd rather not hear her cry again."

"Jane, she's going to want to speak to you." Julia presses.

"Tell her the doctor came earlier than expected and I didn't have time. I just- I can't hear her like that again. Please." She begs.

Julia processes her request before agreeing hesitantly. "Okay. I'll call her when you leave."

"Thank you." Jane sighs calmly.

"Nervous?" Julia asks.

"More than I've ever been for anything in my whole life." Jane chuckles dryly.

Julia smiles and takes Jane's hand in hers. She continues her reassuring words to the detective trying to keep her calm before the nurses arrive, preparing to take her to surgery. Julia notices the spike in Jane's breathing at this point and she's sure that if she felt her heart right now it'd be hammering out of her chest. She gives the detective one last squeeze of her hand and a gentle kiss to her head, whispering "good luck" and "see you soon" before the nurses wheel her away. She watches her leave before calling Angela.

Before she can even get a word in Angela is speaking on the other end. "Julia! How's Jane?"

"She already left for surgery. I'm sorry but they prepared her faster than we thought and we didn't have time to call." She lies.

"Julia. Please tell me Maura made it." She demands ignoring Julia's excuse.

"Maura? What do you mean?"

"She left last night in her car to see Jane. She isn't there?" She asks worry evident in her voice.

"No. Why didn't she fly? Why didn't she call?" Julia questions beginning to become anxious herself.

_What if Maura's hurt and that's why she didn't call? Damn why did I listen to Jane? I should have called Angela anyways._

"She wanted to surprise Jane and all the flights were full. She called me a little over an hour ago and said she was close to Cleveland."

"Do you think she's okay?" Julia wonders.

Seconds later she hears a familiar voice yell "Jane" outside the hall.

"Angela, I think I just heard Maura. I'll call you back."

* * *

If she was conscious enough to understand and describe how she was feeling, the only words that would fit are déjà vu. Coming into consciousness from anesthetic isn't like awaking from a slumber. No, because when you awake it happens in stages, kind of like a ladder. Each new rung of this ladder is like another step into awareness. But you never truly know what's real and what's imagined until you reach the top of that ladder. Every rung before is just figment. And once you reach the top, the ladder may fall as everything you've experience on those rungs falls with it back into your subconscious like it never happened.

But waking from anesthesia, that was like turning a knob. With each turn everything would come more and more into focus. Slowly and steadily your senses heighten and strengthen and solidify. And everything becomes more real.

This time was no different for Jane. With each turn of that knob she was becoming more and more aware of feeling just as when she awoke from her surgery after shooting herself. Just the same, she feels a burning, a sensation she was not aware of until it gets stronger and stronger.

But this time it's different. This feeling isn't pain. No, it's a feeling all too familiar. A feeling she tried to ignore for years on end, denying it and then hiding it. A buzzing, burning within her very fiber. A tingling at the source that surges and travels throughout before digging deep within her chest and speeding up the pounding of the sole muscle within. A tether that holds her down when she feels she's about to float away.

And as she comes more and more into consciousness she becomes all too aware of what it is. As the knob turns she pieces it together and understands and her mind forms only one word: Maura. And now it's a frantic fight within herself to awake and prove that this is a sleep induced from anesthetic. That the knob is turning and Maura will be holding her hand just as she is imagining now. Because if the ladder falls and the tether breaks so will her heart.

A twitch of her fingers confirms the hand locked within her own is there. And when it tries to retreat her mind begins to function and she clasps harder around it keeping it stationed. The sparks intensify and she's sure the hand in hers is Maura Isles'. And so she grips it tighter and tighter as her strength returns and begins willing herself to speak or at least open her eyes.

Finally she manages to squeak out the word "Maura" only to feel the hand in hers twitch and now she's even surer. And then she hears a familiar voice whisper "I'm here, Jane" and with it she falls back into a peaceful slumber, her hand still clasping Maura's with all her strength.

* * *

**A/N 2: Just a PSA if I go missing for a little while: I'm going on a road trip for the DCI southeastern championships (Drum Corps, look it up if you like, it's like competitive marching band and it's amazing) this weekend so you may get a quick update this week if I can find time to write or a late update if I can't find the time. I have a lot of school work to do this week plus my job but I'll really try. In fact I'm going to start writing the next chapter now. **


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. I had major writers block. And I still kind of do but I managed to get this out and technically since FF runs on Pacific time this was out on Wednesday ;) I'm not too excited about this chapter, it's definitely not my best. I have maybe 6-8 more chapters planned before I wrap this up. Maybe more. I'm not very good at gauging event in chapter form. But after this chapter time is going to be moving a bit faster.**

**Anyways enjoy and review if you please.**

* * *

When she awakes the second time the drugs have worn off and she comes into awareness much more steadily. She opens her eyes to be blinded by the bright white lights of the hospital and blinks away the pain and annoyance. The grogginess slowly dissipates as she takes in her surroundings a little. She notices the tubing in her chest and the light throbbing pain in her chest and remembers she just had heart surgery. Then she faintly remembers Maura's voice and turns her head to notice a body next to her.

She sees Maura's head lying on her bed, her hand still in Jane's while she sleeps peacefully. Jane smiles at the image before her wondering how a grown woman could look so positively adorable and absolutely gorgeous at the same time. But that is just how Maura Isles is.

"Cute isn't it?" She hears whispered from across the room and lifts her head to see Julia lounging in another chair. "She had you placed in a private room. Pretty cozy huh?" Julia jokes.

"How'd she get here?" Jane asks as quietly as she can so as not to wake the sleeping blonde.

"She drove all night according to Angela. Poor thing's probably exhausted. She wouldn't sleep until you made it out of surgery." Julia explains.

Jane smiles at the thought of Maura driving ten hours in her Prius just to see her and looks down at the slumbering woman with all the love she has for her. "How long has she been sleeping?" Jane asks while noticing it's starting to darken outside.

She fell asleep a little after you woke up the first time. That was like four hours ago. They gave you some good drugs." Julia tells her.

She nods and keeps her eyes trained on Maura's sleeping form forgetting momentarily about the other woman in the room looking intently at the expression on Jane's face.

"I'm gonna head back to the hotel to rest okay?" She finally interrupts. "I left a key for Maura so she can stay there if she wants. But I have a feeling she won't want to stay with me let alone leave you." Julia adds while walking towards the door. Jane is about to question her when she continues. "And tell her that I'm dating Frankie, because I think she thinks I've got my eye on you. I'm gonna call the nurse in and tell her you're awake."

Jane laughs quietly while Julia leaves, imagining a jealous Maura. She takes her free hand and pushes it through Maura's honey blonde hair removing strands of it from her face and admiring the exhausted woman's beautiful features.

Moments later the nurse comes in to check on her vitals and IV. "Hello Ms. Rizzoli. How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good for someone who just had her heart dug around in by some doctor. Do you know when these will be coming out?" She asks, indicating the tubes protruding from her chest.

"Unfortunately those are going to be in for however long you're in the ICU to help drain the fluid in your chest. It may cause some pain and discomfort but the less you bother them the easier it will be for you to heal. How is the pain?" She asks.

"It's tolerable but if you could give me some pain meds, I wouldn't deny them." Jane replies smirking.

"Well I'll show you a neat trick." The nurse answers pulling a small device from next to Jane. "Whenever you feel too much pain, just give this little button a push and you'll forget where you are." The nurse jokes earning a smile from the brunette. "I can get your girlfriend over there a cot if you'd like?"'

Jane smiles at the term of affection even though she has no idea where her relationship with Maura stands at the moment. "I'm going to send her to the hotel when she wakes up. She didn't get much sleep last night."

The nurse just smiles knowingly. "I'll bring her the cot in a little bit. I'll be checking your vitals throughout the night but you're looking in pretty great shape. You may be out of here late tomorrow night and on your way to the cardiac ward."

Jane smile appreciatively at the nurse before she leaves her to turn her attention back to Maura. She returns to gently running her fingers through Maura's hair hoping that she's here to fix their relationship. Eventually Maura starts to stir and it's like everything within Jane falls into limbo. She can't tell if she wants Maura to wake just yet. She's worried if Maura has come as a friend or as a girlfriend. Eventually her thoughts are broken by a voice she can't bear to be without.

"Hi." Maura whispers weakly as if she doesn't know what to say after she lifts her head and notices Jane's awake.

"Hi." Jane mimics with a small smile attached to her face.

"How are you feeling?" She asks hesitantly.

"Well you see, I've got this button." Jane jokes characteristically while holding up her morphine button. "And any time I feel a little pain I just press it."

Maura smiles at Jane's joke and it breaks away the tension filling the room leaving them open to talking about what needs to be addressed. Maura doesn't know where to begin so Jane breaks the silence with the first words that pop into her head.

"I missed you. I'm glad you came." And they're the absolute truth.

Maura looks down sadly and it's obvious the guilt she feels for not being there. Jane knows what's coming and before she can stop it the words come tumbling out of Maura's mouth.

"I'm sorry." She starts.

"Don't apologize." Jane says resolutely before anything further can be said. It's not because she doesn't want to hear it. It's because Maura has nothing to be sorry about. Jane realizes and is a bit upset that Maura abandoned her a day before her surgery. But she knows she hurt Maura and so she places the blame more towards herself.

"I shouldn't have made you come with Julia. I should have been here." Maura replies guiltily.

"She took pretty good care of me." Jane says hoping to ease Maura's guilt. But then she notices Maura's teeth clench and she remembers what Julia had told her while she left. "She's no substitute for you though. I really missed you." She repeats. "She wouldn't shut up about how great a boyfriend Frankie was and all I could think about was you."

"I missed you before your surgery." Maura responds regretfully.

Jane just shakes her head. She knows Maura isn't going to forgive herself so easily but she wants to get it through Maura's head that she shouldn't be sorry. "You're here now. That's what matters to me." Jane presses but she can see Maura's still not happy with herself.

"I read your letter." Maura answers changing the subject.

"You did?" Jane asks as if she's surprised, she didn't even think about that being why Maura was here.

"It took me a little while and some nudging from Angela but I read it." She says softly.

Jane doesn't know what to think. All she knows is she has to make Maura sure that she meant every word. "Maura, I'm so sorry about the way I've acted. I never thought about the consequences. You were absolutely right. But I meant everything I said in that letter, Maura. I'll never willingly put my life in danger like that again. Please just give me a chance to prove that to you. And if I have to, I'll leave BPD." She begs.

"I'm not going to make you choose between your job and me." Maura states firmly.

And it's the words Jane feared would come. That Maura isn't here to get back together but instead just to be the good best friend she always was and Jane can't take it. She looks away and tries to will the tears not to fall. But they form and cascade down her cheeks at the finality of Maura's words. Everything seems to crash down and she can't stop the bitter words that exit her mouth moments next. "You came all the way here to tell me that?" She asks with as much spite as she can manage.

Maura just sighs. "Jane, look at me." She demands and it takes a few seconds before the hardheaded detective relents and turns her head back to her. Maura frowns at the tears falling down the detectives face before reaching a hand over to wipe them. At first Jane pulls away but Maura's persistence gets the better of her and the tingles she feels at Maura's touch involuntarily causes her to lean into it. And when Maura runs a gentle thumb over her cheek and brings her lips down on hers she can't help the relieved sob that leaves her throat.

Maura kisses her softly with everything she can to convey not only how sorry she is but how much she loves her. She runs a hand through Jane's hair as they break and leans her forehead against hers. "I'm not going to make you choose, so long as you promise me you'll be more careful. I love you Jane Rizzoli and I can't be without you. So you have to promise me you'll come home to me every night."

Jane no longer holds back the tears as they turn into ones of gratitude as she hears the words Maura uses. The words "_come home to me every night"_ repeat through her head as she wipes her tears. "Maura I promise. I'll always wear a vest, I will definitely never shoot myself again and I will avoid the backs of vans." She jokes earning a chuckle from the blonde. "Just please don't leave me again."

Maura captures Jane's lips again, this time more heated and passionately while she mumbles "never again" in between kisses. She wipes the remaining tears from Jane's cheeks and plants a final kiss on her forehead. "I missed you so much too." She finally admits.

Jane closes her eyes and revels in what it's like to be close to Maura again. What it's like to kiss her after fearing she'd never be able to do so again. She nuzzles her nose against Maura's and whispers "I love you" to her.

"I love you too." Maura answers and pecks her lips. "You taste like hospital." She jokes after a beat.

"Gee, I wonder why?" Jane asks sarcastically garnering Maura's signature grin from the blonde. "You drove all the way here." She states changing the subject. It's something that means more to her than Maura may ever understand. That she drove ten hours nonstop to be with her before her surgery.

"I did." Maura solidifies as fact. "In my Prius. I really tried to make it here before your surgery but I left too late and I guess you were always right about me being a slow driver. I shouldn't have waited to see if I could get a flight. I should have left right after I read your letter. I'm sorry." She apologizes once again.

"Stop apologizing." Jane says again while running a weak hand through Maura's hair. "I'm just glad you're here."

"How are you though? All jokes aside, Jane. You just had heart surgery, you can't just be fine." She asks worriedly.

"I feel pretty good, Maura. A little bit of pain, but it's masked pretty well under the morphine. And you're here so that really makes it all better."

Maura smiles and pecks her lips appreciatively. "That's good. Minimally invasive surgery is supposed to have less pain. And average recovery time is two weeks." Maura mumbles out through a yawn. Jane realizes just how tired she is.

"You drove all night and didn't get much sleep. How about you go to the hotel and get some sleep. Julia left a key for you."

"I don't want to leave you." Maura wines and Jane would find it incredibly cute if she wasn't sure it stemmed from Maura's guilt. But now she cares more about Maura being comfortable and well rested after her drive.

"We'll talk more tomorrow. Maura, the morphine is going to make me sleep. You can go sleep in a bed, I'll be okay." She presses.

"I'll stay here with you and sleep."

"Babe, I love you and I'm really happy you're here but there is no reason for you to stay here tonight. You drove all night and you need sleep. I can't even really move more than my head and arms because of these tubes. Really I won't mind if you go sleep at the hotel."

"I'm not leaving." Maura says with finality as she pulls her chair closer to Jane's bed and lays her head back down on the bed.

Jane shakes her head and takes Maura's hand in hers. She knows Maura's the only person she ever gives in to. But Maura has always had this hold over her and she can make her bend with just one look. It's why she'd easily be Jane's downfall. "The nurse said she'll get you a cot." She tries one final time hoping to get Maura to at least lay down on something.

"I'm staying right here." Maura says resolutely.

"Your back is going to hurt in the morning." She warns.

"I don't care as long as I'm next to you." Maura admits.

"I can put the cot next to her bed." The nurse interrupts while arriving back into the room.

Maura attempts to decline but Jane says "that will be great, thank you" and she finally decides to relent since the nurse has already brought the cot.

Maura takes her place on the cot and lays down after giving Jane one final kiss. She sighs as she settles in. "I can't wait to sleep with you again."

Jane raises an eyebrow suggestively at the blonde receiving an eye roll in return.

"You know what I mean Jane. Get your mind out of the sewer." Maura replies.

"It's gutter, Maur. And you're the one who said it." Jane laughs.

"Yeah well you're out of commission in that department for the next couple of weeks." Maura scolds her.

"We'll see about that." Jane challenges.

Maura decides not to dignify it with an answer and instead says "goodnight" to Jane.

Jane returns the words before drifting off back to sleep with the sense that for the first time in a while, everything will be alright.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: So I wrote furiously and procrastinated a bit with school work to get this out early and I'll hopefully have another one out by Wednesday as a thank you for being the most amazing readers ever. You guys are so great and I just really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Every time I'm not too confident about a chapter you guys always prove me wrong so thank you so much for that. I'm truly, truly thankful for you guys.**

**This chapter has some finality to the ending that may make it seem like it's a final chapter but I promise you it's not and that there is more to come so don't worry about that.**

**Enjoy and review if you please.**

* * *

Something Jane has severely missed was Maura's gentle voice in her ear waking her up from her sleep. She had only spent one night without Maura and now every simple thing she did was like a gift to be able to experience again.

"You're so cute when you sleep." Maura whispers against her ear before kissing her cheek.

"I'm not cute, Maur." Jane groans keeping her eyes closed.

"Honey, wake up. Your food is going to get cold." Tells her now that Jane has exhibited signs of life.

"It's hospital food. I doubt it's very warm to begin with." Jane argues.

"All the more reason to wake up and eat it now." She counters. When Jane still doesn't make an attempt to open her eyes, Maura knows it's time for a new tactic. "If you don't need breakfast then I guess you don't need a good morning kiss either."

Jane opens her eyes immediately and scowls at the blonde. "Maura, are you playing dirty?" She gasps.

Maura just smirks at her and pushes the subpar meal towards the brunette.

Jane groans in response while eying the food suspiciously. Eventually she takes a bite and just rolls her eyes. "Will hospitals ever get better food?"

"I think they're trying to deter people from coming back." Maura states raising an eyebrow challengingly at her.

"Touché" Jane responds not missing the understatement in Maura's words. She takes Maura's hand and gives it a gentle kiss. "I'd much rather eat your food."

Maura smiles at her and rewards her with a quick kiss.

Jane frowns wanting more.

"Eat first." Maura scolds. "I ordered the rest of your meals for the day since I know what you like."

She loves how well Maura knows her and trusts that she ordered everything she would have chosen had she had to. "Thank you."

"The nurse said you're looking really good. You'll probably be moved out of ICU tonight."

"That's great." Jane says enthusiastically. "Does that mean you'll stay at the hotel please?"

"Jane I-"

"Maura, please get some rest." Jane pleads hoping she can get her to relent.

Maura chews her lip a little bit before nodding hesitantly. "Okay."

"Thank you." Jane relieves as she pulls Maura to her so she can kiss her. She eats her food while Maura sits and watches her like she's a child waiting for an opportunity to slip it under the table to the family dog.

The rest of the day in the ICU was a bore. The nurses came in often to check on her vitals.

Julia came by around lunch time. At first Maura acted somewhat like a guard dog when it came to Jane. But when she watched how Jane and Julia interacted she began to realize maybe she didn't have much to worry about. And when Julia informed Jane she'd be heading back to Boston around six since Maura was with here now, she was sure Julia was just being a good friend. It also was a big help to hear Julia talk about how Frankie had been calling nonstop to see how she was doing and saying how much he missed her.

Jane received calls from Korsak and her mother wishing her well and making sure her surgery went well. Angela being her nosey self asked how things with Maura were. Jane just told her she wouldn't have to go back to hunting for someone for Jane to marry. Of course that just caused her to receive an earful about treating Maura right and not doing anything stupid to jeopardize her relationship again.

Frankie called to tell her to get well soon but then changed the conversation to Julia as soon as he heard Jane was doing well.

Frost finally called her to tell her he was doing alright. He called them "hospital buddies" before telling her he'd need physical therapy for the next couple of weeks and that he'd be on desk duty till he was back in physical condition. He thanked Jane several times for her heroic actions and asked if she had gotten in trouble with Maura. Jane just settled for telling him a simple "we're fine" while smiling at her lover beside her.

Once the phone calls had died down and Julia had left to pack and catch her flight, it was just her and Maura again.

"I can't wait to get out of here." Jane groans for what seems like the millionth time to Maura, even though she knows that's impossible and a clear exaggeration.

"You'll be back home with me in no time." Maura promises.

Jane smiles at the blonde. "You still want me to come stay with you?"

"Of course I do."

"I'm so glad you're here." Jane croaks with tears brimming her eyes.

"Are you crying?" Maura asks surprised. "I'm sorry. Don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry." She panics.

Jane shakes her head and wipes her tears before grabbing Maura's hand. "Don't be sorry, Maura. I love you. Thank you so much for forgiving me."

Maura kisses her softly before pulling back with a smile. "I brought you something."

"You did?"

"Mmhm." She responds pulling a box from a bag of things she must have brought up while Jane slept.

Once she places it on Jane's lap, the brunette smiles after realizing what it is.

"We've never got to play and since we have all this time and you said you taught Tommy…" Maura trails off.

"I love it, Maura." Jane says while pulling the chess pieces from the box and setting it up. "I get black."

Maura chuckles at the brunette. "White goes first though. Most people believe the first move gives them an advantage."

Jane just smirks. "Your move, babe."

* * *

It's nightfall and they're on their third round before the same nurse from the previous night comes in preparing to take Jane to have her tubes removed and transferred to the cardiac ward.

"Can you give us a few minutes to finish this game?" Jane asks while Maura continues to stare at the board in hopes of some redeeming move.

The nurse just nods and watches the game play out.

Maura finally decides to make a move hoping to utilize her queen to protect her king.

Jane just smirks knowing she's won this game. Two moves later she has Maura's king. "Check mate."

Maura groans at a third straight loss. "How are you so good?"

"You almost had me on the second game, Maur. Tommy was right, you're the toughest opponent I've faced." She praises.

"I beat Tommy. You're so much better." Maura wines.

"He learned from the master, but he never became the master." Jane chuckles.

"She plays her strengths." The nurse pipes in.

"You play?" Jane asks.

"I used to. Not so much anymore. But I've seen your tactics before." She laughs.

"Oh really?" Jane challenges. "So what are my strengths?"

"You let your girl go first didn't you?"

"She did." Maura gasps. "Why didn't you fight me for white?"

"Most people think it gives them an advantage. And sometimes it does I guess maybe it's all mental. But Jane here plays the defense well. You play off her moves first, let her think she's doing well and slowly push her towards the defensive so she scrambles to protect her king and then you wait for her to make a mistake." The nurse explains.

"You're mean, Jane." Maura pouts.

"What? Maura, that's how you play chess." She says defensively.

The nurse just chuckles at the interaction. "Come on. We've gotta get you ready to change rooms." She says wheeling Jane out of the room. "She's being moved to room 151 in the cardiac ward if you'd like to go wait in there."

Maura nods and collects their things.

"Little bit of advice, let her win next time." The nurse whispers to Jane.

Jane laughs. "I think if she found out I did that she'd probably be angrier then if I kept winning."

"You're cunning, I'm sure. Don't let her find out." She argues.

"You make it sound a lot easier than it is. Maura is way smarter than me." Jane admits.

* * *

The rest of her days in the hospital were spent similarly. After she had her tubes removed, she could move around more and was less irritable. Her new room was more comfortable but it might have been because she no longer had anything protruding from her chest.

Her mother called often to check on her and Maura and tell her how things were going at home. It wasn't like anything would have changed within the few days they were gone but she just let her talk.

Most of the time she played chess with Maura. By her second day in the cardiac ward Maura had been able to beat her twice without Jane having to fake a loss.

The nurses had started to encourage her to walk around. Maura accompanied her and it felt great to be able to move again.

She was also allowed to eat non-hospital food and with enough begging, Maura brought her outside food though it was of course some weird healthy food Maura had managed to find at a local vegetarian deli.

Maura had been staying at the hotel like she had promised except for one night when she fell asleep in Jane's bed with her and the nurse had decided not to wake her even though policy stated one patient per bed.

By the third day Maura had woken her with coffee only to be rewarded with the best thank you kiss she'd ever received from the desperate brunette. That day her doctor came by with promising news.

"You're healing nicely." Dr. Green informs her while running through her charts.

"Yeah?" Jane asks hopefully.

"How has the pain been? Has there been much recently?" He questions routinely.

"Not really. I feel pretty good." She answers truthfully.

"Good. The nurses have had you walking around. Have you had any problems with that?"

"No." She answers hoping he will be sending her home soon.

"Okay. So you're looking good for discharge tomorrow. We'll take your stitches out and then you'll be ready to go home." He tells her.

She can't help the smile that adorns her face while she looks at Maura enthusiastically.

"Now you're gonna want to keep trying to get some activity in and slowly build yourself up until you're back in routine. Don't do anything too strenuous for at least two weeks." He warns her while she tries to ignore the raised eyebrow Maura is wearing as if to warn her she will be listening to the doctor.

"You can work up to jogging and you may experience some shortness of breath at first but eventually you'll be good as new. Once you leave here it's up to you to decide how fast you'll heal." He informs her before heading out.

"I get to go home tomorrow." She says to Maura as soon as her doctor leaves.

"I heard." Maura responds smiling at the excited detective.

"I can't wait to get out of here." Jane growls.

"Me either." Maura agrees. "So I was wondering if you want to drive back with me?"

"Maura, what kind of question is that? Of course I'm not letting you go back alone."

"I just wanted to be sure." Maura shrugs.

"Muar." Jane wines lovingly.

"Yes?"

"I just can't wait to go home with you." Jane admits happily earning a grateful smile and a kiss from the blonde.

* * *

The drive back took longer than usual because Maura drove despite how many times Jane asked to drive. Her excuse was that she'd rather arrive later than usual and be safe than risk anything going wrong. Jane eventually stopped asking and played around with the radio after hiding any classical music Maura had. They talked and made some compromises in their relationship.

Jane promised to be careful and step back a little bit without performing her duties any less. If she was going to perform any sting operations she was to warn Maura first and always wear a vest.

Maura promised to talk things out with Jane. If she ever felt that Jane was being unsafe or worried too much about her, Jane wanted her to voice her concerns.

As heartbreaking as the events of the past week had been, they both agreed it had made them and their relationship stronger. They learned to communicate better. Jane couldn't help but realize just how much she loved Maura and how shitty her life would be without her.

When they arrived back in Boston late Monday night it wasn't a surprise that Angela had rounded up everyone for a welcome home party. Frost, Frankie, Julia, and Korsak had all come over for dinner that Angela had prepared and a cake baked by Julia.

After everyone had asked Jane how she was feeling and she finally got them to believe her when she told them she was feeling great, they sat around and had a nice family dinner.

Jane just looked around at her family and truly couldn't be happier with what she saw. Frankie and Julia were obviously happy. Angela enjoyed being around her family, one of the greatest things she cultivated by being an amazing mother and woman. Frost and Korsak were tossing jokes at each other like always. And Maura fit in with it all. Jane turned to the smiling blonde and after a moment of admiration, kissed her on the cheek while taking her hand under the table. She hoped it would always be like this. One thing she learned from Maura was how not to take family for granted and now all she could hope for was expanding her family with the woman she loved.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I wanted this out by Wednesday but it ended up being longer than I thought it would and I had to finish up my classes but alas it has finally been written. Not much to say on this one.**

**So enjoy and review if you please.**

* * *

She feels a gentle kiss against her lips and reacts by pulling the offender on top of herself. Jane had never been one for cuddling but with Maura she couldn't stand to not be connected to her in some way when they lay down. And if anyone before her had awoken her with gentle caresses and kisses she'd always get annoyed. But when Maura would do it, she'd feel like the happiest person in the world. Waking up and immediately remembering she was dating the most amazing, beautiful, positive, loving woman she had ever met started her day off in the best of ways.

It had been over a week of going to sleep and waking up with the woman she loved after returning from Cleveland. When she had to work, Maura would wake her with a kiss and tell her she was heading out. And today was no different as Jane reacted by pulling the blonde towards her and begging her to stay with her.

"It's Friday. Stay home and we'll cuddle on the couch and watch some TV and I'll cook you something for lunch and we'll just forget about everything except each other." Jane begs.

"Sounds so enticing but I have to go in, Jane. We've got a case." Maura argues planting a kiss on Jane's cheek as an apology. "When I come home we'll go for a long walk and then cuddle up on the couch for that show you like, okay?"

"We can jog if you want. And you like it too admit it." Jane pesters.

"I'll never admit it just like you won't admit you actually like those history documentaries I watch." Maura counters.

"Because admitting it would be a lie, Maura. TV is meant to rot the brain not for learning. Besides, Game of Thrones is kind of historical if you look at it."

"Mhm it does have similarities to medieval times however dragons are not real." Maura states factually.

"Really?" Jane fakes disappointment. "I was truly hoping to buy one."

"Funny." Maura says playfully. "Are you sure you're up for running though. It won't be too much?" She asks turning back to serious matters.

"I feel really good." Jane tells her truthfully.

"You're not just saying that to get me to hop into bed with you are you?" Maura questions suspiciously.

Jane chuckles. "Babe, if I thought that would work I would have tried it days ago. The doctor said how fast I heal depends on me. I'm ready to start doing more physically demanding stuff."

"Okay. We'll jog but if you feel sick or short of-"

"Maura, I'll be fine and you'll be with me. Don't worry so much." Jane interrupts her and kisses her reassuringly on the lips earning an appreciative hum from the blonde. "You sure you don't wanna stay?" She asks to be sure after Maura melts into the kiss.

Maura settles more into Jane and wines. "I really want to but I can't."

"Then I suggest you go now because in a few seconds I'll make it so you can't."

"Is that a threat, Detective Rizzoli?" Maura jokes.

"Nope. It's a promise Doctor Isles." She counters seriously.

Maura laughs and kisses Jane one last time before getting up. "I'll see you later."

"I've got nowhere else to be. I love you." Jane says to her exiting lover.

"Love you too." Maura calls back as she heads out of the door leaving Jane to sigh contently in the quiet room.

It's routine like always. One thing about Maura and Jane was that no matter where their relationship stood it always formed into routine. And with an unpredictable job like theirs, they both learned to appreciate predictability.

When they first met they'd spend their lunches together sharing Jane's tuna and crackers. Then they would spend their nights together at the Robber. Then they started exercising together. And eventually they had morning routines where Jane would come over every morning for coffee and breakfast if she hadn't already spent the night.

Most people would call it boring to be so predictable but anyone who watched the two of them could tell how well they worked together. It's why they're so good at their jobs. They work better together, like a well oiled machine whether it was work, working out and even tasks like cooking.

When Jane would cook with her mother, often times they'd get in each others' way and frustrate the hell out of one another until one of them, usually Jane, would give up and leave. That's why she stopped trying to learn to cook from her years ago. But even Angela learned to admire the two of them in the kitchen over the past week. They moved smoothly around each other never getting in each others' way and always knowing what the other needed. It seemed sometimes like a well practiced dance which is why Angela found it interesting to watch. She could tell how much her daughter loved Maura and vice versa and how obvious it was that they belong together. And just like cooking, many of their routines seemed practiced but they just flowed like that, together and majestic.

Over the time that Jane had been living with Maura, quite a few routines had been formed. When Maura returned they'd usually walk so Jane could get some physical activity in as part of her healing. Maura wasn't a liar when she told Jane she'd help her. They would walk a little more each day and turn around whenever Maura felt it was too much. She knew when to push Jane to continue and when to make her stop and Jane would have fought her if she didn't trust her. And it had worked, because now she was feeling almost back to normal.

Some days, when she was feeling really good she'd surprise Maura with dinner, and today was one of those days.

It's around 6 when she hears the door open and close and the familiar click of heels growing louder as Maura makes her way into the kitchen. She feels an arm wrap around her and pressure on her right shoulder which she can only assume is Maura's head.

"What are you making?" Maura mumbles against her shoulder.

"Just a quick stir fry. Rough day?" Jane asks continuing to stir the food in the pan to keep it from burning.

Maura just hums and tightens her hold on the brunette. "The days seem longer without you."

Jane takes the pan off the stove and turns around in her lover's arms and kisses her soundly.

"One more week and I'm off suspension." She promises. "How was the case today?" She asks turning back to the food to plate it for the two of them.

"Really good actually." Maura replies happily. "It was one of those quick ones you know. There was evidence on the body of an ex-convict. Her boyfriend killed her because she cheated on him."

"See, you don't need me."

"Yeah but I want you." Maura rebuts earning a playful smirk from the detective. "Must your mind always go towards the gutter?"

"It does when you make it so easy." Jane jokes. "Come on. Let's go eat this on the couch."

Maura grabs her plate and follows the detective to the couch where they settle down next to each other.

"Really though, Korsak can't do it all alone." Maura continues before taking a bite of the food. "Mmm Jane this is really good."

Jane just chuckles and eats her own. "Every time I cook something for you, you react like you thought it would be gross. I might start getting offended."

"Sorry." Maura laughs lightly. "It's just I never expect it to be this good. That doesn't make it sound any better does it?"

"I get it." Jane says letting her off the hook and continuing to eat her meal with her. "Why hasn't Cavanaugh brought in a sub like he told me he would?" She asks after a while.

"I think he's working on hiring someone full time." Maura answers.

"Why is he dragging his feet though?"

"I think he wants to hire Frankie, but you guys are siblings so there is certain protocol."

"He's going to hire Frankie?" Jane asks excitedly. "Wait, protocol, what protocol? How you know about this?"

"I may have overheard Cavanaugh speaking with the chief." Maura admits guiltily.

"You were eavesdropping?" Jane gasps playfully.

"No I just…heard a few things in passing. And shut up, you will be glad that I heard them."

"Okay so what did you hear?" Jane questions.

"Okay well first off, Cavanaugh is retiring." Maura begins.

"What? Why?" Jane quizzes.

"He didn't say but it does mean that they'll be looking to hire someone new."

"Korsak has it in the bag this time." Jane tells her while taking her plate and walking it off towards the kitchen.

"Nope." Maura answers tersely following Jane into the kitchen.

After placing their dishes in the sink she turns sharply on the doctor. "What do you mean, 'nope'?" She demands.

"Jane, I think they're talking about hiring you. That's why he was waiting on hiring Frankie. Cavanaugh wanted to make sure it wouldn't harm your chances at making lieutenant."

"But I'm on suspension right now. I don't have as clean a record as…" Jane wanders off sadly. "What about Korsak?"

"I don't think he'll be too mad if you make it over him. He's retiring in a few months anyways." Maura explains. Jane takes a moment to think about it and Maura watches as her sad expression morphs into excitement.

"Maura, I'm gonna be lieutenant!" Jane shouts while walking hurriedly to the blonde and engulfing her in an excited hug. "I just took that exam to see how I'd do. Maura, I'm going to be the lieutenant of Boston Homicide at 34 years old!"

Maura laughs happily and kisses Jane softly. "Don't get too excited yet, okay? It's just speculation based on some things I overheard."

"Okay. But still it is pretty exciting just to think I may make lieutenant." Jane admits pulling Maura into another hug. "And Frankie. He's going to make detective."

"Yes." Maura laughs.

"Thanks for eavesdropping. This is the best news." Jane exclaims while pecking the blonde over and over.

"I wasn't eavesdropping." Maura denies while folding her arms.

"Right. 'you heard a few things in passing'." Jane teases.

Maura just shakes her head and heads off towards the bedroom.

"Wait, babe I was kidding." Jane apologizes, racing after her.

When Jane catches up to her in the bedroom she turns and Jane can see the clearly malicious smirk on her lips. "I know. I'm just changing so we could go for our jog. Scared you didn't I?"

Jane grabs the blonde and pushes her onto the bed before crawling on top of her. "You think that's funny?"

"Well if you can tease me than I can tease-"

Jane cuts her off with a sound kiss pulling a surprised moan from the blonde. After a few seconds she deepens it and pushes her hips against Maura's.

Maura gasps and pulls away. "Jane, your heart." She scolds.

Jane just groans in frustration.

"Come on. We've got to go for that run." Maura says while tapping her shoulder to get up.

"How about we do this instead?" She tries.

"Nope. Come on." She says again slipping out from beneath the detective.

Jane growls defeated and grabs some running clothes.

Maura walks over to her and kisses her sweetly as an apology. "When you're all better I am going to make it all worth it."

"Maura! You can't say things like that to me." She whines.

Maura just laughs out a sorry before heading into the bathroom to change.

When they get back from they're jog they shower and cuddle up in bed. Maura lays her head on Jane's shoulder and places an arm around her waist as always.

"My mom called me today." Maura says breaking the silence.

"She did?"

"Yeah. She is going to be staying at the vacation house on the cape. I want to go visit."

"Your family owns a house on the cape?" Jane asks.

"We own houses all over to be honest." Maura answers. "I've told you before that they own houses all over Europe."

"Wow. Okay, when are you going?"

"Well I was wondering if you'd like to come with me tomorrow and we could spend the weekend there." Maura asks nervously.

"That's really short notice. Why are you asking so late?" Jane questions.

"I want to introduce you to my mom." Maura tells her.

"Maur, I know your mom."

"I want to introduce you as my girlfriend." She mumbles.

Jane plants a kiss to her head and says a simple "okay."

"Okay?" Maura asks as if she's surprised.

"Yeah, okay." Jane shrugs.

"You're not nervous to tell my mom?"

"Why would I be?" Jane questions.

"I mean after how she was with Julia I just thought-"

"If she doesn't like us dating would it change how we feel about each other?" Jane interrupts.

"No." Maura answers immediately.

"I love you and you love me. I know your mom's support is ideal but if she isn't okay with it I'll still love you and hopefully you'll still want to be with me." Jane says simply.

"I will." Maura assures her.

Jane lifts her head and smiles before kissing her gently. "So there isn't a problem and we get to spend a gorgeous weekend on the cape."

"Hmm, Okay." Maura hums happily against her lips.

"Besides I'm sure your mom won't have a problem with it."

"How so?" Maura asks, settling back into the detectives arms.

"Call it intuition." Jane states remembering what her mom said to her when she told her they were together.

"Well I really hope your gut is correct this time. Let's get some sleep and we'll leave late morning okay?"

"Okay." Jane yawns.

* * *

The drive to Cape Cod was short but maybe that's because Jane convinced Maura to let her drive. She followed Maura's instructions on how to get to the house and when they pull up Jane's jaw fell to the floor.

"Maura, this is a vacation home?" Jane asks stunned.

"Yeah. It's our smallest one." She says nonchalantly.

"Just how rich is your family?"

"They're significantly well off."

"Right, this is more than well off. Shall we head inside the manor?" Jane jests while getting out of the car and opening Maura's.

"Ha you are funny. Does my family's wealth intimidate you now?" Maura questions.

"Not at all. I bagged a wealthy doctor. I'll just marry you and be loaded." Jane teases earning a pout from the blonde.

"Aww, I'm kidding babe." Jane amends kissing Maura's pout away.

"You better be, because it's my parent's money, I've rejected it." She admits.

"You did?"

"I had a trust fund but I got a degree instead and made my own money."

She stares a moment as the woman before her and admires just how wonderful she truly is. "Maura Isles you are the most amazing woman I've ever met. Do you know that?" Jane asks sincerely earning a modest blush from the woman.

"Come on. Mom's not here yet, I'll show you around."

"You think we have the time? Do we need a map?" Jane jokes earning a laugh from Maura.

After touring the house and putting their things in the bedroom, Jane collapses on the bed.

"Will this count as my exercise for the day, because I'm kind of tired."

Maura laughs and lies down next to Jane placing her head on her stomach. "I figured we'd take a walk down the beach." Maura mumbles while playing with the hem of Jane's shirt.

"We can do that. But it's getting kind of chilly. It's almost winter." Jane says running a hand through Maura's hair.

"We'll bundle up and huddle together and when we come back we can light the fireplace."

"I'll make hot chocolate." Jane adds.

"Sounds like a plan." Maura finalizes kissing Jane's stomach before pulling herself up.

"Maura." They hear from downstairs.

"Perfect timing." Maura remarks while pulling Jane to her feet.

"Hi, mother." Maura says while walking into the foyer to meet Constance.

"Hello darling." She responds kissing her daughter's cheek. "Hi, Jane." She greets happily noticing the detective joining her daughter.

"Hello, Constance." Jane says receiving a kiss on the cheek from the woman and a confused stare from Maura. Jane just shrugs at the blonde.

"How are you two doing?" Constance asks while walking off towards the kitchen followed by the two women.

"We're doing well." Maura answers for the both of them.

"And you Jane? I heard you had surgery. Do tell me you're okay." Constance questions. Maura looks even more confused as to how she knows these things.

Jane just smiles realizing that Maura's mom may just be as nosey as her own and also that her mom and Constance have probably been talking more than Angela let on. "Yes. I had heart surgery but it went smoothly and I'm feeling almost 100% again."

"That's wonderful. How about we all go out to lunch and talk?" She asks.

"Sounds great." Jane answers while Maura just stands cluelessly behind her

"Excellent. I'm just going to take some stuff up to my room and change. I'll be right out. There is an amazing restaurant in town, my treat." She says while heading upstairs.

"What just happened?" Maura questions once Constance has left.

Jane walks over to her and places her arms around her neck and kisses her. "Don't worry so much. I have a feeling lunch is going to go smoothly." Jane assures her.

"But she didn't even ask why you were here." Maura states more to herself than to Jane. "And she was so nice to you."

"Hmm. Don't question it." Jane hums against Maura's lips before taking them in hers again.

"We shouldn't be doing this here in case she comes down." Maura mumbles not pulling away.

"Saves us the conversation of having to tell her."

"I think I'd rather her find out more formally." Maura argues before pulling back just in time as Constance reemerges.

"Ready?" She asks feigning obliviousness though Jane deduces her timing wasn't coincidence.

* * *

They're at lunch enjoying conversation. First they talked about Jane's surgery and Jane told her most of the details while leaving out the relationship tidbits of her and Maura. Then Constance began telling them about her trip to Paris where she was just giving an art lecture. She invited both of them along next time she had another event there fawning over the beautiful city and it's art. This of course earned more questioning looks from Maura as she made it clear she wanted both Maura and Jane there.

Jane finally removes her hand from Maura's under the table and gives her knee a gentle squeeze signaling that she should tell her mother. Lunch was almost over and Maura seemed to be avoiding the conversation.

Jane realized she was obviously worried that Constance would treat her the same way she did Julia. She now wished she had told Maura that more than likely Constance already knew about the two of them to sooth her nerves.

After another squeeze Maura finally clears her throat.

"Mother, I uh, wanted to talk to you about something." Maura stutters uncharacteristically.

Jane takes her hand again for support while Constance looks between the two of them and smiles at Jane and that's when she is absolutely sure the woman knows what's coming.

"Your daughter and I are dating and it would be great if we had your support." Jane says before Maura can continue. She feels Maura's hand tense in hers and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Constance smiles at the two of them. "Of course you have my support." She answers simply without much contemplation.

"We do?" Maura asks not expecting that from her especially without any sort of scrutiny.

"Yes. Jane is a lovely woman and I think she's perfect for you, dear." Constance replies before taking a nonchalant sip of her drink.

"But what about Julia?" Maura asks still confused by her mother's indifference.

"I told you she wasn't who I saw you with in the long run." She answers obviously.

"And Jane is?" Maura asks earning a nod from her mother. "You knew? How long did you know?"

Constance laughs lightly. "Since Angela told me you broke up with Julia. I had a hunch."

"I didn't break up with her she broke up with me." Maura amends. "Wait, Angela?"

"Angela and I have become good friends. Your mom is a wonderful person, Jane." She says turning back to the brunette.

"She is." Jane agrees.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew?" Maura asks still trying to ascertain everything that's going on.

"Maura, you're a grown up and you don't need me meddling in your love life. I knew you'd tell me when you were ready. You two have wonderful chemistry and the love you have for each other is obvious. I would be crazy not to notice it and even crazier not to approve of it."

"Thank you Constance, for accepting our relationship." Jane pipes in.

"I have a lot to thank you for myself, Jane." Constance replies. Before Maura can ask what she means, she stands up. "Let's head back. I have a lot of work to get done and Maura should really show you around. The beach is truly beautiful here."

When they arrive back at the house, Constance pulls Jane aside. "Give us a minute will you Maura?"

She gives Jane an apologetic look filled with panic but does as her mother asks after Jane gives her a nod telling her she'll be fine.

"I assume you want to give me the protective mother talk." Jane says once Maura has gone.

"A true detective." Constance smiles. "The first time I met you Jane, I could tell you were a different kind of woman, in the best ways of course. I remember our first conversation alone, you said to me 'I'm protective, Maura is my best friend and I don't like seeing my best friend hurt.' You helped me see my errors and allowed me to have a second chance with my daughter and for that I'm truly thankful."

"I didn't really do anything, I just wanted to make sure my best friend was happy." Jane simplifies.

"But that's what matters now more than ever. You are one of the best things to happen to my daughter. Your mother is a wonderful person and I feel no jealousy that she can be there when I cannot. You give my daughter a family and I just want her to be happy and someone to protect her, support her and love her while I'm thousands of miles away in another country. I trust you wish to protect Maura even more now that she is more than just your best friend. I believe she is in the best possible hands with you and you're the best person she could pick to settle down with. Which is why I ultimately support the two of you. However if you break my daughter's heart just remember the kind of people I know." She finishes with a wink.

"I would never willingly hurt your daughter. I do love her." Jane promises.

"I know, dear. Take good care of her." Constance urges one final time.

"I will." Jane smiles.

"Well the two of you might as well enjoy yourselves while you're here. I'm afraid I won't be good company since I only come here to get some work done. The views are inspiring. I suggest the two of you take a tour of the lighthouse." She suggests before heading inside.

* * *

It's dusk when Jane and Maura return from their tour and dinner at Maura's favorite restaurant at the urging of Constance that they go alone and enjoy each other. They head out bundled in warmer clothing to take their walk down the beach.

"Are you going to tell me what my mother said to you after lunch?" Maura asks for probably the 20th time that day.

Jane slips a hand into Maura's and pulls her closer as they walk. "It really is getting cold. It's going to be a frosty winter huh?" Jane asks diverting the conversation.

"Jane?" Maura wines.

She chuckles and stops walking. She pulls Maura towards her and kisses her pout away. "Okay, okay. Stop with the pouting."

"Tell me." Maura demands.

"She just wanted to make sure I take care of you and that if I do anything to hurt you she'd send the mob after me."

"She said that?" Maura gasps.

"In fewer words, yes." Jane laughs.

"But she said something at lunch about thanking you. What did she mean by that?" Maura questions.

Jane releases her hold and starts walking again, ignoring the question.

"Jane, what did she have to thank you for?" Maura asks a little more forcefully pulling the detective to a stop.

"Remember when we went to her installation and I asked you to get me a drink?" Jane begins.

"Yeah."

"I told your mother off while you were gone." Jane says simply.

"What?" Maura snaps.

"In a nice way! I just told her that she was hurting you."

"You did that? That's why she came to the Robber that night?" Maura wonders out loud.

"It was supposed to be a silent act of kindness. I just wanted your mom to know what she was doing wrong. She really does love you Maura she just didn't know what she was doing and so she came off as-"

Her words catch in her throat when Maura's lips are upon hers. She feels Maura's tongue prod her lip and allows access while moving her hands to wrap around Maura's waste and pull her flush against her. Maura deepens the kiss momentarily before it transforms from fiery and passionate to slow and languid. After a few more seconds Maura breaks the kiss and places three more quick ones on the detective's lips.

"I guess you're not mad." Jane says once she regains her composure.

"Why would I be? You stood up to my mother for me." Maura points out before kissing Jane again. "And helped better out relationship."

Jane just shrugs like it wasn't a big deal. "I saw she was upsetting you so I talked to her."

"Even then you did whatever you could to make sure I was happy."

"You're my best friend, Maura. I'd do anything to make you happy." Jane admits.

"I love you so much." Maura whispers taking her lips in hers again.

"I love you too." Jane answers while tightening her hold on the blonde. "Come on, I believe we have a fireplace and hot chocolate awaiting us at home." She declares after a few minutes of just holding each other.

* * *

Sunday was a lazy day. Maura prepared lunch for Jane and Constance and they all sat around talking. Maura enjoyed spending time with her mother and having her girlfriend get to know her more. Constance promised she'd be in town for the Christmas holidays and that she'd visit her daughter then but she couldn't make promises about Thanksgiving. It still excited the blonde that her mother would be visiting and being a part of festivities. Ever since she met Jane, family holidays were much more enjoyable and now the thought of her mother being a part of them made her even more excited about them. She just hoped eventually her father would become less busy to be able to join too.

They left during late afternoon to head back to Boston. Jane insisted on driving again especially when Maura yawns and eventually she won her way.

They're only on the road for twenty minutes before the blonde falls into a peaceful nap. Jane looks over at her with a soft smile on her face before being interrupted by the sound of her phone vibrating.

"Rizzoli." She answers quietly so as not to wake her sleeping girlfriend.

"Jane it's Korsak." She hears grumbled on the other line by the older detective. His voice sounds slightly distressed.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" She asks.

"Where have you and Maura been?"

"We were visiting her mother on the cape." Jane answers.

"Jane, is Maura with you right now?" He questions.

"She's sleeping. What is going on?" She demands.

"Paddy Doyle escaped today, Jane." He confesses.

"What?" She hisses.

"He escaped from prison." Korsak repeats.

"How the hell did he do that?"

"They think he had some inside help."

"Shit. They think we had something to do with it?" Jane worries.

"Possibly but you guys were out of town."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean the FBI isn't going to be all over everything." Jane tells him.

"Jane you gotta tell Maura. They may want to question her." Korsak warns her.

"No. She doesn't need to know. I'll keep them off her tail. We have an alibi."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea." He says warily. "You're really not going to tell her that her father escaped?"

"I don't know." She sighs noticing Maura stirring. "Look I've gotta go. Thanks for telling me." She says hastily before hanging up.

"Who was that?" Maura mumbles through a yawn.

"Uh, Korsak." She stutters.

"Is everything alright?" Maura asks worriedly.

"Uh, yeah." Jane says taking Maura's hand and kissing it. "Everything is fine."

"Are you sure?" Maura questions.

Jane contemplates telling her for a brief second before gulping out "yeah it's nothing. Everything is fine." She repeats out loud and in her head as a mantra.

And everything is fine until they pull into Maura's driveway only to be met with a familiar face waiting for them. And then Jane wishes she had warned Maura.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: It's so much easier to write when you have every thing planned out, so I've graced you with another pretty quick update. Should be packing to move back up to college but I kind of was excited to write this instead, soooo ya know I still haven't packed a single thing.**

**Anyways, enjoy and review if you please.**

**I'm a in a really good mood so reviews will just put it over the top ;)**

* * *

"Jane, why is Agent Dean in my driveway?" Maura asks as soon as she notices the man leaning on his car outside her house.

Jane's mouth suddenly goes dry as she thinks of what to do. There is no way she can get Maura to ignore the fact that he's sitting outside her house. It's suspicious and Maura isn't one to drop things. She finally decides she has to speak and tell her something.

"Maura, I know this looks bad, but I need you to listen to me and please do what I say. Please just ignore him and go straight inside. When I get rid of him, I will tell you everything." Jane says calmly and clearly hoping Maura will listen to her.

"What is going on?" She demands again.

"Please just do what I say alright?" She begs while searching Maura's eyes hoping to convey how sorry she is.

"Okay." Maura sighs, trusting her.

They get out of the car and it only takes a second for Agent Dean to move towards them.

"Don't say anything." Jane threatens him while ushering Maura towards the door.

"I'm just here to warn her that the FBI thinks she knows where Paddy is." He says defensively.

Jane eyes him angrily while Maura turns and looks at him questioningly. "What do you mean know where Paddy is?"

"Maura, just go inside." Jane pushes hoping to stop her questioning but Maura just looks at her pointedly until her stare turns angry as it all clicks.

"That's what Korsak was talking to you about on the phone. 'Everything is fine?' I can't believe you!" She shouts before running into the house and slamming the door.

"I told you not to say anything! You just had to fucking speak." Jane growls.

"It's not my fault you didn't tell her. I just came here to warn you." He defends.

"Don't! Stay out here, I've got shit to say to you." She yells before running inside after her girlfriend. "Maura." She shouts hoping she didn't lock herself away so she can't explain. She lets out a sigh of relief when she finds her in the kitchen.

"Were you going to tell me?" She hears from the woman who remains with her back turned to her.

"Of course I was." Jane insists.

"Really? So why didn't you tell me when I asked?" Maura demands while turning sharply to face her.

Jane notices the anger in her eyes but most of all she sees the hurt and she instantly regrets her decision. "I was going to tell you when I got the FBI off your back. I figured if they tried to question you, you'd obviously have no idea what they were talking about. I thought that ignorance would be bliss. I was trying to protect you."

"So I'd be blindsided if they came after me. I would have rather known, you don't have to protect me all the time." Maura says, her voice softening with each word.

"I know and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you had to find out from Dean. That was shitty of me. I should have just told you, but he's right, the FBI thinks you had something to do with it, Maura. You can't blame me for trying to protect you."

"Of course he's right!" Maura shouts, her anger reemerging.

It takes Jane a moment but she realizes that maybe not telling Maura isn't the only reason she's upset. "Are you still angry at him for what went down in that warehouse?" Jane asks while moving closer to Maura.

"No." She denies.

"Maura." She sighs, stepping fully in front of the woman and looking her in the eyes. And then she thinks she notices jealousy and she almost wants to laugh because she knows that if Maura Isles is a diamond, Gabriel Dean is coal, no, dirt next to her.

"Just go out there and enjoy talking to him." Maura frowns, avoiding Jane's eyes.

"You know what I'm going to do when I talk to him. I'm going to tell him off. Because he is nothing but a spineless, idiot, in much nicer terms than what I truly want to say." She pauses for a moment and takes Maura's cheek in her hand and forces her to look her in the eye. "If you're worried about Agent Dean then I obviously haven't made it clear how much I love you and how much I want to be with you. I dated him to try and quell how I felt about you. But it just made it worse. And now that I've been with you, Maura, I'm ruined for anyone else. You've ruined me, so you're stuck with me." She promises while trying to show her sincerity through her eyes.

"I'm still angry at you for not telling me about Paddy." Maura mumbles.

Jane smiles a relieved smile because that's better than Maura thinking she'd ever want Dean. She leans in and places a soft kiss on Maura's cheek, holding it there significantly longer than she should. "I love you." She whispers placing another kiss to seal it before pulling away.

When she steps outside Dean is still waiting, of course, and it kind of makes Jane angry out how obedient he is.

"What are you really doing here?" She demands as soon as she shuts the door.

"I told you I came here to warn you that the FBI thinks Maura has something to do with Paddy's escape." He responds casually.

"Bullshit! You did not come here from Washington and put your job on the line to do something that could have been done over a phone."

When he doesn't answer, her anger becomes ever stronger. "You know what I think you're doing here? I think the FBI asked you to come here so you could get information out of Maura and I, just like you did the last time when it came to Paddy Doyle. Well this time you're not using me."

"I'm not using you, Jane. I was trying to protect you and your team then and I'm trying to warn you now." He insists.

"That's a lie and you know it." She growls. "Always playing the good guy. You know every time you show up you screw me over. And last time you almost ruined my relationship with my best friend."

"I'm not the one who shot Doyle." He counters.

"No, but you're the one who came in with guns blazing. Doyle wouldn't have shot anyone else if the feds weren't there. But you had to take what I told you in confidence and tell the FBI." She argues.

"So it's all my fault? None of it is the mobster's fault who came in and shot a firefighter." He fights back.

"He was protecting his daughter from that firefighter who pulled a gun on her." She shouts.

"Of course, because it's okay to shoot people as long as they're protecting their daughter. And let me still remind you, you are the one who shot Paddy. I got shot by him."

"Just tell me why the fuck you're here." She demands.

"I told you why I was here."

"No you lied to me about why you are here. If you think I'm going to give you any information on Paddy you're wrong. I don't know where he is. I didn't even know he escaped until an hour ago. Maura didn't know until you told her and we were both in Cape Cod with her mother all weekend." She informs him.

"I think it's convenient you both were out of town the weekend Doyle escapes. Why would you go spend time with Maura's mother for the weekend?" He asks challengingly.

Jane just smirks realizing he doesn't even know they're dating. She'd tell him it's none of his business if she didn't think the outcome of telling him the truth would be much more enjoyable. Besides, she loved Maura and she was proud to tell anyone that. "Because that's what couples do. They meet each other's parents and spend time with them."

When his mouth falls open momentarily at the news she just raises an eyebrow at him. "Now if you'll kindly step off my girlfriend's doorstep and tell your friends with the FBI to back off that'd be great."

He continues to stand there having no idea how to react and Jane honestly hates herself for ever dating him let alone sleeping with someone so pathetic. "If you don't leave I will call the police for trespassing."

"I'll just be back with a warrant." He tells her, hostility apparent in his face.

"You wouldn't get a warrant. We have a solid alibi. Honestly, do you think if we helped Paddy escape he'd be hiding in Maura's guesthouse or something? He's probably long gone right now. You're wasting your time here. And if you so much as come within 50 feet of Maura I swear I will castrate you." She threatens.

"Always the Doberman when it comes to her, aren't you Jane?" He asks mockingly.

What he thinks will make Jane even angrier does the exact opposite. Because she knows she would do anything to protect Maura. She just gives him one final glance and turns to head back inside. "Goodbye Agent Dean. If you're not gone in the next five minutes, I will report you for trespassing." She says calmly before shutting the door.

She leans her head against the door for several seconds and sighs knowing now she'll have to plead for forgiveness from Maura. She turns to find her and seconds later her lips are captured by the blonde in a heated kiss as she's pushed back against the door. After the initial shock of the attack subsides, Jane wraps her arms around Maura and pulls her against her. Maura claims her mouth with her tongue and she doesn't fight back the moan that escapes her lips.

When they break for air, Jane rests her forehead against Maura's. "I'm sorry." She breathes, looking her in the eyes.

"I know." Maura whispers.

"I love you."

"I know, I love you too." Maura answers.

"I told Dean off." Jane tells her proudly.

"I heard."

"You were eavesdropping again, Maura." Jane laughs.

"Would you rather me not have been?" She asks.

"No." Jane answers before kissing Maura again. She starts out slow but soon things get more heated. Maura releases her lips and begins kissing a path down Jane's throat, paying extra attention to the special spot she's found over the past weeks with the detective. Like always when she attaches to Jane's pulse point it draws a moan from her making Maura smirk in triumph.

"I want you." Maura murmurs into her neck.

That's all she has to hear before Jane's pulling the blonde off to the bedroom.

* * *

When they emerge a few hours later, they find Angela in the kitchen preparing dinner.

"I was wondering if you girls were home. Good I'm making dinner. Everyone will be here shortly." When Jane gives her a confused look she reminds her "it's Sunday."

"Oh right." Jane responds.

"You two should probably get dressed." She remarks since both women are clad in shorts and a t-shirt, Maura wearing Jane's clothing.

Jane sighs exaggeratedly then pulls Maura back towards the bedroom.

"I like you in my clothes, maybe we shouldn't change." Jane says wrapping her arms around Maura's neck.

"I don't think that'd be appropriate for guests." Maura explains.

"I miss when Sunday dinners were at Ma's house so I didn't have to show up." Jane groans, releasing Maura to get dressed. "But I guess it's better that it's at your house than mine." She adds.

Maura laughs before going into the closet to find something to wear. When she emerges in new clothes she finds Jane dressed and laying half on the bed waiting for her. She takes a moment to stare at the brunette and gets lost in thought.

"Hey. What are you thinking about?" Maura hears, noticing Jane has gotten up and moved in front of her.

"Hmm. Nothing." She responds before pecking Jane on the lips and heading out into the kitchen. "Do you need any help?" She asks Angela.

Angela nods and gives her a task while Jane emerges and watches them work.

"You know you could do something too." Angela comments.

"I've got to tell you it's much more fun watching the two of you work." Jane jokes.

"Set the table." Angela demands.

"So bossy." Jane huffs before doing as she's told. "You see what I mean, Maura. Life used to be so good before."

"What is she talking about?" Angela asks Maura.

"I think Jane was referring to when she told me she missed you having your own place." Maura tells her.

"Maura!" Jane shouts.

"Sorry. Was I not supposed to repeat that?" She asks guiltily. "I really like having you here, Angela."

"Thank you dear. At least someone does." Angela says while looking pointedly at her daughter.

Jane enters the kitchen and wraps her arms around Maura's waist. "Suck up." She whispers in her ear earning a chuckle from her.

"But I have been searching for an apartment. I think you guys need some privacy without me here interfering." Angela admits.

"Angela you're never interfering." Maura promises her. "But if you'd really prefer to move out, well maybe you should take Jane's apartment."

When Maura feels Jane's arms tense around her she worries she may have suggested it too soon. Angela looks at her daughter and waits for her input.

Jane is shocked at what Maura is implying and maybe she should be angry that she said it without talking to her about it first. But she is more excited than anything. She had thought she was the only one thinking about moving in with Maura. Some would consider it to soon but it felt right. She's too busy considering it, she forgets to respond.

"I mean not necessarily right now, but when the time is right." Maura adds trying to save herself.

"You want me to move in with you?" Jane finally manages to ask.

"Yes. Do you want to move in with me?"

Jane tightens her grip on her girlfriend and kisses her cheek. "I do."

"You do?" Maura questions happily.

"Mhmm." Jane hums against her cheek.

Maura turns in her arms and embraces her tightly. "I love you." She sighs into her neck.

"I kind of love you too. Just a little." She teases.

"Just a little huh?" Maura prompts.

"Okay, maybe a bit more than a little." Jane says.

"Really?" Maura asks crossing her arms.

"Alright, maybe a lot." Jane amends.

"That's what I thought." Maura warns.

"Alright, alright. I know this is a happy moment and all and I'm sorry to interrupt but everyone is going to be here soon and I kind of need Maura's help to finish dinner." Angela says.

"Really, Ma?" Jane groans looking angrily at her mother only to be interrupted by the doorbell.

"You see?" Angela shouts.

Jane just groans and pecks Maura's lips before heading off to answer the door, giving her mother dirty looks the entire walk out of the kitchen.

"I'm really happy for the two of you." Angela tells Maura.

"Thanks Angela." Maura smiles. She's really happy for herself.

Another dinner spent with her family ended up being a great ending to a long, eventful day. She may not always admit it out loud but Jane truly loved her family and enjoyed spending time with them. Also she was on quite the high from her afternoon spent with Maura plus being asked to move in with her. After Angela spilled the beans to everyone about the couples' new decision, the evening turned into a makeshift congratulations party. She couldn't help but think things would be looking up for her in the future.

* * *

**A/N 2: Also shout out to XimeBeach for making me laugh with that review. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately (depends on how you look at it) I think for this chapter it's better to assume Dean's still greasy and just all around unattractive.**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: This chapter's kind of like a big ball of fluff and sexy times with a hint of plot so enjoy ;)**

* * *

Later that night the two of them lay in bed. Maura is pressed into Jane's side with an arm draped around her torso and her head on her shoulder as always. It's just another routine with each reveling in the warmth, security and embrace of the other. Jane hums contently and begins rubbing her arm gently across Maura's.

"Do you really want me to move in with you?" She whispers through the silence.

"Of course I do." Maura tightens her hold on the detective to help get her point across. "Do you not want to?" She asks worrying that Jane has changed her mind.

"God, Maura of course I do." She exclaims. "It's just…does it all seem too soon? We've only been dating a month and we've only been on one date."

"We've been best friends for three years now and loved each other for so long. You and I, we're not like everyone else. We fit together which is why it was so easy for us to make this transition in our relationship. I had everything I had with you before as your best friend except now we have the intimacy portion too. I'm not worried about us and if you think about it, it's like we've always been together and we were just taking it slow when it came to the physical aspect." Maura explains easily.

Jane chuckles. "Very, very, excruciatingly slow." She adds garnering a giggle from the blonde. "You play hard to get very well Maura Isles." She jokes.

"Well I am a lady."

"Mhm that you are." Jane agrees kissing the top of her head. "I feel like a pair of U-Haul lesbians."

"I'm not familiar with that term." Maura says her head scrunching up in clear confusion. Jane smiles at Maura's adorable expression before explaining the term.

"It's a stereotype that lesbians move in with each other on the second date."

Maura ponders the definition for a minute. "Well that doesn't really fit us. We are different."

"We _are _different." Jane repeats not needing an explanation. It's a fact, they are different.

"But, we should probably talk about what happened today." Maura says feeling Jane tense briefly at the memories.

"Maura I'm so sorry for not telling you I should-"

She's cut off by Maura's lips and then a shushing sound from the blonde who holds a soft reassuring smile.

"If I was still angry about that I wouldn't have asked you to move in with me tonight. But I don't want you to lie to me ever again, not even if it's to protect me. I want the truth, okay?" She asks.

"Always Maura. I will never lie to you again." Jane promises, the guilt from her mistake evident.

Maura kisses her softly before burying her head in Jane's neck. "What are we going to do about Paddy Doyle?" She mumbles.

"You don't have to do anything. I'll handle it."

"Jane you can't handle all my problems." Maura argues.

"But I'm going to handle this one, Maur. Being with me means you have to let me protect you. We had nothing to do with Doyle's escape and I'm not going to let them interrogate you like some criminal. They're not coming near you." She insists.

"Jane if they want to interview me, you can't stop them. They're the FBI." Maura explains softly while raising her head to look Jane in the eye.

"I'm going to do all I can though." Jane growls.

"Why does it matter? We aren't guilty so their questioning won't get them anywhere." Maura questions.

"Because if anyone gets wind of this they're going to blame you and I'm sick of the papers dragging your name through the mud just because you're Doyle's daughter. If they know he's escaped and you've been investigated for it they're not going to think twice about printing about your possible connections to the escape." Jane explains while cupping her face and rubbing a thumb across her cheek reassuringly.

"I don't care what other people think of me, Jane." Maura says truthfully nuzzling into Jane's hand.

"But I do." She asserts.

"Why?"

"Because you're the most amazing person I know and anyone who says otherwise deserves to have some sense knocked into them." Jane declares.

"You can't go around punching everyone who insults me." Maura says truthfully.

"If I have to, I'll try. Maura you're gorgeous and kind and so, so smart. You know things that a village of people wouldn't know collectively. You're the nicest person I know. You give so much and ask for nothing in return. And even more amazing is that you love so much and you're so positive. Even with the awful things we see on this job you manage to see the best in the world and the best in everybody." She compliments. "You even see the best in me." Jane adds while pressing her head against the blonde's. "You don't deserve half of the shit this world gives you and if there is anything life throws at you that I can protect you from, no matter how small of a portion it is, I'll do my best to do it. I'll guard you with my life." She states firmly.

"I love you so much, but I don't need you to do that. I know you need to protect me and there are times when I'm glad you're there to stand in and guard me. But I don't want you to do things that are unnecessary. I know you care what people think of me but I don't because the only people who matter are happy to be in my life and they know who I really am. You know who I really am and you shower me with all these amazing compliments that make me so sure of who I am and that's all that matters. You're all that matters to me." Maura admits.

"Maura I still-"

Her words are cut off again by Maura's lips in a gentle kiss that pulls the remaining breath from her. Maura moves her lips softly against hers keeping the kiss light but loving. She presses down a little more, adding a more insistent pressure to Jane's lips before detaching hers with a pop. She allows Jane to catch her breath while she nuzzles her nose against hers. "I just want you Jane. Just you. I don't care about anyone else because when I'm with you it's just us. If they question me I'll tell the truth and if the media wants to point the finger at me, all I need is you to be here to help me drown it all out. I need you here to reassure me and tell me the truth, always tell me the truth. So just leave it alone and hopefully it will settle itself. Can you do that for me?" Maura asks softly while staring intently into Jane's eyes.

Jane sighs and nods a hesitant yes before Maura attacks her lips again. This time it's fiery and intense and it only takes a moment to leave Jane breathless. Maura releases her lips and gives her a few seconds to catch her breath before she presses against them again. She nibbles Jane's bottom lip and swipes her tongue along it demanding entrance. Once Jane open's her lips to grant access, Maura wastes no time in pushing her tongue past and claiming her mouth.

An embarrassingly loud moan escapes Jane's mouth but she doesn't care because there isn't anything that turns her on more than Maura being the top in bed. She just hopes her mother isn't in the house because at the rate Maura is going she's sure she won't be able to keep quiet. A surprise grind of Maura's hips pulls a loud "oh God" from her throat as Maura begins kissing her way down her neck occasionally pushing her hips against the detective's.

She moves to Jane's ear and pulls it between her teeth before whispering "Are you ready for round three?" into it. Jane groans as she feels her panties soak at Maura's words.

"You're trying to kill me." She mutters remembering their exhausting lovemaking marathon earlier in the afternoon.

Maura immediately stops her movements, lifts her head and looks worriedly at the detective. "Jane is something wrong? Does your chest hurt?"

"Oh God, no Maura keep going." She begs breathlessly. When Maura doesn't continue she bucks her own hips up trying to convince her. "Maura it was an exaggeration. The doctor said we could have sex again after two weeks. Please!" She pleads.

Maura looks at her hesitantly for a moment before agreeing and kissing her softly on the lips. When Jane bites Maura's lip she turns the kiss back into its aggressive predecessors and continues grounding her hips into Jane's. She returns to attacking her neck and stops at the collar of her shirt while she grasps the hem at the bottom. "Off" she demands only to have Jane throwing it off within seconds. She smirks at how easily she can command the stubborn detective in this situation and she's ready to use that to her advantage.

She flicks the snap of Jane's bra open with ease and pulls it off before taking the bud of Jane's breast into her mouth and sucking expertly while palming the other. She smiles momentarily at the little squeaks and moans she hears from Jane before continuing her assault and moving to lavish the same treatment upon the other breast.

When Jane tries to lift her shirt, Maura stops and sends her a smirk before shaking her head no. She leans back down and pulls Jane's nipple between her teeth and bites down gently earning a hiss from her lover.

"Maura." Jane groans.

She just chuckles and moves her attack back upwards to Jane's neck. Jane gasps at a particularly hard thrust of Maura's hips and hisses when she nips her neck before she smoothes over the mark with her tongue.

Maura begins a torturously slow rhythm with her hips as she keeps up her movements on Jane's neck.

Jane is sure her panties are ruined and she couldn't care less. But she knows that if Maura doesn't do something more, she may explode. She grabs the blonde's hips and attempts to pull them towards her but Maura stops her and tuts while shaking her head no again.

"Please Maura, do something." She groans desperately in the need for relief.

"What do you want me to do?" Maura asks innocently.

"Go…Faster." Jane pants in frustration.

Maura smiles against her neck before sucking even harder and beginning to speed up her rhythms.

"Oh…Maura, harder." She grunts bucking her hips against Maura's in a matching rhythm. This time Maura spares her and complies pushing their centers together with renewed intensity and speed causing her to palm to sheets with one hand and grip Maura tighter with the other.

"Yes. Fuck, keep going." Jane growls out. She knows she's already insanely close and she doesn't care. Maura's teasing paired with her being on top has made her incredibly sensitive.

"Feel good?" Maura asks breathlessly her own arousal causing it to become difficult to form full sentences.

"So good." She responds in between moans. "Almost." She whispers.

With a particularly hard thrust on Maura's part Jane is sent over the edge screaming Maura's name allowing her to follow closely behind collapsing on top of her spent body.

Maura regains her composure quickly and kisses Jane passionately on the lips before wrapping her hands around Jane's shorts. Jane ignores it until Maura begins kissing down her body again. She stops at Jane's perfect abs and pays special attention to her favorite part of the detective.

"Maura what are you doing?" Jane pants still recovering.

"You didn't think I was done did you?" Maura asks with a sensual smirk upon her lips.

Jane groans while Maura pulls down her shorts and trails her kisses down towards Jane's center.

She hears mewling from above her as she blows warm air against Jane's sex.

"Maur, the teasing- Oh God!" She shouts midway through her sentence when she feels Maura's tongue tease her clit.

Maura parts her legs more and moans when she tastes her better causing Jane to gasp at the sensation. She continues swirling her tongue around Jane's clit and when she sucks it between her lips she hears Jane yell her name and feels her thread a hand through her hair.

She moves down to tease her entrance a little and Jane bucks her hips begging the teasing to finally stop.

Maura delivers after a few seconds longer and thrusts her tongue in an out at a slow pace speeding it up over time.

Jane feels the coil winding within her lower abdomen and knows it won't be long until she comes again. Maura's tongue does things to her that no one else in the world would ever be able to duplicate.

"Oh fuck. There." Jane growls when Maura hits a particular spot and she moans every time Maura continues to hit it. It only takes three more thrusts after that to send her over the edge.

"Mauraaa." She shouts as she's catapulted into one of the most amazing orgasms she's ever experienced.

Maura continues to lap up Jane's juices while the brunette tries to regain the ability to think and move. When Jane's tremors become less intense Maura moves back to Jane's clit and sucks it in her mouth again before flicking it with her tongue over and over again.

"Oh God, Maura." Jane yells. "Not again. I can't!"

Maura doesn't listen but sucks harder on the swollen bud.

"Oh fuuuck" Jane screams as she's sent into a third orgasm.

This time Maura hurries up Jane's body and kisses her fiercely on the lips. She moves slowly against the detective while she brings her down from her final orgasm.

Several minutes later Jane's breathing finally slows and she regains some control of her body.

"Jesus Maura that was fucking incredible." Jane breathes before kissing the blonde thankfully. She trails to Maura's ear and whispers "your turn" before trying to remove her blouse.

Maura grabs her hands and kisses her softly on the lips. "Not tonight, you're exhausted." She explains.

"Are you sure?" Jane asks. She really wants to make Maura feel as amazing as she's just made her feel but she is exhausted.

Maura just answers with another kiss.

"Can you at least take your clothes off?" Jane begs noting the blonde is still fully dressed while she is completely bare. "I want to feel you."

Maura agrees and strips off her clothes before settling next to the detective in their usual positions.

"I love you, Maura." Jane whispers into the darkness.

"I love you too. So much." Maura answers.

She smiles when she hears the exhausted yawn of her girlfriend and plants a gentle kiss on Jane's chest.

She hopes it will always be like this: passionate and loving. She knows how much Jane cares for her just by how much she wants to protect her but she can also tell how much Jane wants her to be happy by her hesitant agreement to not interfere with the investigation.

Jane would change everything about her being to make Maura happy, even tone down her protective instinct and it made Maura want to do whatever she could to return the favor and make Jane just as happy as she would.

Most of all she just couldn't keep her hands off the woman and after two weeks of having to resist the Rizzoli charm it was even worse. But she'd just chalk their day up to making up for lost time.

It's official. Jane Rizzoli is and always will be the love of Maura's life. She never believed before in true love but now Maura is sure that Jane is the only person out there for her.

With that thought she falls asleep feeling content and so lucky that she found Jane and she's never willing to let her go again.

* * *

**A/N: I took a few suggestions into account with this chapter so I hope it satisfied a few people. I am leaving a few specific things out of conversation between Jane and Maura because I have plans to use it later so if you're looking for something in particular it may come up. Also somebody said in a review about Jane needing to take it easy after heart surgery and that's something I worried about. I've never had heart surgery so I can't say exactly what it's like but I did a lot of research and people who have had similar surgery to Jane's said they were physically active again after two weeks. Recovery time is supposed to be greatly reduced and yes they do say after two weeks that sex is totally safe so it's been two weeks.**

**I just got back to college and classes start tomorrow so I don't know how regular chapters will be from now on. Plus I have a roommate so I can't stay up typing at all hours of the night like before but I'll try to keep updates weekly.**

**Also I'm greatly sorry for any mistakes. I've always had problems reviewing my own work because no matter how many times I reread I miss things and it's annoying to edit and reupload chapters (they've really got to make a way to make that easier). I fix things I notice afterwards in my master document so maybe one day I will go through and fix all the chapters. Every time I see a mistake in my posted chapters I just really wish I had a Beta, especially since there is always at least one stupid mistake that I'm sure another person could have easily spotted.**

**Anyways thank you for all of the reviews and the constructive criticism, I really like to take it into account. Happy readings, I can't wait to wake up to your reviews :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Well this took a while to get out. I'm sorry school's been crazy and I'm already behind a week in a class because I switched into it on the last day of drop/add and I'm pulling my hair out because it's calculus and I have no idea what's going on. But I've managed to not sleep sometimes in order to write. I've got someone looking over my chapters and she's really awesome! But that means for the sake of her schedule too that it may take a little more time to update (but I'll mostly be to blame to be honest because she's super fast and amazing). Anyways enjoy and review if you please :)**

* * *

When Jane returned to work the next week she heard nothing of Cavanaugh's retirement or about her possible selection as the new lieutenant. It was a bit disappointing but she was glad she didn't get her hopes up.

A week after returning Cavanaugh announced that Frankie would be receiving the open detective's position. He worked with Jane and Korsak until Frost returned before becoming Korsak's partner permanently. It made the job easier to have two working pairs of detectives working the cases.

They threw a party for Frankie to celebrate his promotion. It was a great a even for the whole family.

"_I'm really proud of you Frankie." Jane praises him giving him a congratulatory pat on the shoulder._

"_Thanks Jane." He says gratefully the smile never leaving his lips for that entire night._

"_I'm glad you finally made detective."Maura says sweetly from beside her girlfriend._

_Frankie hugs the blonde and whispers a thank you in her ear before releasing her._

"_Since when have you two been so affectionate?" Jane asks._

"_Since you finally grew the balls to make a move Janie. We'll be related soon so I might as well treat her more like family." Frankie tells her._

_She rolls her eyes even though she knows it's true. She really wants to marry Maura Isles one day. Maura just places an arm around Jane's waist and leans her head on her shoulder._

"_Yeah well how's it going with Julia? Will I be calling her sister anytime soon?" Jane shoots back._

"_Slow down there, I really like her Jane but it's way too soon. But she could be it for me. It's been a really good year for me." Frankie exclaims._

"_It's been a good year for the both of us." Jane answers looking down at the gorgeous blonde on her shoulder and squeezing her waist affectionately._

_And despite all its ups and downs, it had truly been a good year for the two detectives._

* * *

Angela had moved out two weeks after Maura had suggested it and once Jane had officially moved in and there was no one around to interrupt, they became a lot more active and experimental in different parts of their home. One thing Jane couldn't get over saying was the words "home" and "ours." It felt great to share those things with Maura.

"_Hey honey I went out and bought some groceries." Maura tells the brunette currently stationed on the couch watching sports highlights._

"_Did you buy cocoa puffs?" She asks not taking her eyes from the TV._

_Maura rolls her eyes, a trait she has obviously picked up from the detective. "Yes I got you your insanely unhealthy cereal." Maura answers before heading into the kitchen to put the stuff away. Seconds later she's enveloped in a tight surprise embrace from the detective._

_Jane kisses her briefly before pushing her off towards the couch. "Have a seat; I'll put this all away."_

_Maura pecks her thankfully on the lips before doing as she's told. A few minutes later Jane returns to the couch with her and places Maura's feet on her lap._

"_Has anyone ever told you you're the perfect girlfriend?" Maura questions as Jane rubs her legs and feet absently._

_Jane chuckles. "What do you want to do today?"_

"_I was thinking maybe we should go and buy some new sheets for our bed." Maura suggests._

"_Why do we need new sheets?"_

"_Because it's __**our**__ bed now, not just mine. I want us to pick out sheets together because it's a collective space." Maura explains._

"_Babe, your sheets are fine." Jane explains._

"_I just want it to be ours, Jane." Maura pouts._

_In seconds she caves. "Okay. I get it, it's some symbolic thing. We'll go pick out new sheets."_

_Maura smiles brightly and wraps her arms around the brunette's neck._

_Jane laughs at Maura's enthusiasm._

"_Great and when we come home we can make use of our new sheets." Maura hints._

_Jane raises an eyebrow and smirks at the suggestion before kissing the blonde fiercely on the lips. "I really like the sound of that. Our home and our sheets." Jane says enthusiastically while finally understanding her girlfriend's excitement. Everything was theirs now and she couldn't be happier to share everything with someone she loved so much._

They fell into sync while living together. It was great to finally live without any interference from her mother and subsequently anyone who came to visit her mother like Tommy or Frankie. It was just her and Maura alone together in their own house.

* * *

Weeks passed and eventually the FBI's random visits to the precinct stopped. It was obvious they were trying to stick around in case anything was fishy, but Maura and Jane truly had nothing to do with Doyle's escape and they hadn't heard from him at all. Jane was sure he wouldn't be stupid enough to make his presence obvious while the heat was still on him.

Jane hadn't seen Dean since their encounter outside her house and she figured he was probably taken off the case when he got nothing out of her. Thankfully they never found enough evidence to implicate Maura and she had a solid alibi so they never questioned her. It may have partially been due to Jane giving the Boston head of the FBI a piece of her mind. Maura may have been angry had she found out that Jane still interfered but Jane would do anything to protect her best friend and girlfriend.

Between the two pairs of detectives they were easily able to work through multiple cases and luckily they had been fairly simple. DNA or witnesses were often present and cases were being closed within 24 to 48 hours.

Jane loved the cases that were easily solved helping put the scum away where they belonged even faster. It also gave her quite enough time to spend in the morgue with her girlfriend.

"_Jane I don't think we should be doing this at work." Maura stated truthfully, her professional concern overpowering the pleasure Jane was instilling by sucking on her neck in her office._

"_It's our lunch break." Jane growls continuing her assault on the blonde's neck. In fact it __**was**__ there lunch break but it was only seconds in before Jane had attacked Maura's lips forgetting her meal on the desk and turning to something a lot more appetizing._

"_Jane." Maura stammers. "This isn't very professional."_

_Jane just sucks harder on Maura's pulse point eliciting a loud moan from the M.E."I don't think I've ever cared too much for professionalism. Besides we don't need to be doing anything else right now." Jane argues into Maura's neck._

"_I still don't think this is appropriate behavior." Maura tells her though it's obvious she doesn't truly want to stop._

"_Hmm I recall a certain M.E. doing similar things to me a few months ago." Jane points out._

"_It was a moment of weakness and I felt bad for marking you." Maura defends._

"_Well then this is a moment of weakness because truthfully Maura I can't keep my freakin' hands off of you." Jane husks before pulling the blonde's hips against her own roughly._

"_Oh you're making this so difficult but we've got to stop." Maura says sadly._

_Jane sighs and rests her forehead on her girlfriend's shoulder. "You look so damn good in your scrubs too." She grumbles._

_Maura chuckles and kisses Jane's hair. "We can continue this at home."_

"_Can you stay in your scrubs and we can play doctor?" Jane suggests lifting her head to reveal a playful smirk on her lips._

"_Why would you want us to play doctor? Are you not feeling well?" Maura asks confused as to how their conversation had shifted._

_Jane just kisses her affectionately and smiles. Maura is still adorable and socially awkward sometimes and she just loves it even more now that they're together and she can kiss that cute confused look away. "It's an expression for sex, Maura."_

"_Oh, well then we can definitely play doctor when we get home." Maura agrees seriously._

"_God you're cute." Jane chuckles before kissing Maura again. It turns heated quickly before Maura pushes her away._

"_I'm pretty sure this is what got us in this situation to begin with." She warns the grabby brunette._

"_I can't help it that you make me want you all the time." Jane grumbles._

"_I can't wait till we get home so I can show you how much I want __**you**__." Maura whispers seductively._

"_Not helping, Maur. Let's just leave early." Jane pleads._

"_That wouldn't be very professional either." Maura explains._

"_Who cares about professionalism?" Jane practically shouts out of sexual frustration._

"_I do since you could possibly be up for the lieutenant position."_

"_Why are you always right?" Jane groans."I can't wait till this day ends."_

"_Me either." Maura agrees pecking her girlfriend's lips. "You should probably head back up and finish your lunch upstairs though so we don't keep distracting each other." Maura suggests sadly._

_Jane frowns but agrees. "I'll see you later."_

_Maura nods while handing the brunette her food. "I love you."_

"_I love you too, babe." Jane answers with a peck to the cheek before heading out of the morgue._

This happened quite often. They spent most of their days trying to keep a healthy and professional distance at work but the two of them truly couldn't stay away from each other. They had loved each other for so long it was like they were just making up for lost time, but to anyone else they most likely seemed incredibly horny or incredibly sexually frustrated by lack of sex. The latter however could not have been more untrue for the two of them.

* * *

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around Jane was happy to finally have a holiday. The fact that they hadn't had any difficult cases was somewhat of a Godsend as she wasn't extremely busy on casework and out in the field. But work was still crazy as the paperwork continued to mount.

They prepared dinner at her and Maura's house and everyone attended. It seemed the family was growing and the joy was obvious in Angela's face the entire evening.

"_Thank you for allowing us to have everyone over for Thanksgiving, Maura." Angela says for what seems like the hundredth time. Throughout the week Maura and Angela had been shopping and planning for the meal to feed all the guests._

"_Angela I told you it's no problem. You're my family and I'm happy to spend the holidays with everyone. Besides this is Jane's house too now." Maura answers with a smile._

"_Yeah, but my daughter is sitting on the couch while you and Julia are in the kitchen helping." Angela jokes while nodding to her daughter and son who are watching ESPN in the living room._

"_Typical." Julia laughs._

"_You know Maura, I think you should ask her to peel these potatoes. I'm pretty sure she'd listen to you before she'd listen to me and we need more hands in here." Angela wonders._

_Maura smiles before walking up to the brunette. "Honey do you think you could come help us in the kitchen? We need you to peel the potatoes." She asks sweetly._

_Jane turns to her girlfriend and as soon as she looked her in the eyes she knew she couldn't deny her. "Sure thing." Jane agrees receiving an appreciative peck from the blonde before she walks back into the kitchen._

"_Maura you just may become my secret weapon." Angela laughs lightly._

_Jane gets up and heads to the kitchen ignoring the whipping sounds Frankie makes at her. She doesn't quiet her loud chuckles when seconds later Julia asks him to set the table and he agrees._

"_Hey, Ma are Tommy and the baby coming over?" Jane questions from her station in the kitchen._

"_Yes. He has found the time to grace us with his presence so I can finally spend some time with my grandson."_

"_Good." Jane answers secretly excited to see the little poop machine again._

_Jane and Maura cared for the infant until the DNA results came back and indicated Tommy was the father. Everyone let out a collective sigh of relief on that one. Angela was excited to have her first grandchild but not as excited as she should have been. She loved little Junior, as everyone called him instead of by the name Tommy had chosen, but as Tommy got a job he had to move out of the city so she rarely got to see him._

_When Tommy arrived it took seconds before Angela was scooping the baby out of his hands before he even fully got in the door._

"_Hey Tommy." Jane greeted her brother with a tight hug. She was really proud of how much he had grown up after taking responsibility of his child._

"_Good to see you, Jane."He mumbled into the embrace._

"_How have you been? We never see you around here anymore." She asks after releasing him._

"_I've been good. It's a lot of work being a single parent you know. But I've got a really great neighbor who likes to watch him for me while I work. She's really nice and she loves him so that's great. I've been working a lot to make sure he has everything he needs." Tommy explains._

"_I'm really proud of how you've turned your life around." Jane commends him._

"_Yeah well I kind of had to for his sake." He answers looking over to the baby now perched happily on Maura's lap. "Ma told me about Maura and you. I was gonna call and say congrats but ya know it's not easy finding time to sleep let alone use the phone."_

"_Thanks." Jane says smiling at her girlfriend playing with the baby before looking back towards her brother._

"_You know if I had known how you felt, Jane I would have never…you know?" He says nervously rubbing the back of his neck._

"_Don't sweat it Tommy."Jane forgives him. "You didn't know."_

_Tommy smiles at her before turning back and noticing Maura with his son. "She's a natural at that. You both were."_

"_Yeah. It was all more Maura than me." Jane laughs while watching her girlfriend tickle the infant._

"_When are you and her going to have your own?" He asks as if it's a casually question._

_Jane panics internally at the thought of having kids right now. She knows it's definitely way too early. "Tommy, we've just moved in together. We are not having kids for a while."_

"_I'm just saying Jane. She looks good with a baby. And mom would probably rather have a grandchild that's more close to home." Tommy proposes._

"_Yeah she still hounds about grandchildren but please don't turn into her. Maura and I aren't there yet."_

_He just chuckles and pats her on the shoulder. "Well when you are ready, you'll both make great parents."_

"_Thanks." She says through a genuine smile before heading off to sit next to Maura on the couch. She places an arm around her girlfriend and occasionally tickles her nephew when she's not lost in thought. She can't help but beg internally that this doesn't cause a baby fever with Maura because she knows she won't be able to say no to the blonde but she just doesn't want a kid right now. _

_She'd be lying if she said the thought doesn't invoke some form of excitement. She truly enjoyed the weeks she spent caring for the newborn with her girlfriend despite the crying and spit up and diapers. Though she may have acted as if she hated it and that motherhood wasn't for her she does want to experience it herself. But those were the times when she thought the person she wanted to experience it with would never feel the same way about her._

_And now here she sits with her arm wrapped around the woman she's loved for so long playing with the accurate representation of what their future can hold. So she doesn't hold herself back from placing a loving peck on Maura's cheek and when the blonde turns and kisses her briefly on the lips she doesn't hide her smile. A smile Angela notices and so she doesn't hold back her own as she sees how Jane has finally found what she had been hoping she'd find since she held her daughter in her arms for the first time: Genuine love. She looks to her middle son holding hands timidly with Julia and her youngest son smiling brightly at his own and she's filled with even greater joy. Her kids are all growing up. They're finding their own happiness and that's what she's proud of about them the most. That's what she's thankful for this Thanksgiving._


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. My only excuse is school. I'm not going to write a whole paragraph here but I hope you like this. I'm halfway through the next chapter but midterms are next week so I don't think I will be finding much time to write. I promise it won't be another month before it's out though.**

**Anyways enjoy and review if you please.**

* * *

It's the first week of December and quite a few inches of snow have fallen in Boston. Cold weather and Maura's warm body pressed up against her make it that much harder for Jane to find any inclination to get out of bed in the mornings. Maura began setting the alarm a bit earlier now to allow the two of them two cuddle together in warmth before facing the reality of having to go to work. Usually Maura is the first out of bed in order to get Jane to follow once the warmth of Maura has left the sheets.

Maura secretly loves that Jane isn't in a rush to go to work anymore and would rather spend more time in bed with her. It seems to be a little bit of proof to Maura that Jane wasn't lying when she said she'd choose Maura over her job. She knows she'd never ask that of Jane but she secretly enjoys that Jane is subconsciously making that decision every morning. If Maura did not force the brunette out of bed she is sure Jane would be content in remaining tangled in her warmth all day.

Today however the detective doesn't awake with her legs tangled with more shapely and smoother ones. She doesn't feel a blonde head of hair on her chest or an arm draped tightly over her stomach. Most importantly she doesn't feel that familiar warmth. She's actually quite cold and then she realizes not only is Maura not wrapped up with her but she no longer has the warmth of a blanket wrapped around her.

She wipes her tired eyes and feels around until she finds the blanket and her girlfriend at the other edge of the bed. She turns the bedside lamp on to get a clearer picture and that's when she notices that Maura is wrapped tightly in the blanket moving slightly. She leans over and pulls the covers back gently and runs her hand softly through Maura's hair only to feel clammy warm skin. It dawns on her that Maura is shivering beneath the warmth of the blanket but also sweating. She realizes immediately why her girlfriend has moved to a different position.

She kisses Maura's moist forehead softly and attempts to wake her.

"Maura, wake up baby." She whispers into her ear while beginning to remove the blanket from her drenched body. She receives a soft groan from the blonde but she doesn't stir.

Jane begins to worry noticing that Maura's body and clothing are completely soaked in her sweat while she shivers badly without the blanket. She gives Maura a shake hoping to rouse her before panic settles in and she fears the worst.

When Maura begins to open her eyes Jane's fears are quelled.

"Maura sweetie you're running a fever." Jane says quietly to the blonde.

Maura nods lightly her eyes blinking from the light and Jane can only assume she has a headache along with her fever.

"I'm going to help change you into dry clothes and move you to the guest bed okay?"

Maura shakes her head and Jane frowns feeling awful for her sick girlfriend.

"Baby the sheets and your clothes are soaked. I need to stop the chills." Jane explains.

"Paracetamol." Maura murmurs.

"In English babe? I don't know what that is." Jane asks secretly thankful Maura isn't too out of it.

"Fever reducer in my bathroom." She explains in broken sentences.

"Tylenol?" Jane asks receiving a nod from Maura. "You could have just said that." She says lightly before heading to get Maura two pills and some water.

She hands it to Maura once she returns and makes sure she is able to take it.

"What hurts?" Jane asks softly.

"Everything." Maura groans. "I think I have influenza."

"I think you're right." Jane agrees before moving to her drawers to remove a t-shirt and a pair of boxers for Maura to wear.

It takes her awhile to get Maura out of her wet clothes and into dry ones probably because she's sure Maura's entire body is exhausted and most likely sore. She hates seeing Maura in pain, so forcing her to move her tired body right now breaks her heart.

She grabs the thermometer from the bathroom and sticks it under Maura's tongue and anxiously waits for the beep before examining it sadly. She bends down next to the bed and takes Maura's tired hand in her own.

"How do you feel?" She asks softly.

"Awful." Maura mumbles.

"You're running a fever of 102, Maur." Jane informs her.

"The fever reducer should take effect soon." She says surely.

"I'm going to lift you and take you into the guest bedroom so you're all dry okay?"

"You can't lift me." Maura argues.

"Are you strong enough to walk?" Jane asks.

"Maybe." She answers with a waver in her voice.

Jane ignores her and begins to lift her off of the bed. She carries the blonde into the guest room which takes a lot more effort than when she's ever carried her before as now she seems to be mostly dead weight.

"I'm cold." Maura mumbles weakly once she is placed on the bed.

Jane frowns and pulls Maura's damp hair out of her face and feels her clammy forehead. "I know." She hushes softly while placing a soft kiss on Maura's cheek. "I'm sorry but I need you to cool off. You'll get too hot under a blanket." She tries to explain before placing a light sheet over her shivering body. She recognizes now that whatever clarity Maura had before is slowly disappearing as her exhaustion reclaims her.

She remains for a moment and tries to get Maura to sleep with soft encouraging caresses, gentle lulling and occasional light kisses to her face. When she is sure Maura is in as deep of a sleep she can get, she places a bucket next to the bed in case she has to expel what little contents are in her stomach.

Jane quickly removes the soaked sheets from their bed and replaces it with their old ones while throwing the soiled ones in the laundry. She places down towels to absorb Maura's sweat for when she moves her back into their room.

_How could she have gotten this sick so quickly? She was perfectly fine last night. _Jane thinks to herself as she dials into work to call out for both her and Maura.

After informing Cavanaugh she wouldn't be coming in and arguing with Frost for ten minutes trying to convince him she and Maura weren't playing hooky she goes in to check on Maura. Seeing her girlfriend shivering and sweating and obviously in pain is something she can't stand to watch, but she knows there's nothing she could do but try to ease the pain and discomfort.

She tucks the sheet more securely around Maura and places a wet cloth on her forehead before leaving her to get some sleep.

She heads into the kitchen and prepares to make soup for her while she calls her mother.

"Janie, why haven't you and Maura been in for breakfast?" Her mother demands as soon as she picks up.

"Ma, Maura is really sick." Jane explains sadly.

"Oh no." Angela gasps. "What's wrong? Do you need me?"

"No, but she's running a really high fever."

"Give her some fever reducer and try to cool her off with a damp cloth or a cold bath." She instructs.

"I've done that and I'll give her a bath if her shivers stop." Jane informs her.

"Good, seems like you don't need me." Angela says happily.

"Well I just did everything you've done for me." She shrugs though she knows her mom can't see her.

"I'm glad you learned something from me and I'm glad Maura has you to take care of her." Angela commends.

"I just don't get how she went from being perfectly fine last night to having such a high fever. She's completely out of it." Jane wonders.

"There has been a nasty bug going around lately. It's flu season and it's pretty cold in Boston this winter. Just take good care of Maura and don't get sick yourself." Angela warns.

"I just want her to feel better. I don't like seeing her like this you know."

"It's just the flu, dear. If her fever goes above 102 then consider taking her to the ER but for now just work on getting it lowered and she will be fine. She's in good hands with you."

"I hope so." Jane responds glumly.

"I'll come by later tonight and make the two of you a healthy meal and check on Maura for you."

"Thanks Ma." Jane says before hanging up and continuing to prepare Maura's food.

It's an hour later when she tries to rouse her girlfriend again, this time armed with hot soup and water.

Maura wakes easier than before which Jane takes as a good sign and her shivering seems to have stopped.

"Are you feeling a little better?" Jane asks hopefully.

Maura whispers a hoarse "yeah" while Jane feels her head.

"Great." She answers with a smile. "I brought you soup and water and Ma is coming over later to make you something healthy and delicious." She sets down the food and checks Maura's head again.

"It seems like your fever has gone down a bit. Do you want to take a cold shower so you can cool off some more?"

"No." Maura states casually.

Jane shakes her head lightly while she helps her into a sitting position before handing her the soup. "This will help and maybe I can convince you to take that shower. It will help with your fever." She pushes.

"I don't think so. Thank you for the soup." She answers before taking a spoonful in her mouth.

She shakes her head again before taking a seat on the other side of the bed while Maura eats. She knows Maura is probably weak and feeling awful but the Tylenol can only do so much to lower her fever. Yes, Maura is looking better than this morning but Jane wants to make her healthier as fast as she can and a cold shower could help. "For being a doctor, you sure are great at ignoring medical recommendations." Jane mutters under her breath.

"Fine, I'll take the shower Jane." Maura answers with a little bit of a bite surprising Jane.

"Maura, I just want what's best for you and it will help make you feel better." Jane defends once she gets over her surprise.

"You shouldn't have called out of work." Maura answers with the spite gone from her voice this time.

"I wasn't going to leave you home like this. I wanted to take care of you." Jane answers truthfully.

"I would have been fine." Jane hears from her softly.

"Maura, I don't care. I want to make you feel better. Is there something wrong with that?" Jane asks confused as to why Maura is acting like this.

Maura takes a few more spoonfuls of soup before placing it on the nightstand next to her. Jane watches quietly hoping Maura will tell her what's wrong. She scoots closer to the blonde in hopes of getting her to relax and tell her what she did wrong.

"Did I do something wrong, Maura?" Jane finally asks when Maura says nothing.

"No." She answers softly while looking down at her lap.

"You've got to talk to me. I mean we get each other Maura but I can't always know what you're thinking."

"I'm just not used to this. All this attention when I've been sick and I guess I'm a bit cranky from feeling so bad. But I usually just take care of myself and you have already missed so much work. I don't want you to call out because of me." Maura finally explains.

Jane suddenly realizes that Maura's mother wasn't around much and so yeah it's natural she's used to having to care for herself when she's sick. It makes her love her own mother that much more. And though Constance is trying to be a better force in Maura's life, it doesn't make up for the past and Maura's childhood. Being taken care of by a French boarding school nurse probably compares little to a caring mother armed with chicken noodle soup, warm blankets and cartoons. And now that Maura is grown and doesn't even have the presence of a school nurse it seems to be worse.

"Maura, I want you to know that I _want _to take care of you when you're sick. And I chose to stay home with you. I love you, so you better get used to it because every time you're sick I'm going to be here to care for you. I just ask that you do the same for me. And I'll miss a hundred days of work for you."

With that Maura lifts her head and sees the conviction in Jane's eyes and she believes everything she promised.

"Do we have a deal?" Jane asks receiving a light nod from Maura. "Good." She states leaning in to seal their promise with a kiss.

"You can't kiss me, Jane." Maura exclaims while pulling away.

"Babe, we sleep in the same bed. Besides you're most contagious before symptoms appear so if you were going to get me sick it would have happened already." She argues.

"That's a myth, Jane. I'm just as contagious as I was yesterday." Maura counters.

"Well I don't care. I'll take the risk."

"Well I do. I don't want to get you sick." Maura says with finality.

"Fine." Jane groans. "Do you want to shower or what?"

"Yes." Maura answers without argument this time.

"Good. I'll get you a change of clothes and some more Tylenol for when you get out, okay?" Jane asks sneaking a peck onto the blonde's cheek before Maura could stop her.

After her shower and another dose of Tylenol, Jane was happy to note that Maura's fever was under control. Her mother had come over and made them chicken and rice. She'd given Maura Popsicles which made Jane chuckle when Maura, of course, questioned it.

"It helps with your sore throat." Angela explains.

"Can't warm tea with honey do the same?" Maura questions.

"Yes but it doesn't taste as good, and these are 100% fruit. It's got vitamin C." Angela pushes while trying to get Maura to take the frozen treat.

"I don't see how it's a better choice than tea." Maura wonders.

"Just eat the Popsicle, Maura. It's more for kids I suppose. Nothing cheers a sick kid up more than a popsicle." Jane explains.

"You're never too old for ice cream." Angela argues.

Maura smiles at the two Rizzoli women before breaking a Popsicle off of the dual package.

"Wait, I want that one." Jane halts her.

"Why?" Maura asks, scrunching her face in confusion.

"It's red. That's the best flavor." Jane answers before trying to take it from Maura.

Angela slaps her hand away. "Maura is the one who is sick. She gets first pick."

"You can have it, Jane." Maura says handing it over. "Besides, red is a color, not a flavor." She corrects.

Jane smiles before taking the treat, unwrapping it and eating it happily.

"I swear you still act like a child sometimes." Angela scolds before handing Maura the other half of the Popsicle.

"I like this side of Jane." Maura inputs. "It shows she's not all about sarcasm and deadpan humor."

"Gee, thanks babe." Jane drawls before taking a bite of her food.

"And now she's back." Angela jokes earning a glare from her daughter. "Well I'll leave you two ladies for the night. Jane make sure her fever doesn't return through the night. Keep her warm to avoid chills but not too warm to where she starts heating up again. Keep taking Tylenol for the fever and the body aches. Healthy and brothy foods plus lots of vitamin C for the next few days and…"

"Ma!" Jane shouts. "I've got it."

"Okay. And try to limit contact. This is a nasty bug Jane. You don't want it. So no kissing." She warns.

"No promises." Jane responds while leading her out.

"I promise Angela." Maura says from the kitchen.

"For now." Jane grumbles. "Goodbye, Ma. I'll probably see you tomorrow if Maura's feeling better."

"Okay Janie. You two get some rest."

"Will do." Jane promises before shutting the door and shuffling back into the kitchen. "How are you feeling?" She asks Maura who is still eating her Popsicle.

"Aside from being totally exhausted and the temporary myalgia I'm feeling a lot better. You're quite the healer." Maura commends. "And your mom was right. This certainly helped with my throat." She says while indicating the frozen stick in her hand.

"Right. Well I understood a majority of that and I told you I just did what my mom has always done for me."

"Well you're great at it. You'll be a really good mother." Maura suggests before seeing Jane gulp in front of her at the mention of kids. "Also, myalgia is muscle pain." She blurts out to quickly change the subject and save Jane from the discomfort.

"Do you want to lie back down then?" Jane asks inwardly glad that Maura changed the subject.

"Yes." Maura answers.

Jane leads her to their bedroom and tucks her in with a fleece throw to keep her warm. She plants a kiss on Maura's forehead after arguing for the allowance. She's almost out the door of the bedroom before Maura's voice halts her steps.

"Where are you going?" Maura asks.

"I was going to sleep on the couch. I know you don't want to get me sick." Jane explains.

"Can you lay with me?" She begs sweetly.

Jane nods happily before getting into bed on her side and curling up behind Maura and spooning her tightly. She didn't really want to sleep on the couch anyways.

Soon she can't hold back from pressing soft sweet kisses to Maura's neck just to help lull her.

"You know I meant what I said." She whispers sweetly below Maura's ear.

"Hmm?" A sleepy Maura mumbles.

"I'll always want to take care of you when you're sick. I want to be here for you like this forever. And I'm going to kiss you and hold you when you're sick at the expense of me catching it because I can't go a day without kissing you." Jane reiterates from earlier before applying a light kiss to the corner of Maura's lips.

"I love you." Maura whispers in response clearly laced with hints of her exhaustion.

Jane just holds her tighter and laces her fingers through Maura's hand. When she hears calm breathing she's sure Maura is asleep.

"I hope you realize that I do want to have kids with you. I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. But you're going to be a way better mother to our children than me. I know that for a fact." Jane whispers softly to a sleeping Maura.

She misses the gentle smile etched on the blonde's lips after those words. Maura stops herself from turning and pressing an unexpected kiss against Jane's lips. Instead she continues to pretend to sleep as she thinks about how great of a mother Jane will be and what their future will hold.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Procrastinated and got this written pretty quickly. Christmas will be in two parts so there is more to this chapter but I thought it translated well to end it there. I'm glad a lot of you are still reading and enjoying. Thanks for the reviews and thanks for my Beta.**

**Enjoy and review if you please :D**

* * *

It was a solid week of sniffling, hot soup, infinite boxes of tissues and warm blankets before the two women were feeling better. Jane's symptoms had occurred two days after Maura's and then the sick had to take care of the sick until Angela came and took mercy on the two of them.

Jane didn't necessarily mind as she got to spend most of the day in bed with her lover and since she was sick too, she was able to convince Maura to allow her to kiss her as much as she wanted. But when they got better it was great to be back in routine. Maura dragging Jane out of bed, work and infinite attempts to sneak down to the lab, either the Robber or dinner together, possibly some television at home and then bed.

Two weeks later and Jane arrives home later than usual. They took separate cars into work that morning knowing that Jane would have to stay late and catch up on paperwork and go through evidence with Frankie and Frost. Maura would have stayed and waited, maybe even tried to help but Jane convinced her to take another car. She didn't want to keep her waiting when she didn't have to.

It's well past nightfall when she walks through the door exhausted. She expects to find Maura in the room lying in bed but instead she's in the kitchen cleaning.

"Why are you up and cleaning?" Jane wonders while joining her in the kitchen. She looks around noticing the whole house is even more spotless than usual.

"It's almost Christmas." Maura explains while she continues to scrub the counters.

"Yeah." Jane answers nonchalantly. She knows Christmas is only two days away. She's a homicide detective and for a season so full of joy and cheer it's one filled with multiple murders this year. And on top of being insanely busy, she also had to be incredibly sneaky to get away from Maura and buy her gift. She couldn't be more excited to have Christmas Eve and Christmas off this year.

"Jane, I want the house to be neat." Maura stresses.

"Okay, I just feel like you're going a little overboard. I thought we were going to clean tomorrow. Why are you up so late and doing it without me?" Jane wonders. She figured they'd do the same thing they did for Thanksgiving.

"This is different. My mother is coming and so are Julia's parents."

"Julia's parents?" Jane questions while trying to stop Maura's working on the counter. "Okay look just take a breath and stop overreacting. The house already looks wonderful. You did the same thing the first time your mother visited and she didn't even seem to mind the house."

"Jane, these are the Fields I'm talking about. They're some of the most successful lawyers in Boston. We have to make a good impression." Maura argues, finally turning to face her.

Jane can't help but smile looking back at memories of a similarly panic stricken Maura when Constance had visited for the first time. But when she notices the frown on Maura's face, her smirk drops just as quickly as it began. She cups a pale cheek and places a soft calming kiss to Maura's lips. "We have a wonderful home and it's already spotless despite how messy I am." She attempts to joke but Maura still continues to frown. "You're stressing too much. The house looks wonderful. Ma will be here tomorrow to help with the cooking and if she thinks the house is a mess I will personally go through and clean it by myself. Besides it's not you who needs to impress them, it's Frankie. So please stop worrying so much before you make me fear that you chose the wrong dark haired female to love and you're trying to impress her parents."

That brings a smile out of Maura who pulls Jane into a deep kiss. "I promise I chose the perfect 'dark haired female to love.'" She reassures her.

"Good, you had me worried for a moment." Jane continues to play along before wrapping her arms around Maura's shoulders and pressing her into the counter. "Since you're not going to stress anymore, how about you show me how much you love this perfect dark haired female."

"Jane, I'm not going to stop cleaning just so I can sleep with you." Maura admonishes.

"A girl can try." She says through a chuckle before pecking the blonde's lips and grabbing underneath Maura's thighs and picking her up onto the counter.

"Jane, I just cleaned this counter." Maura scolds her but makes no move to hop down.

"Well now it has a very delectable butt sitting on it." She says while wrapping her arms around Maura's waist and stepping between her legs. She kisses Maura deeply and places a few pecks on her lips before pulling away and resting their foreheads together. "You know you don't have to do everything all by yourself right?" She asks seriously.

"I don't do everything by myself." She protests.

"You came home from work and went OCD on the house without even asking for my help."

"Obsessive compulsive disorder is an anxiety disorder and it can be very serious, Jane. I don't have compulsions to clean or perform repeated tasks I just-"

"Maura, I was exaggerating." She interrupts. "I just want you to rely on me. We both work hard. I want us to be equal and work together when it comes to our household."

"I didn't think it would be a big deal. I found out about Julia's parent coming for Christmas dinner and I knew you were working late so I figured I'd clean." Maura explains.

Jane tilts Maura's chin up and places a gentle kiss to her lips to reassure her. She doesn't want Maura to thinks she's upset but she also doesn't want to treat Maura like a housewife. She just wants them to work together because they each work equally as hard and even worse, she knows how anxious Maura gets about company.

"It's not a big deal baby, but I know how badly you stress about this stuff. I know Constance is coming and the Fields are coming but you worry too much. We should just be ourselves. And I wanted to help, but now you've done everything and made me feel like a bum." She tries to explain to Maura.

"I just want everything to be perfect."

"Maura, it's not going to be." Jane states truthfully. She wishes she hadn't said it so bluntly when she sees the inevitable pout forming on Maura's face. "There are going to be some awkward moments, some mistakes, maybe even a few slips of the tongue. There are going to be some times when people are uncomfortable and even worse there will be times when Frankie will be sure he's blown the first impression. But that's how these things go and that's what makes life interesting. If everything went perfectly, well, we wouldn't have had half the adventures we've had."

"This is my first Christmas with a huge gathering." Maura says.

Jane tightens her hold on her girlfriend and smiles brightly, realizing Maura is just nervous about spending a major holiday with everyone. "I know Maur. But it's just family and family doesn't judge. It's the holidays so you should be calm and enjoy it while we spend time with our families."

"I'll try to relax Jane, but it's important to me that everyone is happy."

It's something Jane loves about Maura. She probably doesn't even realize how wonderful and unselfish she is, but it makes Jane love her even more, especially in that instant. Maura is perfect, Jane's sure of it. "I love you so much." She voices, kissing Maura soundly before she can respond. When she pulls back she's sure she has left Maura completely breathless. "Ask me for help though please. I want to be there for you and I want us to work together as a couple."

"Okay I will. We have to get up early; your mom is going to be here to start the cooking. But maybe you can help us in the kitchen?" Maura asks.

"Gladly." Jane answers with a smile. "Let's get some sleep then. This week has been extremely exhausting and I just wanna get tons of sleep with my extremely irresistible girlfriend before the holiday chores hit us tomorrow."

"Just sleep though right? Because I'm worried I may just be too irresistible for you." Maura jokes earning a light laugh from the detective.

"You're definitely getting the hang of jokes Maur, but no promises will be made." Jane says before grabbing Maura's butt and pulling her off the counter.

Maura squeals and wraps her legs around her waist as Jane carries her off towards their bedroom.

* * *

An hour later, they're lying in bed together naked. Maura's lying half over Jane with her head tucked neatly in the crook of Jane's neck. Their breathing has calmed and they're just enjoying the silence between each other. Maura occasionally plants soft kisses to Jane's neck, smiling each time knowing that Jane always gets her into bed so easily. It's not a bad thing though. She knows sex is a healthy part of a relationship and their sex life has definitely been very healthy.

"I bet you're feeling quite accomplished." Maura mumbles into her neck.

"You could say that." Jane laughs while wrapping her arms around Maura and rolling the two of them so she's on top.

"You're lucky you're irresistible too." Maura smiles from below.

Jane smirks smugly before kissing Maura. "We should get some sleep." She breathes in between kisses.

"I remember hearing that an hour ago." Maura jabs.

"Well now I'm serious since someone wore me out." Jane chuckles. "Now who's feeling accomplished?" She jokes after noting the smug smirk on Maura's lips.

Maura just tugs her back down for another kiss. "I love you." She murmurs without pulling her lips away.

Jane remains perfectly content having a small make out session with Maura but pulls away shortly. "We really should get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day." She warns Maura before rolling off of her and pulling her close.

Maura pecks her cheek before laying her head on Jane's chest content in listening to her long healed heartbeat until she falls asleep.

* * *

Jane manages to wake up before Maura the next day and turns off the alarm to allow her girlfriend to sleep in. She gently kisses Maura's temple before pulling the covers more snugly around her bare body.

She unlocks the front door and texts her mother to walk in when she gets there so the doorbell doesn't wake Maura.

After getting dressed she pulls out Maura's Christmas gift from the hiding place she found for it. She wraps it as quickly and nicely as she can in the guest bedroom for fear of Maura waking up. As soon as she puts the last piece of tape on it she hears the front door open and close.

She rushes out to greet her mother after placing the gift under the tree Maura and her decorated over a week ago.

"Why is Maura still sleeping Jane? Is she sick again? We're supposed to start cooking for Christmas dinner." Angela asks as soon as she sees her daughter

"No. I wanted to allow her to sleep in since she does so much. I figured I'd help you cook." She explains while heading into the kitchen with her mother.

Angela just stares at her daughter open mouthed. In all the years she's been preparing dinners for the family, never once has Jane willingly offered to help. She always wanted to play with the boys in the front yard or watch some sort of sports game on TV. Now she's gotten up early on her day off to willingly help. Angela would be lying if she said she didn't thank the heavens every day for Maura Isles.

"So what needs to be done first?" Jane asks, ignoring her mother's bewildered look.

"Well I guess you can start on the potatoes." Angela instructs before putting on her apron and preparing the kitchen.

"Ma, I _can _cook. I don't know why you always put me on peeling potatoes." Jane groans while pulling out the sack and the peeler.

"Because it's a simple task and I don't have to worry about watching you to make sure you do it right. You should have learned from me instead of taking classes." Angela admonishes.

"How did you know?" Jane questions.

"I know all, Jane." She answers vaguely noticing the eye-roll Jane gives her.

They remain cooking in the kitchen for a few hours, Angela allowing Jane to move on to more intensive tasks than potato peeling after she finished.

"Maura's probably going to be waking up soon." Jane notes while looking at the clock and seeing it's around the time Maura usually wakes on their day off.

"How about I go out and grab us some breakfast?" Angela suggests.

"That sounds great." Jane approves.

"Alright, bagels and coffee sound good?" Angela asks.

"That's fine."

"I'll be back in twenty." She says while grabbing her things.

Not long after, Jane hears light footfalls leading into the kitchen. She turns to find Maura in her robe, wiping a tired eye.

"Good morning." Jane says through a smile while admiring her girlfriend's beauty even after just waking up.

"Good morning." Maura mimics before pressing a quick peck to Jane's lips.

Jane pulls her closer and kisses her more firmly. "You taste like toothpaste." She notes after releasing Maura's lips.

Maura hums a response before hugging her girlfriend closer. "You've been cooking? Why didn't you wake me?"

"I wanted you to get some sleep. You deserve it. Did you sleep well?" She asks, stroking the disheveled hair out of Maura's face.

"Not as great as I do with you." She answers while coaxing Jane into another kiss and deepens it immediately. She nibbles the bottom of Jane's lip briefly before pulling back.

"Ma went to go get us some food." She tells the blonde after catching her breath.

"Maybe I should shower before she comes back." She says while indicating her current state of dress.

"I'm not complaining." Jane comments while playfully grabbing Maura's butt pulling a gasp and giggle from her.

"Of course you aren't." Maura laughs. "I'll be out in a bit." She pulls out of the embrace and prepares to walk away only to be pulled back into a brief kiss by Jane. "You're extra affectionate this morning. What's gotten into you?" She asks.

"I just love you." Jane shrugs.

"I love you too." Maura smiles before pecking Jane's lips one final time.

"You should get in the shower before I end up joining you." Jane warns.

"That would be very naughty of you. Your mother will be back any minute." Maura says before turning to leave.

Jane chuckles while watching the retreating form of her girlfriend exit the room; a sight she knows she'll never get tired of.

A few minutes later Angela walks in with their food.

"Maura just woke up. She's taking a shower." Jane informs her while taking the food and setting it on the counter.

"I was thinking in the car. Jane, I'd like to talk to you about something." Angela says hesitantly.

"Okay. What about?" She questions.

"Maura. I realize how happy she makes you. I don't think you could have found anyone better for yourself Janie." She begins.

"Is there a 'but' coming or something?" Jane wonders.

"No. I just want to know if you've been thinking about the next step in your relationship." Angela asks.

"Ma, I told you not to pester about marriage right now." Jane whines.

"I'm not pestering. I'm asking." She amends.

"Okay, well I guess I've thought about it. But I know it's way too soon." She says truthfully while hiding her face from her mother's.

"I know it's only been a few months Jane. But you guys have loved each other so long."

"It's not about being unsure. Ma. I'm not unsure about it. I just want to wait the appropriate amount of time." Jane tells her.

"So you want to marry her?" Angela asks smiling happily.

"Of course I do." Jane assures her.

"Great." Angela declares before pulling out a small black velvet box.

"Ma!" Jane shouts. "I didn't mean now." She panics knowing instantly what lies within the box.

"No. I know." Angela tries to calm her down. "I just wanted to give this now for whenever you're ready. I was going to give it to you tomorrow but I thought now would be better."

"Ma, I don't know-"

"It was your grandmother's engagement ring. She gave it to me to give to one of you when you were ready." She notes while opening the box and showing Jane the simple ring. It's antiqued with a small diamond. Despite its simplicity it's gorgeous.

"Ma, are you sure?" Jane asks despite being stunned.

"I just want you to have it for when you're ready." Angela explains while holding the box out to Jane.

Jane takes it haphazardly and stares at it for a few seconds. Angela can't help but smile at her daughter's expression. Seconds later she's enveloped in a hug by Jane. "Thank you." She says in her ear.

"You're welcome." Angela answers when they end their embrace. "I love you Janie."

"I love you too, Ma." Jane replies. She hears footsteps in the hall and quickly pockets the ring.

"Good morning Angela." Maura says as soon as she enters the kitchen. "Sorry I haven't been in here helping. Jane thought it would be a good idea to shut off my alarm and let me sleep in." She says through a smile before kissing Jane appreciatively on the cheek.

Angela stares happily at the couple and knows she did the right thing.

In that moment the ring feels so much heavier in Jane's pocket. Is she ready to ask Maura to marry her yet?


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: All I can say is sorry again. I'd love to say it was all school's fault but a lot of other stuff has been going on in my life right now and it put writing on the backburner for a while. There are only a few more chapters and an epilogue left before this story is over. Thank you for my beta for reviewing my chapters. Thank you to all my readers and all your wonderful reviews, they truly keep me going.**

**Enjoy and review if you please.**

* * *

The rest of the day was spent cooking and baking until Angela kicked the two of them out while she prepared a dinner for them.

Jane snuck away for a brief moment earlier in the day to hide the ring. She stared at it for damn near ten minutes before tucking it away, taking a deep breath and rejoining them in the kitchen.

Angela set out their meal and left the two of them to eat. She promised to be back in the morning to finish everything before everyone else showed up.

Jane knew what her mother was doing by preparing dinner for the two of them. She'd have been appreciative, but she suspected her mother of having ulterior motives. She's so confused as to why her mother decided to give her the ring now.

She remains terse as her mind races during their meal. Maura notices Jane's behavior but decides not to address it.

It's nightfall when Jane and Maura are cuddled on the couch watching Christmas movies together. Jane is lying against the armrest with Maura lying on top of her between her legs. She has her head resting on Jane's shoulder, bundling tightly in a blanket and tangling her feet with Jane's.

Jane remains in her own head throughout the movie.

_Shouldn't it go to Frankie? He's the eldest boy. Are we even ready for this? I want to marry Maura. I'm sure of it. But I just think we should wait. I'm definitely not ready to ask. How should I even ask? Maura deserves more than just me asking at dinner._

Maura threads her hand with Jane's when she notices Jane isn't even paying attention to the television.

Jane looks down at her, kisses her temple and smiles limply before looking back at the TV blankly.

"Jane?" Maura asks quietly.

"Huh?"

"Is everything okay?" She questions while squeezing Jane's hand.

"Yeah." Jane answers a little too quickly.

"Are you sure? You've been acting differently since your mom came back with breakfast this morning." Maura points out sadly.

"Yeah, Maura I'm sorry. I'm fine." Jane says again.

Maura stares at her for a moment and shakes her head. "I know you're lying to me. I can see it in your face."

"Maura why do you have to do that to me? I don't like you reading me." Jane says seriously.

"The last time I ignored your expressions you were lying to me about Paddy Doyle." Maura states truthfully.

Jane grimaces at that. She knows Maura is right, but she can't really tell Maura what's on her mind. She also doesn't want to lie to her. If she really tried she knows she could pull it off and make herself unreadable to Maura, but she promised her she wouldn't lie to her again. So she decides on trying something and hoping Maura can just trust her.

"Maura I really am fine, I've just been thinking a lot and it's had me distracted." Jane says.

"Thinking about what?" Maura asks.

"I want to tell you Maura. You've got to believe me when I say it's nothing bad and it's nothing that's a huge secret or something. My mother and I talked this morning and she brought something to my attention. It's had me thinking. But I can't tell you and I just need you to trust me. I don't want to lie to you." She explains.

Maura contemplates what she's saying a moment before she nods softly. "I don't want to just let this go, but I trust you."

Jane kisses her softly and smiles. "I promise everything is fine okay? It's nothing to worry about."

"Are you going to keep being incredibly closed off from me?" Maura questions.

"No. I'm done thinking I've figured everything out." Jane promises while squeezing Maura's torso gently.

"Good." Maura answers. "You haven't said much all day."

"I'm sorry I've just been in my own head." Jane apologizes.

Maura nods her head in agreement before laying her head back down on Jane's shoulder and looking back to the movie. She finds comfort in Jane's renewed interest in the movie and her suddenly very active hands.

After that act of trust she's pretty sure she has decided. She has her mind made up when it comes to marriage. She's ready. She and Maura have been through so much but despite it all they trust each other. They enjoy the company of each other so much and Maura is her balance. Maura has changed her so much over the years of their friendship and even more so now that they're together. She wants to promise Maura forever because she wants forever with Maura. She wants the kids, the bickering, the mess, everything that comes with that and so much more. And when it comes to Maura, the sooner the better.

She has a ring. She's ready. She just needs to figure out how she wants to ask. Maura deserves a grand proposal. She deserves everything.

Suddenly Maura lifts her head and pulls Jane's lips within her own. She doesn't ask for permission before pushing her tongue between Jane's teeth and claiming her mouth. She doesn't pull back until she hears a satisfied moan from Jane.

"It's Christmas." Maura notes while nodding over towards the clock which reads 12:03 a.m.

"Have I ever told you how much I love Christmas?" Jane smirks.

"Just wait till you get your gift later." Maura says lowly.

"God, Maur." Jane groans. "Can't I have it now?"

"Nope." Maura says finally.

"What about a preview?" Jane presses.

"What makes you think it's anything that can be previewed?" Maura questions.

"Wishful thinking." Jane answers before pulling Maura down for another kiss.

Maura playfully draws back and smirks until Jane pulls her down again and she gives in. They don't move to the bedroom but they don't go back to watching the movie either.

* * *

Jane's awoken by gentle kisses to her neck and Maura's hand removing her hair from her face. She opens her eyes to see her girlfriend still curled into her on the couch with her head hovering above her own. It makes the pain in her back seem completely worth it.

"Good morning." Maura chirps happily.

"Morning." Jane rasps out in awe of how awake Maura is. It always amazes her how much of a morning person Maura is compared to her. But then again, she and Maura are so different and that's what makes them great for each other.

"Everyone is going to be here soon." Maura explains sweetly.

"Why do we have to be the hosts? I'm perfectly content in staying like this all Christmas day." Jane protests while burying her face in Maura's hair. She's glad that Maura is relatively calm despite the company they'll be having today. She just wishes she'd be lazy enough to waste a little more time with Jane on the couch.

Maura ignores her and climbs off of the couch before leaning down and attempting to pull Jane up. "Come on. We need to shower and set up."

Jane opens one eye at the mention of shower and smirks. "We'll save time if we shower together." She suggests.

"You and I both know that's a lie." Maura denies before heading off towards the bedroom with a little sashay to her hips.

Jane takes that as an inconclusive answer and follows her into the bedroom.

"If we shower together there will be no funny business." Maura demands over her shoulder before continuing into the master bathroom.

"Fine." Jane agrees before joining her.

An hour later and they're showered, dried and dressed. Maura is in the kitchen preparing for what's left of the cooking that needs to be done while she waits for Angela to arrive and help. Jane sits on the couch not watching whatever Christmas movie is currently on. She can't help being a little grumpy about Maura denying her this morning. But now she's in her own mind, thinking again about marrying Maura Isles.

_When should I ask? How should I ask? Should I ask her parents first?_

"Are you not going to help me today?" Maura interrupts her thoughts from the kitchen.

"No." Jane growls from the couch feigning anger.

"Jane, you're being childish." Maura scolds.

"So." Jane answers shortly.

Maura just laughs at her attitude and continues to pull out ingredients and food by herself. When everything is in place and Angela still hasn't arrived she decides to apologize to Jane even though there isn't anything really to be sorry for.

"Are you going to be grumpy all day?" Maura questions while taking a seat next to her on the sofa.

"I'm not grumpy." Jane protests.

"It's Christmas, Jane. Don't be a Grinch."

"Did you just call me a Grinch?" Jane asks feigning hurt.

Maura shrugs and smirks. "It fits."

"It doesn't" Jane denies again. In reality she stopped being upset as soon as her mind went back to the whole marriage thing. Because she knows she's being childish and she knows her and Maura's sex life is anything but lacking. But now she just wants to give Maura a hard time.

Maura just closes the distance between the two of them and pecks Jane on the cheek. "It does." She whispers in Jane's ear before kissing just below it.

"Maura." Jane groans. "You're not helping." And now the frustration is back. Sometimes she doesn't understand what it is about Maura. She just seems to want her all the time.

"Why not?" She asks sweetly.

"You know what you're doing."

"What am I doing? I'm just trying to apologize." Maura continues to toy with her as she presses feather light kisses down her neck before landing on that spot she knows will turn Jane into putty.

"Maura." Jane whimpers. She whimpers! And she doesn't even care because it's Maura who is causing it.

Maura can't help herself. She started out trying to mess with Jane just as she had been doing to her by acting as if she were angry. Now she's completely turned on by her ability to turn Jane into mush. She's never heard Jane say her name in such a tone and now she just wants to hear it even more.

The next thing Jane knows, Maura is straddling her lap and her lips are on hers. She allows herself to succumb only for a minute before she regains her wits.

"Maura." She groans while Maura uses the opportunity to claim Jane's mouth with her tongue. And again Jane gives in and fights to regain the ability to move, let alone speak.

"Maur." Jane says stronger now as she pushes her back gently. "My mom is going to be here soon." She realizes now she is the one stopping them from going any further and can't help but smile at how the tables have turned. She and Maura are really turning into a bunch of pre-pubescent boys.

Maura just sighs and presses her forehead against Jane's. "I know."

"You know I wasn't really mad at you?" Jane admits while allowing the blonde to cool down and catch her breath.

"I know that too." Maura tells her before giving her a light peck on the cheek and crawling off of her lap. "I want to give you your Christmas present."

"Now?" Jane asks confused. "Don't you want to wait until everyone gets here?"

"No. I want to do it while we are alone. I don't want anyone around to spoil it, especially not Frankie." Maura explains to her.

"Why would Frankie spoil it?" Jane wonders.

"He won't really. I just want to focus on you and only you." Maura elaborates.

Jane can't help to wonder how big of a gift this is that Maura is giving her.

_Is she proposing to me? No, Maura wouldn't. Would she? She wants to exchange alone._

Her thoughts are interrupted by Maura sitting back next to her with her hands behind her back.

Now she knows the gift is small and she can't help but gulp in fear that there is a ring behind Maura's back.

Her fears are quelled however when Maura pulls out an envelope and she lets out a light breath of relief.

Maura sees the change in Jane's expression when she pulls the envelope from behind her back. "Is something wrong?"

"No. I'm fine." Jane promises her. "I just thought. Nothing, I'm fine."

"Just because it's just an envelope doesn't mean your gift isn't going to be good." Maura tells her.

Jane realizes she's given Maura the wrong idea and now she just feels awful because she knows anything Maura gives her will be amazing just because it's from Maura. But also she would be happy with nothing from her, because ultimately Maura is the best thing that happened to her so her Christmas is already fulfilled. She decides rather than thinking about it she should tell Maura these things.

She moves forward and cups Maura's cheeks noting how her face has lost much of the excitement it had before. "Maura I'm sorry." She leans in and plants a gentle reassuring kiss to Maura's lips. "I didn't mean to make you think I wasn't excited about your gift. I was worried it might have been something else. But it's not what I thought it was and I'm excited to see it. I'll love anything you got me even if you got me nothing. You're all I really want for Christmas and I have you."

Maura's smile returns and Jane breaths an air of relief before leaning in for another kiss before Maura stops her. "What did you think I got you that had you worried?"

"Nothing important." She lies. She really doesn't think now is the time for a conversation about marriage, especially if it was never on Maura's mind.

She really wants to question it. She can see the hesitation in Jane's face when she says those words. But Maura can also see an expression in Jane's face pleading her not to question it. So she holds the envelope out to Jane and beams happily. "Merry Christmas."

Jane takes the envelope and gives Maura a brief smile before tearing it open.

Maura's happy she decided to give Jane her gift alone. She knows she never would have really been able to see the expression on Jane's face as she realizes what's inside. She wouldn't be able to hear Jane scream "Maura, no way!" And she definitely wouldn't have been able to feel Jane's lips upon hers, hard and passionately before she could respond.

She gives in instantly when Jane's tongue demands entrance because this is what she wanted. She remembers when she sent Jane to racing school for her birthday. She remembers the excitement and the bone crushing hug Jane gave her. She remembers wishing for more. But Jane's family had been there and they weren't even together. So this time she wanted to be alone when she gave Jane her gift. And so she doesn't stop Jane but instead revels in the kiss that has now softened incredibly as she is pushed onto her back.

Jane pulls back and places several gentle kisses on Maura's lips before capturing them again. She feels Maura's lips lift into a telltale smile. Jane takes the opportunity to pull her bottom lip between her own and sucks on it gently before resting her forehead against Maura's, pressing her nose to hers and releasing her lip with a pop.

"Thank you Maura. This must have cost a fortune." Jane breathes.

"It was worth it. I figured I can go with you to most of the games and if I can't, Frankie will be happy to join in my place." She explains.

"That's why you didn't want Frankie here when I opened it." Jane laughs. Frankie would have flipped just as much as she did. Jane gets up and heads to the tree to grab the gift she has for Maura. "I want to give you mine too. Chances are it won't top Red Sox season tickets." She says while taking a seat next to Maura with a box in her hands and two of her own envelopes.

She hands the box first to Maura and encourages her to open.

She gently removes the paper and Jane fidgets for what seems like 20 minutes. "Babe, you can rip the paper." Jane presses.

Maura ignores her and eventually the box is unwrapped with the paper completely intact. She can't help but smile at that. It's just such a Maura thing to do.

When Maura finally opens the box and looks inside she frowns and Jane just smiles dumbly. Maura pulls out a purple Raven and just stares at Jane with a questioning look.

Jane laughs. Yeah it wasn't such a great idea to give her girlfriend the mascot of her favorite team's rival. But it has some meaning in the long run.

"Jane, am I missing something?" Maura asks confused.

"Nope." Jane says inching closer and petting the toy. "You said you liked the Ravens right?"

Maura doesn't answer her. She just stares between her and the stuffed toy before Jane breaks out into even greater laughter.

"Oh Maura. I'm sorry. It was a joke." She says handing her girlfriend the first envelope.

She's a little more hesitant as she opens this gift. When she pulls out two plane tickets she can't help but be even more confused. "We're going to Baltimore? For a week?"

Jane nods and moves closer. "An entire week in Baltimore, Maryland. In early March, just you and me and…" she trails off while handing Maura the last envelope.

Maura opens this one a little more quickly hoping it solves the mystery. She reads the papers within and once Jane sees a smile pull at her lips she continues her sentence.

"Hundreds of the nation's and world's greatest pathologists in once place."

Maura just continues to read the itinerary and she can't help but feel a little self-conscious. Maura's gift to her was amazing. She's pretty sure she hasn't even come close to topping it.

"I'm sorry. I know it's lame, especially with the whole Ravens joke. I just thought it was something you would enjoy." Jane explains.

"Don't be sorry Jane." Maura tells her before moving closer to her. "I love it."

"You do?" Jane asks hopefully.

"I can't lie. I really do love it. I may want to burn the Ravens mascot in the fireplace while we curl up together, but I'm so happy." Maura promises her before closing the gap between them to kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you too. Merry Christmas, babe." Jane answers back before closing the distance again.

Things get heated quickly again before the hot breath of Maura's mouth is against her ear. "I have one more present for you after everyone leaves." She husks making Jane shiver before diving into another deep kiss.

"Hello." They hear a familiar voice entering the living room and breaking them apart. "I see you two aren't getting much cooking done."

"Angela, hi." Maura greets awkwardly. "We were just waiting for you."

"So I see." Angela laughs.

"I'm just going to take this stuff to our room and come back out to help." Maura explains, gesturing to their gifts.

Jane nods before following her mom into the kitchen.

"You already exchanged gifts?" Angela asks her.

"Yeah. We wanted to do it alone." She tells her.

"I didn't see a ring. Have you given it any thought?"

"You told me you wouldn't rush me." Jane responds.

"I'm just asking." Angela defends.

"I'm going to ask her Ma. When the time is right." She says finally before Maura returns and the three of them finish prepping Christmas dinner and the table.

* * *

Around the time everyone starts showing up, Maura is a mess. Jane had to consider physically restraining her to stop her last minute attempts to clean and organize everything. Frankie, Julia, Tommy and the baby are sitting together in the living room talking and briefly paying attention to _A Christmas Story, _a family tradition for the Rizzoli's. Korsak is in the kitchen helping Angela lay out all the food, while Maura is panicking and rearranging the table.

"Maura. Calm down." Jane tries to reassure her before pulling her away from the perfectly organized dining room table.

Maura is about to protest when the doorbell rings and panic fills her face.

"I'll get it Maur. Just take a deep breath. It's Christmas and everything is going to be cheery and happy." She promises her before heading to the door.

She opens it to find Maura's mother standing happily on the other side.

"Constance. I'm glad you could make it." Jane greets her. To her surprise, Constance doesn't kiss her on the cheek or shake her hand or give her any of those pleasantries she normally does. She steps forward and hugs Jane for a brief moment.

"I wouldn't miss it. I have some gifts in the car if you'd like to help me bring them in." She explains.

"No problem. Would you like to come in and see Maura first? She's in one of those panic moods and she'd probably be calmer if she knew you were here." Jane suggests.

"Absolutely." She nods before following Jane in to see her daughter.

"Mom." Maura acknowledges when she sees Constance and Jane entering.

"Hello dear." Constance greets before wrapping her in a hug similar to Jane's.

Maura accepts the hug hesitantly and stares at Jane questioningly when they part.

"How are you Maura?" She asks her daughter.

"I'm wonderful. I'm glad you could come. Hopefully one day Daddy can visit. He's still yet to meet Jane. How is he?" Maura answers.

"You know your father, working as always. We'll just have to bring Jane to him, but I've told him a lot about her and he seems pleased." Constance tells her while giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Jane is going to help me bring in the gifts from the car and then we will talk more."

After sending Jane a quick glance she nods and watches the two of them head back outside.

"I was hoping for a white Christmas this year. The snow is one of my favorite things about Boston." Constance strikes up while the two of them walk to her car.

"Yeah. Maura and I just got over pretty awful colds so we are kind of glad it hasn't been as freezing as it was in the first few days of the month." Jane replies casually.

When they reach the car Constance stops Jane from grabbing anything. "I'd like to talk to you first, Jane."

She panics as hundreds of thoughts flash through her head. "Okay." She confirms strongly though.

Constance reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out a small box.

_You've got to be kidding me._ She thinks as soon as she sees it.

"Constance I-"

"Hear me out, Jane." She interrupts.

Once Jane nods she continues. "Maura's father got me a ring when we first got engaged. This was before he had any real money and it was a small little thing. But I cherished it and I still cherish it. I was proud to wear it even after his business took off. I realize he's always busy and Maura sees him even less than she sees me. And I also realize you've never met him. Both he and I want that to change that, but I know I can't make any promises as to when that will be."

Jane nods, or at least she thinks she does because honestly she can't really move. _This can't be happening twice within less than 24 hours._

"Anyways, a few years after he made a name for himself he bought me a new ring, one that fit the new status of our wealth. It was gorgeous Jane, but you see, I didn't care for it as much as I care for this one." She says holding her left hand up to show her the modest ring on her finger. "I may not seem like it sometimes, I know I can come off as pretentious, but I'm nostalgic and I loved my original ring so much I couldn't seem to trade it."

She gulps because she's pretty sure there is a ring worth more than everything she owns in that box and she's scared because she's pretty sure she knows where Constance is going with her speech.

"I don't want to pressure you. I know it's soon, but I also know how much you love my daughter and I know how much she loves you. I don't know when we'll see each other again but I want to give you and Maura something worthwhile. I want to give you the ring Maura's father gave me after all those years of working to make something of himself. Coincidently he gave me this one on the same day we adopted Maura just one year earlier. I want you to have it now, we both do. And we both approve of you marrying Maura whenever you're ready." Constance finished while opening the box and handing the ring box over to Jane.

She stares down now at the largest rock she's ever seen. She's pretty sure it's worth more than her entire salary she's made since meeting Maura. "Constance I can't accept this." Jane tries to deny but Constance won't give in.

"It's yours Jane, well Maura's I suppose, but I'm not taking it back." She pushes.

"I could never afford this. I can't take it."

"You can. It's for Maura, from both of us. We both want you to have it and we want you to marry our daughter. You're good for her." Constance tells her.

"It's her who is good for me. Your daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but Constance I really can't-"

"I don't want to hear it anymore." She interrupts. "It's settled. Money is no obligation. We should head inside before things get suspicious." Constance finalizes before grabbing a majority of the gifts and heading towards the house.

Jane stares down at the ring one more time before closing the box and taking a huge breath. She's just been given two engagement rings within 24 hours of each other. If that's not a sign she doesn't know what is. But whose ring does she use to propose with? The modest family heirloom or the extravagant, expensive symbol of Isle's wealth that's never even been worn? She can't really bare to disappoint either by returning a ring.

_Fuck the last thing I needed when it came to proposing to Maura was another decision to make._

She pockets the ring, grabs the last few gifts and heads inside. After they're all under the tree she goes to hide this ring too before Maura stops her. She can tell by Maura's curious stare that Maura knows something is up.

_Act natural before you give it away. _She scolds herself though now she's sure her face resembles all the thinking she's doing.

"Is everything okay Jane?" Maura asks, stepping closer to wrap her arms around Jane's neck in the hallway.

She pulls it together to answer with a tight "everything's great" before giving Maura's hips a quick squeeze. Internally she's panicking.

_She knows the ring is on me. What if she feels my pockets? This is very dangerous._

"Why were you and my mom gone so long?" She wonders.

"No reason. Just talking." It's easier to get out since it's not a lie. It's just not specific. She realizes that it's becoming harder and harder to hide anything from Maura.

Maura thinks a moment before she hears Angela calling her. She nods an approval of Jane's answer before leaving her to see what Angela wants.

Jane breathes a sigh of relieve before heading off to hide the ring as quickly as possible before heading back to the living room. She sees Constance playing with the baby while she talks with her brothers and Julia. It's intriguing to her how someone could change so much.

The doorbell rings and the dynamic in the whole house changes. She could hear a pin drop if she wanted. She can see the panic in Frankie's face, Julia tightly gripping his hand in reassurance. Maura looks just as panicked for fear of not fitting up to standard as always.

One day she hopes she can change that about her. She's pretty sure Maura is perfect and any thought otherwise is ludicrous.

She sees her mother frozen in the kitchen wondering what to do. Korsak and Constance only seemed fazed by the sudden silence within the room.

Jane makes the first move to the door as everyone remains frozen. She takes a quick breath before opening the door to find Mr. and Mrs. Fields on the other side.

She immediately throws on a smile and sticks out a hand. "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Fields. I'm Jane Rizzoli, Frankie's sister and Julia's friend. It's so great to finally meet you."

The bright smile on Mrs. Fields' face and the firm handshake which she matches from Mr. Fields puts her at even more ease than she was at before.

Seconds later a stuttering Frankie is by her side introducing himself. His introduction goes considerably worse than everyone else's as he stutters out Fran-Francesco I mean Francisco Rizzoli, messing up the only name he's had his entire 30 years of life. Jane chuckles inwardly at that. She knows she's in for a fun holiday that will effectively get her mind off the decisions that need to be made.

The rest of the holiday goes a lot better. Frankie's nervousness eventually subsides but Jane is pretty sure it's thanks to Maura's calming politeness and ease when it comes to dealing with people like the Fields. They're not pretentious per say, just well, yeah they're pretentious.

They ask about Frankie's education, his job, his intentions with Julia and even some political views. He stutters them out at first but eventually he manages to clear his throat of the hesitancy. His voice becomes stronger, especially when he talks about Julia. Jane can't help to be a little proud of her brother in handling the situation.

They manage not to judge Frankie too much on his career which saves everyone a breath of relief. It's obvious Julia is clasping his hand under the table to calm him the whole night. He must be doing something right since they asked him to refer to them as George and Lucy rather than by Mr. and Mrs. Fields.

Maura just floats around and handles everything with ease. She keeps them happy and their glasses full.

The only one not really following the air of tightness around the table is Tommy who eagerly feeds his son some mash potatoes at the other end of the table and tries to stay out of it. Angela tries to pick up new topics of conversation along with Maura and it's hard not to be thankful for them.

Jane notices Constance's watchful eye on her all night. It worries her a little bit. Yes she's been given Maura's parents' blessings without asking but she can't quite get over a weird feeling she gets when Constance stares so eagerly. The smile that adorns her face when Maura takes Jane's hands in hers for an inconspicuous moment doesn't make it any better. She ignores it however, and continues to eat and converse.

The food is delicious of course and it's obvious everyone agrees as they chew eagerly.

It's not long before everyone is stuffed. Even the Fields have enjoyed their food as their plates are completely void of leftovers.

They crowd into the living room to talk some more and exchange gifts. Jane and Korsak head into the kitchen to begin cleaning up.

Maura tries to follow but Jane stops her. "Korsak and I have got this. Go spend time with your mom."

Maura tries to protest but Jane gives her that look telling her it's pointless and she turns back towards the living room.

After all the leftovers are packed she brings the dishes into the kitchen to help Korsak wash them.

"So I think I've got to ask you something Korsak." Jane says once she's finished bringing everything into the kitchen.

"Go for it Janie." He allows.

"Is something going on between you and Ma?" She asks right to the point.

She can see the blush on his face and then he clears his throat. "Well, I don't really know."

"Korsak would you like to date her?" She questions. "Because if you would I mean, you don't really need our permission but you have it. Just you know the whole don't break her heart rule. Frankie and I are both homicide detectives and Maura is a genius. I'm sure she will know how to not leave a trace just as well as we do."

He laughs. "Jane I'm not the reason we aren't together." He tells her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's up to her." He says before going back to scrubbing dishes and dropping the subject.

She shakes her head confused as to why her mother wouldn't want to be with Korsak. She tells herself she'll ask later when Tommy comes in to join them.

"Hey, Ma took the baby so I figured I'd come help you guys out." He says to Jane.

She throws the dish towel at him before heading off to the living room. "Good. Help Korsak."

She sits by Maura who takes her hand in hers as soon as she sits. She can feel Constance's and Angela's eyes on her but she refuses to take her eyes of George Fields, who is going on and on about boring law cases but everyone, especially Frankie, pretends to be interested. Though she's pretty sure Maura is actually interested.

* * *

It's late when all the gifts are exchanged, everyone leaves and the house is cleaned. Exhausted is an understatement when it comes to how Jane is feeling.

She tried to get her mother alone to ask her about Korsak but that proved impossible with her nephew around and decked out in the Red Sox clothing he received for Christmas. For once, Tommy wanted to help so he left Junior with Angela while he helped clean and blew any chance Jane had after Lucy and George left.

Julia and Frankie left together most likely to spend the rest of Christmas with each other. Jane heard her tell Frankie multiple times that he did well and she thinks her parents really liked him.

Constance left early and apologized several times for Maura's father's absence. Maura seemed to understand easily and kissed her mother goodbye. She made a point to tell Jane goodbye, leaving her simply with the words "good luck."

She sneaks up behind Maura in the kitchen after she closes and locks the door behind Tommy, Angela and Korsak. She snakes her arms around Maura's waist, who instantly relaxes into her, and kisses her affectionately on the cheek. "You were wonderful tonight, Maur. You saved Frankie's butt."

Maura just hums and rubs her hands along Jane's arms that are wrapped tightly around her.

"I'm exhausted and I'm sure you are too." Jane murmurs. "I say we head to bed and finish cleaning up tomorrow morning."

"I agree." Maura says softly, turning in Jane's arms and kissing her briefly on the lips. She pulls the detective towards their bedroom and shuts the door before pushing her towards the bed. "But I have one more present to give you." She whispers seductively. She pushes Jane down onto the bed in a sitting position and heads into the master bathroom.

Jane swallows thickly, completely unprepared for what's to come. All of her exhaustion disappearing.

Minutes later the bathroom light shuts off under the door and she hears the knob turn.

When Maura skimps in, her jaw drops. Maura is standing before her in nothing but a Red Sox jersey that falls just below the waist with her hair to the side. If just the notion of anything remotely sexy had her drooling this has her dying. She can't even get out a sentence as Maura saunters to her and straddles her lap.

"Merry Christmas, Jane." She whispers before kissing her for the first of many times that night.

* * *

Jane's startled awake by an unfamiliar sound outside of the room as her cop instincts kick in and she's out of bed, rushing to get dressed in seconds. She grabs her gun out of the dresser drawer and slips out of the room quietly so as not to wake and alarm Maura.

It's still dark out, she assumes around 3 a.m. She walks through the living room but notices nothing out of place until she sees an envelope on the kitchen counter. Nothing else is disturbed. If it weren't for her good eyes, she would have gone back to bed. But now she sees it sitting there. She has no idea how someone would have gotten in and out without telling her but she steps closer and sees "Jane" scribbled on top.

She wonders if she should open it. She briefly fears it may be dangerous but then decides an envelope can't be too harmful. If whoever left it wanted her dead they had easy access while she was sleeping.

She lifts it gently, feels its slight heaviness and pinches it to feel a hard object within. When she rips it open she finds a note. It simply says.

"This was the ring I gave to Hope before she found out she was pregnant with Maura. Use it wisely and take care of my daughter."

Signed at the bottom was "Good luck, P.D."

She pulls out the object within to see an engagement ring with a small emerald gem surrounded by dozens of small diamonds.

Jane takes a deep breath and almost cries. She's not ready.

An hour later after staring at the three engagement rings she now has in her possession she heads back into her room and rejoins Maura in bed.

Maura stirs gently but falls back into a deep sleep when she feels Jane's body pressed against hers.

Jane places a soft kiss to Maura's shoulder and sighs.

She's not choosing a ring from the three she has. Maura isn't going to wear an heirloom, or a ring bought with mob money. She isn't going to wear a ring that's more expensive than anything Jane has ever seen in her life. Jane's not using any of those three rings.

Frankie deserves her grandmother's ring. Hope deserves her engagement ring back just for the sake of memory and Jane could never thank Constance for the shear cost of the ring she gave her.

But Maura deserves better than all of those. She deserves a ring that Jane picked out. One that fits only her.

The rings she has may work for anyone else, but not Maura.

Jane wants to walk into a store and find a ring that screams "Maura." She wants to find that ring and buy it with the rainy day money she's been saving up. Except she's not spending it on a rainy day, she's spending it on the only sunny thing in her cloudy life. Because Maura Isles is worth it. She's worth everything Jane has to offer.

It may take more time, but Jane wants Maura to have the perfect ring. And then she wants to give it to her in the most perfect way possible. It won't happen tomorrow, but when everything is in place, she's sure it will be the perfect time.

She's going to propose to Maura Isles and make Maura her wife as soon as she can.

* * *

**A/N 2: Also the Ravens joke was played on me in real life just a different fashion. As a Steelers fan it was one of the worst jokes ever played on me, but it makes for a good story I suppose. However if I hadn't had that part written for a while I wouldn't have put it in after Ben's injury this week. It's not looking to good for my team this year with all these injuries :( but fingers crossed we can beat the Ravens without number 7.**

**I probably won't have a new chapter out by Thanksgiving so everyone have a great one :) and thanks again for reading.**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: So just a little more holiday fluff for you guys. The next chapter is going to get a little tense so be prepared. I'll post it sometime next week after my finals are over. Thanks again for all the reviews and messages. Thanks to my awesome beta who reviewed this even though she had finals to study for, you're awesome. Good luck on all your finals if you have any.**

**Enjoy and review if you please. **

* * *

For New Years Eve, Jane and Maura decide to take a break from family and just enjoy each other. Julia and Frankie were throwing a party at the A.D.A.'s apartment but Jane declined. Julia tried to fight her but when she explained that she wanted to spend the holiday with her girlfriend, she understood.

Her mother argued too, but after promising that they would have brunch the next day, she relented.

_Why is it selfish to want to spend the last day of the year with the best thing that has ever happened to you? _She wonders.

At 11:30 p.m. they're cuddled up on the couch, each with a glass of wine and the TV on Time Square for the imminent ball drop to ring in the New Year.

With Maura half sitting on her and her head tucked into her neck, Jane wouldn't have it any other way.

"Do you know there have been exactly 6 balls since the ball drop tradition began over a century ago?" Maura asks with true interest.

"No, I didn't know that." Jane answers. She kind of really loves when Maura gets immersed in little facts that nobody should ever know.

"It's true. This latest one is the largest of all six and though it's only double the size of the others, it is almost ten times heavier than the largest ball of the previous five. It's the biggest ball yet, weighing almost 12,000 pounds." Maura rambles.

Jane just bursts out laughing.

"I don't see what's so funny." Maura huffs.

"I'm sorry Maura but did you hear what you just said?" She asks while giggling some more. When Maura looks at her questioningly, she immediately stops.

Maura goes over her statements and then stops once she repeats her last sentence a few times until she gets it. "You're a child sometimes do you know that? You are the only person that would laugh at that." Maura pouts.

"Oh come on Maur. You know Frankie and Frost definitely would have laughed too." Jane insists.

"Not helping your case." Maura shrugs, the pout still on her face.

"Aw I'm sorry baby." Jane coos before leaning in and attempting to kiss Maura's pout away. "I'm sorry I laughed, I found your facts very interesting despite your wording."

Maura remains with her arms crossed. "You're just saying that."

"I'm not! I promise I love it when you go off on those little tangents." Jane swears. "You get all excited and you can see it in your eyes. You squint a little bit and your face lights up when you talk and you always hold a small hint of a smile as you speak."

Maura's demeanor softens and Jane leans in to kiss her again.

"I love you and everything inside that large brain of yours." Jane promises.

"The size of the brain does not necessarily correlate with how much information one knows. Albert Einstein's brain was average sized for the most part." Maura states.

"It was figurative Maura." Jane explains.

"Oh." Is all Maura responds.

"I still love you." Jane adds.

"I love you too." Maura says while leaning in to seal it with a kiss.

When the ball begins to drop they cuddle closer together and wait before they share their first kiss of the year. Jane however has her own plan and pulls Maura into a kiss thirty seconds before midnight. She releases her lips right before the ten second countdown.

"What-" Is all Maura gets out.

"I want to make sure you realize I'm your last kiss of this year..." Jane interrupts, and once she hears "one" on the TV she pulls Maura into another kiss, this one more passionate than the first and surprisingly longer lasting. "And the first one of this year."

Maura just smiles and cuddles back into Jane while the two of them watch the confetti drop. Jane smiles when Maura tells her that over a ton of confetti is being dropped on at least 1 million people in Time Square. It warms her heart as she pulls Maura impossibly closer.

* * *

They're on their way to have brunch with Angela the next morning. Maura looks stunning of course in one of her many designer dresses. Jane's proud that Maura has taken to wearing comfier clothes while they're at home, but she still manages to look like she's about to walk down a runway while out and about.

"Jane, are you sure you don't just want to have some mother daughter time with your mom for the day? I can drop you off." Maura insists. She's been trying to get out of it all morning. Jane wonders if it's because she knows she plans on confronting her mom about Korsak or if she truly wants Jane to be alone with her mother. Either way Jane isn't agreeing.

"Maura you're just as much her daughter as I am." Jane argues and it effectively shuts Maura up as she sees a small smile form on her face.

They walk into the diner and Angela already has a table for them. As they're sitting down, Jane notices her mom checking Maura for a ring on her finger. It takes every fiber of her being from groaning and yelling at her mother. She still hasn't returned any of the rings or even began searching for one yet. It's becoming increasingly frustrating with her mother pushing her so hard when she promised she wouldn't.

When Angela looks at her questioningly she just scowls at her and shakes her head no. Angela understands the gesture and quells her pushing. For now. She asks the two of them how their New Years Eve went and they share stories on their evenings. They're almost done with their meals when Jane finally brings up the topic she wants to discuss. Learning from her mother, she decides to just dive right into it.

"So Ma. I'm just going to come out and ask what's going on with you and Korsak." She says bluntly. Even Maura is a little surprised that she didn't even wiggle into it.

"I don't know what you mean." Angela says, playing cool.

"Oh come on Ma. I know he likes you." Jane pushes. When her mother shrugs she sighs. "Ma, why don't you want to give it a chance?"

"Janie he's one of your partners." Angela answers.

"Ma, I don't care. Korsak's a good guy; he practically taught me everything I know. Do you need my permission? I'll give it to you."

"Jane, dating, it's just not for me anymore. I've done that, I've had the kids and the marriage and I just don't think I can do it again. I've got you and Frankie to deal with and now Tommy and Junior. I wouldn't even know where to begin." She answers truthfully.

"Ma, it's no different than it has always been. He wants to take you out. You should let him. We're all grown now; we can make our own decisions. It's time for you to worry about yourself." Jane insists.

"Angela it's natural for people to date. Sex and intimacy is an important part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It's a basic human instinct. I think it's a great idea for you to get back out there and fulfill those needs. It's human." Maura explains.

"Okay Maura! I was just saying you should go on a date with Korsak, Ma. None of…._that_… needed." Jane says awkwardly causing Angela to laugh.

"I'll think about it, okay?" Angela promises.

"Great. And just so you know. All of us, we're always going to need you, Ma. But that doesn't mean we don't want you to have your own life and be happy." Jane explains.

When Angela nods her agreement the conversation is effectively over so Maura stands. "I'm going to go pay the bill."

"Maura, you don't have to pay. I got it." Angela tries to stop her.

"It's no problem Angela. My treat." She protests before heading off and leaving the two women alone.

Jane looks at her and sees her open her mouth and immediately holds up her hand. "Ma, don't."

"I just wanted to know how it was coming along. I thought you would do it last night since you wanted the night to yourself." Angela wonders.

"We did. To spend the end of the year together alone. I haven't asked yet." She says while quickly checking to make sure Maura isn't watching as she pulls out the ring and shoves it towards Angela.

"Did you change your mind? You're not going to ask?" Angela panics at the velvet box hits her hands.

"No. I want to buy her ring myself." Jane explains while trying to get her mom to put the ring away.

"Why?" Angela questions once the ring is gone.

"I just do. I want to find the perfect ring." Jane explains.

"You're not just saying that to stall are you?" Angela demands.

"No." Jane promises, but deep down she can't tell if that's a lie or not. "Just give it to Frankie when you think he is ready, okay?"

Angela nods while Maura arrives back at the table. "Are you ready to go?" She asks and the two women get up from their seats.

They're on their way out when Angela grabs Maura's arm. "Walk me to my car please Maura?"

Maura looks questioningly at Jane before agreeing.

"I'll get the car and meet you at Ma's car." Jane tells her before heading off in the opposite direction to their car.

"Is something wrong?" Maura asks as they walk. "Is there something you'd like to ask me about dating?"

"No. There is something I'd like to tell you, Maura." Angela explains. "You've known Jane a long time and you know how stubborn she is. She does everything her own way. And sometimes she can take her sweet time. So just don't give up on her if she takes too long. She'll get there eventually."

Maura has an idea of what Angela is talking about. She wants to question it but then she realizes she's at Angela's car and Jane is already pulling up. She nods and smiles at Angela before walking off to get into her car.

"What did she want?" Jane asks as soon as she's buckled in.

"Um you know. To talk about Korsak and that thing you don't want to talk about." She lies effortlessly. Well not effortlessly, she feels the hives forming but she's thankful she's wearing a scarf and Jane is too preoccupied with grimacing to look her over.


	36. Chapter 36

**Finals are over and I'm home so I've got more time for writing. Thank you for all the reviews and new follows. This chapter is a little...tense.**

**Enjoy and review if you please...or please review? I love feedback :)**

* * *

It's 2:23 a.m., the day after Valentine's day, when Jane hears her phone beep and seconds later Maura's follows. They've only had about two hours of sleep and she can't help but think this is the worst night to be called in for a homicide. She turns over and groans until she feels Maura's calming touch upon her cheek.

She knows it's Maura's left hand instantly. She's become increasingly aware of what hand Maura is using and when. She's aware because it's a constant reminder of how much of a coward she is. Because that one finger on that one hand still sits empty.

She returned two of the three rings. She made Angela promise to give her grandmother's ring to Frankie. Constance hasn't sent the ring back to her in the mail so she is hoping that she understood her letter explaining why she couldn't accept the ring.

She's still trying to figure out what to do with the final ring. Since she really can't go out and find Doyle, she has to get a hold of Hope; something she really doesn't want to do behind Maura's back. But even despite her hesitance, it is proving nearly impossible as the woman is clearly purposefully avoiding her. She's still going to try though; it's all she really can do.

But now she sits with that empty left hand upon her cheek and she's back to realizing it's the middle of the night and they're getting called in.

_This better be fucking important! _She thinks as she squints her eyes open.

"Jane." She whispers.

"No." Jane whines as she sits up. She knows everyone is going to be avoiding her today. Being called in this early is the easiest way to get an even crabbier side of Jane than normal. But homicide waits for no one and it especially doesn't happen at opportune times.

In 15 minutes, Maura and Jane are in the car and on the way to the crime scene, Maura looking a lot more put together than Jane. It's the result of another routine between them.

When they arrive to the crime scene Maura leans over and pecks Jane's cheek. "Be nice, okay?"

Jane doesn't respond as Maura exits the car. She's done with making promises she can't keep.

They step into the house and proceed with the normal questioning and investigation as always except Jane's a lot of bark and bite as she asks questions, her voice only softening when she's talking to Maura.

Frankie gets the worst of her attacks as she calls him out for everything he does wrong, which isn't much, but she's got to get back at someone.

A double homicide is not what she wants to deal with after a late and amazing night with her girlfriend. But this is the way the world is, this is her job.

She leaves Maura and the rest of the team to the bodies as she explores the rest of the home. Her interest piques when she notices another room other than the master bedroom with the name "Aaron" stuck to it in red, foam letters. It makes sense, a woman and a man lie dead in the living room and entrance. It's no surprise that they may have a child.

She steps towards the room and opens the door slowly, hoping the child was away tonight. When she sees the room is empty, she breathes a sigh of relief. While she heads toward the door to leave she hears a small whimper.

Instantly her mood softens and her heart clenches. She steps slowly toward the closet on the other side of the room and begins to calmly and quietly speak to the child she is sure is in there.

"Aaron. If that is you in there, my name is detective Rizzoli. I'm a police officer and I'm here to help. I promise I'm not going to hurt you." She whispers as she reaches the closet.

"I'm going to open the closet. If you don't want me to, then you can tell me to stop and I will." When she hears no sounds of protest she slowly opens the door to see a small child around 5 or 6-years-old in the corner of the closet. His knees are up to his chest and as soon as he sees Jane he breaks down and begins to cry softly.

"Is your name Aaron?" She asks softly as she kneels down.

He nods a small nod while Jane slowly reaches for her badge.

"My name is Jane." She extends her badge towards the boy. "I'm a police officer."

He lifts his head a bit to see the badge and Jane can see a small change in his demeanor. She hopes that change means some of his fear is dissipating.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" She asks.

When he shakes his head she gives him a gentle smile. "Would you like to come with me?" When he shakes his head no again she frowns a bit.

"I promise I won't hurt you." She says. "We can go in my car and you can put the siren on."

His head picks up but he still seems hesitant and she hopes she is on the right track. "One of my partners will be able to get you anything you'd like too. Would you like some ice cream?"

He looks blankly at her for a moment before nodding. Jane extends her arms and he thinks a moment before crawling towards her.

She pulls her jacket off and wraps it around the boy before lifting him. "I'm going to put this over your head okay. Don't remove it until I tell you to okay?"

He nods and she lifts the blazer over his head. She walks briskly but smoothly out of the room and out of the house while she sees her colleagues all looking at her. She hears Maura behind her but does not stop until she is outside and at her car.

She pulls the blazer off his head and opens the backseat of her car and sets him down. She knows Maura is standing behind her. "I'm going to buckle you in and then talk to my partner real quick and then we can get ice cream."

She closes the door gently after buckling him in before turning to Maura.

"I'm going to get him ice cream and then I'm going to bring him back to the station. Finish up here, ride with Frost to BPD and meet me at the morgue so you can assess him."

Maura remains silent still processing what's going on. "Is he- is he alright?"

"Physically, yes." Jane assures her. "You'll still need to assess him before we call DCS." She says before she heads to the other side of the car and gets into the driver's seat. She looks back in the mirror to see Aaron staring out the window at a still stunned Maura.

"Is she okay?" He whispers. It's the first words he's spoken and Jane can't help but smile at him. His first words after such a traumatic experience are ones of worry about another person.

"She's fine sweetie. She's just worried about you."

"Tell her I'm okay." He says after a moment.

"I will." Jane promises him. "Are you ready to go?"

He nods and she pulls off after turning the siren on. She notices a brief smile on his face before it returns to its worried state.

* * *

Twenty minutes later they're in the morgue; Aaron is sitting on one of the examination tables eating his ice cream while Jane waits for Maura. She watches him silently. She studies him. She's never been so intrigued by a child before.

He was quiet since the car ride. The only words he spoke were the ones in concern for Maura. Jane asked him many questions, but after the first few received no response, she began asking them in a yes or no format. From what she asked she affirmed that was his home, he didn't know his parent's names other than mom and dad, he was six years old and he liked chocolate chip ice cream.

Now he sits just as terse as before and Jane has no idea what she is doing.

When Maura finally walks in, Jane takes a breath of relief.

"How is he?" Maura says as soon as she reaches Jane.

"He's fine, quiet, but fine." Jane informs her.

"Jane, I don't think I'm the best person to do a medical exam." Maura worries.

"I trust you with it more than DCS." She tells her.

"Do we have to call DCS? Doesn't he have any family?"

"We've been looking, but I haven't been able to question him. He won't talk." She answers.

"Do you think he's suffering from PTSD?" Maura wonders as her face etches with worry.

"That's why I need you to look him over Maura. The kid won't say a thing." Jane explains.

"I'm not a psychiatrist, Jane. I can't access his psyche. The most I can do is look him over for physical harm"

"You took classes in psychiatry." Jane pushes.

"I took one clinical in behavioral neuroscience." Maura corrects.

"Well it's better than what I can do for him. Just see if he will talk to you. I have a feeling he will." Jane finalizes while giving Maura a small push towards the boy.

Maura finally relents and steps forward to the child. "Hello." She starts softly. "My name is Maura, what is your name?"

He's quiet for a moment as he processes what she says. She turns to Jane and shrugs, thinking she isn't going to get much further.

"I'm Aaron." He answers to Maura's surprise.

"Hello Aaron. How are you feeling?" She begins.

"I'm fine." He says softly. And though his words are short, they're more than Jane was getting.

"Well Aaron, I'm a doctor. I'm here to make sure you're okay." She informs him while stepping closer. "Would you mind if I examined you to make sure you aren't hurt anywhere?"

When he nods she takes it as her cue to touch him. She pats his hand and gives him a warm smile before starting her examination.

Jane watches as Maura takes extra care with the boy. It doesn't surprise her that Aaron is talking to her. The only words he spoke were those in regard for her. She watches as Maura's right hand (she's still very aware of those hands) extends with a wet cloth and gently wipes away the ice cream staining the boy's face. It's maternal and instinctual for Maura. It's no wonder the boy was drawn to her, who wouldn't be drawn to Maura.

"You look like you're in pretty good shape. You're a strong young man." Maura says sincerely to Aaron once she is done. She looks over to Jane and it's obvious she has no idea what to do.

Jane steps forward and takes a seat in front of Aaron. "Aaron, can you tell us what happened tonight?"

She's sees Maura nod to him when he immediately looks over to her for guidance. He keeps his eyes trained on her as he talks.

"I heard loud noises and my dad yelling about something and woke up. Then I heard my mom scream. My dad said "Please, no" and then I heard a loud bang and then a second one a little bit later. I heard two more bangs and then it was quiet." He stammers to Maura.

"That was very smart of you to hide in the closet." Maura notes.

"My mom told me that if anything sounded scary I should hide in my closet and she would come get me when it was safe." He explains.

"Have you ever had to hide in the closet before?" Jane questions.

"One time when the ground started to shake a lot."

Frost comes in with a few pictures for Jane and she holds them up for Aaron. "Are these your mommy and daddy?"

He nods and Jane sees a frown immediately form on Maura's face. "Do you have any other family members?

"My aunt." He answers and pauses. "But I haven't seen her in a long time."

Momentarily she was happy. She thought he would have family to go to. But now things seem even worse for him. She looks to Maura and silently tells her to stay with Aaron while she and Frost call DCS.

"So, what do you like to do for fun?" Maura asks once Jane and Frost leave. She's completely out of her element. What does a six year old boy like to do for fun and how do you keep him distracted from the most traumatic experience of his life?

"Baseball. I'm in little league." He says with a little excitement.

"Really? Jane loves baseball. You would probably enjoy talking to her about it."

He nods and silence consumes them again. "Can I ask you a question?" He asks softly.

"Absolutely." She answers.

"My parents." He starts. "They're not okay are they?"

She's completely blindsided by his question. She thought he had no idea, but it's obvious he is a lot smarter than she thought. She doesn't know what to say so she decides to tell him the truth. "No, they're not."

He nods and pulls his lips into his mouth and Maura is sure he will cry. She reaches out to hold his hand and he silently accepts it. They sit quietly until Jane returns.

When she walks in she pulls Maura aside. "They won't be sending a caseworker in until 11."

"What are they going to do with him?" Maura questions while looking worriedly at the sullen boy.

"Take care of him until they find any family that he has to take him."

"What if he doesn't have any? He said he hasn't seen his aunt in a long time."

Jane can see the hurt in Maura's face. Being an adopted child she knows what it's like to be raised by parents that aren't yours. But this kid has got it so much worse. "He will have to go into foster care, Maur."

She can see it within Maura, that pleading. She can see how she wants to argue against it, to suggest it. She doesn't even want to think of what 'it' is. But what worries her most of all is not that the intent is there, but the fact that if Maura asks, if Maura were to say those words, she knows she wouldn't be able to say no. So she says the only thing she can think of to tell Maura not to ask without saying no.

"Don't get attached Maura. The best we can do right now is find his parents' murderer and bring him justice."

Maura nods and Jane can see the tears forming behind her eyes. She realizes it's too late, that Maura is attached, but she chooses to ignore it. It's the only thing she can do right now. Because she's got other things to focus on, she's got a double homicide to solve. And most of all, she's scared.

For someone so brave, Jane is such a coward. She knows she wants to marry Maura. She knows it with every fiber of her being. She is 100% certain. Yet Maura's ring finger sits vacant. Because she's a coward too scared to ask and too scared to take that next step.

She can tell Maura wants to argue, she's sees the intent in her eyes but then Aaron calls Maura's name and she runs to him immediately. Jane takes a deep breath. She doesn't know how long she can avoid the question.

"I'm tired." He cries while wiping his eyes.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Would you like to sleep on the couch in my office?" She asks warmly.

He nods and she lifts him to take to her office.

"Maura that thing's about as comfortable as one of the slabs." Jane argues as she follows Maura into the room and watches her lay him down.

"Well where else would he sleep?" Maura questions. "Give me your jacket, Jane."

"What? Maura why?"

Maura just holds out her hand and Jane huffs while she takes it off. She tucks the boy in using Jane's jacket while he closes his eyes and already begins to nod off.

"Now I'm gonna be without my jacket." Jane protests.

Maura just gives her the look she knows not to argue with and shoos her out of the office.

"What are you going to do with him sleeping in there?" Jane questions once they get back into the morgue.

"Examine the two bodies I have here." Maura tells her.

"What if he walks in Maura."

"I'll be careful, Jane. He won't see anything. He's been awake all night so hopefully he'll be asleep until his caseworker arrives."Maura promises before walking off to her work station.

Jane watches her for a moment and sighs. She can't help feeling bad for avoiding the questions she knows Maura wants to ask.

_Maybe I should give it a chance. Maybe entertaining the idea will make it easier for me to propose. A kid is a big step in a relationship. Maybe considering a bigger step than marriage will make marriage easier. But what if I let her get her hopes up and DCS doesn't allow it?_

She shrugs off her thoughts and walks up to Maura and takes her hand in hers. She ignores Maura's questioning looks and gives her a gentle kiss on the lips. "We'll talk when we get home, okay?"

Maura doesn't question it she just nods and let's Jane leave, hoping she understood correctly what she was implying.

* * *

It's only a few hours into her examination of the bodies when she hears crying from her office and Aaron calling her name. She effectively covers the bodies and rushes to the distraught boy. When she gets into the office she can see tears in Aaron's eyes and steps towards him.

"What's wrong sweetie?" She asks. She doesn't expect the boy to wrap his arms around her immediately. It takes only a moment before she gives in and gives the boy the small comfort of a hug. Jane's words run through her mind, she really shouldn't get attached, but she also knows Aaron needs someone. "Did you have a bad dream?"

He nods and buries his head into her stomach as he begins to cry.

She doesn't have to ask what it was about, she's pretty sure she has an idea. "How about I sit with you until you fall back asleep?"

He sniffles out an "okay" and Maura watches as he lays his head down in her lap. She doesn't protest and tries to console him by gently rubbing his back to lull him into a sleep. She doesn't notice Jane watching from the door.

She sits and admires Maura with the boy. She notes how good Maura looks with a child. Jane can't help but think maybe it won't be so bad to talk about children with Maura. She knows she wants kids with her. If she had to be honest, she wanted a kid with Maura since they took care of Junior together. But she can't even get the guts to propose and she wonders how long it will be until she gets the nerve to bring up starting a family. She watches as the boy falls asleep and she finally catches Maura's eye.

Maura gently lifts the boy off her lap without waking him and tucks him under Jane's jacket once again. She walks out of the room as slowly as possible so her heels make little noise against the tile and shuts the door before telling Jane she has finished looking over the bodies.

Jane stops her for a moment, steps closer to her and kisses her, slowly and sweetly. She can't help it. She falls for Maura more and more every day. And seeing her with Aaron, seeing how gentle and caring she is, it makes her love her even more.

When she pulls back, Maura gives her that award winning smile. "What was that for?"

"I love you" is her only answer as she smiles back. "So what did you find?" She asks, stepping back into work mode.

"Both had injuries sustained by a small caliber bullet, most likely a .22 gauge handgun. The husband was killed first. A small bullet wound to the stomach, then a second to the chest. The bullet went through his heart causing pericardial tamponade and pulmonary edema which explains the blood on his chest from hemoptysis. He eventually succumbed to his wounds by asphyxiation."

Jane stares as always and waits for the English translation. She got about half of it but she'd rather give Maura a hard time.

"His heart and lungs filled with blood due to the trauma, he died from-"

"Suffocating on blood." Jane finishes. "You couldn't just say that?" She asks sarcastically. "What about mom? Dumb it down for me please."

"Two bullets to the abdomen caused major intraperitoneal hemorrhage. She most likely went into shock and bled to death internally while unconscious." Maura explains while pointing to the entry points in the woman's stomach.

Jane grimaces. "Did she suffer?" She wonders.

"I can't promise she didn't." Maura answers regretfully. "The sooner she went into shock the less pain she would have had to endure."

Jane hopes shock was immediate for the sake of Aaron's mother. "Our suspect wasn't a marksman." Jane comments based on the lousy shots.

"No stippling or GSR means the suspect was likely more than 5 feet from the victims when he fired." Maura adds.

"Anything else?" Jane questions.

"I was able to retrieve two rounds from the bodies that can be analyzed if a weapon is recovered." Maura says. "That's all I have until the lab tests get back."

"The caseworker from DCS should be here soon so we can question Aaron a little more." Jane notes.

She sees Maura frown and realizes that maybe mentioning child services to Maura wasn't a good idea. It's obvious she has deemed herself a protector of the young boy and Jane is making herself out to be the enemy by trying to deny that every minute.

She sighs and steps closer to Maura who remains terse. "Maura I'm sorry I-"

She's cut off by her phone beeping. She looks down and groans. "It's Frost. He has something." She explains. She gives Maura a soft peck on the cheek. "I love you." She says and it's more of a question than a statement. It's a question because she desperately needs Maura to answer back with the same three words. But she doesn't. And Jane sighs; her day seems to be full of disappointed sighs. She pulls back and out of Maura's space and doesn't hide the hurt on her face from Maura's cold shoulder. "We will talk later." Jane promises again before heading out.

_Later. _Is all Maura thinks of. _It's always later with her lately. What happens when later is too late?_ Maura wonders before going back to work, her mind far from calm.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Well I wanted to have this out by Christmas as a sort of gift but then it got longer and longer and then my beta thought it'd best to cut it in two and I totally agree, it's just better this way. So you'll get the next half in a few days. Hopefully this answers all the questions as to why exactly Maura acted the way she had in the last chapter.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, a lot of them really, really inspired me to keep going. I wasn't confident in this chapter but my beta helped with that with her amazing response and encouragement so thanks to her.**

**Anyways enjoy and review if you please.**

* * *

"What have you got, Frost?" Jane asks as soon as she enters the bullpen.

He stares silently at her for a moment with a look Jane can't quite make out.

"What? Do I have something on my face? You told me you had something."

"Sorry. Just um, how's the kid?" He wonders.

"Fine. Now what have you got?" She asks again.

"Just fine?" He questions.

"Yes Frost. He is fine. What did you call me up here for?" She asks one final time, her voice teeming with exasperation.

"Right." Frost says clearing his throat. "Tim Douglas had an outstanding custody battle over Aaron, the boy's mother wasn't Kathy Douglas."

"Who's his mother then?" She questions.

"A Janice Royce. Tim won custody of Aaron after his birth. She was addicted to drugs at the time. She filed for custody again a few months ago. The courts were most likely going to rule in favor of Tim again." Frost explains.

"That sounds like motive to me." She smirks, glad to have finally caught a break.

"You want to go pick her up?" He asks.

She nods then looks at her watch. "Shit. I should probably stay back. Aaron's DCS caseworker is going to be here soon."

Frost just looks at her with the same look he did when she walked in.

"Okay, What?" She growls.

"Nothing." He shrugs before walking off.

"Why is everyone acting so crazy today?" She groans as Frankie rushes in.

"Jane. I need to talk to you." He says.

"I was just about to look for you. I need you to go with Frost and pick up a suspect."

"Okay, but Jane, I need to tell you something." He insists.

"Fine. What is it?" She huffs.

He pulls her outside where no one can hear before whispering "Ma, went out on a date with Korsak last night."

"So." She shrugs.

"A Valentine's Day dinner. Just Ma and Korsak." He elaborates.

"Frankie, I heard you. I'm glad." She says nonchalantly.

"What?"

"Korsak's a good guy Frankie. Ma needs to move on from pop and find someone new. We're not little kids anymore. She deserves to find someone and I'd rather it be someone we already know than some creep off the internet or whatever." She explains.

"But Jane. He works with us. He was your partner for years." He says again.

"Look Frankie, Ma is going to date whether we like it or not. Don't interfere."She demands before walking off and groaning once her phone beeps again.

She looks down and notices a text from Maura asking her to come back downstairs. She kind of wants to avoid the blonde for a while to let things cool off, but obviously her job won't allow that. She heads down to the lab with a heavy heart. She knows shit may hit the fan soon. She can't keep dodging Maura and the questions she is sure will be asked of her.

* * *

"What's up Maura?" She asks, feigning nonchalance when she gets in the lab.

"Susan just got the DNA report back. Kathy-"

"Isn't Aaron's biological mother. Shit Maur, sorry that's what Frost just found out. I meant to message you but Frankie distracted me."

"It's fine." She shrugs it off. "Have your guys found Aaron's aunt?"

"Korsak is trying to find her, but if his biological mother checks out she may end up with custody." Jane explains.

She catches something in Maura's eye that she thinks may be disappointment and it sets her insides alight. It's a look she can't stand to see on Maura's face.

For once Jane is happy her phone beeps interrupting the awkward silence that was bound to occur. She doesn't know how to approach Maura right now. Things are extremely confusing and she wants to avoid causing that look all over again.

She reads the message then sighs. "It's Aaron's caseworker. She's downstairs waiting for me. I'll be back soon." She doesn't stay to see Maura's reaction. She can't keep seeing that look.

* * *

As she steps into the lobby she notices a woman standing around waiting. She's very pretty and petite with mousy brown hair. She's dressed in a blazer, a skirt and heels which leads Jane to assume she is either a lawyer or the caseworker from DCS. She approaches her and extends her hand. "Hello, I'm detective Jane Rizzoli. You must be from DCS."

"You are correct." She smiles. "Name's Andrea. I was assigned to Aaron's case."

"Great. He's in the morgue sleeping right now." Jane confirms.

Andrea clears her throat and shoots Jane a concerned look.

"Oh I didn't mean for it to sound like that." She laughs lightly. "My colleague's office has a couch in it and he was tired." She explains. "Should I take you to him?" She asks awkwardly.

"Not yet. I'd like to get all the information first." She answers.

"Right. Would you like to get some coffee in the café then? It's been an early morning for me." Jane suggests.

"Sounds great." Andrea agrees while following her into the café.

"So you're not used to this are you?" Andrea asks once they're seated with their cups and she notices Jane's nervously fiddling her hands.

"Is it that obvious?" She laughs. "This is my first time finding a kid on a case. As you can see, it's not my area of expertise. I'm not so great with kids."

"Something makes me doubt that." Andrea contests. Her friendliness helps put Jane at ease.

"So what is it you need to know?" Jane asks.

Andrea fills out the paperwork while Jane spews off all the information she has on the case."

"Have any relatives of Aaron been found or contacted?" She asks while she's nearing the end of her questioning.

"We're trying to find his aunt. Kathy wasn't his mother. His biological mother is currently a suspect in the case and is being brought in for questioning." Jane explains.

Andrea spends a moment writing it down before looking up and smiling. "All right, I think I'm ready to meet the little guy."

"Do you mind if I ask you a question first?" Jane wonders.

"Shoot." Andrea prompts.

"Providing that Aaron's aunt isn't found and his mother had something to do with the Douglas's murders, what would happen to the boy?" Jane asks.

"Well, we'll extend every effort to find a suitable relation within the family to take him. Foster care really is our last resort but if no one is available that's where he will end up." She explains sadly.

"What if someone were to want to take the boy in?" She honestly has no idea what's coming out of her mouth at the moment. Why she's asking all these questions. But she knows she'd do anything to make Maura happy. A kid couldn't be so bad right? She took care of Junior for a few weeks. At least this one can use words to convey what he wants or needs.

"There are certain processes they'd have to go through but it's possible. We'd rather the child have a permanent home than be put in a foster home." She informs her. "I get the feeling this isn't a hypothetical question."

"My girlfriend is the M.E. and she's gotten kind of attached to Aaron already." Jane explains. "I tried to warn her not to get too attached but she's been a wreck worrying about his fate."

"Well she's lucky to have you to care about what she wants. I'll see what we can do." Andrea says with a smile. It puts Jane at ease knowing she isn't opposed to both the idea of taking Aaron or the status of her sexuality. "Well, shall we go meet him?" She asks.

Jane leads her to the elevator and they head down to the morgue together while she sends a text to Maura warning her that they're coming. When she gets down there Maura isn't in the lab so she can only assume she's in her office. She leads Andrea in to find her sitting on the couch while Aaron plays games on her phone.

"Hello." She greets standing to introduce herself. "I'm Dr. Maura Isles, chief medical examiner for the common wealth of the state of Massachusetts."

"Andrea, agent for the department of child services for the common wealth of the state of Massachusetts." She responds with a hint of comedy in her voice. "And you must be Aaron." She says to the boy.

He doesn't respond and just nods as usual.

"Well Aaron, it is very nice to meet you. I'm going to have to ask you a few questions if that's okay." When she sees the boy's eyes go to Maura she quickly adds to her previous statement. "Maura can stay with us if you'd like."

Maura smiles at the young boy before stepping over to Jane. "I asked your mom to bring him some lunch. I was hoping you could stick around and maybe wait for her I'd appreciate that Jane." But Jane notices her eyes are saying a different story. They're pleading her to stay. Maybe because she's worried Andrea will take Aaron away and she's willing to provide Maura with any comfort she needs.

"Of course." She answers before heading out the door and pacing until her mother arrives with some boxes of food.

"Hi Janie. I brought lunch for everyone." She says while handing the cartons to Jane. "What's wrong?" She asks, noticing Jane's worried state.

"Nothing. This kid's just been very stressful." She answers while setting the boxes down.

"Jane, it's just a little boy. How bad could it be?"

"Pretty bad when Maura is basically pleading me to let us keep him like he's some homeless puppy we found on the street." Jane whines.

"She asked you if you guys could adopt him?" Angela wonders.

"Not physically, but I can see it Ma." She says sadly.

"Well Jane, Maura's a very caring person but you've got to give her some credit."

"I know, of course I know that. But Ma, we aren't ready for a kid-"

"I think you are." Angela interrupts.

"Not a six-year-old Ma. I wouldn't know where to begin." Jane responds.

"You'd learn as you go." Angela shrugs. "Nobody knows absolutely how to raise their kids. I wasn't a perfect parent. We just do what we think is right and try to give them the best life possible. They say it's instinct, and part of it is, but you also learn a lot along the way."

"I think you did a pretty great job, Ma." Jane says as she wraps an arm around Angela.

"Thanks Janie. And you don't have to make a decision right now. I mean there is a chance he could have family to take him. But for Maura's sake at least think about it and maybe talk about it with her. It's a big decision to make and maybe Maura may be thinking a little too much with her heart, but sometimes that's the right way to go. Just keep an open mind." She advises while kissing Jane on the forehead.

"I'll try." Jane sighs.

"Good. I've got to go back to work." She says before releasing her daughter. "Remember what I said. And remember I'm here. It takes a village, after all."

"Yeah, yeah. Love you Ma."

"Love you too Janie." She responds as the elevator doors close.

She waits another fifteen minutes before the office door opens and the two women emerge, Aaron distracted again by the phone.

"Well that should about do it for my paperwork." Andrea says as soon as they join Jane.

"And what about Aaron?" Maura asks.

"Well it's not normal for DCS to make decisions like the one I'm about to make, but since it isn't permanent and no legal action is currently required, I feel it's a safe choice that he stays with you, especially with you being a doctor and Jane being of the law. Aaron seems to have taken a liking to you Dr. Isles. He thinks of you as his protector and trusts you and I'm not willing to send him to a temporary home where he may withdraw any more than he already has. I think it is safe to suggest he stay with you until the future dictates further action. That is, only if you feel comfortable."

"Of course." Maura responds a little too quickly.

"Perfect, I'll need to check in on you guys tomorrow. Jane, I'll need updates on any new pertinent info to this case including the status on the whereabouts of his aunt and his mother's current status as a person of interest in this case." She says to the now paling brunette.

"Absolutely." She stammers.

"Alright. I'll leave you two ladies to lunch and show myself out." She says while walking towards the elevator, but not before sending Jane a quick wink.

Jane just sits there a moment in shock. This is what she asked for but she didn't really think Andrea would agree.

"Did your mom bring lunch?" Maura asks, breaking her out of her stupor.

"Uh yeah. I'll go grab it." She says before rushing out of the room. She grabs the cartons and is about to go back into the room until Maura emerges and walks up to her.

"Jane I just want to make sure you're okay with this. I mean it's _our_ house and it's as much your decision as mine." Maura explains softly.

Jane steps closer and gently caresses Maura's cheek. "I'm fine Maur. Just a little stunned but we'll figure everything out. I trust you."

Maura's about to respond when Jane's phone goes off.

"Damn this thing has been going off all day." She growls. "I'm sorry Maur, I'm gonna have to take my lunch to go." She explains before kissing Maura hurriedly. "You should head home early and get Aaron settled. I'll have Frost or Frankie stop by his house and grab a few things for him."

"Okay. I love you." She says to the retreating brunette. She sighs as she walks over to grab the lunches and goes back into the office to eat with Aaron.

* * *

"What did you need Frost?" Jane asks as she enters the bullpen.

"Got your suspect in the interrogation room. Do you wanna take this one?" He asks.

"I'm not really feeling it today. You and Frankie take this one. I'll watch while I eat my lunch." She says ignoring the confused stare Frost gives her.

She's only halfway through her lunch as the interrogation comes to a close. Janice had a solid alibi working the graveyard shift at a 24 hour diner in downtown Boston. She emerges thoroughly pissed off, followed by Frost and Frankie who are clearly annoyed by the woman's attitude and the fact that they're now back to no suspects.

"Oh and I'd like to have my son home as soon as possible. Where is he?" She demands.

"Sorry ma'am, he's a ward of the state until this investigation is closed." Frost tells her, a hint of smugness in his voice.

"Yeah, we'll see what a lawyer says about that. I'm innocent and he's my son." She shouts while Frost tries to shoo her out. "I'll have him back by this time tomorrow."

"Of course you will ma'am." He drawls as he finally gets her out of the office. "What a bag of nuts she was." He says to Jane after the woman is gone.

"Some people just don't deserve children." Jane sighs.

"And some people will make amazing parents." Frost replies.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jane asks.

"Nothing. We were all just a little amazed by you today with that boy." Frost shrugs. "You'd be a good mom."

"Did Maura get to you guys or something?" Jane questions.

"No, why? Is Maura asking for children?" Frost wonders.

"No, thank God. I don't know how I'd handle that right now."

"You guys aren't getting any younger, Jane. You should give it at least some thought." He suggests.

"What is it with all of you today? I can't deal with this." She groans, getting up to head out.

"Jane." Korsak calls causing her to stop mid step.

"This better be good Korsak." She growls.

"I found Aaron's aunt." He says.

"You're sure?" She asks as her temper drops.

"Tim had a sister named Lisa. She's living in New York right now." He tells her.

"Okay. So Aaron has a family member willing to take him correct?" She asks hopefully.

"If Janice is somehow not fit, yes. She's coming down tomorrow."

"Great." She cheers. "Well let's get back to trying to find some leads on this case." She commands, her attitude taking a turn for the better.

"Something we missed, Jane?" Frankie asks regarding her new mood.

"Nope. Let's ask around and see if anyone knew if the Douglas's had any enemies."

"Alright." Frankie and Frost say simultaneously. It's scary sometimes how well they work together.

"Also I need you two to head back to the crime scene and get some of Aaron's things." She asks.

"Okay. Why? Isn't that DCS's job now?" Frost questions.

"Not since his caseworker left Aaron in the care of Maura temporarily." She explains.

"Now I see why you want Lisa to take him so badly. How are you gonna break it to Maura?" Frankie asks.

"Shit. I didn't think about that." She panics.

"Yeah not so great now." Frankie jabs.

"Shut up." She barks looking down at her now buzzing phone. "Susan says she's got something. Looks like we may have another suspect."

Jane comes back fifteen minutes later with new information. "All right guys we are looking for a Daniel Perkins. Susan ran the ballistics. The same gun used in our homicide was used in an armed robbery five years ago. He was questioned but never convicted and the weapon was never found."

"Why are we just getting this now?" Frost asks.

"Maura only had time to do the autopsy with Aaron downstairs. Susan was left to run the rest of the evidence." Jane answers. "Come on Korsak, let's go pick him up. You guys stop by the crime scene." She orders.

It's 5:30 when Frost and Julia are walking out of the interrogation room with their new suspect in handcuffs. They found a handgun in the glove compartment and Susan confirmed it was the one used in the homicide.

"What kind of idiot keeps the weapon he just murdered two people with, especially a hot weapon that was still missing from a previous crime?" Jane asks Frankie as the three exit the room.

"I have no idea but it makes our jobs a heck of a lot easier." He shrugs. "Maybe he didn't think he'd ever get tied to the murder."

"I guess. Which makes me wonder why he did it. He was so confident he wouldn't be tied to a double homicide that he kept the weapon on him." She notes. "I mean, he didn't rob them. What's his motive?"

"Some people are just crazy." Frankie replies.

"I don't think so. No one just randomly goes and shoots two people." She says. "Korsak, where does this guy work?"

"A car garage on 13th." He answers.

"What are the chances he enjoys eating at a 24-hour diner just down the street?" She wonders.

"You think Janice and Daniel know each other?" Frankie questions.

"It could explain motive. She wants custody of her kid and the Douglas's have a stable home and jobs. She knows she'll never win custody so she hires someone to do something about it." Jane explains.

"You could have something." Frankie exclaims. "But Perkins isn't giving anything up."

"We're going to have to question people at the diner as to whether or not Janice knows him before we bring her back in. Maybe we can somehow play them off of each other and get one of them to confess." Korsak proposes.

"We'll have this case wrapped up by tomorrow afternoon." Jane says happily. It's not often a case is so easily closed, especially not a double homicide.

"Well, should we head out and do some interviews?" Frankie asks.

"I think you guys are going to have to do that without me. You've practically done most of this case without my help. I should go home and help Maura out." She informs them as she grabs her things to go.

* * *

When she gets home Aaron is in the living room watching some cartoons Maura must have put on for him while she makes dinner in the kitchen. It's kind of surreal for Jane to be coming home to this situation. She hopes this is what the future will be like for them.

"Do you need any help?" She asks as she walks into the kitchen.

"Sure. Set the table?"

Jane does as she's asked in record time before she's back in the kitchen next to Maura. She'll do whatever she can to prove her cooperation.

"You're back earlier than I thought you would be. What's happening with the case?" Maura wonders.

"Susan managed to get a trace on the ballistics evidence. We found who murdered Aaron's parents, we're just trying to piece together motive and see if Janice has any ties to our suspect before we decide what to do with Aaron." Jane explains.

"Why aren't you helping them?"

"I wanted to make sure you guys were good." Jane shrugs, turning to watch the boy quietly sitting on the couch enjoying TV. "I never told you how great you've been with him. He's really taken a liking to you, Maur."

"He just finds resemblance of Kathy in me. She was a mother to him." She tries to explain away.

"I don't think so, Maura. He's got good instincts and he trusts you because you're loving, gentle and trustworthy and he could sense that. Anybody could." Jane compliments earning a small smile from the blonde. "I'm sorry about today. It was hectic and just- I'm glad it's almost over."

"It's fine, Jane. I understand. A double homicide is trouble enough without finding a child." Maura pardons.

"No, you had the bulk of the work, Maura. And I wasn't very understanding." Jane insists.

"I understand. You're right, it was a hectic day and you were stressed." She excuses Jane again.

"But it's no excuse." Jane argues while stepping closer to the blonde and coaxing her to look at her. "You work so much more efficiently than I do under stress. And sometimes I become so selfish and I don't think about anyone else's feelings. I was in an awful mood, it was an awful day and then I was worried about possibly ending up with a six-year-old child. But that is no excuse. I should have been more supportive."

"Jane, I'm telling you it is okay. I'm not mad at you." She says one final time.

"You're not?"

"I was a little disappointed today in how unwilling you were to even talk about maybe the possibility of taking Aaron in-"

"But Maura, you've got to understand my panic. We haven't even discussed having a family and then all of the sudden we have a six-year-old thrust upon us. It took me a little time to warm up to the idea." She defends.

"I know. I'm not blaming you. Aaron is a special case though, after what he has been through he's going to need a lot of special care and foster care isn't going to help him. We really aren't prepared for a six-year-old but that's the only reason I considered it and I never would have made a decision without asking you. You worked so hard to avoid me today, I got a bit upset." Maura explains.

"I'm sorry Maura, I panicked. But I need you to know that I would say yes. I'd do anything to make you happy." She admits.

"What about you?" Maura asks softly.

"What about me?"

"Would it have made you happy or would you have only done it because I wanted to?" Maura clarifies.

Jane thinks a moment and Maura is sure that hesitation is her answer.

"Jane, there is a difference between compromising on what side of the bed to sleep on or who showers first in the morning or something like that. This is a huge decision that you should make because you want it too." Maura explains calmly.

"Maura I wouldn't make a decision like this if I wasn't sure about it. Whether if it's more for you than for me is irrelevant as long as I'm confident in that decision." She tries to defend herself.

"Ultimately, I don't want you to make a decision just because I want it. I'm just worried that we want different things for the future. Are you always going to compromise to make me happy despite what you really want?" She questions.

"Maura why can't you just trust me when I say that what you want is what I want?"

"Because it's not enough." She says simply. "It's not enough to keep a healthy relationship. Jane I want marriage and kids but you've said on multiple occasions that it's not what you want. I don't want to have those things with you if you're only doing it out of compromise. I know we haven't talked about this because talking to you about this stuff is like pulling teeth. But from your actions and your previous statements, how can I believe that's really what you want."

"Maura, I only acted the way I did today because I wasn't ready for a six-year-old child. That's a much bigger deal than openly deciding as a couple to have a child." She argues and she realizes maybe she hasn't chosen the right words to say as Maura's expression becomes blank and she turns away to continue finishing the meal she's been preparing.

"It doesn't matter anymore, because Aaron's aunt is willing to take him." Maura says softly.

"How did you know that?" Jane can't help but ask.

"Andrea called me to check up on Aaron." Maura tells her simply.

"I was going to tell you, Maur." Jane promises.

"It doesn't matter, Jane." She sighs, avoiding Jane's eyes that are now begging to be addressed. "It's a relief I suppose."

"Maura, can you look at me so we can talk about this? You're not being fair and hearing me out." She begs.

"Now isn't really a good time." She answers softly as she turns around to start plating the food. Her entire demeanor has changed and it doesn't take Jane long to recognize it. She's defeated and sick of the argument. Jane fears this emotion in Maura most of all because she doesn't want Maura to give up on her. To give up on them because of simple misunderstandings and stupid things Jane has said before they really meant anything.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Alright. Second half and it's a mighty bit longer. I'm heading back to school tomorrow as I'm sure a lot of you are too and this semester is gonna be a hard one. I'm predicting maybe one more chapter and a long (or multipart) epilogue but it may take some time for me to get them out. Thank you so much for reading and thank you for my Beta, who edited this crazy long chapter for me and really helped boost my confidence in it.**

**Reviews inspire me to write faster :). Enjoy!**

* * *

She hopes Maura doesn't want to talk anymore because she doesn't want to start a fight in front of Aaron and not because she's given up. All she wants is for Maura to look at her while she tells her there is nothing more she'd rather do than marry her and settle down with her. And now Maura chooses this time to be stubborn and give up so easily. It's not hard for her to realize that maybe Maura didn't mean to go so far in conveying her fears tonight and now she's scared for what Jane has to say. It kind of hurts her to know what little faith Maura has in her. And then again, it upsets her that she herself hadn't made it clear enough that Maura is it for her. Sure she wrote it in that letter months ago, but she could have just as easily said anything to get Maura back. Since then they haven't talked about the future at all and now she realizes it's a long awaited talk that needs to happen soon.

"You know we have a lot to talk about after dinner?" She asks to be sure that Maura knows their conversation isn't over.

She hears a faint "I know" from Maura and then watches as she fetches Aaron from the living room and helps him wash his hands before helping him sit down at the table.

It's a scene that despite the tension in the air, still warms Jane's heart. Because Maura with a child is one of Jane's favorite sides of her. And then she feels that gentle pang and realizes she can't wait till that's their child. She can't wait till Maura's taking such gentle care with their son and she wants to shout that to Maura. She wants to transfer that thought to Maura right now and let her feel that excited, butterfly feeling within her when she imagines it. But now isn't the time, so she resists.

The air between the three of them at the dinner table is a lot less tense than Jane expected it would be, but it's still a bit too quiet for her. She attempts conversation with Aaron and after a little prodding he opens up a little more. Even Maura smiles when he gets excited about baseball and he and Jane share a conversation about the Red Sox. For a six-year-old, he's well versed in the sport and it's another pang to the stomach. She wants their child to be just the same.

After dinner, she offers to clean up while Maura get's Aaron ready for bed and Maura thanks her with a quick but hesitant peck on the cheek before heading off will the boy. She hopes that's got to count for something as she wonders how to fix this mess while doing the dishes.

When she finishes she decides to see how Maura is doing with Aaron. She walks into the guest room to see Maura gently towel drying Aaron's freshly cleaned hair. She can't help but smile at the scene before her and she wishes again that the ironman pajama clad boy was theirs in that moment. As she watches Maura tuck him in she decides that if Maura is only getting hints of what she wants from her actions, she'll have to take action to show Maura that they're on the same page. She runs to their room and emerges minutes later just as Maura shuts the boy's door.

"Is he asleep?" She asks as she turns to face Maura.

"Yeah." Maura answers softly. "Hopefully he'll sleep through the night."

Now she's standing here like an idiot with no idea how to breach the subject so she immediately drops to one knee. Except what should have been a grand gesture just makes her feel like more of an idiot because she hasn't said anything.

"Jane?" She hears Maura question from above and it doesn't help her feel any less stupid.

"Just give me a minute." She asks as she tries to get her thoughts together and figure out what to say. She sees Maura looking at her expectantly and suddenly she's thirsty; her throat is so very dry. She clears her throat and just decides to wing it. "Maura." She stammers out and she's sure she's going to ruin everything but she's got to at least try.

"You're right about everything. Well almost everything. I'm a pain in the ass when it comes to talking about feelings and I haven't been doing a very good job at telling you what it is that I've been feeling. Maybe I'm better with actions so I'm going to take action. But I do want to get better at talking to you about these things." She promises and then takes a deep, calming breath.

"Today, I flat out panicked. Not because I didn't want the same things as you, but because I'm a coward Maur. When it comes to stuff like this, I'm not so great. It's no excuse though because I made you feel like we're on different pages and we aren't. I want _everything _you want, and not just because you want it. _I _want it too. Everything I said in the past, I said it because the only person I pictured marrying and having a family with was you. And I spent years thinking that it was never going to happen. I always thought we'd never be anything more than friends so I said those things to make myself feel better. Everything I wrote in that letter months ago was the truth. Maybe I don't say it enough. But I love you Maura. I love you so much and I want to marry you and I want to have kids with you and I want to grow old with you." She finishes strongly. She hopes she's said everything she needs to but she feels like she's forgetting something.

"Is that it?" Maura asks and Jane can't help but frown. She just bared everything and those are the only words Maura has to speak. "I'm just a little confused as to why you're on the floor. Though bowing is often used to express sincerity in Asian cultures this is hardly-"

"Crap." Jane interrupts her history lesson and then can't help but chuckle at her stupidity for forgetting the most important part of her speech but also at the reaction Maura has given her after everything she's just said. She wonders if that socially awkward part of Maura will ever go away but if she is being honest, she hopes it never does. "I'm so sorry. I wanted this to be special and then I ruined it by just trying to do it now and then I ruined it again by completely forgetting the point and I'm just going to start over." She babbles and then clears her throat one last time.

She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a small velvet box before continuing. "What I'm trying to say, is that you're it for me. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm sorry that I haven't been so good at making sure you know that. But I want to be yours and I want to make you as happy as you make me, for the rest of our lives." She says as she opens the box to reveal a ring with an oval cut yellow sapphire and three diamonds on each side of the gem in a platinum band. "Maura Dorthea Isles, will you marry me?" She asks with as much conviction as she can muster.

To her it seems weak, but it comes out strong and confident despite her true feelings and fears. Maura remains silent and she has no idea what to do or what she's thinking. Even after their small argument she doubts Maura and thinks she may say no and honestly that fear has been what held her back for the past month. And then she sees tears running down Maura's face and she panics as she jumps to her feet and attempts to wipe them away.

"I'm sorry, Maura." She repeats over and over as she wipes away Maura's tears and caresses her cheeks softly. "I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry." Then she feels Maura's hands on hers and her head nods over and over. Maura's hands drop and she briefly feels them fist her shirt and pull her closer before Maura's kissing her, hard. It surprises her at first but then she gives in as their lips mold together perfectly as always. She hopes this means yes as she feels Maura grip her tighter and tighter.

"Yes, Jane." She finally pants between deep kisses.

"Yes?" Jane manages to breathe out despite Maura's attack on her lips. For some reason she can't believe it and she just has to make sure. She has to solidify that Maura Isles is now her fiancée.

"Absolutely." Maura mumbles against Jane's lips before pressing another bruising kiss to them.

How tightly Maura holds her is something Jane will never forget. It's kind of amazing how perfectly they meld together and how it seems as if every part of their bodies is touching. She pulls away from the kiss and rests her forehead against Maura's as she sighs a breath of relief. She fumbles a moment with the box in her hand before she remembers that she hasn't even placed the ring on Maura's finger.

She pulls back a bit and pulls Maura's left hand up to her mouth and kisses it. She's glad that it won't be empty any longer. She stares happily and proudly into Maura's eyes as she pulls the ring from the box and slides it gently onto Maura's ring finger. She spent hours and many lunch breaks looking for the perfect ring for Maura. Granted, she had to make up many stupid reasons as to why she couldn't spend lunch with her in the morgue as always but the look on Maura's face in this moment makes it worth it. She keeps her eyes locked on the green ones she loves so much as she sees them tear up again.

"It's beautiful, Jane." Maura whispers happily as she eyes the ring on her finger.

"Yeah?" She asks self-consciously. "Are you sure, because if you don't like it we could pick something else out. I wanted this to be perfect and romantic but then after tonight I just wanted to prove to you that I wanna marry you and now I just want to make sure you're at least happy with the ring so-"

"Jane." Maura interrupts her rambling. "It's perfect! I love it. I love you." She says earnestly.

Jane grins proudly as Maura pulls her in for another kiss. She isn't sure how but they make it to their bedroom which she's only aware of as her legs hit the bed behind her. Somehow they manage lying next to each other as Jane runs her arm up and down Maura's arm and hip, admiring her fiancée's (she's sure she won't get tired of being able to call Maura that) beauty.

"We should tell your mom first." Maura breaks the staring contest between them.

"She's going to know as soon as you walk in the door. She's had her eye on your ring finger since before Christmas." Jane hums contently as she herself admires Maura's ring finger.

"Should I ask?" Maura chuckles softly.

"It's a long story." Jane laughs along with her.

"We've got all the time in the world." Maura smiles.

"That we do." Jane agrees before going into the story of her mother and the ring. She feels it's safe to leave the other two rings out for now, especially Doyle's.

"Is that where you were all those times you couldn't have lunch with me?" Maura asks and receives a sheepish nod from the usually brazen detective. "Wow, so you've been contemplating asking for that long?" Maura wonders.

"I knew I wanted to marry you the first night you slept in my arms Maura." Jane admits truthfully earning that one smile Maura saves just for her.

"When do you want to get married?" Maura asks as she moves next to Jane and rests her head on her shoulder.

"Whenever you want babe." Jane answers, threading her fingers with Maura's and squeezing affectionately. "Though I think we should do without the 20-foot train, Maur." She suggests, earning a chuckle from the blonde.

"I was thinking of having a smaller ceremony than the dream wedding I told you about."

"Maura, we don't have to do that. We should have your dream wedding." Jane protests.

"Dreams change Jane. I want something small and private with our closest friends and family. As long as I'm marrying you, it's a dream wedding." She says reassuringly.

"Are you sure?" Jane questions.

"Extremely sure. I promise." She answers.

"Okay." Jane gives in. "If you change your mind, Maura." She trails off.

"I just want to marry you Jane." She answers while tightening her grip on the brunette.

They lay in silence for a while; the only sounds are those of their mixed, content breathing. She'd think Maura was asleep if she didn't feel her hand tickling her abdomen. When it stops she thinks Maura has fallen asleep and she's sure it won't be long before she follows. It was an exhausting day. However the next thing she knows, Maura's lips are upon her again.

It's unexpected and heated and it causes Jane's stomach to flip automatically, especially when Maura moves to straddle her waist and she feels a hand move under her shirt to palm her abdomen just below her breast. Maura being a top is such a turn on. _Maura _is a turn on and Jane is sure it's always going to be like that.

She hums when Maura's kiss turns softer and slower but it does nothing to cool her off. It does the opposite when Maura's thigh finds its way between her legs and she grinds right into her center.

"God, Maur." Jane groans and she feels Maura smirk as she starts trailing kisses down her jaw. She finds it adorable how happy it always makes Maura when she draws noises of pleasure from herself.

"I just remembered I've yet to make love to my fiancée." Maura whispers softly against Jane's jaw as she continues her trail of heated kisses.

Her breathing becomes labored as Maura continues rocking against her and she's pretty sure she's going to explode before Maura even really touches her. Just as Maura's hands reach her belt everything comes to a halt when they hear a familiar voice scream followed by Maura's name being called repeatedly in a panic.

Even Maura lets out a disappointed sigh at the interruption.

"Are you sure you want kids, Maur?" Jane half groans and half laughs. "Because once we have them, this is going to be an every night thing."

"I'm sorry." Maura says softly as she begins crawling off Jane.

"Hey." She says stopping Maura's retreat. She brushes her thumb softly over Maura's cheek and pecks her lips sweetly. "It was a joke. Don't be sorry."

"I'll be right back." Maura responds.

"Take your time, babe. I'm incredibly sexually frustrated right now, but he's more important." She says supportively.

"I love you." Maura beams while getting out of bed.

"I love you too." Jane mimics. "Take care of your boy."

It's only half an hour before Maura returns, having finally got Aaron to go back to sleep. However, she's not surprised to find Jane passed out on the bed, still dressed in everything including her shoes. They hadn't even made it to losing clothes before they were interrupted and she's kind of sad that Jane has fallen asleep waiting for her to return but it was an extremely long day and she's exhausted too. She sighs softly as she moves to remove Jane's shoes and socks and then crawls in next to her in bed.

She takes a moment to admire the sleeping brunette, her face for once relaxed and free of any signs of stress. She leans over and kisses her forehead softly and slowly before curling into her. She admires her engagement ring one final time just to assure herself that tonight truly happened. She wraps her arm around Jane's torso sighing in contentment and bliss before falling asleep.

* * *

Jane wakes minutes before their alarm is usually set to go off and she's glad she was so lucky as she turns it off for the morning to let Maura sleep in. She doesn't know how long it took her to get Aaron back to sleep but she's sure extra sleep would be appreciated. She decides to make breakfast remembering that kids have got to eat and it's the most important meal of the day.

She's setting the last pancake on the plate when little footsteps cause her to turn around. _The kid's got good timing._ She thinks as she walks over to him. "Good morning, Aaron." She greets him softly as he rubs his tired eyes. It's another one of those surreal moments, watching the boy in his ironman pajamas. It's another moment she hopes is a representation of her future. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Yes, please." He says audibly and Jane smiles, happy that he's finally comfortable enough to speak to her. She helps him take a seat and serves him a plate of food.

"Would you like some orange juice?" She asks as she heads to the fridge to pour him a glass after hearing another faint "yes." She sets the glass down in front of him and tousles his hair gently before positioning herself in front of Maura's espresso machine. She hopes she paid enough attention to be able to work Maura's contraption so she can wake her up with non-instant coffee.

"Where is Maura?" She hears faintly from behind her.

"She's still asleep, honey." She answers as she tries to finish Maura's drink. "I'm going to go wake her now, okay? You eat." She says as she heads off towards her bedroom with coffee in hand.

She walks in to see Maura still asleep and places the coffee on the nightstand. She bends down and brushes wisps of honey blonde hair from Maura's face before kissing her on the forehead and whispering gentle words to wake her.

"Jane?" Maura moans.

"Yeah, baby. Come on I made some breakfast." She answers with another kiss to Maura's forehead before she pulls back and is met with sleepy green eyes. "Hi." She smiles down at her.

"Good morning." Maura says returning her smile. She leans in to kiss Maura on the lips but she turns at the last minute.

"Morning breath." Maura answers upon seeing Jane's frown.

"I don't care, babe." Jane says before pulling her face towards hers to plant a kiss on Maura's lips. "I made you coffee. Aaron's already eating. Come join us." She says before kissing Maura once more and heading back out to the kitchen.

She notices Aaron has still not started eating. "What's wrong buddy?" She asks as she makes a plate for her and Maura. She frowns when she notices he still sits there motionless. "Maura's going to be in here in a few seconds. It's okay to eat without her, I promise."

"My mom says I shouldn't eat until everyone is at the table." He mumbles quietly.

"Well. You're mother is very right, but this morning we are going to let that slide okay? I promise you won't get in trouble. Maura's going to be a bit so you may eat without her." She says as she nurses a cup of coffee in her hands.

He stares at her skeptically but decides to obey when she says "I promise" again.

Moments later Maura emerges beaming with her cup of coffee. "Jane this is perfect." She exclaims motioning towards the cup in her hands.

"Well I am marrying you." Jane shrugs. "I'd hope I at least know how you like your coffee." She says as she leads Maura to sit. She goes into the kitchen to grab their plates, listening to her speak softly to Aaron.

She places her plate down and then Maura's.

"I didn't know you paid attention." Maura continues their conversation.

"I pay more attention than I let on." She answers with a peck to Maura's cheek before sitting down.

"It looks great, Jane. What did I do to deserve this treatment?" She chuckles as she begins to eat her meal.

"I've got to keep appearances up." She laughs. "You know, just until we're married and I've officially bagged myself a rich doctor." She jokes.

"Mhm." Maura hums. "And what makes you think I'll still marry you now that I know your plan?"

"Oh no! Foiled." Jane fake gasps, winking at a now grinning Aaron.

"How are you doing, honey?" Maura asks Aaron who had been silent since greeting Maura.

"I'm okay." He answers as he finishes up his meal.

"Did you have any more nightmares?" Maura worries.

"No." He responds. "Thank you for singing to me last night."

"You're very welcome. If you want to sleep more you can take a nap later." She tells him while Jane just stares at her. She's never heard Maura sing and yet she sang Aaron to sleep last night. She kind of wishes she hadn't been left so sexually frustrated so she could have joined her and witnessed it.

"May I be excused?" He asks politely once he is done with his food.

"Yes you may." Maura tells him. "Would you like me to turn on some cartoons for you to watch?"

"Yes please."

It's weird how Jane can't take her eyes off Maura whenever she's interacting with Aaron. Every time she sees Maura and how good she is with him and how warm and maternal she is, she just can't wait to see it every day. She can't wait till Maura is the mother of their children. And it kind of scares her but it also excites her, how badly she wants this. How badly and how soon she wants to expand her family with Maura. It's alarming how much her mind has changed since yesterday afternoon.

"Is everything okay?" Maura asks breaking her from her thoughts.

"Hmmm. Yeah." She answers once she recollects herself and notices Aaron is poised in front of the television.

"Are you done?" Maura questions looking down at Jane's plate.

"Yeah." She says just as Maura grabs hers and goes for the other two on the table.

"Maur, I got it." She goes to protest but Maura continues to take them towards the kitchen.

"You cooked." She insists and Jane gives in. She leans against the counter and watches the boy in the living room and the cartoon he is watching.

"He's very polite." Jane notes about the boy.

"He is. His parents made sure he knew his manners." Maura sighs.

"He didn't want to eat this morning until everyone was at the table." Jane informs her. "He said his mother told him it was impolite."

"He's a very good kid."

"It just pisses me off. He had good parents. Kathy was obviously a better mother than Janice would ever be. And now he has to grow up without them." Jane seethes, her jaw clenching.

"Jane, I know you'll bring justice to those who deserve it." Maura eases, placing a comforting hand on Jane's.

She gives Maura a small smile before she retreats back to the dishes. "It just sucks that his childhood has just been ripped from under him." She says glumly as she goes back to studying the television. "I remember Saturday cartoons with my brothers." Jane reminisces. "They've changed a lot."

"I never really watched much TV when I was a child." Maura remembers sadly. "The only television we had in the house was in my nanny's room. Sometimes she'd disobey my mother and let me watch. Otherwise, my entertainment was found through reading."

Jane moves closer to Maura and wraps her arms around her waist while she washes. "And it's why you're the most intelligent, amazing woman I know, Maura Isles."

"Still." Maura sighs. "I missed out on a lot of aspects of a normal childhood."

Jane frowns at that. "What are the chances he'll have a normal childhood again?"

"He's going to need lots of help, Jane." She whispers. "Lots of special care and probably a few psychologists, a grief counselor. I guess the biggest fear right now with him is PTSD. He shows signs of withdrawal. But studies also find that the loss of a parent in childhood may have drastic effects in adulthood. Statistics show risk of anxiety and substance abuse problems later in life. The largest hope he has is that Lisa will be a good substitute parent and will be able to help him heal."

"And if it's not enough?" Jane worries.

"I don't know, Jane" She answers sadly. Jane tightens her hold on her a bit and they revel in each other for a moment trying to find comfort from the other.

"You should stay home with Aaron today." Jane says, breaking their sad silence.

"No, Jane." She protests. "I want to come in. Maybe I can go over the evidence again and find something."

"Maur, he needs you. And Lisa is going to need your help with him. I think you should write out what she needs to know and see if you can find a good psychologist for her in New York. Just get everything prepared. Please, for Aaron's sake." She pleads.

"Okay." She gives in.

"Okay?"

"Yes."

"Good." Jane gives her a brief kiss before releasing her. "I'll call you when Lisa gets in. Hopefully everything will be wrapped up tight by then." She turns to get ready for work but stops and turns back to Maura. "I love you." She says turning and leaving only when Maura returns it.

* * *

Jane's sitting in the interrogation room with Frost and Julia at her side, Janice sitting cross-armed across from them.

"You can't keep me here forever and you certainly can't keep my son from me." She snarls.

"No but you can bet that if you had anything to do with the death of his parents-"

"Parent!" She bites. "That bitch wasn't his mother."

"I'm sensing a lot of hostility. Certainly sounds like motive to me." Frost notes.

"I told you I was working." She protests.

"Oh yes. At the diner on 13th right?" Frost asks for confirmation.

"Yes." She growls.

"Hmm. You see the man we have in custody right now liked to eat there often." Jane says, pulling a picture and placing it in front of the angry brunette.

"If you've got someone in custody then why are you holding me and keeping me from my son." She demands angrily, not even sparing a glance at the photo.

"Just a few follow-up questions to get our facts straight." Jane explains. "Do you know this man?"

She glances down and back up seconds later. "Nope. Can I go now?"

"You've never waited on him? Because, your co-workers say otherwise." Frost adds.

"I wait on tons of people, why would I remember some creep." She bites.

"Well the women you work with said he comes in often, only when you're working, and always asks for you. I doubt he'd be easy to forget." Jane baits.

"Like I said, the guy's a creep." Janice fumes.

"That "creep" killed Aaron's parents with no motive whatsoever. Now, I don't believe in coincidence, so do you want to try again?" Jane demands.

"So maybe on some bad days I complained about my asshole ex who wouldn't let me see my kid. He was just some creep and he's obviously obsessive. Maybe he decided to try to win my favor. That's not my fault. I didn't know he was crazy." She tries to explain away the correlation.

"So you just happened to spill specifics so that this man could find the Douglas's house and kill them?" She asks unconvinced.

"Maybe." She hisses. "I see what you're doing and it's not going to work. I didn't do anything and if I'm not under arrest you can't hold me."

"You're right, we can't." Jane confirms. "You're free to go…for now."

She promptly stomps out and Jane grins clicking off the recording device she was hiding. "What do you say we bring Perkins back in. We might have got enough to convince him to turn on her."

* * *

"Mr. Perkins your story doesn't hold up. There is no motive but the evidence doesn't lie and it's insurmountable." Julia informs the still silent man. They've been trying to convince him for the past twenty minutes.

"If my guilt is so obvious then why am I here?" He mumbles solemnly.

"I could cut you a deal if you tell us the truth. The jury isn't going to be sympathetic especially when they hear of the little boy you've left orphaned." She pushes.

"I told you I don't know why I did it." He sighs not changing his story.

"So it had nothing to do with the relationship you had with Janice Royce?" Jane asks hoping she's steering this is the right direction.

He gulps and wrings his hands under the table and Jane doesn't need Maura to tell her he's nervous and preparing to lie.

"I don't know who that is." He says almost like a drone programmed to say these things.

"Mr. Perkins, if you give us information on her we can reduce your sentence." Julia tries to get him to give up info.

"She didn't do anything." He murmurs and Jane sees his façade cracking.

"So you know her?" Jane asks.

"Yes. No. She works at the diner down the street. I see her from time to time."

"Mr. Perkins. Daniel." Jane tries. "I know it's more than that. You love her but you can't throw your life away for her, especially if she doesn't feel the same way."

"She does." He argues and Jane knows she's got him as she presses play on the tape at the moment she paused it at for this moment.

_So maybe on some bad days I complained about my asshole ex who wouldn't let me see my kid. He was just some creep and he's obviously obsessive. Maybe he decided to try to win my favor. That's not my fault. I didn't know he was crazy._

"She didn't say that." He protests.

"She did." Frost insists. "She used you Daniel. Are you going to let her get away with it? With lying to you so you'd do her dirty work?"

He's crying now and Jane finds it a little sad that he was so devoted that he'd throw his life away to give her what she wanted.

Julia places a hand on his. "Let us help you." She says comfortingly and it's all it takes for him to break.

Thirty minutes later and his confession and plea deal is signed and dated and Frost and Frankie should be back any minute with Janice in tow again.

They're heading out the interrogation room, Perkins in cuffs, when they pass the now entering Janice.

"You idiot." She growls at Daniel. "You had one damn job."

"You never loved me. You used me." He says remorsefully.

"Of course I couldn't love you. You couldn't even keep your mouth shut." She yells as he retreats, head down.

"Was it worth it?" Jane asks. "Ruining your son's childhood? Taking away his family? And for what? Absolutely nothing."

Janice responds only by baring her teeth as Frost pulls her off. Jane sighs and heads off to write up the paperwork for the case. A case closed but still sad nonetheless. Nobody wins and one woman manages to screw up the lives of multiple people.

She calls Andrea and informs her of the situation and promises to notify her when Lisa arrives so they can all meet and she can give her the details of what will need to be done regarding Aaron's custody.

She's crossing her T's and dotting her I's on her report when she's paged downstairs. She calls Andrea again, and texts Maura to warn her that her and Lisa should be around soon and heads down to meet the woman.

When she steps into the lobby she's greeted by a gorgeous red head with blue eyes. She's surprised by how young the woman is. It's obvious she's the younger of the siblings. "You must be Lisa." She greets, extending a hand for her to shake.

"Yes, and you're Detective Isles?" She greets her nervously.

"Detective Rizzoli." She corrects. "Dr. Isles is my partner and the M.E. You can call me Jane."

"Forgive me, my head is just a little jumbled." She apologizes.

"You're anxious?" Jane wonders earning a timid nod from the woman. "You'll be fine. Aaron is a wonderful boy."

"I'm sure he is." She says truthfully.

"Well we should go meet him. I'd be happy to drive." Jane asks, leading the woman out.

When they arrive Jane's aware of an unknown vehicle and she's sure it belongs to Andrea.

"What's this?" Jane wonders as she walks in, with Lisa following, to find the three of them playing a board game in the dining room.

"Your mom stopped by with a few things to help keep Aaron occupied today and Andrea got here and decided to join in on a little fun." Maura explains. She stands to lead them away to talk.

"You must be Lisa, I'm Maura." She greets her once they are out of Aaron's ear shot.

"Nice to meet you." She says, her eyes glancing between Maura and the table where her nephew sits.

"Board games can provide an easy way for family bonding. A sense of boding provides a child with comfort and helps relieve them of stress." She rambles upon shaking the redhead's hand.

"Maura is a doctor and she's got a lot of advice for you when it comes to making sure Aaron is happy and healthy." Jane excuses Maura's awkward googlemouth.

"He's gotten so big." Lisa notes upon looking at him.

"How long has it been since you've seen him?" Jane asks.

"At least two years." She says sadly. "Tim and I had a disagreement. We never got to reconcile. We never got to fix everything." She cries.

"You can." Maura eases her. "By looking after his son and making sure he grows up to make his parents proud."

"What if I can't be enough for him?" She worries.

"He's a wonderful boy. He's well mannered and smart. He needs guidance and love and you can easily give that to him." Maura insists.

"You're married?" Jane asks noting the rings on her left hand.

"Yes, I just married."

"Then you can already offer him a family. That's what he needs most of all. Jane and I can help in any way you need. You won't be the only one in this." Maura promises.

"You and your husband can do way better than any foster home." Jane adds.

"Wife." Lisa corrects. "That's what Tim and I fought about. He didn't approve of my lifestyle and he wouldn't approve of us raising his son."

"Don't let your brother's mistake and close-mindedness affect your decision about Aaron. He needs a family and he doesn't judge." Maura presses.

"He probably doesn't even recognize me." She says sadly.

"There is only one way to find out." Jane reasons.

Lisa nods and bites her lip but gives in when Maura takes her hand and helps her towards Aaron.

She kneels in front of the boy and has no idea what to do or say. She settles with a simple "Hi."

"Hi." He mimics shyly.

"Do you know who I am?" She asks softly.

"Aunt Lisa." He declares and she can't help the smile the breaks out.

"That's right." She exclaims. "You remember me?"

He smiles and nods and the tension in the room drops immediately.

"How about you all stay for dinner and we can all talk and get to know each other a bit, especially you and Aaron." Maura suggests heading towards the kitchen.

Jane follows and finds her pulling out lasagna from the oven. "You cooked?"

"I did." She affirms.

"Just for this occasion." She smiles. "Maura you're a lot better with live people and emotions than you'll ever allow yourself to realize." She compliments while grabbing place settings for their guests.

* * *

They've talked for hours and Maura cannot be surer that Lisa will do a wonderful job with Aaron. They're standing in the foyer saying goodbye and Jane can see Maura is holding back tears, especially when Aaron says goodbye to them and asks if he'll see Maura again.

Maura kneels in front of him and after Lisa nods at her she says "Anytime you want you can call me on the phone and if Aunt Lisa doesn't mind we'll come visit you." She looks to Lisa before adding "or if you'd like, our home is open for you all to visit anytime." She finishes while motioning between Jane and herself.

Jane's pretty sure it's the first time it dawns on Lisa that they're together and she sees the changes in her face as she puts it together. It's a good change as she realizes she's in the home of a wonderful couple who truly understands her and is on her side. "I'd love that and really, thank you both for everything." She responds and smiles as Aaron hugs Maura tightly.

"Promise you'll call either of us if you ever need anything." Maura asks, rising to her feet after releasing the boy. "I've written out everything I've already told you about caring for him, I've written down contact info for one of the best counselors in New York and I've also given you both of our numbers."

"Maura thank you. You've done so much. We'll do our best."

"You guys will be great." Maura promises.

"Bye little buddy. It was fun having you around." Jane says as she tousles the boy's hair. She gives in and hugs him when he puts two arms up in demand. She hugs him tightly, secretly sad to see him go.

"You guys have done such a great job, you should consider fostering." Andrea chimes in.

Jane looks at Maura briefly and then speaks. "I don't think those cards are on the table right now."

"Think about it." She presses before reaching for the door. "We've got a bit more to discuss." She says to Lisa as she follows them out.

Maura closes the door and sighs as she leans her back against it.

The shuddering breath she hears come from Maura hurts Jane as much as she's sure Aaron's absence does to her. She does the only thing instincts tells her to do and wraps Maura in a tight embrace. "I love you." She whispers into Maura's hair and tightens her hold as Maura sniffles.

She pulls them to the couch and Maura curls into Jane's side, her head tucked into Jane's collar. She holds Maura tightly, her arm wrapped around her waist to keep her together as she sniffles lightly on her shoulder. She didn't expect it to affect Maura this much. She says the only words she can think of right now.

"Soon." She whispers as she kisses Maura's forehead lightly. "Soon, Maura." It works as Maura's sniffles die down and she nuzzles into Jane's neck.

"Are you sure?" Maura murmurs lightly and it's another thing that kind of hurts Jane. Maura's questioning of whether it's what she really wants.

"As soon as we're married." She answers and silence falls on them. She decides that now's a time to open up like she promised and prove to Maura that she's telling to truth.

"When we have kids, I want them to be just like you." Jane starts, ending the silence. "Smart and pensive; warm and witty, talented and charismatic; beautiful and loving and polite and so, so gentle. I want them to have your green eyes, and your beautiful honey blonde hair; your brain and most importantly, your perfect smile that lights up the room and my life. I want you to teach them all the languages you know and teach them how to be as proper as you and I want them to be filled with all the knowledge you can give them."

"Jane." Maura sniffles, tears returning to her eyes. "I want them to be strong like you. I want them to be brave and loyal and keen and sarcastic. I want them to have your dark curls and your magnificent bone structure. I want them to be just like you. I want them to know everything there is to know about baseball and the red sox and I want them to enjoy themselves just like you do. I want you to give them the knowledge of what it's like to be a child even when they should act grown up. I don't ever want them to grow up." She argues.

"Maura I don't want them to be like me. I want a bunch of little yous running around. You've got the better genes."

Maura lifts her head to stare Jane in the eye determined to change her mind. "No Jane, you and your genes are perfect and I want a little you. I want our own little Rizzoli." She protests. When Jane tries to argue she kisses her. "Don't argue with me. We'll have one of each." Biting her lip, hoping she hasn't asked for too much.

"At _least _one of each." Jane adds slipping her hand under Maura's shirt to palm her abdomen. Maura kisses her softly and sweetly and threads her fingers with hers on her stomach, swelling with joy at what Jane's agreeing to.

"At least one of each." She repeats. It's quiet for a moment before she speaks again. "I think we should get married in the beginning of July."

"So soon?" Jane asks. "That's hardly enough time to plan a dream wedding, Maur."

"I told you I want a small wedding, Jane. All that matters is that you're there to say I do." She insists.

"You're sure?"

"I just want to be Mrs. Maura Rizzoli, we're not getting any younger." She says lightly.

"Rizzoli? You want to take my last name?" She questions.

"Isn't that usually how it works?"

"I just figured you'd want to hyphenate, like Isles-Rizzoli or Rizzoli-Isles." She clarifies.

"I've felt like a Rizzoli since I first attended a Rizzoli Sunday dinner. I'd like to take your last name." She explains. "As long as that's okay with you."

"That's more than okay with me."

"I'll still go by Dr. Isles, though. Just so it's not confusing." She adds.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Jane sighs happily.

"Good." Maura says before pressing her lips to Jane's. "Now that that's settled, can I finally make love to my beautiful fiancée?"

"God, Maur, I thought you'd never ask." Jane gasps, pulling the blonde down on top of her, sighing contently as their hips fit together like a puzzle.

The perfect fit.


	39. Chapter 39

**Hey guys! Sorry for how long I've been gone. School was crazy and busy; 15 credits of pure science and math classes ate away my entire life this semester and then my computer broke so I lost what little I had written. However I'm back and on top of this story again and I promise I will finish it. Thanks to my Beta for editing this for me, she's the best.**

**Enjoy guys and review if you please.**

* * *

Maura wakes up the next morning in a bit of a haze. She doesn't quite remember how the two of them made it to bed last night other than the fact that during one round, she's not sure which, they clumsily fell into it. Her body aches in multiple places and she'd be lying if they weren't some of the best aches she's ever had. She lifts her head to fully assess the current situation when she pieces together that their arrival to bed was in fact hasty and heated, if she takes into account that she's lying almost fully on Jane, legs tangled, and they're halfway down the bed with Jane's feet extending past its end. She looks at the clock and notices that it's well past noon, the latest she's slept in probably a good few years.

It's Saturday and since they just closed Aaron's case, until another body turns up they're free aside from paperwork that can wait until Monday. She hopes they don't get called in so they can enjoy their weekend without interruption.

A small moan pulls Maura's attention away from the clock and onto Jane's peaceful face. Knowing her own stamina, Maura is sure Jane is probably way more tuckered out than she is. She decides against waking up her fiancée, the term making her giddy every time she thinks about it. When she tries to pull herself away though, Jane groans and pulls her back in.

"Where are you going?" She hears the brunette rasp out.

"Baby it's noon, I'm going to take a shower." She tells her sweetly.

"Sleep more." Jane supplies without even opening an eye.

Maura nuzzles into her neck and kisses her gently before moving up to her cheek and planting another feather light kiss there. "I'm not tired anymore, love. Get some more sleep."

When Jane's long arms still don't release her, she lowers her lips to Jane's and kisses her softly, feeling Jane respond weakly. "I'll just be in the shower, I promise." She whispers against Jane's lips and afterwards feels her arms go slack. She crawls out of bed and heads toward the shower when she hears a faint "I love you" from the sleeping brunette. It brings a smile to her face and she feels something blossom within her chest because Jane Rizzoli loves her and she's going to marry the love of her life.

She whispers "I love you too" before shutting the door to the bathroom and turning the shower on to its highest setting to sooth her aching muscles.

When Maura finally exits the bathroom, she's surprised to find the bed empty and made with Jane nowhere in sight. She throws on one of Jane's t-shirts and shorts in hopes of coaxing the brunette back into bed so they can have a lazy Saturday. She hears music coming from throughout the house and follows it towards the living room where she finds Jane standing in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal on the counter.

"You know we have a table right?" She mocks.

"Did't feel 'ike si'ing." Jane says through a mouth full of Cocoa Puffs.

Maura rolls her eyes at her behavior and unhealthy choice of breakfast. "I thought I'd broken you of your habit for sugary breakfast cereals. I was actually coming down to make you breakfast. Why are you up, and dressed and listening to music?"

"Honey this love for Cocoa Puffs can't be broken and gosh Maur so many questions. I was woken up by a phone call. I've got to go meet someone." She explains.

"Jane" Maura pouts, "I wanted to have a lazy day today. Can't you meet them on Monday?"

"I can't. I promise I won't be gone long and then I'll come back with a late lunch and we can do whatever you want the rest of the day." Jane supplies instead.

"Who are you meeting?" She wonders.

"Just an old resource for a case, they've come back into town and I just want to see how they're doing and keep ties in case we ever need their help again." Jane answers.

Maura eyes her suspiciously for a moment, not quite sure to believe her vague response, but decides to trust her and not pry. "Okay" she sighs sadly. "You never told me why you were listening to music."

"Oh, I went to turn on the TV to watch the news and hit the wrong button, but this is a good song." Jane explains while swaying her hips a bit to the hard piano riffs. When she sees the confusion of Maura's face she drops her jaw. "Come on Maur you don't know this song? It's Elton John, babe." She practically shouts.

Maura just shakes her head and is surprised when Jane pulls her closer and starts singing along.

_Oh, Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet_

_But they're so spaced out, B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets_

_Oh But they're weird and they're wonderful_

_Oh Bennie she's really keen_

She pulls the now laughing blonde along in her movements and even twirls her once while the music keeps playing.

"I was unaware of how wonderful your singing voice was." Maura jokes.

"Okay so falsettos aren't my strong suit." Jane laughs along with Maura. "But according to Aaron you sing pretty well."

"I get by." Maura blushes.

"Well, you know I've gotta hear you sing before I can marry you. It's only fair."

"You will someday." Maura responds coyly, pulling away from Jane's grip.

"Wait, wait wait." Jane stops her, pulling her back in.

"What's wrong?" Maura asks.

"Nothing, this is just a really good song." Jane explains before stepping closer to her and swaying softly to the soft guitar intro that's begun playing.

She isn't aware of how romantic it is until she hears the first lines of the song sung along by Jane in her ear.

_I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you_

_Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you _

She holds her fiancée tighter as they sway in the kitchen to the song and she can't help but realize this is the first time they've danced together.

"You're pretty light on your feet." Maura comments.

"You know I did take ballet for a few years." Jane chuckles in her ear and it sends a shiver down her spine.

"Yes, well you're quite good." Maura compliments, holding her tighter as she realizes she never wants to let go.

"This just makes me realize we'll have to pick a song for our first dance."

"That among many things." Maura adds while tucking her head onto Jane's shoulder.

"We've got time." Jane says softly. "We've still got to tell my mother."

"Can't we just hide it until everything is planned and we don't have to worry about her being overbearing?" Maura wonders as she closes her eyes and gets lost in the movement.

"The only way to hide it is to take that ring off your finger." Jane says.

"That's not happening, ever."

"Good." Jane smiles while pressing a kiss to Maura's cheek.

After a few more moments of silent swaying Maura breaks the silence. "Why don't we use this song?"

"For our first dance?" Jane asks, confused.

"Yeah, why not?" Maura responds.

"I thought you'd want something kind of traditional." Jane shrugs.

"This is the song we're sharing our first dance to so why not be our first dance as a married couple." She explains.

"This is the first time we've ever danced? Damn, Maur I'm sorry I should have-"

"Jane, this is a perfect first dance. I wouldn't have it any other way." Maura interrupts her worries. "So this song?"

"Yeah, this song Maura." Jane agrees as the song ends. "We just made our first wedding decision."

"We did." Maura repeats excitedly. She pulls Jane's face down and kisses her softly before pushing her towards the door. "Now go finish what you need to do quickly so I can spend the rest of my day with my gorgeous soon to be wife."

"Yes ma'am, so pushy." Jane growls while grabbing her keys and phone before throwing on her jacket. When she reaches the door she turns and walks back towards Maura. "Don't change okay?" She asks, finally taking notice of what Maura's wearing. "I always love you in my clothes."

Maura smiles when Jane kisses her cheek and whispers "I love you" as she rushes out the door.

* * *

Jane pulls up to the diner she's agreed to meet at and sits in her car to think. She lays her head against the steering wheel and fiddles with an object in her pocket while she gathers her thoughts. When she realizes she can't stall any longer, she pulls her keys out of the ignition and steps out, pulling the collar up on her jacket when the cold wind assaults her neck.

It only takes her a few seconds in the diner to spot the honey blonde hair similar to the kind she's sees every day sitting in a far off corner of the diner. She walks over to the woman in the booth and sits opposite of her. An awkward silence looms until the blonde breaks it.

"Good morning Jane, I'd like to thank you for meeting me today at such short notice."

"Why after over a month of me trying to contact you have you finally decided to give in, Dr. Martin?" She asks with a hint of distaste in her words.

"Please, call me Hope. I'm sorry, but when you first called I wasn't ready. Jane you must know that this is difficult for me. Finding out that Maura was m-my child, that Maura was alive, it's not easy." She defends herself.

"So everything was easy for Maura? Being rejected by her biological mother after all she wanted to do was help you? She was trying to anonymously give your daughter a kidney to save her life and you accused her of wanting something from you." Jane fumes.

"Look Jane, I didn't come here to argue. I won't say you're wrong. I made a mistake in doing what I did and I said some awful things to Maura, words I wish I could take back. I was stupid and hurtful, but I was in shock. I had to confront a part of my life I have been avoiding for over 30 years and then it was right in front of me again. I panicked and there is no excuse for it, but I want to say I'm sorry to Maura and I'd like it if you could help me." Hope pleads.

"And how am I supposed to know that you're not trying to get Maura to forgive you so she'll offer her kidney again?" Jane demands. "You accused her of wanting something from you, but how do I know you won't use her just to save your "real" child?"

"I deserve your skepticism, I do. But please just give me the chance to prove that I just want to fix my mistakes. I've done a lot of thinking and I'm ready to try to be a part of Maura's life if she'll allow me. I would have no hard feelings if she doesn't want to give Kailyn her kidney. I just want her forgiveness." She explains.

"I really can't promise that Maura can forgive you. She's the most forgiving person I know, but Hope, you really hurt her and if she can't forgive you then I most definitely cannot." Jane says truthfully.

"If you're not here to help me then why have you been trying to contact me?" Hope questions.

"I have something that belongs to you and I need to return it." She explains as she pulls out the ring Paddy gave her.

Hope gasps as she recognizes it instantly. "How did you-"

"Paddy gave it to me. He wanted me to use it to propose to Maura." She interrupts her before handing it over. "I have no way to contact Paddy so you were the next best thing."

"I wasn't aware that you and Maura were-"

"We weren't when you first came around, but we are now and I'm very protective over her and her feelings so if you hurt her again I can't promise I won't hurt you." Jane advises.

"I don't know if I can take this Jane. Why did you not use it? Did you not want to propose?" She wonders as she tries to hand the ring back.

"I need you to take it Hope. I can't keep it and I can't give it back to Paddy." She begs as she pushes Hope's hand away. "I did propose and she accepted, lucky you, you're the first to know, but you'll keep that under wraps until we announce it tomorrow at dinner." Jane says almost threateningly.

"I wouldn't tell anyone Jane it's not like I speak to any of your family." She says as she finally pockets the ring.

"You don't understand, tomorrow at dinner you won't say anything until we make the announcement." She presses.

"I, okay." Hope stutters.

"Hope, I'm saying I want you to come to dinner tomorrow. Be at Maura's house around seven, the whole family will be there so it will be a nice neutral zone. But there will also be four cops there so you might want to tread lightly. I'm putting my engagement at risk for you, so you're not just speaking to me in hopes of asking Maura to donate a kidney right?" Jane asks.

"No, I promise I'd just like to apologize."

"Good." Jane says as she gets up. "I suggest you don't bring Kailyn around just yet." She adds before walking off towards the counter to order lunch for her and Maura.

* * *

It doesn't hit her until she's lying in bed with Maura wrapped up in her arms as they finish watching another movie. The guilt of lying to the woman she's madly in love with, again. But she knows that if she had told Maura she never would have agreed. Something in her makes her trust Hope. She doesn't necessarily like her, probably because of those nights that Maura would cry and all Jane could do was hold her. But she trusts that Hope won't make the same mistake again. As much as Maura said she just wanted Hope to be okay with her existence, Jane knows that Maura yearns to have Hope be proud of her, to have her not regret her existence. She knows Maura never would agree to face Hope again because she is still hurt, but she also knows she is doing the right thing. Even though it is risking Maura's trust in her again she's willing to put it on the line in hopes of fixing at least one of her biological family ties.

"Hey" Maura says breaking her from her thoughts. She leans her head up and brushes a kiss to Jane's temple before nuzzling into her dark curls. "What's on your mind?"

"Uh nothing. I'm just thinking." Jane stutters.

"About?" Maura wonders.

"Family is important to you right Maura?" She asks.

"Yes, absolutely. You know I've had an abnormal one, but I'm so happy to be a part of yours." Maura answers.

"And, you know, you're not opposed to our family growing, you'd accept that?" She continues to ask.

"Yes, absolutely." Maura grins excitedly.

"You trust me?"

"With my life. Jane what's going on?" She worries as she lifts her head to look her in the eye.

Jane sits up and decides it's best to tell her now rather than blindside her tomorrow.

"Maura, I know you're going to be mad with me and you have every right to be. But you've got to understand I had your best interests at heart. I know you don't have a hateful bone in your body and I don't want you to hate anyone, especially your family and so I just had to try to fix it." She rambles nervously.

"Jane what did you do?" Maura asks softly.

"I went to see Hope today-"

"You lied to me?" Maura interrupts.

"No, she was an old resource, I didn't lie." Jane explains.

"So you just withheld information because that's not lying at all." Maura exclaims angrily. "Why would you even contact her?"

"I needed to give her something." Jane says calmly trying not to turn things into an argument, especially before she tells Maura the rest.

"What could you possibly have to give her? Another thing you've kept from me?" She demands.

"An engagement ring Maura, I had a reason to hide that."

"An engagement ring?" Maura asks, her voice finally lowering.

"Yes, Paddy Doyle gave it to me-"

"You've been in contact with Paddy too? Jane the FBI was all over us for weeks." Maura exclaims, the brief period of lowered voices broken by her returning anger.

"No. He dropped it off in a letter directed to me. Maura I couldn't tell you about the engagement ring because it would have ruined my proposal. Listen please, Hope was the only one who I could return the ring to, I had no use for it since I wanted to pick your ring myself. I tried contacting her for months and she never responded, but this morning she called me and asked me to meet her so I did." Jane tells her.

"So what, she finally realized she made a mistake and she needs me to save the daughter whose existence she doesn't hate? You told me months ago that I should keep my kidney and now what, are you siding with her?" Maura fumes.

"Do you really think I went there to auction off your kidney? I went to give her the ring, Maura that's all." Jane promises, hoping to calm Maura's uncharacteristic temper.

"Okay. So that's it?" She asks.

"No, there is more." Jane sighs. "I went to give her the ring Maura, that's all I went there for. But we talked and you know me, you know I'm not quick to forgive, but she's sorry. She made a mistake and she wants to apologize. I told her she could come to dinner tomorrow." Jane says flinching as Maura jumps out of bed in anger.

"You're kidding me right?" She snaps.

"Maura you just told me family is important, she's your mother, give her a chance." Jane begs.

"My mother! She is not my mother; she's no more than a surrogate, a DNA donor. Even you've said before that I owe her nothing, that it's not my fault she's my biological mother and now you're best friends? And on top of all the lying you've invited her to what is supposed to be our announcement dinner." Maura yells.

"Since when do you listen to me when I say things like that? Do you hear yourself right now Maura. You would never say something like this. You're angry, and I understand why. I myself am still pissed off at Hope for what she said to you. You tried to save her daughter's life for nothing in return and she treated you like crap. I held you while you cried, I hate seeing you cry and if I could, I'd put a bullet in the next person to make you cry, even if it's me. But listen to yourself right now. Listen to how angry you are, how spiteful you're being. This isn't you and you're allowing your anger to get the best of you. You see, I don't want you to forgive Hope because she deserves it. I don't think she deserves it. But she is a part of your life even if it's just DNA and I know how hurt you are. I think you should forgive her for yourself, so you can feel better. I know you still hurt Maura, that's why you're reacting this way. You need to forgive her so **you**can have closure and so **you** will feel better." Jane rants.

She's left panting by how much she's said in such little breath, but she hopes she's said enough to convince Maura to at least attempt to forgive her and Hope. When Maura just stands there without saying anything she speaks up again.

"I deserve every bit of anger you have towards me right now, but I won't say I've made a mistake. I know that I can't gain your trust if I keep lying to you, but I **promise** I will **never **lie to you again. I just needed to fix this and you, I needed to try and help you and Hope at least be civil because it's the right thing to do." Jane presses.

"I'll take any punishment you give me, any amount of anger or hurt you have towards me as long as you please try to forgive, because I know that's who you are and I know you're not a hateful person so stop forcing yourself to hate. I know that's what you're doing, you want to forgive Hope, but you're forcing yourself not to give in; you're forcing yourself to hate her. But you can't; you're the nicest person I know Maura, that's one of the reasons I love you." Jane finishes before getting out of bed, she knows where Maura's terseness is heading and she's decided to head there first.

"I'll sleep on the couch, you have the bed." She says as she grabs a pillow and heads towards the door.

"Don't." Maura stops her halfway across the room. "I'll sleep in the guest room." She says as she heads out, leaving a stunned Jane behind.

"Come on Maura." Jane yells after her, but gets nothing but a slamming door in return. She's officially managed to piss off the calmest, least temperamental person she's ever met, the day before she's supposed to tell everyone they're getting married.

Now she's tossing and turning and scared to look at the clock again. The last time she checked it was past one and that was at least an hour ago. She's had plenty of time to think, in fact that's all she can do since she can't fall asleep with Maura being so unhappy with her. She's replaying everything in her head and she's pinpointed every moment she's done wrong, but she hasn't found one thing she wants to change. She sighs and turns over once again as she replays today's events again. She reaches the same result and she's pretty sure she is going mad.

She turns again when she hears the door to her room open. "Maura?" She whispers as she sits up to see her fiancée standing in the doorway.

Maura walks over to the bed and crawls in wordlessly and even that is enough to bring some hope into Jane.

"I can't sleep without you." Is all Maura says before turning over and laying down.

Jane lies next to her silently and tries to sleep with what little peace having Maura next to her can bring, but she still can't and when she hears Maura exhale loudly she's sure she's not alone.

She feels the bed shift as Maura turns to her. "I can't sleep without you and I can't sleep with you while I'm angry at you."

"I'm sorry." Jane says as she turns to face her. "I can't sleep either."

Maura sighs again and silence cascades down on them.

"I really am sorry Maura." Jane pleads.

"I know." Maura says.

"Tell me what you want me to do?" Jane begs.

"I don't know." Maura sighs. "Just-" is all she says as she pulls Jane's arm around her and lays her head on her shoulder like they lay every night.

"Does this mean you're still going to marry me?" Jane asks hopefully.

"Jane I'm not going to break up with you because of this." Maura breathes through a small laugh. "In fact, I thought about it, and you're right. I need to fix my problems with Hope. I was mean and angry and I'm not that person."

"I'm right?" Jane wonders in surprise.

"Yes, you are." Maura relents, hints of tiredness tingeing her voice. "I'm just upset because now I've got to face Hope tomorrow and I'm completely unprepared so I'd at least like to get some sleep."

"Okay." Jane accepts softly, finally allowing sleep to reach her. She tightens her hold on Maura and relaxes more when she feels the blonde's fingers follow down her forearm to tangle into the gaps of her own fingers.

"I am still not okay with you lying to me." Maura grumbles sleepily into Jane's shoulder.

"I know." Jane responds, kissing Maura's forehead. "I'm really sorry baby."

It's minutes later when she thinks Maura is finally asleep and she's about to follow that the blonde speaks again. She feels her eyes weighing heavily until Maura's voice breaks her into consciousness.

"I thought you were going to ask to have a baby tonight." Maura whispers and Jane only has to think back an instant on what she's said, the night still fresh in her mind, to understand how Maura got that idea.

"I'm so sorry." The word making a seemingly infinite utterance from the brunette.

Maura just hums a response and nuzzles further into her before falling asleep, Jane now wide awake again. Another hour passes before she finally falls asleep, laying another feather light kiss to Maura's honey blonde hair and a whispered sorry in the air.


	40. Chapter 40

**Hey guys! Here's chapter 40. Happy holidays and thanks to all who serve our country.**

**Thanks to my Beta for reviewing this.**

**Enjoy and review if you please.**

* * *

When Jane awakes in the morning, it's to an empty bed. After what she's done to Maura she wouldn't be surprised if her fiancée doesn't want to wake up next to her for the rest of the month and she's not going to blame her.

She gets out of bed and decides to find the blonde to assess how angry she still is. She knows it's a good thing that Maura came back last night and it's probably in her favor that she wanted to cuddle with her. But she's also aware the Maura wanted sleep and comfort and was willing to put her anger aside for the night to achieve it.

When she gets downstairs she finds Maura fluttering about, cleaning in a fury of anxiety. She looks over to see Maura's laptop on the counter, with multiple tabs open and she's sure they'll be getting a visit from the mailman every day for the next two weeks at least.

"Maura." She says hoping to break the blonde from her trance, but she ignores her and continues to run around like a chicken with its head cut off. When more shouts of her name don't stop her, Jane resorts to gently grabbing her arm to get her attention.

"Maur, you need to calm down. Tonight isn't about impressing Hope, she should be coming to grovel at your feet. Not the other way around." Jane explains calmly.

She's shocked when Maura collapses into her and wraps her arms around her. "I know." Maura mumbles, sounding slightly muffled by Jane's shoulder. "I'm just not ready to confront her."

Jane strokes back Maura's unkempt hair and tries to console her. "Maura you'll be okay. She's just going to apologize and if anything goes wrong, and I mean anything, Frankie, Frost, Korsak and Tommy will be here to intervene and make her leave if they have to. Plus I'll be with you every step of the way, I promise." She hushes.

"I'm going to need to talk to her alone, Jane." Maura groans, tightening her hold on her detective.

"Hey, look at me." She says, pushing Maura's chin up so they're eye to eye. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I want to, but I'm just so worried about it. I mean, I was mean Jane. I called her nothing more than a surrogate, a DNA donor. What if I'm like that to her?" Maura worries.

"Hey, you have every right to be mean to her." She reassures her with a peck on her forehead. "Until then, you should relax and not let your anxiety get the best of you."

"Where are we going?" Maura asks as Jane pulls her through the house and back up the stairs.

"I'm gonna run you a hot bath and then make you some tea and breakfast for when you get out. I just want you to relax all day okay? No worrying." Jane informs her.

"You're just doing this because you want me to forgive you." Maura comments while Jane starts running water in the bath.

"Half true, babe." She admits after plugging the tub and pouring in some of Maura's oils. She helps Maura into the tub, not even trying to hide her leering and heads towards the door once Maura is settled within the bubbles.

"Jane, where are you going?" Maura questions.

"I'm gonna go start breakfast." She repeats.

"Stay." Maura presses.

"But-"

"I forgave you last night when I fell asleep." Maura interrupts.

"And you couldn't let me know?" Jane asks sarcastically only to shut up when Maura gives her the eye. "Okay, okay."

"Just get in here." Maura demands.

"Sit up." She says as she strips off her clothes, not one to refuse a bath with the most beautiful woman she knows. She crawls in behind Maura and sighs as she sits back and Maura settles into her front. She grabs the washcloth from the side of the tub and begins to massage Maura's shoulders and back, taking her groans of pleasure as signs that she's doing well.

When she hits a particular spot Maura lets out a long moan, warmth pools in her stomach. She leans down and brushes a light kiss to Maura's neck earning another small moan from the blonde. She takes that as a sign to continue and trails her hands down towards Maura's abs when she releases a breathy "Jane" into the steamy bathroom.

Lazy kisses to Maura's neck become more urgent as her breathing picks up.

Maura grabs Jane's hands and leads them further south letting her know they're both on the same page.

Jane's kisses turn into sucking and biting as she places them haphazardly all over Maura's neck while she begins toying with her hipbones.

"Jane." Maura growls more urgently, not in the mood for teasing.

"Shhh Maur, let me take care of you." Jane whispers in her ear while finally delving a finger into her heat.

Maura's hips buck and Jane places a hand on her stomach to steady her as she slowly dips a finger into her. She waits till Maura starts panting with need before adding another.

In and out she speeds her pace trying to bring Maura to the edge. She knows she's almost there when Maura clasps a hand over Jane's on her stomach, squeezing rhythmically with Jane's thrusts. She brings her other arm around to tangle in Jane's dark tresses and pulls her down for as much of a kiss as she can handle (given her lack of oxygen).

Maura's moans grow louder, filling the bathroom. A screamed "Jane" breaks her sequence of moans when Jane unexpectedly adds a third finger and curls them sending Maura quickly over the edge, unable to make any noise other than her intense panting.

She brings Maura down slowly with soft strokes and gentle pecks, holding her tightly through the aftershocks. The up and down motions of Maura's chest begin to slow as she rests her sweaty forehead against Jane's neck.

When Jane's hands trail back to her stomach she tangles her fingers into Jane's. "We should fight more often if sex afterward is going to be like that." Maura chuckles breathily.

"I think I'll end up with the short end of the stick in that arrangement." Jane joins in with her laughter. "So how are you feeling now?"

"Hmmm." Maura hums before pulling Jane down for a languid kiss. "Much better."

Jane's about to respond when they hear the front door close from below and Angela's voice shouting for them downstairs.

Maura quickly hops out of the tub, all too aware that the door to their room and bathroom are open and Angela will come looking for them if they don't answer. Jane steadies Maura's wobbly legs before the blonde steps out, throws on her robe as quickly as possible and checks herself in the mirror. When she's as put together as she can manage she runs out to keep Angela from coming upstairs.

"Maura? Jane?" Angela continues to call from below. She's about to head upstairs when Maura comes down.

"Hello, Angela." She greets calmly.

Angela stares at her with little scrutiny, taking in her disheveled wet hair and her state of undress. "It's Sunday." Is all she says as she decides not to comment, all too aware of what she's just intruded on.

"Yes, Jane should be down any second." Maura tells her awkwardly. It's when she lifts her left hand to brush back her messy, wet locks that she hears Angela gasp loudly before she's hit with an unexpected force. It takes a few seconds before she realizes she's being wrapped into a tight hug by the woman.

"My Janie finally asked!" She practically shouts, nearly deafening the blonde who begins to hug back, realizing now that Angela has already spotted the ring.

"Ma, I can't marry her if you suffocate her." Jane says as she steps into the room to see her mother practically smothering her fiancée.

"Janie!" She cries as she pulls the brunette towards them. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Okay, Ma." Jane grumbles trying to break from Angela's bone crushing hug. "Maura's got to go put some clothes on. Come on, I'll help you in the kitchen." She says as she grabs a muffin from the bag on the counter her mother brought in.

"Maura, what have you done to my daughter. She wants to help me in the kitchen, you've somehow made her an honest woman." Angela jokes. "Well, almost." She adds after noticing her daughter chewing with her mouth open.

Maura laughs lightly, before remembering she's still in her robe. "I'm just going to go get dressed and I'll be right back down." Maura comments while heading towards the stairs.

"You might want to put makeup on too dear. Cover up my daughter's handiwork." Angela adds, gesturing toward Maura's neck.

"Jane, really?" Maura whines, realizing Angela is referring to the hickies that are most likely forming from Jane's assault on her neck.

"Sorry." Jane mumbles through a full mouth.

"No you're not." Maura yells behind her.

"Yeah, I'm not." Jane chuckles as Angela shakes her head.

"Really Jane? You couldn't have shower sex earlier in the morning so I didn't have to walk in on this?" Angela questions, causing Jane to practically spit out her muffin.

"I w-what?" Jane stutters coughing awkwardly in between.

"Oh come on, you think I don't know the two of you have sex. Besides Maura's in a robe and both of you have wet heads. That plus the fact that you've practically done more damage to her neck than a vampire! It doesn't take a detective to put it together."

"Okay, okay. Just stop." Jane grumbles.

"I'll put you out of your misery if you tell me how you asked." Angela bargains.

"Ask what?" Jane asks, pretending she doesn't know.

"Don't play dumb. How did you ask Maura to marry you?" She presses.

"Ma." Jane whines.

"Don't Ma me. You stalled for so long Jane, I just want to know how you did it." Angela wonders.

"It wasn't fancy or special, it was kind of spontaneous a few nights ago." Jane explains, trying to hide the fact that her hasty proposal was spurred from their argument.

"That's it?" She questions.

"Yeah, Ma. I wanted it to be special, but things just didn't work out that way." Jane adds.

"It was special to me." Maura butts in upon reentering the kitchen fully dressed. "She had this great speech, but just the fact that she was asking was enough for me."

Angela awes excitedly before hugging Maura again. "We'll finally officially make you a Rizzoli."

"She's always been a Rizzoli, Ma." Jane corrects.

"Yeah but now I'll have the last name to match." Maura agrees.

"You're taking our last name?" Angela asks.

"I am." She smiles as Jane wraps and arm around her waist and kisses her temple proudly.

"This is so exciting, I can't wait to help plan the wedding. Oh my God, when are you guys going to get married, who should we invite-"

"Ma!" Jane shouts until she stops. "First we have to tell everyone tonight at dinner. Then we, as in Maura and I, will call a planner and start planning _our _wedding."

"Oh." Angela responds downcast.

"But if we need you Angela, we'll definitely ask." Maura adds hoping to not disappoint her so much. "I'd love it if you'd help me pick out a dress when the time comes."

"I'd love to." Angela says happily. "My daughters are finally getting married. This is so exciting. I'm going to make something extra special tonight to celebrate, which means I've got to go to the store."

"Okay Ma, calm down." Jane laughs.

"I'll come with you." Maura says, unwrapping Jane's arm from her.

"No, I will. You're going to sit here and relax and watch Doctor Who, or Star Trek, or the History Channel or whatever geek stuff you want to watch. Today you're not lifting a finger." Jane argues.

"Maura what have you done to my daughter?" Angela jokes.

"Jane I told you I'm fine." Maura protests.

"I don't care, just relax today so there's no pressure tonight." Jane presses.

"What am I missing here?" Angela questions.

"Hope's coming to dinner tonight. I invited her and now I'm a little frantic about confronting her." Maura says, ignoring the itchiness rising in her neck from her small lie, and not to mention the death glare Jane is giving her.

"Maura you shouldn't waste your time with that woman." Angela says spitefully.

"Ma." Jane scolds.

"No, after what she said to Maura, that woman deserves no forgiveness." Angela argues.

"Ma, don't." Jane says.

"Angela, it's fine. She wants to apologize so I've decided to give her a chance." Maura explains, while the urge to scratch her neck increases.

"Sometimes you're too nice, Maura." Angela comments.

"Ma, go wait for me in the car and let it warm up, I'll be right out so we can go to the store." Jane says while continuing to eye Maura.

Angela follows her orders and grabs the keys and her jacket leaving the two of them alone.

"You didn't have to do that, you shouldn't have. You know lying gives you hives. I don't want you to lie for me again, especially not to my mother, okay?" Jane says softly.

"I didn't want to start any kind of fight. Your mom thinking I invited Hope instead of you won't hurt anything." Maura shrugs.

"Except your neck." Jane points out, stepping closer towards the blonde.

"Well I mean, you've already practically attacked it, so what's a few hives on top of hickies?" Maura laughs.

Jane chuckles lightly and brushes a hand down Maura's neck before hinging her jaw with her hand. "Sorry for leaving so many marks, your neck was all I had access to."

"You were in the moment." Maura excuses. "Besides I wasn't complaining." She admits. "I'm still not."

Jane hums her agreement and brushes her nose to Maura's before drawing her in for a slow, languid kiss. She rests her forehead against Maura's and smiles before kissing her lips several more times. "Promise me you'll just relax and watch TV while we're gone."

Maura nods before pulling Jane into another passionate kiss. "You should go before Angela comes to drag you out."

Jane nods and steps back. "I love you." She says as she grabs her coat and heads to the door.

"Love you too." Maura answers before sitting down in front of the TV like she's been told.

"You better be in that exact spot when I get back." Jane warns her, receiving a "yeah, yeah" in return from the blonde before closing the door behind her. She's rubbing off on that girl too much.

* * *

Everyone is gathered like any other average Sunday dinner, chatting, working or goofing around. Frost is making fun of Frankie. Maura is in the kitchen with Julia and Angela despite Jane's attempts to make her relax. Korsak is entertaining the baby while Tommy is surprisingly helping Jane set the table.

But it all comes to a standstill when they hear a knock at the door. Jane warned them all that Hope would be coming, and she told them to be civil and welcoming. However, the tense and slightly angry looks on just about everyone's faces in the room are enough to make her realize it won't be that easy. The saying 'you don't mess with a Rizzoli' is quite evident tonight.

She reiterates one final time that no one is to say anything rude or off comment before opening the door and allowing a very obviously nervous Hope Martin inside. Awkwardness fills the room like smoke and it doesn't leave, even when they're all sitting down at the dinner table.

It's mostly quiet, no one wanting to bring up normal family conversation around the intruder. Everyone is tense, Maura stiffer than anyone in the room.

Jane takes her hand and she's sees some of Maura's anxiety dissipate. She begins rubbing light circles on Maura's palm to calm her. When Maura laces her fingers with hers and squeezes like she never wants to let go she takes that as both a good and a bad sign. She eyes Tommy hopefully, the black sheep in the family who isn't afraid of any awkward situation, usually because he simply chooses to remain blissfully unaware.

This time he understands though and takes the hint before he starts rattling off some story of whatever cute thing Junior did last week.

It doesn't break the thick air of uneasiness within the room, but it ends the silence and opens the table up to little discussion.

It's not long before Maura gives her a look that says it's time and pulls their joined hands from beneath the table.

"Maura and I have got an announcement we'd like to make." Jane breaks the barely there conversation going on.

When everyone has their eyes on them Maura continues. "We've figured Sunday dinner would be the best time to announce our engagement. Jane proposed, we're getting married." Maura exclaims passionately.

Undeterred by everything going on in that moment, Jane keeps her eyes on Maura as she speaks those words and she sees absolute bliss and happiness in her eyes. She doesn't even realize the smile on her own face until she feels the pain in her cheeks from how large she's grinning.

"Congratulations." Breaks her from her trance of only Maura, along with "Janie finally grew a pair" courtesy of Frankie and a "seconded" from Frost.

Jane's pretty sure she even hears a light congratulations from Hope.

Their announcement works to lift the uneasiness when everyone begins asking questions and forgets about the woman at the end of the table.

When dinner is finally wrapped up, everyone separates to do their own things. Jane just stands around and watches everyone go their own ways.

She watches Korsak and her mother go into the kitchen to start cleaning up. She watches how he convinces her to let him wash up and she watches her mother's face light up before she kisses him. Usually something like that would cause her to comment on how disgusting it is or say something snarky, but instead it makes her genuinely happy to see her mom happy. She's glad that woman finally gave in to Korsak.

She watches Frankie, Frost and Tommy head outside to play some basketball, denying them when they ask her to join. She watches as Tommy hands Junior over to Julia who gladly accepts the growing child. She watches her face and the grin that breaks out across it when she gets a hold of the baby.

Most importantly she watches Maura, nervously follow Hope outside to talk like she promised she would before the start of dinner. They head out into the backyard, visible to Jane through the glass doors. She keeps them in her view as she follows Julia into the living room with Junior.

"He's adorable isn't he?" Julia asks, breaking her concentration on the two women talking animatedly outside.

"Yes." Jane agrees, smiling at her red faced, grinning nephew. "I can't believe how big he's getting. He's going to be a year old soon."

"Yeah, you're a big boy." Julia says in a baby voice to the now babbling baby.

"It'll be soon before he starts talking." Jane says excitedly. "Tommy's doing such a good job."

"Are you surprised?" Julia wonders.

"No, it just took some real responsibility to set him straight. You know, I think Junior here was his saving grace." Jane admits, joining Julia on the floor to play with her nephew.

"Having kids changes people." Julia agrees. "But it's not usually a bad change. Creating life just tends to makes people better I guess."

"Yeah." Jane agrees, half listening half watching her nephew roll around on the floor. She really can't believe how big he's getting. She feels like it wasn't too long ago since her and Maura were watching him together, barely getting a wink of sleep. She remembers how she tried to hide the baby monitor one night and Maura caught her and got angry. What she didn't know was that Jane was trying to put it under the pillow so only she would be awoken by his fussing and Maura would be able to sleep. She also remembers how happy she was playing house with Maura, until she kept remembering that Maura wasn't her wife and Junior wasn't their son. No matter how much she really wanted them to be. If someone told her that fantasy was possibly going to come true she'd laugh in their face, but now she's halfway there and she can't wait.

"Don't tell your brother this because it may send him running, but I can't wait to have kids." Julia smiles as Junior crawls over to Jane and interrupts her thoughts.

"Really?" Jane questions, setting her nephew in her lap.

"Yeah, definitely. Don't you?" She wonders.

Jane sits speechless for a moment because she really doesn't know if she wants to admit it yet to anyone but Maura. She finally decides to answer truthfully when she's interrupted by the boys reentering the house followed by a string of "Owws" and curses. She looks up to find Frankie holding his nose and watches as Julia hops up and rushes over to her boyfriend before Angela starts yelling about rough housing and Frost starts apologizing over and over again.

She laughs at the scene, her nephew joining in with his own giggles though he has no idea what's going on.

"Oh you think that's funny huh?" She questions the child. "You like when Uncle Frankie gets hurt?" She's met with even more laughter from Junior and she can't help the huge smile that splits across her face. Her and her nephew have something in common.

Her moment with the baby is interrupted when she hears Tommy suggest they get Maura to reset Frankie's nose. She jumps up immediately at that.

"You will not bother her right now." Jane argues, instinctively cradling and rocking the child in her arms. She glances over towards the door and sees the two blondes still talking outside and she is not going to intrude.

"Yes, absolutely not." Angela butts in. "You shouldn't have been rough housing."

"Ma, we were just playing ball." Frankie pleads.

"I don't care, Maura is busy and you won't annoy her tonight." Angela argues. "You'll have to go to the emergency room to get it reset or have Maura do it tomorrow."

"I'll take him." Julia agrees, grabbing their jackets.

"Umm I think I'll head out too." Frost says awkwardly, avoiding Angela's glares.

Jane chuckles before stepping closer to him. "Don't worry, she's just trying to guilt trip you with those angry looks. Frankie and I have done more damage to each other than bloody noses." She reassures a nervous Frost.

"Thanks." He mumbles before walking towards the door.

"Well if everyone is leaving I should go too. I should probably get him to sleep anyways." Tommy says, pointing to his son in Jane's arms.

Jane's rocking motions have almost put him to sleep when Tommy takes him from her arms. "You're always really good with him." He smiles. "Tell Maura I said congrats to the two of you."

She agrees and walks the four of them to the door as they put on their coats and say their goodbyes and congratulations one last time. Once they're all gone she has nothing else to do but help finish cleaning and wait for Maura to be done with Hope.

"They've been out there for a while." Angela comments.

"Yeah, do you think Maura's alright out there?" Korsak asks.

"I told her to come inside if she needs us. She knows what she's doing otherwise." Jane says, though she doesn't quite know if she believes it.

It's not long before Hope comes in alone, eyes obviously red and puffy from crying. She says her goodbyes and congratulations one last time before grabbing her coat. Jane walks her out but it doesn't make things any less awkward as she leaves. When she walks back in, Maura still hasn't come inside. She's worried about what kind of state she's in given what Hope looked like.

"You should go out there. Korsak and I will finish up in here and head out." Angela suggests.

"Yeah, okay." Jane agrees before heading over to them and hugging her mother.

"Congratulations, Janie." Korsak says as he hugs her tightly following Angela.

"Thanks Korsak. I'll see you tomorrow." She says before heading to the linen closet and grabbing a thick blanket and heading outside to join Maura.

She finds her sitting on the porch bench looking completely worn out. It's too dark to tell, but Jane is sure her eyes are glassy and puffy just like Hope's were. She sits down wordlessly and pulls Maura into her lap, wrapping her tightly in the blanket she's brought out.

Maura lays her head in the crook of Jane's neck and finds solace in the warmth she brings and the silent understanding that remains between them. She exhales deeply before speaking, "That could have gone worse."

"That bad huh?" Jane asks.

"Not bad, just exhausting." She sighs.

"I'm sorry." Jane answers truthfully.

"Jane stop saying that." Maura groans tiredly. "You did a good thing."

"So you guys are better?" Jane wonders.

"Not better exactly. We just talked. She told me how sorry she was and how much she regretted what she said to me. She even apologized for what Kailyn said to me." Maura tells her.

"Okay, so you accepted her apology and it's all good karma and everything is at peace." Jane humors.

"She wants to get to know me." Maura adds.

"You don't have to Maura. You don't owe her anything now." Jane argues.

"I know. Hope told me that exactly. She said she doesn't regret the life I've lived and she's proud of the way I turned out because she knows she wouldn't have done nearly as good of a job. Growing up with a well to do family was better and safer than being raised by a would be college drop-out and an Irish mobster." Maura explains.

"Okay so that's it."

"We are having lunch next weekend." Maura says.

"What, Maur really?" Jane questions.

"Jane you were the one who wanted me to forgive her." Maura states.

"Yeah, Maura _forgive _her not become her best friend." Jane bites back.

"Jane I'm not becoming her best friend. She wants to get to know me, I'm giving her a chance." Maura answers calmly despite Jane's harsh tone.

"Okay, I get it." Jane relents, rubbing Maura's arms to warm her in the dropping temperature. "We should go inside, it's cold."

"It's starting to snow." Maura agrees. "But I like it, it's calming." She adds, kissing the underside of Jane's jaw.

"Don't blame me if you catch a cold." Jane comments before wrapping the blanket tighter around her fiancée.

"I'm not worried. I've got you to keep me warm." Maura murmurs as she cuddles closer into Jane. "You know, Hope said she likes you. She said that out of all the things she's proud of about me, she's happiest with the fact that I'm with someone like you."

"Is that so?" Jane asks earning a hum in response. It's silent briefly before Jane decides to speak up. "You know last night when you thought I was asking to have a baby?"

"Jane I'm sorry. After Aaron left you said soon and I just thought you were thinking about it. I'm still getting over Aaron, but I didn't mean to take that out on you." Maura explains.

"I want to Maura." Jane declares.

"You want to-"

"Have a baby, Maur. I want to." She elaborates to a slightly confused Maura.

"Jane, we have plenty of time. I didn't mean to pressure you." She apologizes, thinking her comment last night might have forced the brunette into wanting kids right now.

"No, I've looked it up, I know it takes time. I think we should start trying." Jane presses.

"Jane I don't want you to do this unless you're sure." She says before going over what Jane has just said.

"Wait, you've looked it up?"

"When I could get away from Ma today, I read up whatever I could about the process. I know it's going to be doctor visits and fertility injections, screenings and treatments, in vitro and lots of waiting. I don't know everything and I know it's not going to be easy, but I want to Maura. I wanna make a baby with you!" She exclaims.

"You want to have a baby?" Maura stutters out, lifting her head to make sure she can see Jane's face as she answers.

"I really do, Maur. Whenever you're ready I want to." Jane promises before her lips are captured in a passionate kiss by her fiancée.

"You're sure?" Maura asks, breaking the kiss just to make sure.

"Yes." Jane chuckles. "I want a little Maura."

"Jane, I'm so happy." She exclaims through tears before stealing Jane's mouth again.

"I'm glad." Jane pants, brushing back Maura's blonde locks with a genuine smile. "Can we go inside now, I'm freezing and exhausted."

Maura jumps off her lap and pulls her up towards the house, a noticed pep in her step.

"Maybe we can start working on that baby tonight." Jane says darkly, watching Maura's hips swing happily up the stairs.

"Jane I don't think that's possible." Maura responds factually.

"Sexual innuendo, Maura." Jane explains causing the blonde to turn around and look at her with hooded eyes.

"Oh, yeah then we can definitely start tonight." She laughs, pulling the brunette into their bedroom and shutting the door.


End file.
